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@mistergrishby

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August 26, 2016 a phone call required my attendance to the clinic. I drove there in Alex, my white Pontiac G6 GT. I knew what had happened because I acted it out in the hallway of the home I grew up in. I arrived to the clinic where I signed in and my name was called: Jay, come with me. I followed the nurse to the back and I was escorted to an office. You tested positive for HIV, she said. No outward reaction from me; I chose to look into her eyes as she recited my results so I could feel and receive the moment for the reality it was offering. I specifically remember the woman doctor leaning across the desk stretching her palms faced down towards me as she asked: are you depressed? I answered no. I was going to wait until August 26th came around again, though it feels relieving to come into the light. I’ve awaited this day. I’ve awaited for the confidence and the grit to live a shameless, wholesome life. Today that life begins. Cheers to 8, which represents infinity. The secret that has crippled me is now the wind beneath my wings. Dear Jay Webster Grishby, Jr. Shall we soar pass the heavens, beyond the universe? We shall, my good sir, we shall. Oh and lastly, I usually post my documentations in black and white; however, this had to be in living color. To truth, to honesty, to courage, to love, to acceptance, to value, to resilience, to reality, and to the life I deserve to live; cheers to reclaiming all the things. (Superstar stance accompanied with a big light show, sound effects, and a dramatic curtain close, the curtains are lavender with a suede like velvet texture). And scene. 🎬
01062022
Allow yourself space for grace

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EXTRA EXTRA READ ALL ABOUT IT
They say
Lying on my back with a foreign laptop across my upper thighs; my back supported by two lush pillows, covered in white linen - my favorite bonnet on my head. Moonchild playing in the air, Voyager the album. I AM running away, once again. I became emotional after typing “once again.” I vowed (vowed to be a “reach” as the black community says) to not reach this place/space again; though, here I AM.. once again. “Grishby, I love you; however many times it takes - I just want YOU to get it right,” a voice in my head. Dear GOD, I know I have a lot to give. I know I owe a tremendous amount of myself to this world. I promise to share, I just have to find the strength; Appearing to be strong has worked for this long - though I really, truly want to be strong. I appreciate everything you’ve done in my life. There are things that I need undone, though you’ve shown me that bruises are the beauty of our past. My bruises are internal.. tucked away neatly and deeply. Do I really have to share that part, THAT PART?
They say

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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🌱
Emotions are here to remind us that we are in control. 🌱
Self,
What are you doing? What are you doing with your life? What are your goals? Short term? Long term? Why are you unhappy? What are you doing to fix that? What is self-love to you? How do you implement self-love? Daily? Weekly? Monthly? Yearly?
Thinking of you 💚

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming