Part 2 of Do You Love Me?
Warnings : angst + angsty fluff??, insinuations of sex, smoking, mentions of alcohol and drinking, mentions of cheating (TW)
Summary : 2 months after your breakup with Calum, he realises the consequences of his actions and tries to make amends but he’s a little too late.
Requested : yes by anon 1 : Is it possible to do a part 2 where he realizes his feelings for the other woman dont travel beyond curiosity but then when he comes back for y/n she’s already found someone else? And anon 2 : PART 2 TO DO YOU LOVE ME WHEN HE REALISES HES A PIECE OF SHIT PLEASE
A/N : I had to change it up a little as always, but you’ll love it, promise!!
Taglist : @lurhemmings @nostalgia-luke @sainthoodcalum @cxddlyash @shot-of-truth @mxre-calum @rosecth @rexorangecouny @irwinsvalentine @uncrownedqueeen @missunderst-hood
Calum woke up to the feeling of bare skin brushing against his and the soft feelings of lips on his cheek. He opened his eyes to meet the gaze of another, smiling down at him. His vision of her was still blur when he moved his hands down her back and onto her ass, and it became clear after he blinked twice. Her features came into view and the first thing he saw were her eyes, a dark shade of green and the freckles on her cheekbones.
“Good morning, handsome,” she said and he broke into a smile at her words.
“Good morning,” he responded and gave her ass a gentle squeeze. “Did you sleep well?” He asked and rolled over to his side, causing the girl in his arms to fall next to him in a soft thud on the bed.
“I did,” she hummed but her smile faltered after a few seconds.
“What is it?” Calum questioned and pulled her close by her waist.
“My flight is in 4 hours,” she said, dissapointed. Her fingers lazily ran through the locks above his forehead. “Can’t believe the week went by like that,”
Calum tensed at her actions. The hand that was rubbing circles on her back froze and his mind immediately filled with the image of you laying in bed next to him, smiling sleepily and running your fingers through his curly fringe, just like this other girl was doing at this time. He remembered the mornings of silence he spent with you where you two would face each other, admiring the features adorning your faces and how your hand would instinctively reach out to his hair.
“Thank you so much for flying me out to LA to visit you Calum,” she said and leaned in to kiss him. Calum blinked back into reality and pulled away from her touch. An immediate look of confusion plastered all over her face. “What’s wrong?”
“Oh…it’s just I haven’t brushed my teeth yet,” he faked laugh and she smiled and shook her head at what she saw to be silliness. Calum then proceeded to sit up on the bed and put on a pair of boxers that was lying on the floor from the night before. He stood up and walked to the bathroom, feeling her eyes on his back the whole way. He shut the door behind him and locked it. After he brushed his teeth, Calum gripped the edges of the sink and ducked his head, breathing out a sigh. When he exited the bathroom, he saw her hold up his blue button up flannel.
“Calum, is it okay if I wear this?”
Calum stood, leaning on the door frame of the kitchen watching you do a little dance as you made breakfast in his blue flannel. Rumour Has It by Adele was playing from your phone speakers his mouth broke out into a big grin watching you dramatically singing to the bridge. As the song approached the last chorus he made his way over to you, unbeknownst to you.
“Rumour has it!” Calum sang with you and you jumped in shock and let out a “oh my God” in surprise. He laughed and walked over to lower the volume on your phone. When he turned back, you were playfully glaring at him - who was still laughing. “Oh, I’m sorry, did I scare you, _______?” He teased and you rolled your eyes.
“Where did you find that shirt?” Calum asked her, taking a few steps towards her.
“Oh I found it in your cupboard and it doesn’t look like it still fits you so I was wondering if I could wear it?”
Calum walked into your shared bedroom, the afternoon after you left. His feet and heart felt heavy. His stomach was churning with guilt and he felt like crying but he was far from tears. His eyes scanned the now half empty room that was once, full of life and love. The space surrounded by the four walls that held the all the secrets between you two. His gaze landed on a piece of blue fabric at the end of the bed. He walked closer to it and picked it up with his hands. It was his blue flannel. You used to wear it to sleep every night, even when Calum was around. He always thought you looked wonderful in it. He brought it up to his nose and his heart sank at the smell of you that was still fresh. You had worn it just the night before, when you and Calum broke up. A tear slipped from his cheek at the realisation that it was less than 12 hours ago. He had never seen anyone look so crushed before. He never wanted to hurt you this way. He carefully folded the shirt and placed it under some clothes in the cupboard, so he wouldn’t see it and remember how he broke your heart and how much he hated himself for it.
“No, I’m sorry, you can’t wear it,” he took the shirt from her hands and placed it back in the cupboard, giving it a lingering gaze.
“Oh…um I’ll wear something else then,” she brushed it off and wore one of her own shirts instead.
“Do you want me to make you breakfast? I make a killer omelette,” Calum winked, pushing the thought of you as far back into his mind as he could.
“I actually don’t like eggs,” she laughed. “Thank you though. I’ll just eat some cereal or something,” she added.
Calum came home to an empty house after dropping his girlfriend, well, ex-girlfriend off at the airport. He sat on the couch and ran his fingers through his hair multiple times before frustratingly pulling off his t-shirt and tossing it on the floor.
“Why do I keep thinking of her?” He thought and lighted a cigarette, placing it between his lips leaning back on the couch as the smoke escaped his mouth in a grey cloud. You hated when he smoked, especially indoors. “I’m sorry, ___________” he mumbled and took another puff.
Calum parked in the airport parking lot and tapped his fingers on the steering wheel nervously as he sighed.
“Are you okay?” She asked from beside him, placing her hand on his shoulder. Calum took her hands gently.
“I think we need to talk…,” he started, watching her expression changed. “I had a great week with you but…,”
“You don’t think it’s going to work out?” She finished the sentence for him. Calum looked away from her eyes and at the pair of hands he was holding. He didn’t know what to say next.
“I’m sorry…” was all he managed to choke out. She pulled her hands apart and tilted his chin up to look at her.
“There’s no need to apologise, Calum. I am a bit disappointed but sometimes you can’t force feelings to be felt when they don’t demand to. I’m sorry too,” she said quickly but gently. She pulled her hands away and offered one last smile to him, who stared back, absorbing her words. “For what it’s worth though..,” she added, picking up her bag. “The last one and a half months we had were really fun,” she leaned in for a final embrace which Calum returned in content. “Take care, Cal” she said and exited the car, getting the luggage from the booth and walking away.
The sound of wall clock ticking and Calum’s soft, shallow breathing seemed so loud in the emptiness of his house. 2 beer bottles lay on the floor next to the couch along with papers filled with his messy handwriting, crumpled into balls. His guitar was placed lazily in his lap as he strummed random chords.
“I’m so stupid…,” he sighed out and placed the guitar on the floor. He lay back on the couch, covering his eyes with his forearm and allowing his memories of you to consume his mind.
He remembered the way you would wake up in the middle of the night to the sound of his keyboard and make two cups of coffee, sitting with him as he wrote songs. You would give your opinions and ideas and sometime into the AM, you would fall asleep on the table. He would carry you to bed and place a kiss on your forehead but before he could leave you, you would drag him to bed sleepily.
“Sleep,” you’d say, barely keeping your eyes open and Calum would oblige climbing into bed next to you and holding you close.
He got up from the couch and grabbed his t-shirt from the floor, tossing it on and walking to the front door where he left his shoes. He slipped them on, took his keys and phone from the table and exited his house, locking the door behind him.
You were sat on Calum’s car, his arm securely around your shoulders. You two were facing the sun that had just started to set. He turned to look at you, the orange hue giving your face a gentle glow. You were talking about something that happened at work but he paid more attention to the way your lips moved and the sound of your voice. He reached over and gently turned your head to him. You had barely hummed in response before he pressed his lips to yours in a passionate and loving kiss. You kissed him back and sank into his touch. When you pulled apart, Calum smiled.
He stopped in front of your house. He had made an assumption, hoping you still lived there and sighed in relief when he saw your car. He stepped out and made his way to your front door. He stood in front of it for a little while, debating and contemplating his actions in his mind. He clenched his fist and held it inches away from the door. He pictured your reaction, opening the door to see him. He wondered if you would forgive him. He wondered if you would take him back, if he begged hard enough. “I can’t beg you to love me. It isn’t fair to you and it isn’t fair to myself…” He remembered the pained expression on your face the night you broke up and made a silent promise to himself that he’ll never make you feel that way ever again and do everything he can to get it right as he stood in front of your door. He knocked thrice and dropped his hand to his side, placing the both of them in his pockets immediately to stop them from shaking. He stared at his feet and felt his heart pounding in his ears. The door opened and he looked up to meet the eyes of someone that wasn’t you.
“May I help you?” He asked. Calum’s heart sank. Had you already found someone new this quickly?
“Yes, um.. can I speak to ________ please?” He asked, trying to keep his voice steady. As if on cue, you appeared next to your boyfriend.
“Who’s at the door, ba- oh” you froze, seeing Calum standing there. You never thought you’d see him again and you never expected to. And above all, you definitely didn’t want to. Because you knew if you did, you’d be reminded of everything that ruined your relationship. You stared at him. He looked horrible. His hair was messy and his eyes were dull and lifeless. He searched your gaze for any signs that told him you were happy to see him but all there was were surprise and pain. Those pained eyes, he still remembered.
“Yeah, he says he wants to talk to you, do you know him?” Your boyfriend, asked and you blinked yourself back into the current moment.
“Yes I do. Could you give us a minute please?” You looked up at him and placed a hand on his arm, giving him a nod and smile. Your boyfriend gave Calum a long, skeptical look before retreating back into your house as you stepped out, closing the door behind you. You and Calum looked at each other, without saying anything, both of you processing the reality.
“Hi,” he breathed out after a while.
“Hi,” you said back, still unable to fathom that Calum was standing in front of you.
“Is that your boyfriend?” He asked and you nodded, not being able to say “yes”, seeing the expression on his face. “How long have you been together?”
“About a month,” you avoided his eyes. Those brown eyes you loved so much.
Calum’s heart sank. He expected a lot of different scenarios but the idea of you moving on had been the last thing on his mind. He wanted you to be happy, more than ever but somehow he wished you stayed hurt until he realised his mistakes. At the same time, he knew you deserved better. You deserved someone who would never lie to you and never hurt you, the way he did.
“Are you happy with him?” He asked, taking a step towards you. Does he make you happier than I did?
“Why are you here?” You responded, finally looking at him. He didn’t answer and repeated his question.
“Tell me, __________. Are you happy with him?” Do you miss me? Tears started to form in his eyes and you took a deep breath, biting the inside of your lip.
“Why do you want to know? You have no right being here, Calum. What are you trying to do?” You asked, scrunching your eyebrows in frustration.
“Because I still love you!” He exclaimed and your expression changed to one of shock. “I know I shouldn’t be here telling you this, after what I did and I know I was dick. I was an asshole. I’m a piece of shit I know but every single vein in my body hurts with guilt, __________, I love you and I’m sorry,” the tears started flowing down his cheeks. He wiped them away and stared into your eyes, that was now glossing over with your own tears.
“I-” you started to say but he cut you off.
“Please say you still love me too. Please tell me that I can still fix this,” he begged and your heart broke remembering the words you told him that night, “I’m sorry that you fell out of love with me. I’m sorry you don’t love me anymore…"I can’t change that..” Calum grabbed your hand. Please, ________, what can I do?
“Calum…” you called. “I think…you should go” There’s nothing else you can do. “There wasn’t a day that passed since we broke up that I didn’t love you but you hurt me. You lied to me, Calum and I can never forget that. There’s nothing you can do to make me trust you again,” you said and wiped away the tear that escaped your eye. Calum stared at you in utter disbelief and pain but after a few seconds his closed his eyes and took a deep breath. When he opened them again, he wiped his face with his hand.
“If this makes you happy, _________, I have to live with that but I’m really and truly sorry for all that I did,” he said and turned to walk to his car. You watched as he started the engine and drove away without sparing a last glance at you, just like how you did before.
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