MAD'MOISELLE

yes the dating rumours came out, but no, my hyuna did not confirm it! however the rumours are affecting edawn still and hyuna still as well, whatever ways this is going to be affecting her i hope to be writing it soon! i haven’t written in forever i am deprived. but i have been doing a lot of reading and character depth bts.

so as of right now, with my hyuna, those rumours will stay just that--rumours that she’s dating edawn because she’s not dating edawn in my verse simple as that. and on my side, it will eventually die down and maybe one day be revealed that she was actually seeing someone else. 

so no, her current rs status is not disclosed unless she’s told your muse, it wouldn’t be common knowledge, at least not the identity of who it is, it’s all just rumours. am i going in circles? maybe, i think the point is easy to get. 

[ ... ]

“i will,” and there’s a kiss in between this because there can be and he needs it to be, “make you the biggest breakfast for as long as i’m here. so much that you’ll have to be in bed because you’ll be so full.” there’s a smile, because their faces are still so close that it moves against hers, nose and cheeks and all. “and I’ll make these mornings count for all the ones we missed.” and the ones they’ll soon miss again, and for these few ones to be the ones they hold onto to fill the space. 

“then you can be angry at me afterwards. because when I do miss you, which I always do, I want to be able to think back to a smiling hyuna who’s got too much whipped cream on her nose.” the same nose that now gets a lighter kiss, followed by her forehead and the top of her head until he’s smiling and trying for a, “deal?”

hyuna herself had told, on numerous occasions, on numerous platforms, that she did not cry for just anything. she wasn’t that emotional. that she sometimes was misunderstood for her bluntness, for how cool headed she was. for that last trait, maybe not so directly as such, but she can remember behind the cameras, how many people she’d had to make sure understood that she was just as she was. how many times she’d had to make sure that they knew, her stoniness was due to not knowing how to truly be without creating any misconceptions. because she hated more than anything, that they already had an image of her. 

she was stubborn in not wanting to undo it, or stubborn in wanting to undo it so badly that she ended up on a mission to show them that she was not everything that they wanted her to be. it was always one extreme or the other. it reflected so well in the work she did, in everything she wore, in everything she tried to say with a softer tone sometimes. sometimes. because other times, she’d learned it was better to be seen as brash rather than malleable. she’d learned to love the fact that they thought her double sided, whether negatively or not.

she’d built that, she’d cultured it, nourished it. she’d made them believe and herself, that she just wasn’t that easy to shake. and it worked wonders at times. it did. it really did. she’d shaken her own world and still stood here--or rather, lied down here--after all didn’t she? softened, closed lids, warm, tingling--nose scrunching under the touch of his lips. her own mouth curling on a smile when it moved to her forehead and she pursed those lips of hers because she wanted to answer, vocally. but her voice would falter she feared.

she knew, it would. then she’d be unmasked. not that she was afraid of that with soohyuk, not anymore. if she had to be honest, she’d never been afraid of that with him. truthfully, he’d jumped right past that brashness of hers as if it never existed, as if it just never had been there. as if she was still sixteen, with all the dreams in the world and all these open doors and windows for people to walk in and out as they wished. even when she begged them not to walk out on her. 

“this isn’t fair, because we both know my being angry at you never lasts anyways. this is like, playing chess for the first time with a genius and expecting me to win.” odd comparison, it made her laugh as soon as it was out. odd indeed. all of this was so odd and so rightly placed at the same time. she rose up, sat straighter, pushed her hair away from her face, felt the softness of it slide through her fingers. she yawned, glanced down at him and wondered if he knew all of her secrets as he held them. 

Joohyun’s eyes glittered upon reading the message. She couldn’t fight her smile either, for Hyuna had an undeniable talent of breaking down her walls.

kkt. - It’s an interesting thought. a friend of mine once told me that she looks the most beautiful in the photos taken by her husband. kkt.- they are photographs depicting her in every day life. When she brushes her teeth or combs her hair. When she drinks, eats, drives or gazes out of window.  kkt.- she believes that she looks most radiant in those pictures. kkt.- I have seen some of them and they are very genuine. Very beautiful indeed.

Smiling still, the woman leveled her gaze with the inky sky. Just like stars continued to twinkle, in Hyuna’s presence Joohyun continued to simply exist. Perhaps, she’s been wrong, perhaps, there were no walls for Hyuna to break in the first place. Nothing to unveil. Joohyun had come to her as she was.

I feel peace with this one, did Bali make you feel like that?

A little unsure how to answer, Joohyun’s mind went quiet. While in Bali, the woman did feel serene calmness, but wether it was the peace she sought, she could not yet confirm. In Bali, the time did not take, but rather gave. In Bali, she could venture to the top of the mountain and admire the stars by herself, for herself. 

It was certainly a nice feeling. However, all feelings were fleeting. She had to simply hold on to this one a little bit longer. Convince herself, a little bit longer. It’s always been so much easier to accept despair and so much harder to prolong the little joys in life. 

To Joohyun’s amusement, Hyuna’s picture spoke of the joy found in a coffee cup. 

kkt.- Is your coffee delicious? kkt.- Calmness is within me, yes. oh. I just remembered. You had a photoshoot in a Pineapple Country. Let me check your shooting locations. It’d be fun to reenact some of your poses! kkt.- I’d gladly sacrifice myself. But remember. You’ll owe me one. kkt.- In all seriousness… Have a good day. In case we won’t get to talk, I wish you a good night, as well. 

…

kkt.- It’s peaceful here. It truly is.

She read Seohyun’s responses as the day went on then, knowing that it might take awhile for her to even think about sitting down proper and give her own back. But that was the reality of this life, their lives. Even if Hyuna wasn’t certain these days, of where Seohyun’s life really stood. They were still in the same industry, still doing the same kind of profession, but in a way, Hyuna felt as if Seohyun had detached herself a bit more to the path she was taking. The path that Hyuna had, the solo act that she had to walk for the rest of her life seemed like everything to her. 

She’d found it unfair during the first few days, that everything seemed so flawlessly put together for others. Whereas if she was not Hyuna, if she did not have Cube, if she did not have her songs and her work and career, she felt as if she wouldn’t know who to be. She wouldn’t be much of who she was now. 

She’d felt that way countless times before, it still somewhat sat in the back of her mind. In moments like these, quite and uneventful, they were so few though and for that she was grateful. For the noise, the aching of limbs, the exhaustion of minds, as they worked and worked and barely rested before it was all but perfectly shaped to what she’d built. That night she saved Seohyun’s memorable picture and wished for thoughts to be banned for some sleep to recover from the depth of them. 

Then the morning, she took her time out her apartment, a coffee mug in her grip and leaned against her car to wait. Take in a few breath. Clear the fog of the morning before her mind lit with the reminder to reply, reply and she did hastily. Less with the heaviness of the last night. 

kkt - It always is! It’s even better when I make it which I did today.  kkt - Unnie, are you more of a coffee or tea person? 

As she asked that, Hyuna pondered on how little one could know about someone one still cherished and considered to be quite a big part of their life. 

kkt - Deal on owing you one, ask and you shall receive.  kkt - Are you there for work or on vacation? Either way it never really feel like work in that place right??  kkt - heol unnie, did you get to the reenactment? I want to see!!  kkt - hope I didn’t wake you, I have no idea how late or early it is there right now but you should try to catch the sun when it’s rising above the water? It’s amazing.  kkt - the good kind of cliche! 

💬[kkt.] You know me. I do. I always do. 💬[kkt.] I miss you too. If you’re in Seoul it’s morning for you. Good morning, Hyuna. The world has yet another day as a gift for you. Let me know how you’ll spend it. I’ll wait for pictures. 💬[kkt.] Can you guess where I am? [ attachement ]

Hyuna would love this place. The place where the palm trees swayed and the smell of a warm summer breeze awakened dormant senses. With that thought, the heat pushed in on Seohyun and perfumed air of Balian resort took her back in time. She remembered it clearly; that summery evening when all of her colors belonged to the setting sun.

As the minutes ticked by, similar picture began to form. Joohyun watched how the ball of light soaked in the cool water and how the oranges and purples transformed into the inky sky impregnated with stars. The woman smiled a small smile. For the first time in a long while she had not to worry about dividing her time. This particular evening, all of the time belonged toher.

Deep down she wondered. She wondered whether Hyuna had such a place too. The place where she could only gain and not lose.

Of Bali she had such fond memories. Of Bali she both loved and despised the heat, cherished the endless flourishing taste of its fruits, the blue of the sea she could only dip a toe in, the breeze of the night that would calm the scorching touch of their sun. But more importantly than anything else, of Bali she’d grown to love a fruit that’d turned itself into a symbolic part of her life and of the song she’d been filming two years ago. 

kkt - My pineapple country? 

But even with all of those remarkable and unforgettable traits that the country had held for her, the city had given her. She still had to cheat her way through researching Seohyun’s recent news to tell where she was. Her memory of it was from he ground after all, decent excuse absolutely, not from wherever it was that Seohyun had taken that shot. A gorgeous one. Hyuna felt both envious of it and very taken it by the sight. 

kkt - Someone once told me, the beauty of a picture, whether of a person, or a place, or anything at all, depends on how the photographer perceives it.  kkt - I feel peace with this one, did Bali make you feel like that? 

Now that the inquiry was put out. Now that she had gingerly saved the photograph for herself and she was ready to walk her way back to Cube HQ and get to the dancing studio before she’d start to be running late. Now she could quickly answer as to how her day was going. 

she wakes up to the birds and mumbles for the silence, despite the love she knows she has for the singing. she shuffles out of the sheets of her bed, with more whining than strength, despite the love she knows she has for stretching her limbs. there’s a hidden joy in waking up, good morning, the world has another day, the clock won’t stop ticking. routine awaits and hyuna is following, sluggish, her mind waking to every step within the walls of her apartment. good morning. have you heard of yesterday? it’s come and gone, yesterday, she brushed her teeth, she showered, she had breakfast. 

this morning, she finds her kitchen island first. her phone next. she ruffles her hair, hops atop of the counter, swings her legs and looks at her toes. she wiggles them and her bare thighs reminds her of hand prints that were there not too long ago. maybe too long ago. so long ago that they’re not here anymore, right? the coffee machine stops running, it’s time to act like she doesn’t prefer buying it out of a coffee shop. time to make herself a cup. 

no mornings is like every other mornings. good morning. have you seen the last cup of coffee she ever made? it’s somewhere in the dishwasher, she forgot to unload it, it was a task for yesterday. but today she’s rinsing her cup after a few sips, after scrolling through her phone. putting a phone call in. sending a few messages. taking a picture, looking sleepy. adding a caption. but deleting it before it can be posted. instagram can wait. 

but ‘good morning, good morning! rise and shine and remember to get a good jog in! for me and you so i don’t need to do it, much love.’ the send button sounds under her thumb. she smiles, never knows when he sees her messages. but he’ll see them eventually.

then her manager rings her again, ‘you forgot to tell me what flavour, for the pancakes?’ his voice is monotone, he’s not awake yet. it makes her laugh a bit, but she stifles a yawn, she takes the dishes out of the dishwasher. she places them back. as she paces, she tells him the flavour, then she adds onto the order. he grumbles a bit. it’s habit now. for him to complain, for her to demand more, for them to lightly banter.

the line between managing and being managed--it’s never existed, let’s not lie. 

it’s so easy going, this morning. yesterday, do you remember how rushed everything was? the lack of sleep, the eyebags, the unwashed hair, the rush to the studio. the rush back to the apartment. to shower, to get dressed. the drive to the airport. the flashes of the news cameras and the fans cameras, the no rest, no stop flight to japan.

then the first step out of the airplane and the beginning of yesterday now just a blinding memory. of polaroids, of cheers, of backstage shenanigans, of a shot or two at the end of the night, a flight back to korea. a bruise on her knee.

yesterday wasn’t just another passed day, yesterday was the end of a week. 

create an uwu version of your muse

I made two because I can--outfit is courtesy of one of her dance practice video during the triple h area, hair is her current style. Everything else is free style. 

      “comment reads, when will e’dawn oppa go back to brown hair? i see his roots, is this the beginning of a golden era.” first, hyojong has no business being where he is, which is a training room that he hasn’t been in, in a while. a while a while. since promotions ended a while. “this hair is the golden era…” that part is mumbled, not mumbled because he’s disturbing the person using the room but mumbled because it’s an afterthought. second, he’s got no business bothering his senior like this, but what else would he be doing if he wasn’t by her side when he didn’t need to be anywhere else. running into her accidentally, finding her still in practice rooms and throwing himself on the cushioned bench until he had to get out. third, it’s been half an hour with no sign of being thrown out so he stays. on his back and phone in his hand. he clears his throat, pats his chest a few good times for effect.

    “comment reads,” he raises his pitch just to make it all the more effective, “e’dawn oppa looks great in blonde hair. I think out of all the looks he was the best. hyuna noona looks like a gingersnap.” gasp! a gasp, forced down laughter. fourth, he really just likes the banter they get up to.

she doesn’t mind the company, hyuna will never mind the company. especially from certain people. but everyone must know by now, that when it comes to most if not all of the artists and staff belonging to her company--she always has time and she never minds their company. it’s never a bother. really, it isn’t. even if it’s breaking her focus going through the video she of the practice and what she needs to memorize from the dance routine. it’s going to be so hard for her friend later on, a dear friend and choreographer who takes her time to teach hyuna now and then. 

takes her time because god knows, hyuna’s a slow learner, the good thing is she doesn’t mind practicing until she’s better than better and better than just good. a habit taken and kept from the years of practice, of almost losing what she has now and working her way to getting it back and building it to the career she has now. everything requires work. right now, hyojong is more than interrupting that flow, he’s now laughing and he’s laughing at her expanse. or rather at the comment mocking her and that is the last straw. now she’s fixing him with a glare and she knows he must know what’s going to happen next if he doesn’t keep it quiet or if he doesn’t stop looking like he wants to get hit with the wrath of an offended woman. 

kkt - 🍎 [ nothing, no one. ] kkt - 🍎 [ wanna know another secret? my day hasn’t really started unless I see a message from you. ] kkt - 🍎 [ hyuna is only happy because her heart’s happy? ] kkt - 🍎 [ if i get it wrong do i get a really bad penalty? ] kkt - 🍎 [ need i remind you of the nickname you gave me? i think yours is a lot better than mine. plus nicknames are a lot of pressure. i’d need some time in that case. unless you have suggestions but that’s cheating. ] kkt - 🍎 [ though, you still get red like an apple miss hyuna ] kkt - 🍎 [ 원숭이 엉덩이는 빨개, 빨간 건 현아 현아는~ ]  

kkt - 🍎 [ i think it’s safe to say there was a delay in my judgement. or a - welcome distraction. ] kkt - 🍎 [ i think i end up with a better day when we understand each other, even though a red you seems like a good end as well. ] kkt - 🍎 [ i am happy when you’re happy so I can take this giving in easily. ] kkt - 🍎 [ we’re switching the blanks, so you get to come up with them now. ] kkt - 🍎 [ but i’ll gladly explain it if i have to, i take a little pride in knowing that your nickname still stands true. and well, hyunapple is my favorite one you know. ]