[holds a microphone out to you] tell me about your thoughts about akira right after the interrogation room and anything else related to it
So Akira had planned to get captured. But one thing he did NOT count on is how awful it was going to be. He was tortured. Beat and threatened and forced to sign a confession. They literally PUMPED him full of drugs. In my hc, it took a little bit for his physical wounds to heal. After all, they had beat the shit out of him. And he felt sick from the drugs for a few days as well.
Basically, he thought he was gonna be fine but he wasn't. Because it is very easy to say it won't be that bad. But it WAS. It was incredibly traumatic. He tries to play it off as no big deal, but he is incredibly fucked up about it. He has nightmares and some slight claustrophobia due to it. He also gets close to panicking if his arms are at all restrained now. And he has an INTENSE fear of needles now too. He will constantly dream about it and wake up terrified. He both underestimated how bad the police would be AND overestimated his own ability to deal with being more or less tortured for awhile. He does have a bit of an ego so he certainly thought he could handle it.
RIGHT AFTER, his head was super foggy. It didn't really register to him how bad it was because he was just so thankful to be out of there and for the plan to have worked. After meeting with everyone, he went upstairs and passed out. Like during the entire ordeal, he was constantly forcing himself to think of the plan. To trust the plan. But the drugs and the fear made him genuinely forget it at times. Like he just could not think straight. And he felt genuinely afraid of what the cops would do to him (like when they were gonna break his leg). He was really sick for a few days, as I said, from being so drugged up. And once his wounds healed, he put on a brave face about it. Like he does with everything.
But yeah, I would say at least 3 times a week after that he would wake up in a semi-panic and half expecting to still be there. He has a lot of fears he didn't have before that he has now. If anyone tries to bring it up, he'll try his hardest to sidestep the topic. The truth is that just thinking about it makes him feel sick. And anything that even slightly reminds him of it will trigger him into extreme anxiety.
Akira is the sort of person to NEVER let his true feelings show. If something hurts him or makes him feel weak, he won't show it. He ALWAYS tries to be in control of his image and presentation. So he doesn't really like to be exposed in any way ever. People see what he allows them to see. And while he really should talk about it at some point, he won't unless he has a legit breakdown with someone and can't dodge the topic anymore.
So yeah, thanks to that Akira developed a slight phobia of small/enclosed spaces, phobia of feeling trapped or being restrained, and an INTENSE phobia of needles. He also can't stand (once he gets older) to feel intoxicated ever because it slightly reminds him of being drugged.
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