the distance between us

anyway, what i want to say is that this blog will stay here. it’s always been a personal blog for myself even though sometimes i felt worried that since i posted such a variety of content that it kept people from following me, but really that number never meant that much. the important part is that the blog is my own history, my own story mainly through my college years that showed how my interests and i changed over time. 

and it is also so important to me because it holds a record of how i fell for kim jonghyun, such a beautiful soul who i will always keep with me. he felt like such a constant and such a comfort but he was human too, and he can and will be a comfort to myself and so many others although not in the same way we originally imagined and hoped. god i’ve been meaning to type a long post about him and put it up somewhere but this isn’t it yet, i know.

anyway, the main point is that this blog has mostly been inactive and will likely stay that way. i have over 41,000 liked posts that must mostly be of him and shinee and maybe i will continue to reblog posts of him and other dear pieces of myself on this particular blog but i don’t think tumblr will ever be the place where i engage in fandom very actively, mostly because it hasn’t been for a while and i think that it just doesn’t feel like home. i don’t know. maybe i’ll start another blog for newer posts someday. maybe i’ll only post him here when i am ready. i don’t know. right now i can’t imagine typing out those long tags screaming about how much i love him when we won’t get to see him again and that was always part of my intention for the times when i went through my likes and posted him because i really do love him. and that was my intention for so many of those posts i know i’ll be able to find even now in my likes. or maybe i won’t do anything with those likes although i like how i was able to keep things organized with even the most basic tags for labeling. i just don’t know. i keep my instagram in my links page and i added my twitter there just now just in case you want to find me. take care everyone. i will work to take care of myself too.