Q.

I’ve seen lesser efforts– during my parents’ divorce, I distinctly remember my mother’s aim improving in regards to how well vases were aimed at my father’s head during some of their more colorful fights.  Everyone’s got something, right?

Oh come on.  It’s basic math– they should be able to add and subtract without their phones by now.  It wasn’t like I made them do it in pen– I should have, but I didn’t.  Consoling?  Ha, not quite.  I did give her her cell back after class though, so I suppose that was somewhat comforting of me.  Glad to see you in a better mood though.  Apparently not enough of yours are on the brink of tears, Ms. Fabray?  What are you teaching them in that class of yours?

Yikes. No vase throwing in my household. I don’t hate him. I just wish he was around more. Or that he’d check in before showing up. But you’re now wrong, everyone’s got something. 

I don’t think I have ever settled for the first thing I find of anything. As for the ride to work, I am doing okay walking to work. But thank you. And I will keep it in mind about you offering in case I change my mind one day.

Working on your summer bod, Finn? I can respect that. But the offer still stands, if you do change your mind. 

No worries, Q– just glad you and Luce are still alive and gorgeous.  Plus, the best thing about birthdays is that you can arguably celebrate them whenever you want.  I mean, it’s not like there’s an expiration date for having fun, right?  So you let me know what you want to get up too, shenanigans-wise, and we’ll put something on the books for sure.  Maybe we can stop by for the early bird special at BreadstiX and you can watch me gum my soup?  Yes, I was amazed by the number on the cake myself– surprised I didn’t pass out blowing out the candles, honestly.  

Yeah?  Well, don’t tell Blaine– for some reason, he doesn’t think I should be allowed the privilege of my cane anymore.  Oh, and don’t ask him about any potential bruises he may have from the party– totally inconsequential to the subject matter at hand.

Well, to be fair we would make gorgeous corpses, but I’m glad too. 

I think so too. Time is an illusion anyway, right? And there’s never a wrong time to celebrate a friend. I’m down for dinner -- do you think they’ll give us all the senior’s discount? Luce thinks we should hit the stables. I think we should spend a day indulging in all the things you’re still young enough to do?

That sounds fake, Brody, but I’m going to let it slide. Because if there is any lesson I’ve retained from my parents it’s to respect one’s elders. 

At the moment no, but I will definitely work on that for you!

Well, I hope that it settles out soon. I’m sorry that he gave you such an unexpected visit.

Thanks, you’re the best. I’m positive the internet will thank you as well. 

I most certainly do have some. I made some for Tuesday, but can always fry up more, if you missed them.

I mean, I won’t say no. It’s my personal belief one can never have too many deep fried desserts. 

No, he’s terrible. I don’t know - he was having an off night? Personally, I’m not sure if he’s ever bagged anything higher.

And what makes you say that?

“Lucy’s Dad”– that sounds like an amicable relationship right there.  Um, let’s see…a good story…

My first period managed to prove they weren’t complete idiots by mastering the art of simple math in balancing a checkbook?  Well, most of them– I had girl crying by the bell because I told her she couldn’t use a calculator.  Although that was kind of amusing too, if I’m being truthful.

Oh, sorry, was my utter contempt showing? Whoops. 

Thank god she emerges…Thought I was going to have to send a search party after you, Q.  You missed my birthday!

Lots of good news on my front: my Reds are on fire this season, my Aggies are revved up for their events, and I’m not dead at my age!  All good things, I like to think.  In fact, I’m apparently not dead enough to go out for ice cream on my birthday.  I guess I should be grateful it finally stopped snowing for now.

Speaking of my birthday, apparently Cane Fighting is also not going to become the cool new trend, even though I thought it went over well at the party.  A little unfortunate, but sometimes one bad egg ruins things for everyone, right?  Lucy would understand my pain on that front, I think.

I know, I know -- I’m sorry, honestly. I’ve been slacking in the friend department. I know I have the tendency to retreat when things get stressful, not one of my more attractive traits, but seeing as you’re still alive and all (and at your age, what a feat!) I’d love to try and make it up to you with a belated birthday celebration?

I’m sure Lucy would love to join you in your attempt to make Cane Fighting cool. 

Don’t you just love impromptu visits? Don’t get ‘em often, but when I do… They usually aren’t exactly amazing. I don’t exactly have anything super important to mention, but I’m always open to a hug if you need one. Hell, maybe I need one.

No, they aren’t. Probably because those who are welcome in your home aren’t afraid to announce their impending visit. But a hug might be nice. 

Well, Brody and I have gotten around to training Bing to ride in a saddlebag with us and while he squirmed at first, he settled right in and it. was. adorable.

Sounds like it wasn’t a pleasant visit; is everything okay?

It sounds it. Does there happen to be any video? Because that would definitely make me happy. 

Spencer got pity sex from someone that he ranked as a “6″. I don’t know about you, but I’d count that as a happy story. For me, at least - because it’s hilarious. 

You, Mister Smythe, are terrible. But I’ll take it. How did all that come about anyway?

A three week stay? Wow… did it at least go well? And I hope I’m not overstepping by asking. Well, it’s the weekend so that’s kind of good news, right?

Was it a nice visit? Did Lucy have fun? My only good news is that Lord Tubbington lost like 2 pounds. I don’t have any bad news, but things are super normal at the Pierce home. 

…I did hook up with a guy who said his name was Zack Morris, but I’m pretty sure it was a lie. He wasn’t blonde or anything. And when I asked how Kelly was he didn’t know who I was talking about.

Hey -- good for Lord T! Getting ready for beach weather? It wasn’t horrible. And Luce did have fun, it’s just always a let down for her when he leaves again. 

Speaking of let downs -- if you’re going to call yourself Zack Morris at least be familiar with Saved by the Bell. At least it makes for a good story?..

Hey, hey, I don’t discriminate candy! I love them all! And I agree– those are fantastic. So glad to know there’s someone else that loves cinnamon candy. I tried to, but everywhere I went had already sold out! Such a bummer.More power to you though, Quinn! I hope you have better luck!

I definitely scored big on the cinnamon hearts, so if you were coming up empty that might have been my fault. I’d be happy to share some of our stash with you... Our eyes might have been bigger than our stomachs. 

Yikes. As for happy news… Uh… I got nothin, besides beignets and gumbo. Which, depending on who you are as a person, that may not be good news. 

Do you have some, or do they just make you happy? Because I too am cheered up by the prospect of deep fried desserts. 

When I went to the grocery store yesterday, they were already fully stocked on Easter candy. Two aisles worth. I mean, geez, I figured there would at least be a day or two of limbo there. Not that I’m complaining - Easter time comes out with some of the best candy (hello, Robin’s eggs and anything malted) - but, still. With the ever changing weather and seasonal stuff at the stores, this year is really flying by!

Sorry, but I must disagree -- while peeps are great, cinnamon hearts are where it’s at. Though, I guess I should be happy, while you and everyone else are taking in all the Easter candy, I’ll be in the discount aisle buying up all the leftover conversation hearts.