be soft.

as a cis guy, when presented with the "99% you get a ton of money, 1% you turn into a girl" it honestly would be dumb to not hit that button until it breaks. like ok now i have 100 bajillion dollars and gender dysphoria. big deal. i have all the money in the world to turn me back into a guy. like with that kind of money i could have obama do me a phalloplasty. he wouldnt be able to do it as he isnt a surgeon but the point still stands

Okay but hear me out OP, what if the button does the genie wish thing and it flips your internal experience of gender but doesn't change any of your external sex characteristics? This isn't even a gotcha, I'm just actually curious

well in that case i still end up with the "shitload of money & gender dysphoria" combo but this time obama is doing a vaginoplasty instead

#all roads lead to obama bottom surgery (via epicsause-official)

project hail mary is like i'll make you believe that friendship will save the world. i'll make you remember that our society rests on the backs of teachers and scientists. i'll make you see that even the most cowardly can be brave. i'll make you horny for sandra huller. thank you greatest scifi film of the last 10 years

I'm instituting a new policy of "if I can't easily read your crusty scanned PDF then I'm sending it back to you, telling you to get your shit together and save your .docx as .pdf, and causing snakes to manifest inside your house"

this but also if you are in accounting and you have an Excel file please do not save it as a PDF or take a screenshot of it and then paste it into another Excel file

I take it back whatever you have going on is way worse than what I was dealing with holy shit

april fools? on [tumblr] ? i see fools on here 365 days a year, pal.

Just found out I was thirsty not by receiving a signal from my body about it but by dozing off and dreaming about cold water from different alluring angles. This is great. I think all my wants and needs should be revealed to me this way

Heard a car horn today that was tuned to a fifth. Fucked up, kinda delightful

see my problem is if i “listen to my body” it literally only wants to lie down and take naps, all the time