Overlord's Junk Pile

Sooo the new ISP was a bust because what was billed as broadband was actually DSL. Like, the kind using telephone jacks. While a box exists I dunno if any in the house actually work or where they even are. There was also some confusion due to our actual location vs. mailing address (we live like seven miles away from 'town', it's dumb) which complicated things and gave me an easier out. Mom backed down from her "new ISP or I boycott using the internet", uh, 'threat' so that's good. It'll be there if you use it or not, duder.

The new therapist seems nice! Can't get another visit until next month but he didn't seem dismissive or super intimidating or toss me out for being a weirdo so I'm optimistic.

Had a package damaged in the mail so I've spent the last few hours bagging up and vacuum sealing five pounds of shiitake mushrooms! They should probably be okay but if they go weird I can toss them since the cost was refunded. So, uh, free dubious shrooms, cool!

I'm feeling mostly better after having an allergic reaction to some frozen chicken nuggerts! Haven't had a bad one of those for years... it was like food poisoning with endless acid and added breathing trouble. Spent the next 24 hours sleeping and trying not to move 'cause everything hurt. Ow.

I didn't have the worst birthday last month but god was it lonely! Made a nice cake with vanilla bean infused sugar and a layer with pulped strawberries, cooked a nice steak, got a couple action figure sets and messed around with Earth Defense Force on the new dumb TV. It doesn't have s-video and was supposed to have VGA but has a dedicated composite in instead (most tend to piggyback through one of the component plugs, apparently?). Haven't tried it yet, but I really hope it works with the Master System. Apparently those little buggers hate a lot of upscalers/converters and I'll settle for imperfect but native signal support.

Last birthday I was feeling super dead due to the reduced cortisol trial thing prior to testing for primary adrenal insufficiency/ Addison's. It was worth it but wow did it suck. Wasn't up to eating a cupcake let alone making an entire cake.

... Seriously, I'm lucky not to be dead or been hospitalized over this. Genuine adrenal disorders are rare so diagnosing them is tricky. Sucks, but at least it's treatable. The whole thing's been harder on me than I'm comfortable admitting and feeling better's gonna be a process.

I've been spending time on Monster Hunter World lately which's been fun. It's definitely easier than previous entries but that's not a bad thing considering I'm running solo on PS4. Multiplayer just stresses me out, y' know?

Behold, its imperfect basis! Kinda never got the stitching to work properly, come to think of it.

The piglet's shiny black eyes blinked at him uncomprehendingly. Fat Nuggets was many things but a great conversationalist wasn't one of them. Still, another nudge of the tiny boar's head into Angel's hands spoke of what he wanted. Rubs. Not in a position to argue, the spider snickered to himself, scratching beneath the ham's ears. If only half the assholes in his life were so easily pleased…

Nuggs was more than just a pet to him; the little cutie was a lifeline, a metaphorical tether keeping him from drifting further into the abyss. He had to be some degree of functional to look after the little guy or, on his worst days, find someone else who could. The list of people he trusted with that was shorter than a spent cig and lighting it up too often risked it burning away to mere flakes.

Without him around, the sweet little ham had no clear future outside of a butcher's front window. To much of the world a Hell boar's value was only by the pound, chopped and packaged and sold as so much meat. Nuggets wasn't precious to them, just a product to be purchased and consumed and reduced to shit.

Such seemed to be his own fate and probably explained part of his attachment to the tiny sweetheart. In death as in life, his value only came from selling himself, either for dirty work or his body. Bitterly, he reflected that the major difference between the two of them was how quickly the process would kill them.

While it was decades too late to pull his mangled soul from the system that'd so eagerly crushed it, he'd done alright so far in sparing his baby. Fatty wouldn't thank him, couldn't thank him in words but that was fine. Seeing that little round face waiting for him after a tough shift eased the pain a bit. Yeah, it wasn't enough to make him forget like a good belt of powder did, but the warmth didn't evaporate and leave him trembling and sick to his stomach a few hours down the line.

His baby needed him.

Yet… he couldn't help feeling like he was failing. Yeah, Nuggets didn't go hungry but paying attention to the little porker was another matter altogether. Sometimes he'd be too exhausted or strung out to acknowledge the nudges of the piglet's muzzle, the soft appeals to get up and play. Usually he'd at least reach out a shaky hand to stroke his pet, brokenly mumbling how it was okay, that it was alright, and draw the tiny thing close to his body.

Other days, he just… couldn't, keeping the door shut tight between himself and the boar. He didn't always trust himself not to lash out with his misdirected anger and frustration. He didn't want his precious baby to see his makeup running as he cried.

Two meaningless existences stuck in the same bleak reality, but he wanted at least one of them to be happy.