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For example, I had to quit all my vices and start changing the way I cooked and ate because certain foods and herbs can raise your risk of miscarrying an early pregnancy. Then I went to a maternal fetal specialist to clear my medications for pregnancy or help me change to safer ones and my regular doctors approve my body to carry a pregnancy. This was disability specific but who is fully abled these days? Then I had my birth control removed, in my case it was a minor procedure because I used nexplanon.

Then I started using ovulation predictor strips, which is pretty normal these days for people who are "trying for a baby" this involves pissing in a cup almost every single morning, dipping a test strip in the piss, waiting 5 minutes, then trying to decipher whether or not the test line is darker than the control. Thank FUCK there's an app for that.

After THAT, if it IS darker than the control line, you MUST have sex as much as possible in the next 48 hours. It doesn't matter if you're tired. If you hurt, if you're stressed. If you don't fuck raw and often, you've blown it. you've missed your chance for the next month, maybe more if you struggle with periods. If you DIDN'T miss your chance, then have fun being anxious the next two weeks wondering if this will be the cycle, if maybe things will work correctly this time. Then either your period starts and you start the process over when it's done or you got lucky and are now horribly sick and your legal personhood might be in a precarious position depending on where you live.

And, if you're in the unlucky percentage of people dealing with infertility, like me, after a YEAR of this they might start trying medications that will fuck with your hormones and make you feel Bad. They'll also want to do something called a transvaginal ultrasound, which is performed with an 8 inch wand. Or they'll inject dye into your cervix to see if your tubes are clogged.

Or they'll clean your partners sperm and inject it into your cervix every cycle the same way they did the dye. Then they'll blame your infertility on the weight you gained from the fertility medications that you took after a year of infertility. Finally, about two years in, they might do a simple blood test and find out you probably haven't been releasing eggs this whole fucking time because you're intersex and will likely need more help. Or maybe that's just me.