miyeyu's art blog!

commonly used tags:

#comics: comics

#21ge fic: fanart for "the 21 grams experiment" by kivaember, a fanfiction on Ao3 for the video game ULTRAKILL. (a subtag of this tag is #I love Uriel, which contains all my Urielslop

#miyeyu's screenshot studies: quick paintings of screenshots from a variety of sources.

#ffxiv: fanart of the MMORPG Final Fantasy 14.

#not my oc: me make a LOT of art of other people's OCs!

comic projects library:

the files have been prepared for printing into a physical book. this includes:

starting pages on the right-hand side

page counts for 12-page signatures

.125”/3.175mm of bleed

1”/2.54cm inner margin for ease of reading when pages are bound

spine width estimates: 1.25”/3.175cm (vol. 1); 1.5”/3.81cm (vol. 2)

about this project

after finishing GHD, I was thinking of binding it when I stumbled across @thetempleofmara’s original design, and I loved it so much - the font choices, the high fantasy style, the illustrations. the passion and sweat put into fanworks like GHD and mara's design has always been my inspiration.

as a designer, you never really make stuff for yourself that you personally like. I really wanted to design a book for my eyes, I wanted that challenge. I actually finished the typeset in a frenzy (~2 years ago), but this is my first time actually binding a book, so I worked on it off and on again until I actually got my shit together and actually finished it. I actually made 2 copies (4 books in total): a set to practice on, and the final product that you see here!

test-printing to check font sizes/spacing

after typesetting and testing, which took the bulk of the time spent on this, I printed mara's cover designs out onto paper and transferred it to the book cloth in gold foil using a foil quill. I wanted to do some custom spine designs, but at this point I was just so tired that I decided that, hey, done is better than perfect. and I really like how they turned out - I didn't expect them to be so heavy, though! xD

designer's log (warning: very long and rambly)

I did not do any editing of the original text such as spell-checking, save for deleting extra spaces and other small touches. to me, the small flaws are valuable, a visible mark of how the work was made.

I did my own typeset of the entire manuscript, removing dangling words at the beginning and end of paragraphs/pages. this makes the text much smoother to read.

all hyphens used for a pause in speech have been replaced with em-dashes (—). this is how it's done in traditional books, and my personal preference :P

in the table of contents, in keeping with the traditional, Eragon-esque high fantasy style of the book, the nsfw warnings appended to each chapter title have been changed to the fashionable and eminently stylish “dagger”.

the glossary now has a style guide. it's........... very long.

added a colophon, a traditional blurb at the back of the book that is basically about how it was made. including a colophon is a designerly sign that a lot of care and effort went into the book!

the body text is 11pt, which is on the larger side. but for a long text like GHD, I opted for a more comfortable and inviting reading experience.

changed the placement of many illustrations so they appear in the part of the story where they are mentioned.

here we have the first glimpse of non-smiley Uriel in my comics... remember how I said he looks rather unfriendly when he's not smiling? haha. in front of his oldest brother, he can just be himself. there's a little petty resentment, for how Lucifer doesn't have the time to spend with Uriel and the rest of the family, and how Lucifer takes all that time with Father to himself. a little bit of that teenager contrariness too.

so, Lucifer! I wanted him to be the opposite of the God we read about in-game in many ways - if God represents the cosmic horror of divinity, then Lucifer is the wonder and cosmic beauty of it. that's why he gazes benevolently at the small blue dot of Earth instead of the looming that the statue of God does. that's also why his hair is this beautiful white-starry night sky ombre, almost like the Milky Way!

I would have liked to include his unfurled wings in the piece, him being an angel and all, but the vision I had in my head didn't have a good way to include it without blocking a good part of the hair... chapter 41 of 21ge just made me think of this radiant, shining being standing in the darkness, someone who is so so precious, all the better to emphasize the tragedy that Ultrakill's world has fallen into. it also would have made the piece take upwards of 8 hours instead of 6, and I just don't have the stamina for that :(

this is the first time I've pushed on the limits of my stamina for a piece in a while LOL and at some point you just have to stop. I did only the briefest of sketching his design in my notebook before going to paint, so I still have to flesh out the smaller details, like what does his halo look like...

honestly, I was kinda scared people would think he looks too uhh... human? or feminine? (I didn't particularly have an idea for how masculine/feminine he is in my head, he's kinda androgynous but beautiful no matter what he looks like) and I would have liked to make him more non-human, it's just that all of my RAM was taken up by painting all that hair ;-; what I really picture is that he's very frail and almost emaciated, something that his wings, which are wrapped around him, cover up. because, as we all know, God's mercy didn't last for very long at all before he snapped and started constructing a living torture nexus for humanity.

here's what they all look like btw!

For those of you who have not read Homestuck - "classpecting" is analyzing a character to identify their role in the story ("class") and their core identity ("aspect") using the framework of Homestuck, which defines 14 classes and 12 aspects to describe people and their relation to the world around them. It's kind of like an extremely elaborate personality test.

Now, I know the other writeups were mostly about 21ge OCs, but I wouldn't say there's a significant difference between the God of canon and the God of 21ge, so let's just focus on the canon version.

First, let me clarify that Ultrakill's God is not exactly the same as the Catholic God - he is neither all-knowing, nor all-powerful, nor all-good. As described in the (Ultrakill) Testaments, he creates Hell and cannot unmake it. He unjustly throws Lucifer into Hell and regrets it. He is a pitiless authoritarian who, losing faith in humanity, sinks into apathy and wallows in regret.

In Ultrakill's narrative, God is the ultimate active character and the ultimate passive character. Everything that is, is because God created it. He once held nigh-absolute authority over the world, but (and this is a big but) in the story we play through, he's pretty much as good as dead. In fact, his absence is more keenly felt than his influence.

Is it any surprise, then, for him to be a Lord? Literally. He's known as the Lord. The ultimate active class, the progenitor; all of reality is his dominion by the very nature of his being. However, God's case is special - though he has the capacity for limitless potential, by the time V1 crashes Hell, he has thoroughly fallen to the worst version of himself. The phrase "The Father" brings to mind a loving, guiding figure (Bible stories prefer the metaphor of a shepherd and his flock), but God is anything but that. He lacks any faith in himself and his creations. He's selfish, vindictive, and petty. He resents humanity, but most of all, he resents himself. He gives up. He stares into the abyss.

You could say that he's gone off the deep end in every way.

Like, wow. I could not find a character more like Rose if I tried. Thus, God is one of those special players who has, in rejecting their true calling and bringing out the worst of themselves, inverted their role - he ghosts the Muse. Simply by not being there/being dead and not doing anything, he causes everything that happens in Ultrakill.

What is he a Lord/Muse of, then? As the literal creator of everything, you could argue that he is a Space or Life player. I'm especially inclined to agree with the Spacebound reading. But I'm of the mind that sometimes it's too easy get lost in the literalness of the aspects. Caliborn did not create Time; he simply exploited it for his own benefit during the events of Homestuck - it is the effects of his decisions that ring through the entire narrative.

God (in both Ultrakill and in the practice of Catholicism) is not important to people because it's on his resume that he created the universe, God is important because of the faith and devotion he inspires.

What does the Ferryman say when Gabriel (who is literally described as an extension of God's will) saves him (it? them??)?

His gentle words eased the pain and mended my wounds. My face wet with tears of relief, my words muffled by the weight of my duty. I could only lay in reverence, carried in the embrace of majesty.

What do the Sisyphean Insurrectionists say when God disappears, causing the angels enforcing their punishment to leave?

All can see how [Heaven has] robbed us of our minds, bodies, and souls, leaving us only the hopes of a salvation that will never come, but no longer.

What do countless psalms and Bible verses and gospel songs talk about, over and over and over (and over and over)?

Deuteronomy 31:6 - "Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you."

Romans 15:13 - "May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit."

Jeremiah 29:11 - “For I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

Amazing Grace (1779) The Lord has promised good to me, his word my hope secures; he will my shield and portion be as long as life endures.

Ok I think I've beaten this horse enough...

While Homestuck's "goal" is the creation of a new universe, Ultrakill's goal is to pose the question of whether existence holds meaning, whether other people define it for you or religion gives it to you or you define it for yourself. I could analyze the entire game and break down every interaction in this lens, but I'll save that for another day because we're still classpecting God here.

Hope is associated with religion, angels, order, the unlimited potential of the way that things could be. Rage is its opposite - the questioning of beliefs and the system, resentment, despair, the raging against the way things are. (If any of this is reminding you of Gabriel, good! As a Hope player, God passes his aspect down to his specialest little boy. I wrote a whole classpect thing for Gabriel too, go read that if you haven't yet.)

Salvation and damnation, hope and despair; these are the things that good little Ultrakill characters, and especially God, are made of.

As a Lord of Hope, God should have held absolute command over faith and is the one who everybody looks up to for salvation. Well - he would be, as the font of all creation and at his fullest potential, but he's long since rejected hope and his ability to change things for the better. He has taken on the traits of a Muse of Rage, with his absence inspiring all the events seen in Ultrakill: an apocalypse of violence, despair, and suffering - a samsara of cut sinew and crushed bone.

I almost exclusively read romance shoujo, which I enjoy the most, but I cannot say anything but good things about Cardcaptor Sakura. it blended amazing music in the anime, whimsical slice of life stories, a stunningly creative magic system, and nuance in its lore and plot that other villain-of-the-week shoujo could only dream of. it has villains that aren't cartoonishly evil, with strong characterization and convictions. it doesn't sexualize sakura! it lets her be a silly young girl! it's got a whole cast of supporting characters that all have such personality - even the CARDS have personality! it even has romance but sakura doesn't get her iq lowered to 5 in the process! it's just so unlike other shoujo in the best of ways.

now, as a romance shoujo connoisseur (though I don't watch/read much of it these days), I've read all the popular ones and then some, so I'm naturally a little more picky. and I started realizing how problematic a lot of them were as I grew up lmao but! Last Game checks all my boxes as a great romance shoujo - a calm, competent heroine, a simple, cute, clean art style, and my favorite classic and fun prince-and-pauper, rivals-to-lovers dynamic. a lot of shoujo just love to put the male lead in a position of control over the female lead, whether through blackmail or greater maturity (often sexual) or magic power or just having the girl be a blubbering infant, but in Last Game, it's the male lead who has to get over his immaturity to understand the female lead. it's a classic premise executed really well, and it's a satisfying and light read.

they were so inspiring, I even made a small fancomic for them :3c oh and this joke comic I don't think I've ever posted here:

like most forum rps though, it's currently on what I would call indefinite hiatus. we're currently doing a more casual tavern rp where our characters just sit and chat...

a snippet from one of the posts of the main rp:

Look at what you've done this time.

Do you ever feel shame for the things you do? The people you hurt?

On the wind, wood-smoke and lavender; magic and old rot. Kit listened silently as Rok and Avala laid out a plan of attack, offering tips on how best to evade the Justiciar contingent and making sarcastic quips like always, but now that the reality of the army was hitting her, she had gone numb on the inside. It wasn't a bad plan. Maybe everybody would even make it out alive.

So run away, little fox. Run like you always do after messing people's lives up, retreat into your money and your apathy. One day you will forget the heartache anyways.

Hmph. The others were idiots if they thought she'd stay and play hero; she couldn't believe she'd fooled them this long. This place was obviously doomed. It would be easy as breathing - smash the necklace, give Avala the slip, and she could be on her way to the other side of the Sword Coast before they even knew she was gone -

But then Rok smiled at her. In his eyes, though darkest darkness surrounded them, she glimpsed a light.

"For... me?" she felt herself ask, not daring to touch the uncut gemstone at first. "No, you can't... I can't - you can't do this." Because I'm not meant to be a wizard. Because you don't even know me. "I won't..."