noir

and i see you in everywhere i go,

like a breeze that lingers on my hair on a windy day

and through the far away clouds i see your shape

echoing through the night, a soprano i can’t escape

everyone else turns into your simulacrum

i still reach out to you like i try to hold an atom

you haunt my sleep like a ghost haunts its chateau

the same way dewdrops stick around on the meadows

but just for you i'd write until the day i die

even as a vain attempt to eternalize, immortalize

even you're just a diminutive being, diminutive feeling

because what is grief if not love persevering?

begging, just so i could hold onto a weakened link

between the dead and the living

praying, just so i could murmur a familiar name

even though nothing can ever be the same

when the sun sets i still see you in my own shadow

Crossing paths on a sunny morning

You met me with a smile

My back facing the door, you were a nice surprise

So I let my plans out the window

And if you know, you know

You were vibrant, I wanted it blue

If you didn't know, now you do

That I got my eyes on you

Lying next to you, was it a joke too cruel?

All my white lies, 'tis a white night

For whatever it's worth, I was meant to lose

A mixed signal, a touch too close

I never had to ask, 'cause there ain't nothin' else to do

"It's been such a long time", I guess I never knew

One, four, five, six; just to name a few

How did it happen? You can just call it treason

Family treasure's always a thief's reason

Though I should have been a better person

Oh, I could have been a better person

But I was fucked up a long time ago

You wanted my secret, now you know

Cruel reality, how time can be so rush

In a blink and days turn into stardust

Memories wilt, they all rust

So when we're gone, we're gone

And if we die, we die

Felt just like a dream, when our eyes last met

you and me, why don’t we make a bad romance

play the game until it loses its sense

let me sing our song with your mic in my hand

twist it, lick it, write my name on it with my lip

stick and thrust it and make a rhythm out of it

we are bad for each other but i know you love it

the explorations deep inside my cave

the adventures between my mountains

don’t close it now, keep the curtains open

if we have companies let them see us in action

hot to death, their love can’t even compare

gimme all till you got nothing left to share

smudge my lipstick and twist my hair

on the white sheet as we paint with our bodies bare

lick me up and swallow me like your favorite candy

tell me i'm sweet and ain't nothing better than me

like a drug, i want you desperate for this

i need you on your knees for pieces and bits

say your prayers and lose your life for it

i'll go crazy in your arm, baby

i'll swear that i'm yours to the end of time

i'll promise that i love you and you're my one true crime

but only till the lights are off and sun is on

i'll fade away like the last note in your song

the warmth still lingers but i'm no longer around

i'll stay lost and can never be found

Sometimes i think about a different life

Living by the woods with blonde hair, blue eyes

Acting front of a mirror and singing in the shower

To be talented, to be a singer

Move to LA by the time i'm 18

They call me a prodigy, cast me as an actor

To draw tears with my cries and all fame by my side

Standing under the spotlight, i can sing with my might

They love me for who i act, for what i write

Name's all over the boulevard, posters on street signs

My records on shelves by the time i'm 20

They ask me about new songs, i'd say "plenty"

Walking by the road and recognized by many

They love me for how i sing, all treat me nicely

Expensive dresses and glamorous jewelries

Standing on the big stage, asking "do you miss me?"

Their screams deafening but why am i not happy?

Maybe then i'm thinking of a different life

In a smaller country, with black hair, brown eyes

Not belong to the spotlight but more so the nights

No longer a singer, actor, song producer

No longer on the big screen but still a writer

Holding no fame but all the words on paper

In a different life i'd be singing my own poems

Creating my own melody, still sounding solemn

But in this one i'll just let myself hide