S.A.S.O

When I was asked if I have any plans for my future, I answered directly,

"No, I don't have any plans nor anything to do with my future."

and she started a little bit of argument saying that I should have one in case life surprise me with something not that good. After that little debate as to how important to have plans in life, my sister said something that somehow made me tremble and fear for this unplanned future of mine and it made me start to think what really matters most - the future or the present situation.

Live life to the fullest because you don't know what will happen the next day. Its either you'll wake up and continue the things you used to do or just die quietly lying in the bed until someone knows your dead gone.

Its not that I always think about that phrase but I always end up thinking that way, that life must be lived in fullest without knowing if it'll be you last or if you'll still be given another precious chance in doing the unfinished. The reason I don't like making plans is because it'll only end up in two ways: it will happen or it will kill you with frustration and depression. Though having plans is one of the best way to predict your future - a glorious and accomplished life while having the best time of your life and sharing it with people you love. It looks like its everybody's plan, a life close to perfection. But I believe that plans made by us won't still happen if it doesn't sync with God's plan for us. He still holds that one thing we only have - life.

So instead of making plans, I'd rather make a Bucket List that doesn't demand time, it just happens at the right moment. A moment that doesn't have present or future time, you just do it without knowing when. But if you think about it, having a list or plan is still the same, they just differ in when to do it.

A Life in A Bucket List

that sounds cool for a book title and just perfect to illustrate my entire life. I always had that perception of a life full of adventures, travelling, falling in love, watching the stars while lying in the grass field, be in a band and singing with my lungs out, have a son and grow old with my man, taking pictures of those precious smiles and die in a very peaceful way. More likely to be watching a movie about life and family where few people had a true grasp of it.

                                      This is where I leave you.

Life is not perfect. It shouldn't be perfect. It should be unpredictable and irrational......and complicated.

When I first saw its trailer, I said to myself that I would really watch this movie and after which I have seen it, it made me think that life was truly wonderful. Life itself is not perfect and there won't be one no matter how hard we try but still, having the thought of a perfect life should be judged according to how happy and satisfied we are right now.

This movie was about family, marriage, acceptance, love, relationships and hard decisions. It was a family of 3 brothers and 1 sister who once again meet in their old town after many years since they left and pursued different careers in life. As their father died, their mother requested that all of them 5 should live again under one house for 1 week as to really mourn for their father's death. When they started to do the "Shiva Ritual" where they seat all together in a small chair and talk to other people about how they were in the past years, things also started to get crazy. Judd who was the third sibling was about to file a divorce against his wife who slept with his boss for over a year then later found out that she was pregnant with him. While Paul the oldest one couldn't still give his wife a child for over six years of their marriage and his wife began to do crazy stuff just to get pregnant. Wendy, the only girl once again saw her first love but since she was already married and got 2 sons, she could only love his ex-lover from a distance and will forever be in her memories Their youngest brother Phillip was such a mess but he found a lover who was his Psychiatrist before and an age close enough to his mom. And to complete their family, their mother who had a breast uplift was later found out by her children that she's now a lesbian. With different kinds of personalities and stories, this movie did an amazing thing to inspire me that life will never be perfect but it will always be amazing when you spend it with the ones you truly love and that are dear to you.

When teenagers decide to experience relationship for the first time, they tend to only see that LOVE is all about "Me falling for you and you falling for me" without knowing that relationships are more than just falling, its all about holding to that one feeling. A feeling that can be described as fear, fear for losing that person so dear to you and no matter how hard you try to avoid that feeling you still get to experience that fear. But when these teenagers grow up, a slight change of perception towards love begins and the journey towards complicated relationship won't only be a status on Facebook but an experience worth sharing for people who really think that relationships are easy to handle.

There is no exact meaning for love but there's one truth about it, it brings happiness or sadness and a mix of both. But if I were to describe love, a single sentence will do, "Love brings out the real you". Yeah. Definitely it will bring out the real you, like literally and totally the real you. All the bad stuff and great stuff  will be revealed in front of the person you truly love because that's what love can do to bring out your best and worse personalities that even you didn't know those thing exist. It takes years though before you could truly reveal who you truly are because of that one feeling again, the fear of losing. And now we'll answer that question from above, why was it again complicated?

When you start to experience that fear, another feeling comes in. Struggle. Day and night you kept on struggling like someone was killing you by stabbing your heart. Though I believe that what the heart feels is a command from your mind and because your struggling, your mind can't think straight. It only thinks about that fear you're dealing with and so you kept on struggling just so you can get out from that nightmare. People who are deeply in love with their recent lover are the ones who tend to experience the worse fear there is. And to ease that fear and to stop that struggling feeling, they do the most complicated things in a relationship. And so they became the "Tanga Queens" and "Tanga Kings" but never judge those people because you don't know how hard it is for them to swallow their pride just to have back that one moment where love was all about happiness and sweet moments. 

saodeclas:

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