💮

not only did his alarm not go off this morning, he rushed to class for no reason at all. in his panicked stupor, he thought he was already late to class. rubbing the side of his temple, he groans to himself, trying to ease the headache that was beginning to bloom. his eyes were still fighting away the drowsiness he felt earlier. turning his head to the side, he sees your eyes still glued to your phone. 

laying his chin against the palm of his hand, he can’t help but stare. what kind of song were you listening to? he could barely make out anything from his side. phainon knows, deep down, he was a nosy person, however, it’s just instinct for him. he couldn’t stop himself from trying to know everything.

to distract himself from his impulsive thoughts, he opens up his phone, hoping to talk to one of his friends. at this hour, there were only two people who should be awake: mydei and cyrene. the former is usually awake for his early gym workout. the latter is busy writing her thesis. 

after a while, his eyes flicker back to you. 

although you’ve never crossed paths with him outside of class, your presence is awfully familiar and comforting. the words, have we met before? lay right on the tip of his tongue. unknown to phainon, you have been fidgeting in your seat for a while now. you rub the side of your phone with the edge of your finger, hoping to steel your nerves against your painfully obvious seatmate whose staring problem has not gone away.

after a full minute of silence, you finally take out one earbud, looking up at him with a flustered look.

“sorry, is my music too loud?”

the soft buzzing finally turns into audible music, and phainon hears a familiar sound—the bassline that resonated in his nerves, the words of a woman he has been dreaming about every night, the feeling of homesickness that washes away… he thinks he found heaven itself. phainon’s eyes widen with every second he hears that melody. 

he points to your earbud, “that song, who made it?”

“huh?”

“i heard that song before but i didn’t catch the name of the band!” phainon explains, still trying to rope his thoughts into one cohesive sentence. “can you please tell me their name?”

he sees the corner of your lips lift into a careful smile. you found the moment out of place, but somewhat endearing. “the band’s name is called siraph. where have you heard them?”

“i went to ghost town bar the other day! i was there for their performance, and i really liked the music they made. i’ve been trying to find them online…” he laughs, scratching the back of his neck–a nervous tick he developed as a young child, “by the way, where are you streaming this song?”

“umm…” you awkwardly tilt your phone downwards, “my friend… is in that band. they send me their recorded songs sometimes. the band doesn’t upload to streaming platforms, so that might explain why you couldn’t find them.” 

“so, you have the only copy?”

“i guess so…”

phainon stares intensely in your direction. he isn’t saying anything directly yet you can see it in his eyes: the hunger that comes from a starved man, a plea that was reflecting off the tops of his iris, he desperately wanted a copy of that song. you do everything in your power not to sigh in front of him. if dan heng was here, he would have easily said no. luckily for phainon, you were not dan heng.

underneath the pressure, you start to cave in, “do you… want me to send it to you?”

“you would do that?” his excitement was truly puppy-like. if he had a tail, it would be wagging by now, shaking against the cheap chairs that the classroom lined itself with. 

“it looks like you wanted it really badly…” 

phainon quickly pulls out his phone, gesturing for you to lift yours as well. with a gentle tap to each other’s devices, your contact is quickly shared with the snowy-haired man. after a few seconds of typing, phainon’s phone buzzes and he sees a file message from you. after a quick ‘thank you,’ he doesn’t waste any time in taking out his airpods (there was still time before class started) and plays the recording.

he is happy to hear the same bass as before, the one that has been playing in the back of his head more often than not. maybe even to an embarrassing amount. though, what strikes him as odd was the woman’s voice today. perhaps it was just the recording–the way it was slightly grainy but clear enough to make out the enunciations. phainon turns his head to the side, seeing you fidget with your phone. from his angle, it was clear you were avoiding his gaze. 

phainon could be dumb at times. like when he accidentally used protein powder in mydei’s waffle maker, causing the machine to get clogged with goopy, half-stirred dust. however, if there was one thing he was good at recognizing: it was people’s behavior. 

oh my god, he thought to himself, (name) is the vocalist to his new favorite band, siraph.

₊˚ෆ college au!phainon x vocalist!reader.

synopsis; on a dreary night, a nameless band and singer relieves phainon of his homesickness. determined to find her once more, their worlds collide when phainon realizes: his favorite vocalist is his classmate (name).

genres/warnings; smau, college au, classmates to lovers, profanity, timestamps don’t matter, photographs are non-representative of reader, fem!reader.

⤷ masterlist || backward + forward.

₊˚ ୨ৎ taglist [30/30]

@sunphais @t0r4s @sinbehavior @chxnnieee @m0reighn4 @aloudice @morichhaa @yourfavoritefreakyhan @violetisreadinghush @celesteelysia @phainons-goonbrick @kazeniya @luphyllum @potabletable @zanksa @mizuiaiiii @junoms @nicosworldoffun @veinpi @pookiei-bookie @a1-ic3 @skylions-den @kumiluvvsu @phainonsleftthigh @kaz-unidentified @fo-love @maggiforlifesstuff @tamashithe2nd @arluene7688 @2000-very-small-ants

Of course he had.

He always woke before you did, though he rarely moved. Instead, he simply laid there, watching the sleepy little expressions you made before consciousness finally caught up with you.

His arms remained wound snugly around your waist, his chest warm against your back. One of his hands rested lazily over yours, thumb tracing absent circles across your skin.

You yawned, "The sun isn't even up yet."

"It is."

"You're such a liar," you huff.

"I've seen it."

"You probably just dreamed the idea of it."

A quiet laugh rumbled through his chest, then after a while, "We both have work, sweetheart,” he murmured.

And still, neither of you made the slightest effort to move.

Silence settled over the apartment again.

You sighed dramatically.

"If we just lay here all morning, maybe our bosses will think something bad happened."

"They'll probably just call us."

"Then we'll pretend we're not home."

"How will we pay rent then?"

"...You're ruining my fantasy,” you huffed.

He chuckled again, lowering his forehead between your shoulder blades.

His embrace somehow tightened without becoming restrictive, arms snaking higher on your body.

Just a few more minutes, he seemed to say.

You didn't mind.

You never did.

The years had changed almost everything about the two of you.

You'd grown taller, he'd become broader.

Your schedules had become cluttered with meetings, his with flight details.

Your calendars marked with deadlines, bills, grocery lists, chores, and laundry waiting to be folded.

The simplicity of childhood had disappeared somewhere between graduation and your first apartment together.

Yet somehow, this remained.

His warmth.

His heartbeat.

The familiar comfort of someone who had always been home.

"You know," you murmured, "when we were kids, I thought adults had everything figured out."

His breath seeped through your shirt, humming as he agreed sleepily.

"I thought they'd wake up excited every morning, like, hey, I'm going to work and make money, yaaaaay," you rasped.

"They lied to us."

A sigh, "They really did."

"All these big thoughts so early and yet you still have bedhead."

"...That wasn't very boyfriend of you."

"I think it's very boyfriend of me, actually."

You laughed quietly as you fully turned to face him, hands coming up to cradle his face and squish his cheeks for the teasing.

"So rude, and this early in the morning."

He huffed out a laugh as his face was being stretched out, "I like it."

Your eyebrows knitted, "My bedhead?"

"You,” he admitted without a beat.

Heat rose to your cheeks.

It still happened.

After all these years, Phainon still had that effect on you.

You leaned your head back a little to get a better view of him.

He looked unfairly beautiful while being half-awake.

Soft hair tousled from sleep, eyes softer than the dim light filtering through the curtains.

He smiled.

Not the dazzling smile everyone else knew.

Just the small one reserved for you.

"Here's a big thought for you. I used to wonder if we'd always stay friends," he admitted.

The confession surprised you.

"You did?”

"I did."

He looked thoughtful as his next words spilled out.

"We spent every day together. Walking to school, sharing lunches, studying, sleepovers, watching terrible movies."

A smile grew on your face, "And you stealing my fries even though you said you wouldn't eat any,” you quipped.

"I was trying to prevent food waste, you don't even finish your food all the time."

"You were committing theft!"

"It was for my poor, hungry stomach. A noble cause, don't you think so?"

You rolled your eyes.

He continued anyway, "There were times I almost told you how I really felt."

Your heart skipped.

"...Back then?"

"I think the first time was when we were sixteen."

You blinked.

"Sixteen?"

"You fell asleep during the movie."

"...Which one?”

"The one where you woke up and you apologized for drooling on my shoulder."

Your eyes shut in embarrassment, "Oh my god, why would you remember that of all things."

"I remember thinking that..."

He paused, his voice straying lower, as if he were afraid to even consider the possibility, "...if I said something and ruined this..."

His fingers intertwined with yours, fingers tightening.

"...I'd lose my favorite person."

The room fell quiet, the hum of the air conditioning filling the silence.

You stared at your joined hands in the dim lighting.

"I almost confessed too."

His eyebrows lifted.

"When?"

"The festival."

"The summer one?"

You nod, "You won me that giant samoyed stuff toy."

"You practically begged me for it,” his chest rumbled as he laughed softly at the memory.

"You're lying again! I was just admiring it."

"You threatened to cry."

A shrug, "You told me I was persuasive."

"You weaponized your puppy eyes."

Your eyes flitted back to his, "What can I say? I learned from the best."

You laughed again before your voice softened.

"I remember thinking..." you looked down, "... that if you didn't like me back..."

A breath.

"I'd be content to just be your friend for as long as you'd have me."

Neither of you spoke.

Years of almosts.

Almost saying something.

Almost reaching across that invisible line.

Almost changing everything.

Until one ordinary day, he decided to take matters into his own hands and tell you the words you've both been pining to hear and say to one another.

And suddenly every almost became finally.

Phainon's thumb brushed over your knuckles.

"We wasted a lot of time."

"We were just scared."

"Were you?"

"I was terrified."

"Really? I couldn't tell."

You looked to the side in embarrassment, p"I practiced confessing to my mirror."

His eyes widened.

"No way."

You nodded lazily, "For two weeks."

"You rehearsed?"

"I had cue cards and everything."

He laughed so hard the bed shook beneath both of you, "You had cue cards?"

"They were color-coded, too."

"I wish I'd seen them."

"Dream on, then. I burned them.”

"You burned the evidence?” his voice cracked slightly from giggling.

"I panicked, okay?"

"You panicked."

You sigh and close your eyes, resigning to defeat, "I absolutely panicked."

His laughter slowly faded into another smile.

A quieter one.

"I'm glad."

Your head tilted, "About...?"

"That we were idiots."

You frowned, "That's such a strange thing to be glad about, Phai."

"If we'd confessed sooner..."

He brushed a strand of hair behind your ear, "...maybe we'd have been different people."

You thought about it.

Maybe.

Maybe not.

The teenagers who'd been afraid of losing each other couldn't have imagined this.

Sharing rent and decorating the apartment.

Fighting over blankets and ending up on the floor laughing because it had turned into a tickle fight.

Arguing over whose turn it was to pay for groceries because Phainon wouldn't let you pay for anything.

Making coffee together every morning just the way he likes it because no other coffee shop gets it quite as good as you do.

Knowing every scar.

Every bad habit.

Every sleepy mumble.

Loving each other wasn't fireworks anymore.

It was this… soft, steady, and certain thing you've come to know.

This familiarity—this always, you come home to.

Your alarm buzzed again.

You groaned dramatically.

"No."

"You should just turn it off."

"No."

"You'll be late, then."

"I've decided employment isn't for me."

"Oh?"

"I'll become a house cat instead."

He smiled, "Mmm, I think you'd be very good at it."

"I already nap as much as I can throughout the day."

"Closer to ten hours, sweetheart."

You squinted at him, "Why are you already sabotaging my newfound career."

He laughed quietly, “What about my flights today, then, hm?

You snuck closer, fully in his arms this time, wrapping your own around his neck.

He instinctively pulled you closer until there wasn't even a breath of space between you.

You rested your forehead against his.

"...Can't you just stay here and kiss me forever?"

He didn't answer immediately.

He kissed you, instead.

Slowly and reverently.

The kind of kiss that still felt new despite all the mornings you'd shared.

When he finally pulled away, your noses were still touching.

"I can."

The corner of your eyes crinkled, amused.

"Really?"

"Mhm."

He kissed the corner of your mouth.

Then the other.

And finally a kiss on the tip of your nose.

"Until we're both fired."

You gasped.

"I knew you were secretly irresponsible."

"No, I'm not."

"No?"

A kiss.

"I'm choosing you before my plane, priorities, you understand, right?"

You gasp and roll your eyes playfully, "You're such a flirt."

"So I've been told."

"You've gotten better."

"I've had years of practice."

Then another.

This one made you smile against his lips.

And another.

And again.

Until, eventually, you sighed.

"...We really do have to go get ready."

"We do."

And still, neither of you moved.

Not for another minute.

Not even for ten.

After all, it was barely five and the world would still be waiting outside your apartment.

But mornings like these—the ones filled with sleepy laughter, old memories, and kisses stolen from the clock—were the kind of ordinary moments you'd once been too afraid to dream about.

You press your face into Phainon's neck and breathe him in.

You live them now.

usagi's note: now i have to go get a batch of cookies ready lol, this took 1 hour and 10 mins i guess omg, hope you enjoyed!

@usagiarchive 2026. do not repost, translate, or use for AI. reblogs, likes, and comments are very appreciated!!

You refrain from naming this feeling you have for him, because ‘in love' sounded shallow. Years spent with him, listening to each other's fears and wishes, and having it be defined in two words seemed… wrong. 

But you do love him. That's a certainty that you have not even a speck of doubt in. 

You loved how he lights up the moment he spots you, you loved how loudly he laughs at your jokes—even if they were painfully unfunny—and you loved how his eyes seem to fixate, as if the surroundings have disappeared from his view and only you remain. 

He is the sun that greets you at the beginning of every day, while you're the moon that accompanies him in dark nights. 

But this… feeling has its grasp over your heart, squeezing every moment you spend by Phainon's side. It didn't sadden you as much as it annoyed you deeply. 

You want to stop it. Crush it. Make it disappear. 

It ruins your view of the relationship you've had with Phainon. It blurs the lines of platonic affection and more. It makes you stop in your tracks and take a step back. 

It doesn't take long for you to deduce that the only cure to all of this is Phainon. 

That thought alone has you groaning in frustration. 

What is it with humans and their hearts creating problems for themselves? 

You're completely satisfied with simply being one of Phainon's closest friends. So why does your heart urge for more? 

Why does it place you on a tightrope, expecting you to reach the other side and claim a price when you don't even know if you want it? 

Understanding the symptoms all connect to him, you create your own temporary (which hopefully turns permanent) cure; limit your interactions with Phainon. But make sure he doesn't notice. 

This medication of yours will be a lifelong one, and to begin this journey of recovery—you stop your usually fast response to Phainon's messages. 

First week, you'll let the chat marinate for two hours. Next week, you'll double it to four. The pattern repeats for the upcoming weeks. 

Of course, it doesn't take long for Phainon to notice, but this is where being in different schools comes in handy. When he questions, you deny (after letting the message dry for two hours) and reason that school activities have gotten hectic—not a total lie. Phainon seems to understand, but urges you to inform him if anything happens. He's always up to help. 

You didn't respond. Leaving him on read. No doubt causing a small crack between the two of you. 

It pained you, it really did. But drowning in self-pity will not help the situation, you're committed now—if anything, you don't blame him for leaving after this. It's probably for the best anyway. 

After a few weeks of slow responses, each one getting drier.

You take the next step, intensifying this treatment, by avoiding him. Not flatly, but just enough to make it clear that you’re occupied throughout a gathering by hanging around new friend groups, sitting beside another friend, or never letting your side be vacant. 

This seemed to deepen the crack, and for the first time you see Phainon's glare be directed towards you. Not with anger, but.. With helpless hope that you'd come up to him, even if just to greet with a smile. His eyes are unable to tear themselves away from your figure, even when it pained him. His hands, tucked by his sides, tremble ever so slightly. Just on the tether of launching forward and just… returning you to his side.

And you waited, curious on what he'd do once he reached his breaking point. Whether he'd march forward or cry on the spot. 

Yet, he did neither. 

He reciprocated your action, not making an effort to approach you and busied himself, whether by chatting with the old men gathered at a table or listening to gossiping aunties. Anything to keep his gaze away from your figure. 

But have you forgotten? Phainon is relentless. And for you? You'll have a bigger chance of escaping a hungry predator than Phainon. But with the way he's walking towards you, he might as well be one. 

Once the gathering ends and people are returning to their homes, Phainon manages to catch you by the wrist in a firm grip and kindly asks permission to borrow you from your parents (who are unaware of the turmoil and hands you over with a chuckle). 

He takes you to the spot you've spent the majority of your childhood, the big old willow tree. With the same tire swing still hanging off of its branch. Even the wood bark has your initials marked into it by Phainon, a day after the two of you graduated middle school. 

“What did I do?” He released his grip on your wrist. 

You're quick to answer, “Nothing.”

“Yes, I'm well aware of that. So what is it, [First]?” he's kind enough to not appear as angry as his tone might suggest, especially the way he delivers his questions. 

The words fail to reach your tongue and the two of you stand there in silence. 

He lets out a heavy breath, “.. Just, please tell me what I did wrong.. I'll apologize for it..” appearing a lot more exhausted yet unwilling to stop his pursuit. “.. I'll fix it.”

The last thing you want is to make a spontaneous confession. “It's really nothing, Phainon.” You look over his shoulder, trying to plan how exactly you'll escape this situation. “I've just been busy with school work.. And there's nothing wrong hanging around new people.”

“I never said anything was wrong with that, what I want to know is what I did.” He takes a step forward, and you can hear the drumming of your heart. Deafening any sound in your vicinity. 

“.. [First],” you hate the way his voice softens, carrying your name with this sense of longing. “I don’t—I really don't know what I did this time.. I won't get upset with your answer, whatever it is, just.. Don't leave me in the dark, please.”

Slowly, and hesitantly, his hand grasps the end of your sleeve. His knuckles turn pale from how tightly he's gripping. “.. Talk to me. Let me hear your voice.”

Your medication is proving to be difficult to maintain, and the cure is being dangled right in front of you. “.. I already told you—it's nothing.”

He frowns, but appears more desperate than upset at your repeated answer. “Did something happen? Did someone bother you at school?” his eyes seem to turn sharper at the thought. “[First].. I'm your closest friend. I'm here for you, remember? I'll listen to your every word.”

“I know you will—it's just..” How are you supposed to explain the on-going battle between you and your own heart?! 

His hand drifts down to hold yours, his grip unbearably gentle. “Take your time.” He urges you with a nod. 

Does he know how weak you are to his eyes? Those blue orbs seem to put a spell on you, one that weakens your resolve which usually ends with him receiving exactly what he wants. 

And this is no different. 

“.. I—” you stagger back as your head spins with realization of what's about to happen. Phainon’s grip prevents you from losing your balance any further. 

“Careful—!”

“I fell for you!” the words spilling out of your mouth in one sharp breath. 

The quiet that follows is unbearable. Wind passes by your frozen figures, in hopes of melting away the tension. It was the best sentence you could come up with at the moment—because everything else seems to fall apart the moment they reach your tongue. 

Your eyes are unable to stray from the grass standing between your feet. 

But a sudden fall snaps your gaze towards him—

Phainon's legs lost their strength, and he dropped down to his knees right before you. His grip remains on your wrist, noticeably shaky and you can feel sweat forming over the surface. His hair hangs over his face as he stares down. Refusing to meet your gaze. 

“.. Phainon..?” You call out to him, nervous on what expression his face may hold. 

A beat passed before he gradually lifted his head. You're greeted by the sight of his fully red face, the color traveling all the way to the tips of his ears. “.. You—You took me off guard..” He whispers out, forcing out a laugh from his throat. 

Heat begins to form over your cheeks. “Can you get up..?”

He pauses for a moment, his gaze falls down before returning to you. “.. I'm afraid not.” Which only deepens the color over his face. Despite that, he tries using his free hand to push himself up but ends up back in his spot when his legs begin to shake. “.. I—I really can't get up..”

“It's—It's fine..” You lower yourself to his level, settling on the grass. Uncaring of the stain it might leave on your clothes. “.. I should probably apologize for the way I've been.. Treating you. And I'll understand if you don't accept my confession. I mean, I wouldn't either cause of how I've been acting these past few weeks—”

Phainon launches himself forward, and successfully causes the words to freeze in your throat as he buries his head in the crook of your neck. 

Your body visibly shakes at the closeness, even after years of shared affection—all being platonic—this is the only one to make your heart lurch in its place. 

He takes a breath, inhaling your scent as he pulls away but not far. Just enough to stare into your wide eyes. “.. I was supposed to confess first, you know. I've been planning it in my journal since elementary..” He huffs, and you swear a pout is forming over his cheeks. “.. And in order to be forgiven, I have a request..”

Your breath hitch, “.. And that is?”

His eyes narrow as a grin creeps its way to his face. “A kiss would be nice.”

so why is it that such a fact, a belief - easily and significantly flew over your head, especially when you seemed to be the root cause of evidence that ‘scientifically’ supported the said belief.

multiple instances have demonstrated to the people of okhema and the chrysos heirs that phainon was utterly down bad for you, it was fully justified when you would hesitantly call for him, or request him of something.

the great deliverer would drop everything in order to be the first and only (as if someone else dared) person who was able to respond to you.

yet, through it all it seemed that you had decided that for all he does for you, it was purely a ‘friendly’ gesture and not at all an advance towards a more intimate relationship status with you.

‘these are for you!’

turning around from the fruit stall, you were met face to face with a massive bouquet of your favourite flowers with phainon hiding behind them.

shyly trying to hope that you wouldn’t register the massive blush he had coating his features, but of course you wouldn’t. you were too busy distracted by how large and beautiful the flowers were.

‘aww, phainon! you shouldn’t have-‘ feeling yourself get cut off by how he pushed the bouquet into your open arms. all while the large framed man was deduced to utter putty under your gaze.

scratching the back of his neck as he looked everywhere but at you and to ease his nerves. ‘it’s really nothing, don’t even worry about-‘

only for you to cut him off in the same manner, playing with a few petals as you thought about where you’d place the bouquet into your house.

‘i can’t belive you remembered it was best friends day!’

and as cringey as that sounded, nothing could have made phainon anticipate the way his face fell at the state of your smiling face and the words you just spoke.

you weren’t even looking at him when you said that!

and well okay, i guess sure, why not stare at the massive bouquet that your ‘best friend’ bright you to celebrate the forsaken ‘best friends day’?

of all the ways phainon thought this would have played out this was not one of them, like did you really blame him if he thought this was going to get him atleast a kiss on the cheek like the ones he had seen you giving a few kids yesterday when they brought you a stray flower.

a small peck if you were feeling squeamish at the thought of pda infront of everyone, but this…

clearing his throat with a cough to clear his head of the thought of just grabbing you and kissing you, the act was able to also capture your attention as you to turned to look at him.

he sighed apprehensively at the situation he had put himself into and had to accept with the way your innocent eyes stared into his.

‘yea… their for best friends day!’ gritting his teeth with the mention of the last phrase.

‘thank you phainon.’ saying it with a sing-song lilt to your voice, thinking that the conversation was over and with sending him a beaming smile, turning to continue with your errands with a massive bouquet on your shoulders.

unbeknownst to the general public’s feelings and phainon’s. with you out of sight from his vision and further from the dream he wishes he could turn into reality, phainon felt a heavy arm sling itself across the expanses of his large shoulders.

one that could only go par to par with him, turning to the side to see mydei’s all knowing face holding onto an indifferent expression as he stared at the sight of you several meters away from them, enjoying your day as usual and conversing with onlookers. calmly stating to him.

‘seems like your gesture was accepted on the wrong foot.’ calmly stating as if this was something he had expected and foreseen ‘cycles’ earlier.

which in turn only forced phainon to let out a defeated grunt and have him try to pry off mydei’s unsupportive arm away from where it rested in his shoulders.

this surprised the latter. mydei was familiar to phainon’s distinctive appearance and emotional reactions when it came to you… but this, this was different.

he rarely ever looked so - defeated. if that was the right term to place the way he saw him when he narrowed his eyes at how you seemed to walk in a different direction and where phainon had turned his back from you, he realised that this time it was more than fleeting disappointment phainon was feeling.

this must have felt like an utterly cruel rejection to end his advances, and mydei was none the wiser to try and get him to think that was the truth.

following suit behind him, he mirrored his earlier actions and wrapped his arm around his shoulders.

‘oh great deliver, what about a spar to ease your mind.’

and mydei knew him better than anyone else, for phainon’s melancholic expression had seemed to slightly shift towards pleasant surprise at the request of the prince of castrum kremnos.

‘i mean is it crazy to say that i thought she liked me back?’ staggering in his movements as he put more room into concentration over you, rather than the brooding man infront of him who kept on attacking at his weak defenses.

he wasn’t even trying and to mydei the spar that he had thought was meant to clear phainon of his thoughts of you, only left him at a capacity where he thought this was a let’s discuss name therapy session.

at some point, phainon deliberately plunged his great sword into the training grounds and leaned over it to continue his one sided conversation about the lack of progress he had when courting you.

‘like did you even know it was best friends day today?’ scoffing to himself as he looked at the bright sun. at this point more so speaking to the sky than mydei himself, leaving the rhetorical question up in the air.

which in turn got mydei to roll his eyes with a heavy sigh at his friend’s ministrations and walk out of the training grounds to leave phainon to his own thoughts.

it’s not like this was his area of expertise and he was sure that any point in time where he tried to interject and provide his opinions - phainon would only cut him off to provide his own perspectives towards his doubts and questions.

passing through the gates of the training grounds, he made swift notice of aglaea’s form entering into the vicinity of the training grounds.

sure that if there was one person who could help phainon wake up from this stupid unrequited love spell, it must have been her. unaware to the presence following behind aglaea as he thought about his own priorities and duties.

and to aglaea, from what she could ‘see’ under her thingy veiled gold threads, phainon was purely and utterly disheartened as he leaned his frame and sat on the ground using his sword as a support for his back.

quietly ruminating over the newest and profound rejection from you, so deep in thought that the great deliverer who was more aware of his surroundings on other days had yet to notice the romantic figure of aglaea moving towards him and a certain other party that was the reason for his heartache.

i mean can you really blame him if he thought that you’d get the hint by now?

first it was during one of the festivals in okhema that was meant to celebrate love and romance with aglaea at the forefront. he thought that him inviting you as his plus one was already a sure bet that he was professing his feelings in some way.

only for you to end up celebrating it with him and dismissing his feelings and your own as feelings of mutual respect and ‘friendship’.

and now that he remembers the whole friendship ideology between you two, he thinks the whole thing is just a social construct that makes it more difficult for you two to be together.

it’s not like he doesn’t value your ‘friendship’ with him, he just wishes that sometimes it wasn’t the root excuse that creates all of his rejections and becomes an obstacle to what could have been.

but then… maybe it wasn’t merely ‘friendship’ that stopped him from being with you.

maybe it was you.

you who probably saw all the signs but decided to ignore them and lay him down gently all these times under the guise of ‘friendship’.

you who probably didn’t reciprocate his feelings and felt like you couldn’t tell him.

you who probably must’ve have felt uncomfortable with each time he had the courage to speak up to you and channel his feelings of intimacy and love to you.

but what phainon couldn’t fathom at this point, even when you were simply right there behind him, wanting to act as a better support to his troubles than the great sword he was was leaning on could hardly do.

was that you were hopelessly and completely lovestruck to him, just as he was to you. you just assumed that his endless implicit confessions were plainly put - ‘friendly gestures’.

so slowly as he talked to himself and later noticed aglaea behind him, using her as his new ear to hear all the ridiculous things you had put him through.

as they conversed with infront of you, with his back facing the both of you and his mind unable to capture the sight of you. he went down the road of saying everything and all of it at once, thinking that you were probably never going to hear from him again after what had happened today.

‘aglaea, i’m no expert romancer but hardly anyone could have guessed that i’m in love with name.’

and with the latest confession it seemed that somewhere between the cycles, it seemed that fate was on phainon’s side for once. looking between the two chrysos heirs with aglaea being the one you looked at for actual confirmation to what you had just heard.

with her nodding to give you the go ahead that what you heard was in fact true. you were completely shocked at, but even more so to the fact that all the times you kept on acting oblivious to your own feelings, you had also been oblivious to his.

sighing to yourself at the whole ordeal with a faint smile, you looked over to aglaea who retracted her form to give the both of you some space at the new revelation.

phainon had quieted down now after his recent proclamation, and was lost in thought about how he was to try and get himself to forget about you and give up on this endless war of love.

albeit some part of his golden heart told him that he was to still cling onto the thing threads of fate.

crouching down to sit side by side to phainon who was still unaware to your presence, you sat on the same ground that he had been using as a companion for his mid-day admissions about you.

‘well maybe if you had said that from the first place i wouldn’t have looked so stupid.’

you finally quirked up with a bright smile gracing your features, as phainon was left speechless, turning to his side to see you sitting next to him.

embarrassed yet cautious to how you were reacting right now, he felt himself feeling a bit hot and bothered at how long you could have been here the whole time he was complaining about you.

either way though, as he assessed his surroundings and how you hadn’t yet fled for the gates of okhema after everything he said and instead were sitting next to him. then maybe, just maybe you also liked him back.

and it wasn’t until you decided to be bolder did he actually come to terms with the fact that he wasn’t just hallucinating or dreaming about you.

‘sooo, are you just going to stare at me the whole time?’ you mentioned, making him look towards you again with a confused expression.

‘…or finish your earlier conversation about wanting to kiss me?’

feeling yourself giggle at how he had quickly switched and captured the gravity of the situation, turning to grab your face and do just as what he had said before.

because as the great deliverer, isn’t it his role to deliver.

authors note:

nothing too angsty or emotionally heavy, also first fic of the celebration party!

- and i couldn’t be happier with what were celebrating as well like omfg 100 followers?! it’s unbelievable to me that i’ve hit triple digits when going into this i expected to writer just for me, myself and i😭

but it’s really beautiful and i love the tight knit ‘community’ that has come about from people interacting and supporting my works! it really does mean a lot and i can’t thank you enough.

polka dot divider is by @candvcane

so why is it that such a fact, a belief - easily and significantly flew over your head, especially when you seemed to be the root cause of evidence that ‘scientifically’ supported the said belief.

multiple instances have demonstrated to the people of okhema and the chrysos heirs that phainon was utterly down bad for you, it was fully justified when you would hesitantly call for him, or request him of something.

the great deliverer would drop everything in order to be the first and only (as if someone else dared) person who was able to respond to you.

yet, through it all it seemed that you had decided that for all he does for you, it was purely a ‘friendly’ gesture and not at all an advance towards a more intimate relationship status with you.

‘these are for you!’

turning around from the fruit stall, you were met face to face with a massive bouquet of your favourite flowers with phainon hiding behind them.

shyly trying to hope that you wouldn’t register the massive blush he had coating his features, but of course you wouldn’t. you were too busy distracted by how large and beautiful the flowers were.

‘aww, phainon! you shouldn’t have-‘ feeling yourself get cut off by how he pushed the bouquet into your open arms. all while the large framed man was deduced to utter putty under your gaze.

scratching the back of his neck as he looked everywhere but at you and to ease his nerves. ‘it’s really nothing, don’t even worry about-‘

only for you to cut him off in the same manner, playing with a few petals as you thought about where you’d place the bouquet into your house.

‘i can’t belive you remembered it was best friends day!’

and as cringey as that sounded, nothing could have made phainon anticipate the way his face fell at the state of your smiling face and the words you just spoke.

you weren’t even looking at him when you said that!

and well okay, i guess sure, why not stare at the massive bouquet that your ‘best friend’ bright you to celebrate the forsaken ‘best friends day’?

of all the ways phainon thought this would have played out this was not one of them, like did you really blame him if he thought this was going to get him atleast a kiss on the cheek like the ones he had seen you giving a few kids yesterday when they brought you a stray flower.

a small peck if you were feeling squeamish at the thought of pda infront of everyone, but this…

clearing his throat with a cough to clear his head of the thought of just grabbing you and kissing you, the act was able to also capture your attention as you to turned to look at him.

he sighed apprehensively at the situation he had put himself into and had to accept with the way your innocent eyes stared into his.

‘yea… their for best friends day!’ gritting his teeth with the mention of the last phrase.

‘thank you phainon.’ saying it with a sing-song lilt to your voice, thinking that the conversation was over and with sending him a beaming smile, turning to continue with your errands with a massive bouquet on your shoulders.

unbeknownst to the general public’s feelings and phainon’s. with you out of sight from his vision and further from the dream he wishes he could turn into reality, phainon felt a heavy arm sling itself across the expanses of his large shoulders.

one that could only go par to par with him, turning to the side to see mydei’s all knowing face holding onto an indifferent expression as he stared at the sight of you several meters away from them, enjoying your day as usual and conversing with onlookers. calmly stating to him.

‘seems like your gesture was accepted on the wrong foot.’ calmly stating as if this was something he had expected and foreseen ‘cycles’ earlier.

which in turn only forced phainon to let out a defeated grunt and have him try to pry off mydei’s unsupportive arm away from where it rested in his shoulders.

this surprised the latter. mydei was familiar to phainon’s distinctive appearance and emotional reactions when it came to you… but this, this was different.

he rarely ever looked so - defeated. if that was the right term to place the way he saw him when he narrowed his eyes at how you seemed to walk in a different direction and where phainon had turned his back from you, he realised that this time it was more than fleeting disappointment phainon was feeling.

this must have felt like an utterly cruel rejection to end his advances, and mydei was none the wiser to try and get him to think that was the truth.

following suit behind him, he mirrored his earlier actions and wrapped his arm around his shoulders.

‘oh great deliver, what about a spar to ease your mind.’

and mydei knew him better than anyone else, for phainon’s melancholic expression had seemed to slightly shift towards pleasant surprise at the request of the prince of castrum kremnos.

‘i mean is it crazy to say that i thought she liked me back?’ staggering in his movements as he put more room into concentration over you, rather than the brooding man infront of him who kept on attacking at his weak defenses.

he wasn’t even trying and to mydei the spar that he had thought was meant to clear phainon of his thoughts of you, only left him at a capacity where he thought this was a let’s discuss name therapy session.

at some point, phainon deliberately plunged his great sword into the training grounds and leaned over it to continue his one sided conversation about the lack of progress he had when courting you.

‘like did you even know it was best friends day today?’ scoffing to himself as he looked at the bright sun. at this point more so speaking to the sky than mydei himself, leaving the rhetorical question up in the air.

which in turn got mydei to roll his eyes with a heavy sigh at his friend’s ministrations and walk out of the training grounds to leave phainon to his own thoughts.

it’s not like this was his area of expertise and he was sure that any point in time where he tried to interject and provide his opinions - phainon would only cut him off to provide his own perspectives towards his doubts and questions.

passing through the gates of the training grounds, he made swift notice of aglaea’s form entering into the vicinity of the training grounds.

sure that if there was one person who could help phainon wake up from this stupid unrequited love spell, it must have been her. unaware to the presence following behind aglaea as he thought about his own priorities and duties.

and to aglaea, from what she could ‘see’ under her thingy veiled gold threads, phainon was purely and utterly disheartened as he leaned his frame and sat on the ground using his sword as a support for his back.

quietly ruminating over the newest and profound rejection from you, so deep in thought that the great deliverer who was more aware of his surroundings on other days had yet to notice the romantic figure of aglaea moving towards him and a certain other party that was the reason for his heartache.

i mean can you really blame him if he thought that you’d get the hint by now?

first it was during one of the festivals in okhema that was meant to celebrate love and romance with aglaea at the forefront. he thought that him inviting you as his plus one was already a sure bet that he was professing his feelings in some way.

only for you to end up celebrating it with him and dismissing his feelings and your own as feelings of mutual respect and ‘friendship’.

and now that he remembers the whole friendship ideology between you two, he thinks the whole thing is just a social construct that makes it more difficult for you two to be together.

it’s not like he doesn’t value your ‘friendship’ with him, he just wishes that sometimes it wasn’t the root excuse that creates all of his rejections and becomes an obstacle to what could have been.

but then… maybe it wasn’t merely ‘friendship’ that stopped him from being with you.

maybe it was you.

you who probably saw all the signs but decided to ignore them and lay him down gently all these times under the guise of ‘friendship’.

you who probably didn’t reciprocate his feelings and felt like you couldn’t tell him.

you who probably must’ve have felt uncomfortable with each time he had the courage to speak up to you and channel his feelings of intimacy and love to you.

but what phainon couldn’t fathom at this point, even when you were simply right there behind him, wanting to act as a better support to his troubles than the great sword he was was leaning on could hardly do.

was that you were hopelessly and completely lovestruck to him, just as he was to you. you just assumed that his endless implicit confessions were plainly put - ‘friendly gestures’.

so slowly as he talked to himself and later noticed aglaea behind him, using her as his new ear to hear all the ridiculous things you had put him through.

as they conversed with infront of you, with his back facing the both of you and his mind unable to capture the sight of you. he went down the road of saying everything and all of it at once, thinking that you were probably never going to hear from him again after what had happened today.

‘aglaea, i’m no expert romancer but hardly anyone could have guessed that i’m in love with name.’

and with the latest confession it seemed that somewhere between the cycles, it seemed that fate was on phainon’s side for once. looking between the two chrysos heirs with aglaea being the one you looked at for actual confirmation to what you had just heard.

with her nodding to give you the go ahead that what you heard was in fact true. you were completely shocked at, but even more so to the fact that all the times you kept on acting oblivious to your own feelings, you had also been oblivious to his.

sighing to yourself at the whole ordeal with a faint smile, you looked over to aglaea who retracted her form to give the both of you some space at the new revelation.

phainon had quieted down now after his recent proclamation, and was lost in thought about how he was to try and get himself to forget about you and give up on this endless war of love.

albeit some part of his golden heart told him that he was to still cling onto the thing threads of fate.

crouching down to sit side by side to phainon who was still unaware to your presence, you sat on the same ground that he had been using as a companion for his mid-day admissions about you.

‘well maybe if you had said that from the first place i wouldn’t have looked so stupid.’

you finally quirked up with a bright smile gracing your features, as phainon was left speechless, turning to his side to see you sitting next to him.

embarrassed yet cautious to how you were reacting right now, he felt himself feeling a bit hot and bothered at how long you could have been here the whole time he was complaining about you.

either way though, as he assessed his surroundings and how you hadn’t yet fled for the gates of okhema after everything he said and instead were sitting next to him. then maybe, just maybe you also liked him back.

and it wasn’t until you decided to be bolder did he actually come to terms with the fact that he wasn’t just hallucinating or dreaming about you.

‘sooo, are you just going to stare at me the whole time?’ you mentioned, making him look towards you again with a confused expression.

‘…or finish your earlier conversation about wanting to kiss me?’

feeling yourself giggle at how he had quickly switched and captured the gravity of the situation, turning to grab your face and do just as what he had said before.

because as the great deliverer, isn’t it his role to deliver.

authors note:

nothing too angsty or emotionally heavy, also first fic of the celebration party!

- and i couldn’t be happier with what were celebrating as well like omfg 100 followers?! it’s unbelievable to me that i’ve hit triple digits when going into this i expected to writer just for me, myself and i😭

but it’s really beautiful and i love the tight knit ‘community’ that has come about from people interacting and supporting my works! it really does mean a lot and i can’t thank you enough.

polka dot divider is by @candvcane

“i’d sleep well if you’d let me sleep in a little longer, phainon,” you groan out, turning away from him so that your face stayed out of his reach. 

you’ll get your kisses later. but first, sleep.

he hums. “let me think about it,” he says as he settles behind you.  you feel him pull you closer and pause, like he’s deep in thought, and when he stills, you think you’ve won the battle.

well, good.

 it is far too early for such antics, in your opinion.  

but just as his warmth lures you back into the arms of sleep, your eyes fluttering shut, soothed by the pace of his breathing, you feel a sneaky kiss on the back of your neck.  “i thought about it.” he whispers, smiling against your skin. “sorry, darling, the answer's no.”

oh. oh, no.

he teasingly drags his lips down to where your neck meets your back, ghosting over like the brush of a butterfly's wings, leaving goosebumps in his wake. he lingers there for a minute, his breath tickling your sensitive skin, before he retraces his path to reach the base of your ear. he kisses there gently, once, twice, and then— he bites. 

gently, of course, but it still has your eyes flying wide open.

“phainon!” you gasp, electricity running down the length of your spine. you turn around to glare at him.

“bet you’re awake after that, aren’t you?” he murmurs into your ear. you whack him playfully on the shoulder.

his bright laughter in answer is infectious, and you can’t help but crack a smile begrudgingly.

“yeah, yeah, laugh it up.” you huff, moving to hide your face in his shoulder as he still shakes with laughter. “you always wake me up too early.”

“sorry, sorry.” he says in return, not sounding even the least bit apologetic, and you pull away to give him a look.

"you don't sound very sorry," you huff indignantly.

his lips form into the slightest of pouts and you swear to kephale above that you could see faint dog ears drooping in his fluffy white hair.

“we haven’t seen each other since last night.” he says, blue eyes never leaving your own. they're wide, and they blink innocently. “i missed you,” he finishes, his voice dropping to a small whisper as he looks away, and your heart melts at the sight of him.

well.

you can’t exactly argue with that, can you?

you sigh in defeat, sitting up. “alright, alright, you win.”

the effect is instant. 

his pout disappears and his whole face lights up, eyes sparkling with joy, a dimple peeking out as he grins brightly.

he pushes himself upright, and with all the enthusiasm of a puppy, he pulls you on top of him, both arms wrapped around your face, and kisses you over and over and over, from your lips to your nose to your eyelids and to your cheek until you’re giggling in his embrace.

“there we go. not so grumpy anymore, are we, darling?”’ he murmurs, pressing one final kiss to your nose. 

you hum, rubbing the last remnants of sleep from your eyes. “i’m awake, that’s for sure.”

his grin never leaves his face, and he nudges your cheek with his nose. “have i ever told you that you have a beautiful laugh?”

“yes, a million times already,” you respond, smiling affectionately at him.

“well, then i’ll say it again. i love the way you laugh.”

“even when i sound like a hyena?”

“especially when you sound like a hyena.”

it is right then— cradled in his arms, watching him with a smile so dazzling, when the morning’s just begun and the whole day lies in wait for the two of you— that you find your answer. 

why does the sun rise so early? 

just so it can see you smile, of course.

(“so you’re saying i do sound like a hyena?”

“huh- what?! that is not what i meant and you know it.” he groans, resting his forehead on your shoulder.

“i’m just kidding.” you respond, running your hands through his soft, pale hair. “consider that payback for waking me up.” 

“would it help if i had breakfast ready next time?” his voice is muffled, but you can still make out the words.

“yes, yes it would.”)

✦ ending notes: first phainon drabble!! hehe this was a quicker piece but i thoroughly enjoyed every second of writing this (i know a very popular characterization is that he's needy WHICH I AGREE WITH but he's also excellent at executing a plan and setting it in motion ykwim? he contains multitudes jsjsjsj therefore, needy and sneaky)

✦ taglist: @maopll (taglist form is linked. send an ask to be removed!)