I'm Not Going To Lose You (Winterfield - Chris Redfield/Ethan Winters Fluff fic)
This is a prompt that I saw on here written by @re8-has-taken-me-over (you should 100% go follow them btw, they seem like such a lovely person) and I asked permission before writing this and they gave me permission so this is what I came up with! @re8-has-taken-me-over, I hope you like it! ^^
This story is both readable here and on ao3. Either option works, it's whatever you prefer! Click to keep reading if you want to read it here.
I'm Not Going To Lose You (Published: 05/27/2021)
Pairing: Chris Redfield x Ethan Winters
Fandom: Resident Evil 8
Trigger Warning: None.
Length: 3492 Words, 1 Chapter. Completed.
Summary: “Chris…,” Ethan said again, stopping in his tracks, forcing Chris to look at him. “I don’t think I can keep going.”
“No, you can,” Chris insisted, “you have to."
Ethan only tried to push Rose into his arms again, his eyes beginning to tear up. He needed Chris to run so they both could survive. If they both survived, then he could die happy. "You both need to survive, okay? There’s no time to argue about this so you should just-”
Before Ethan could even finish his words, Chris wrapped a hand around the back of his head, his gloved fingers lacing with his hair while the other hand pushed the baby further into his grasp. Ethan didn’t have time to question the movement because the next thing he knew, Chris’s lips were on his own. His eyes widened as Chris pushed him further into the kiss, deepening it as his eyes slowly fluttered closed.
The kiss was warm and sweet, gentle and loving, it was everything he could ever want. It was short, too. Chris pulled away before he had a chance to kiss back.
“I’m not going to lose you." Chris said, "Not again.”
“Ethan, get up!” A voice called to him. Footsteps ran up to his side but it was too late. Ethan had already dropped to his knees, slowly losing his will to stand. He had been fighting for so long to save his little girl, his precious daughter, Rosemary, without a moment’s rest. He barely had the energy to cradle her in his arms.
“Ethan,” The same voice said again, hurried and full of concern. An arm was wrapped around his shoulders, “Ethan, can you get up? You have to stand.”
Ethan looked up at the owner of the voice, his heart warming at the sight of Chris and his gentle blue eyes. Chris had been there with him through everything. When Mia died after giving birth to Rose eight months ago, he helped him through the grief, even going as far to occasionally stay over and help him raise the baby. He owed him everything, even though Chris had originally, during this whole mission, refused to tell him anything, only making him think that Chris betrayed him.
But he never doubted him. Not really. He knew Chris would never hurt him. He trusted him and knew that he wasn’t that type of person. He was much more of a protector than a fighter.
That’s what he loved about him.
“Chris… why are you here?” He asked. Maybe that was a stupid question. He already knew that Chris was here to deal with Miranda and her fucked up antics.
“To save you, idiot,” Chris said, his voice soft. He looked panicked and Ethan knew why. The battle still wasn’t done. He sighed, glancing at the black mold creature slowly rising again to attack. “Ethan, listen to me. You did it. You finished it.”
“I think we finished each other,” Ethan said, feeling an overwhelming ache take over his body. He was done. He couldn’t do any more.
Chris shook his head, “no. You’re fine, you’re going to be okay. But you have to stand for me, okay?”
Ethan slowly lifted his head, each movement stiff and heavy. He looked into Chris’s gentle, worried eyes. He would have to stand. At least for him. For Rosemary. He slowly nodded his head and carefully moved his legs out so he could get up, each movement slow and painful. Chris however helped him, wrapping his arm around his back, throwing the arm Ethan wasn’t using to hold Rosemary over his own shoulder and lifted him to his feet.
Chris helped him turn, immediately guiding him to the plane, dragging him along with him. He softly whispered to him all kinds of encouraging words, “you can do it, it’s not that much further. You’re going to make it, just keep going.”
It warmed his heart. But Ethan knew he wasn’t going to survive. He was already too far gone. “Chris…”
“Come on, keep going, you’re so close, Ethan.”
“Chris…,” Ethan said again, stopping in his tracks, forcing Chris to look at him. “I don’t think I can keep going.”
“No, you can,” Chris insisted, “you have to.”
Ethan weakly shook his head. “Please, Chris, I’ll just slow you down,” he said, gently shifting his arm, trying to make Chris take the baby, “take her and run, okay? You both need to survive.”
“No,” Chris shook his head, his eyes widened, “no, we’re going to survive, all three of us, okay?”
Ethan only tried to push Rose into his arms again, his eyes beginning to tear up. He needed Chris to run so they both could survive. If they both survived, then he could die happy. “Please, just go. It’s okay. You need to survive,” Ethan said, his hand naturally falling onto Chris’ cheek, his thumb gently rubbing the bone underneath. He never got to tell Chris how over the years, when he was helping him raise his daughter, helping him move on with his life, he had begun to fall in love with him.
He had just discovered his true feelings not long before this all began and… he would never get to tell him. But that was okay. As long as he was alive and well, he could be happy. “You both need to survive, okay? There’s no time to argue about this so you should just-”
Before Ethan could even finish his words, Chris wrapped a hand around the back of his head, his gloved fingers lacing with his hair while the other hand pushed the baby further into his grasp. Ethan didn’t have time to question the movement because the next thing he knew, Chris’s lips were on his own. His eyes widened as Chris pushed him further into the kiss, deepening it as his eyes slowly fluttered closed.
He couldn’t believe what was happening right now but he might as well not be surprised. So many crazy things have been happening in such a short span of time, he wouldn’t be surprised if this was all a dream.
But he truly hoped it wasn’t. The kiss was warm and sweet, gentle and loving, it was everything he could ever want. It was short, too. Chris pulled away before he had a chance to kiss back.
“Chris-” Ethan began but Chris cut him off again by suddenly wrapping an arm behind his back, the other one going underneath his legs to lift him up - bridal style - in his arms.
“I’m not going to lose you. Not again,” Chris said, “so don’t worry about walking anymore. Just hold onto Rosemary, I’ll get us there.”
Ethan gasped as Chris started running, carrying all of his weight with such ease. Ethan did as he asked and tightened his arms around the baby while Chris got them to safety. He felt his heartbeat quicken at the very idea of Chris trying so hard to save him but it was mostly beating so fast because of what just happened a few seconds ago.
He had never thought that Chris would kiss him or potentially like him back.
“Chris…,” He began. Now wasn’t the time to talk about it, he knew but he really needed some answered questions.
“Not now, running,” Chris said firmly, “we need to get far away before I blow that thing sky-high.”
“But Chris, that-”
“Not now, Ethan!”
Ethan fell silent at that and just let the man carry him. He carefully held Rose tighter to his chest, keeping her secure while he leaned his head onto Chris’s neck. He felt so useless being carried like this but at least he could try to feel like he was supporting Chris by being near him.
It was only a few seconds later that they were all in the helicopter. Chris immediately sat Ethan down into a seat, rushing to buckle him in and then went to start the plane. Ethan could do nothing but watch him, staring at him expectantly. He wanted to help him somehow even though he knew there was barely anything he could do right now with how weak and exhausted he was.
Chris seemed to understand that too. He said nothing to him, only giving him gentle glances, soft small smiles here and there as he started the plane, getting it into flight and as soon as they were high enough, it was finally time to finish the job. Chris pulled out the trigger for the bomb, immediately setting it off. “Hold tight!” he said as soon as he pressed it.
Ethan quickly held Rosemary close to him, grabbing hold of his seat as the plane shook from the shockwave of the explosion. Ethan gasped as he nearly slid out of his seat, Chris quickly getting out of his own to help stabilize him by holding him close. It was only a second before the shockwave passed, leaving the two of them steady and safe .
Ethan looked up, his eyes meeting Chris’s, their noses touching. He was so close that if Ethan leaned up just a little, he could kiss him again. But he couldn’t. Not just yet. They needed to talk about the first one before they could do it again.
Silence enveloped them as they only stared at each other, panting slightly as the adrenaline rush slowly ebbed away. Chris glanced up and down over Ethan, as if checking to make sure he was okay before moving to his feet and returned to pilot the plane. Ethan watched his every move, wondering how to even begin discussing their future, the next step and what happened moments ago.
Ethan could still feel the warmth from the kiss Chris gave him earlier. He didn’t even know how to begin. He had never even noticed Chris having feelings for him! He always thought the big soldier was just trying to help. He never thought that he could maybe like him back. Ethan mentally slapped himself as he ran a hand over his face. He felt like he was in high school again, confessing to his crush. How annoying.
He cleared his throat. It was now or never, “Chris…”
“Yes?"
“Can we talk about what happened earlier?”
Chris fell silent for a second before saying, “you mean with all the dying?”
“No, after that,” Ethan said, chuckling slightly.
He could see Chris smile for a split second at his own poor attempt of avoiding the talk they needed to have but then it vanished and he reached over, putting the plane on autopilot. He got out of his seat before walking over to Ethan, kneeling down in front of him. “Yes. We can.”
Ethan nodded. So now they were talking about it. The problem is, he didn’t know what to say next. He didn’t know where to begin. He cleared his throat again. “So…,” he started awkwardly, “why did you… you know?”
Chris stared at him for a moment as if he was trying to formulate his thoughts. “Well, you were trying to give up on me and I wasn’t going to let you do that.”
“Was it just to motivate me?”
“No.”
“Then why else?”
Chris smiled at that, “do you really need me to spell it out for you?”
Ethan’s eyes widened at that, his heart beating a little faster. “So you mean you…”
“It was kind of hard not to see how you were getting feelings for me, Ethan,” Chris said, causing Ethan to scoff and look away, a blush forming on his cheeks. “And to be honest with you, I’m surprised you never saw how I felt the same way. I was waiting for a good moment to tell you and, well, ask you out but then things sort of went to hell.” He chuckled slightly, trying to lighten the mood a little bit. So he had planned to tell him not too long ago.
“So you… I can take this as you like me back and you know that I like you too, right?” Ethan asked, just to be sure.
“Yes,” Chris nodded, “that’s exactly how I want you to take it, to be honest.”
“Good…,” Ethan smiled, “good. So then… What does this mean? What do we do now?”
“Well, it can mean whatever you want it to mean,” Chris said, shifting a little bit closer to him. “It can mean we’re together now and we can start dating or we can just have our feelings be out there in the open and figure it out when things calm down… we can do whatever makes you feel comfortable.”
Ethan couldn’t help but gently take a hold of Chris’s face at that and guide him to his lips to kiss him once more, this time finally able to kiss back. That was one of the things that Ethan loved so much about Chris. He was so selfless.
Chris reacted instantly, leaning forward so he could wrap his arms around Ethan’s back, using his weight to keep him and Rose secure in his embrace. He pulled Ethan close to him, one hand threading through his hair while the other was firmly on his back. Ethan’s hands slid from the sides of Chris’s face to draping over his shoulders, wrapping his arms around his neck.
He didn’t want to just leave the feelings out in the open. He didn’t want to wait until things calmed down. He wanted to be with him and be happy and safe for once.
That’s all he wanted…
.
.
.
.
“Dad! Can you tell me what year it was that World War 2 began?”
Chris had wanted the exact same thing as Ethan.
“Depends, which dad are you asking, the one that failed history or the one loved it but forgot everything by the time college came?” He said, calling to the living room where their now 11 year old daughter was sitting on the couch, trying to do her history homework.
Ethan chuckled, sipping at his coffee with his other hand laced with Chris’s. He watched as his husband smiled at his own tricky answer. Rosemary had no idea which one was which.
“Whichever one knows exactly what I’m talking about!” She called back, her reply snarky. Ethan honestly didn’t know where she got the sass from but he most definitely blamed Chris.
“Okay, okay,” Ethan said, “It was 2012.”
“Dad-eef!” She snapped at him, giving him one of those teenage death glares that the kids had these days. He chuckled at the nickname. It’s what she called him back when she was a baby. She could never pronounce ‘daddy’ really well so the nickname ‘dad-eef’ stuck.
“Alright,” he sighed, “It was 1939. Promise it’s true.”
“Are you sure? I’m not asking the dad who failed history, am I?” She said, a playful tone in her voice as she wrote the answer down.
Ethan laughed, standing up to put his mug into the sink before gently kissing his husband on the forehead. “Nope, I'm afraid that’s your other father.”
“You weren’t supposed to tell,” Chris said, smiling with so much adoration in his eyes, it always blew Ethan away. It had been a long time since the events at the village and all was well for the now, the three of them living peacefully in their home in southern Iowa in America. Chris has long since retired from the BSAA and Ethan was still happily working as a mechanical engineer. Ever since they came back home, the relationship between them was awkward but it quickly grew into what it was now. Hell, it took only two years of dating before the two of them got married.
“Well, she needs to know who is a credible source here,” Ethan said with a grin. He peered outside the window, “Rose, it looks like Annette is here.”
“Oh!” She gasped, immediately packing up her schoolwork, “I forgot all about that.”
“You make sure you study when you get back, okay?” Ethan said a little firmly. He wasn’t a strict parent at all when it came to school, but he didn’t want Rose to let her work slide. School was important to a certain degree.
Rose sighed, “yes, yes, I know, I will. I’ll be back probably around six.”
“Six?” Chris grumbled, “I don’t know if I approve of my daughter staying out that late on a date. You should be back around five.”
“But it’s already four!”
“Exactly. Sounds reasonable to me,” Chris mumbled. Ethan laughed, gently caressing his cheek to make him smile back at him.
“Rose, don’t worry about it, try to be back at least around eight, okay? Eight is the latest.” Ethan said.
“Okay, dad-eef, will do,” She said, hoisting her backpack over her shoulder and heading to the door, “and it’s not a date!”
“Too late, you didn’t deny it earlier!” Ethan called back, only to hear her let out a little embarrassed shriek.
“Whatever, it doesn’t matter. Bye dads, love you!” She said, already out the door before she could hear them call back, “love you too!”
Ethan laughed as he watched her go to the car through the window. “She likes her.”
“I know,” Chris said, getting up from his place at the table, “I don’t like it.”
“Why not? Annette is a sweet girl,” Ethan smiled. He’s met Annette and her family only a few times, but she always struck him as a really polite girl. If his daughter ever did choose to date her, he would definitely be happy with her choice.
“Yes but I still don’t like it. Before you know it, the two of them will want to get married and move out and bleeh,” he said, an annoyed look on his face that did nothing but make Ethan laugh. He knew that Chris really didn’t have a problem with Annette and he actually approved of Rosemary’s choice quite a bit. But he was still a dad and dads tended to be overprotective.
Chris became a rather overprotective dad the day they got married and Ethan never got upset about that fact. He loved how quick Chris was to take Rosemary under his wing and treat her like she was his own.
He was such a good dad.
He needed to be told that more often.
“You’re a good father,” Ethan said, smiling gently at him. His words were so soft, it made Chris stop in his tracks to the sink and immediately look at him.
“A-Am I?” he stammered awkwardly, smiling back at him, “I doubt I’m anywhere as good as you. You have so much experience on me.”
“Maybe,” Ethan admitted that he did. He had been raising Rosemary a lot longer than Chris had. “But even so, you really fell into the role pretty easily. And you do such a good job at it. You treat her as if she’s your own daughter and I can’t tell you how special that is to her… to me.”
Chris’s eyes softened as Ethan slowly approached him, his hand returning to the side of his face, gently cradling his face. Chris smiled, leaning into the warmth of his palm before taking a hold of it just so he could kiss him, right on the center of his life lines. “Of course,” he said, “why wouldn’t I? She’s a good kid and I’m proud of being her father or well, her other father.”
“I’m proud too,” Ethan smiled, wrapping his arms loosely around Chris’s neck, “you’re a wonderful father and husband… how could I not be?"
Chris’s face faltered for a second. It wasn’t rare that they had sweet moments like these, it’s just it blew Chris away every single time. Ethan already knew it did so he smiled more sweetly at his husband before he placed a kiss on his lips.
Chris kissed him back before his husband pulled away, his smile mischievous now.
“You know your daughter won’t be back for quite some time now,” he said.
Chris could practically see the wheels turning in his head. He knew exactly what he was trying to hint at. “And?” he smirked, teasing him, “what about it?”
“Oh come on, you know exactly what I’m trying to say,” Ethan rolled his eyes but Chris continued his teasing.
“Oh you mean watching all the ghostbuster movies since she hates them so much? Or do you mean going out to the restaurant we’ve been wanting to try lately? Or do you mean…,” his smirk deepened, “doing something a little more indecent?”
Ethan blushed and shook his head, “see now I’m not so sure anymore.”
Chris laughed, wrapping his arms around his waist, “we can do whatever you want to do. I was just teasing you. I’m happy to do whatever you have in mind.”
“Are you really? Because now I’m not so sure.”
“Honest! I truly will be happy with whatever you want to do,” Chris chuckled, “you’re fun to tease, I couldn’t help it.”
“Yeah, I know, you always do that,” Ethan smiled, honestly not minding it at all. He’s gotten used to how much of a tease Chris was.
Chris smiled back at him, dipping his neck down so he could kiss Ethan. Ethan wrapped his arms tighter around his neck before pulling away, “I think you already know what I’d like to do.”
Chris kissed his forehead, a gentle look on his face as he took a hold of his hand, “I do,” he led him to the stairs which led to the second floor where the bedrooms were - specifically, their own, “let’s get to work then. Who knows when Rosemary will be back.”
Ethan chuckled as his foot met the steps, “well then I guess we can have as much fun as we want until she gets back.”
Chris laughed at that and the two of them went up the stairs, going to their room to do their own personal activities, the whole time feeling loved and at peace with each other. Things were well now. And they were always going to be well.
Because they had each other.





















