Meanwhile, in West Allis

Meanwhile, in West Allis...

It was around 3:30pm on a Thursday afternoon. Returning to my office to finish up the day I find myself in Stallis. As I'm slowing down for the red light in front of me I notice the minivan ahead of me, jam packed with at least 7 people, starts swerving and slams on the brakes well ahead of the stoplight. A woman jumps out screaming, "You little motherfuckers!". I now notice the passengers appear to be kids ranging from teens to grade schoolers. The woman angrily slides the side door and proceeds to shake the ever loving shit out of at least two of the kids. No punches or slaps but serious shaking. The rest of the kids press themselves against the other side of the van. The whole van is shaking back and forth. The rest of us commuters look at each other and come to the same realization. One: Fucking West Allis... and Two: We have witnessed the classic stereotypical parent threat, "Don't make me pull the car over and come back there!". The woman jumps back in the front seat and speeds off going through the red light. The light turns green and we all sit there for a second or two collecting our thoughts. That was enough Stallis for the day...

Meanwhile, in West Allis...

Meanwhile, in West Allis...

So I'm enjoying a Jack and Coke with a lady friend at a bar in Stallis aka The Durty Durty. Her choice not mine! All is going well until she leaves to use the bathroom. I notice two dudebros giggling and pointing. Naturally I move my gaze to what they're pointing at. At the main bar next to a video poker machine a guy is chest to chest with his wife/girlfriend/hookup and is fingering her cootch. Dear lord! At least he was doing it over her jeans and not down them playing doctor with her meat flaps. Couldn't believe it. Right in front of everybody on a Saturday night. I finish my drink tell my lady friend were going somewhere else. She was about to protest until she saw the fingering of Miss Congeniality. Fucking Stallis...

Meanwhile, in West Allis...

A few weeks ago I received a notice from the West Allis Police Department that a sex offender was moving into the area and that a town hall meeting was going to take place. I was eager to attend as I expected a freakshow and mob mentality blow out. Don't get me wrong, I loathe pedophiles but being in the social work field I understand the situation in supervising and handling cases such as this. So I arrive and fifteen minutes til the start of the meeting there are more cops than citizens. What the fuck?! The meeting starts with a spare audience in attendance. Typical talking heads on a dais stuff. One of the detectives had the Det. Olivia Benson look going on so that was cool. In a brilliant move the organizers gave the audience index cards to write down their questions and hand them over to the panel. The panel members would then read the question and provide the best answers they could. This totally sucked out the fire and brimstone out of the audience. Well played West Allis. However, the line of the night goes to the West Allis Police Chief. During the question and answer period the chief told us that by all means we should report suspicious activity and that the sex offender could not be in parks and by schools and that should be reported. After looking at another card and discussing it amongst the panel quietly the chief came back to the podium and stated, "To clarify...it is not illegal to be creepy."  I died. Welcome to Stallis. "Its not illegal to be creepy". lol

So Im at Walgreens waiting patiently in line. A lady and her kid are at the counter, a man is behind them and I and another lady holding down the end. Pretty mundane when all of a sudden the man loudly pipes up. "Hey kid! You just gonna writer all over the counter with that pen? And you (directed at the mom) just gonna let him do that?" Awkward silence fills the air. Everyone but the guy just stand still. The boy starts to move and the guy chimes in again. "So you're just gonna keep on writing huh?" The kid stops, the mom pays her bill quickly and leaves the store. As duder moves to the counter he tells the clerk, "Sorry about that. But whenever I see kids behave badly someone's gotta say something *mumble mumble Murica*...know what I mean?" The clerk, god bless her, shrugs her shoulders and says, "Hey man. I just work here..." Dude storms off. Christ, the kid was using a ballpoint pen to scribble on the laminated counter. No big deal except to dude who was fighting the good fight against little kids with pens. Totally awkward and unnecessary. Fucking Stallis...

Found out today in the news that a former West Allis cop was arrested for a double murder in another town. First reaction? Milwaukee you got some competition. Fuuuuuuck! lol

Meanwhile, in West Allis...

Meanwhile, in West Allis... Things get serious at karaoke at Burnham Bowl.

Meanwhile, in West Allis...

Meanwhile, in West Allis...

So I'm driving back to the office from an appointment in the field. I stop at what's got to be the epicenter of Dirty Stallis. 60th and Greenfield. As I'm waiting for the light to change I see two girls no older than 18 run out a house and wait at the corner. They're wearing booty shorts, tanks and wedges the size of freight trains. Alternating between typing on their cell phones and making loud small talk they pace back and forth. A pick up truck roars up to them. They jump in and peel off as my light turns green. As the truck passes I wonder to myself, "Hmm, will the truck have novelty mudflaps or rubber testicles hanging below the trailer hitch. It was the latter. I head into West Milwaukee and to freedom. Fuggin' Stallis.

Meanwhile, in West Allis...

Meanwhile, in West Allis...