DANCE WITH ME THE GALLOWDANCE

*scrolling through tumblr*

Me forcing myself to save money and cook instead of eating out

When you check your follower count and 5 new porn bots have followed you

do people that say shit like “ooh nobody reads anymore, they only use their phones and computers” think that computers and phones can only display pictures and make sounds 

anyway I’m browsing vampire fetish forums like I usually do to cheer myself up and this girl asked if there are any hot vampire dudes out there looking to hook up or if they’re simply too hard to find and someone replied “Not With a body like your you just got to find one. I am not vampire but I am not mortal. I am Tuath Dé. you are cute message me”

this post is twelve different kinds of fantastic but I’d like to take a moment and crop out my absolute favorite thing about it which is

me, 8 years old, sitting in the largest bathtub that they have on display in the Home Depot:

How Food Looks Before It’s Harvested.