I'm getting mixed signals, here...

I’ve been working a LOT of overtime, but I’m currently STILL about $350 short in terms of what I’d need to cover our rent and utilities.

For those of you who don’t know me, hi. I’m a 29-year old, mentally ill NB living with my disabled wife and two cats. 

The past few months have been incredibly rough. Our van was totaled in a hit and run while it was parked - which our insurance didn’t cover.  We took out a personal loan to buy a replacement, only to find that the transmission, suspension, alternator and electrical systems were all failing - held together by the equivalent of angel farts and duct tape. 

(Fun Fact: Lemon laws in TX don’t apply to used cars! )

On top of everything else, our stimulus checks haven’t showed up, and our bank has basically said “you’ll get ‘em sometime lol we dunno.”

At the moment, we’re about $250 short on our rent, not to mention we’re behind on bills, and haven’t been able to afford any of the car repairs, or my wife’s meds, which makes all of this even harder to deal with! (My wife’s only form of income is via app-based gig work that needs her to have a working car.)

TL;DR: We are in an incredibly bad situation, money-wise. Our rent check just bounced, my wife can’t earn any money, and our car is currently unsafe to drive.

If anyone can help out, or even just signal boost this, it’d be a massive help. Our current goal would be around $400 or so to cover some basic bills and the rent, but honestly, even a few extra dollars would be a relief. 

My PayPal email is [email protected] . I’ve also get a Venmo, which is @Kidd-Bowyer. 

I lost my job near the beginning of May, and while I’ve got a new job, it won’t start until July 9th.

I lost my job near the beginning of May, and while I’ve got a new job, it won’t start until July 9th.

So, the sudden cancellation of basically every con we’re booked at for the next few months has left us in a serious bind. 

Thanks to COVID-19, my hours are getting cut, my convention appearances are getting cancelled, and my wife’s ability to earn money via Instacart is severely impacted.

Everyone who is reading this: I’m so glad you’re alive. I’m so proud of you. You are loved. I’m here. Don’t give up, we’re almost there.

I’m not an idiot.

I knew more than anything that deciding to go to art school was a dumb idea. Which is why I applied to 40 schools, both liberal arts and universities and art schools. And I got in to about 30 of them. I applied to every scholarship, filled out every form, spent the entire summer before my senior year working on my essays and common applications and studying until I finally got a 30 on my ACT. Because to me, college isn’t just the next step in life. Art school isn’t just a dream. It’s an opportunity to break out of the cycle of poverty that my family has been stuck in for generations, to overcome the scars of the foster care system, to prove to myself that I was good enough. College was my way out. And I got accepted into 30 of the schools I applied to, with different scholarships and financial aid packages and even after all my hard work, I still couldn’t believe it. I got into SCAD, Ringling, Columbia, CALARTS, CCO, and RISD. And out of all the schools, I had never felt more relieved or lucky when RISD sent me my financial aid letter, and it was a full ride scholarship.

All the other schools offered me scholarships, but RISD was my only full ride. So I took it immediately, overjoyed, because I had wanted so baldy to go to RISD and now I actually could.

But I can’t go.

Because my scholarship didn’t cover room and board, something I overlooked in my excitement. And room and board is about $10,000 per semester.

I have been calling and emailing and skyping people from the school nonstop for weeks, switching to the cheapest dorm and getting multiple roomates and working my ass off to try and pay for these impending costs. And I thought I had managed to do it: Finally, after everything, with a payment plan and insurance waiver and sleepless, anxious nights, I got down to about $7,500 a semester. With the money I had saved and been gifted from my Grandfather and outside scholarships, I thought I’d be able to make my first payment, immediately get a night shift job at a fast food restaurant near campus that was open 24 hours, and be able to JUST make it in terms of the money I owed for room and board.

But again, no. It wasn’t enough. It’s still not enough. And that’s the problem: It’s never going to be enough. I just had to use up half the money I had saved on emergency expenses so that my family wouldn’t lose our home, and I feel like dying. I would have to pay off about $1,500 every 3 weeks all year, which means working at least 8 hours full time every day including weekends, minimum wage, and still attending classes full time and not dropping below a certain grade point for fear of my scholarship being revoked. And even then I don’t think It would be enough. I have a full ride scholarship, and college is still too expensive for me.

I have submitted an appeal to live off campus in a last ditch effort to go to school, but it’s mandatory for freshmen to live on campus unless they’re 21 (I’m NOT.) or have family that live close. (Nope.) And even then, it’s strongly discouraged. They rarely, if ever, allow you to live off campus. The cheapest possible living option for me is 45 minutes away in a 1 bedroom place. And I’m more than willing to live there if it means I can go to school, I don’t have a car so I’ll have to take the bus or walk 45 minutes everyday (which I’m willing to do,) so I’m just praying that they read my appeal and let me. Because this is my last chance. This is my shot. This is my dream on the line.

I feel like I haven’t slept in months, and I won’t sleep until probably next year. But I’m going to keep trying.

If you want to help me pay for this boarding tuition, my paypal is [email protected].

I also made a GoFundMe right here:

https://www.gofundme.com/f/my-full-ride-scholarship-doesn039t-cover-boarding

 I take commissions, I make buttons, I will sell my paintings, anything. Thank you for taking the time to read this.

HEY GUYS! Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU for all the support and love you’ve shown me in my struggle. I’m happy to announce that $800 has been raised! I feel like I could cry, I’m so grateful and overwhelmed. (I actually broke down in tears at work today while a poor woman was confusingly trying to buy a mountain dew.) 

While this is good news, sadly I have bad news as well: My apeal to live in an apartment off campus was shut down completley by the administration. The only thing that kept me going was the fact that so many of you care, and have been so eager to help me. Everything you do counts, and every bit of love and support means more to me than I could ever convey. Please please keep this momentum going! I’ve started applying to jobs near RISD so that when I move there, I can start working right away! Please continue to reblog this post, to commission me, and to send me support! Thank you!

Here’s the link for anyone new:

(Note: this is out of genuine curiosity because I’ve always been drawn to ancient Greek gods but told that they’re just folk tales representative of an ancient culture’s values/ways to explain what they didn’t know, and nothing more)