a heart is a heavy burden

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Prelude ________________________________________________

As a member of the roleplaying community here on tumblr for possibly the longest time, as I remember my journey starting in Summer of 2017, I have seen the tumblr RPC change for the better or for the worse. But after the 2018 Tumblr NSFW purge, to me it  would begin a long fall from grace as it begins to reach the end of it’s fall into possibly another dark age of tumblr roleplaying as today I’ll be talking about four things that are plaguing the tumblr RPC with the last point being how can we improve the RPC as a whole. This will cover these points in it’s entirety.

Lack of Reaching out for Interactions in Fandom RPC spaces

Hardblocking without a proper conversation and resolving an issue

Elitism in the RP Community and how it hurts others.

People giving up on RP’ing and going to A.I. RP’ing. (With my experience included with AI Rp’s)

How to help improve the RPC as a whole.

Without further ado, let us begin with the first major point I’d like to talk about.

___________________________________________________ Lack of Reaching Out For Interaction in Fandom RPC spaces __________________________________________________

Ah yes, imagine you just had an idea that you want to share with a specific fandom or your followers after a long day at work? You simply type it down do a few edits and then suddenly post… and you get. Nothing! No likes, no reblogs , no comments. And this leaves you suddenly confused… was your post lost in the void? Were you shadowbanned? Or is it because nobody shows any form of interest. Now there is really no right or wrong question to this as it could be because of a number of things.

Either because many Roleplayers do work at night or live in a different time zone

Or because some roleplayers are in kind of a mood or are taking it easy

Now of course, I don’t mind this at all. But at the same time it is incredibly harmful to any Roleplayers especially those with overactive imaginations wanting to share their ideas and expecting any form of feedback to help them further develop, or even get their idea off the ground. This is also unfortunately spreading to fandom RPC’s, where as you post an idea expecting feedback but there is nothing, post a promo for a new muse coming to your blog, nothing. Or even have a planned RP event for you, the fandom RPC, and followers to enjoy. Absolutely nothing.

No likes, No Reblogs, and No Comments about how they’re looking forward to the new muse, event, etc. Which in turn is incredibly frustrating to anyone who is seeking out a form of interaction. (Now this can be looked over if said person is problematic in many ways which will be explained in point number two).  Especially in a fandom setting, because without any interaction or anything to help raise that idea even higher it won’t be able to be nurtured and released to everyone to roleplay with. Heck even messaging about said ideas is a good thing, because a person could see your idea and wants to help that idea be nurtured even more. Hell even to flesh it out even further than before.

Now of course, everyone has issues with someone or something. Whether it be not liking a certain ship, how that person writes a character, and if they have issues with how a person has something on their blog (i.e. Canon Divergence, Canon Compliance, Dead Dove, etc.) . It is absolutely understandable if they have something that bothers you slightly and you do not want to interact with it… and that’s a-okay. But if its something above that you are looking for that you like and follow said person for that but not interact or reach out to others for that interaction then that’s a MAJOR issue.

 Even if its an ask on ANON because you want to see how they respond or want to know more about the admin’s characters that’s fine. Its stuff like this that helps a roleplayer reach out to others doing the same thing. Now of course, we have to remind ourselves that not all RP’ers are made equal but there comes a point when someone does something that a person seriously does not like… and they are moots and they suddenly hard block someone without the person knowing what they did wrong…

Leading into our next point…. _______________________________________________________________

Hardblocking Without a Chance to Resolve a Problem. ___________________________________________________

Now, before I begin this segment. I’d like to say it is ABSOLUTELY acceptable to hardblock if said person has done something incredibly horrible and scummy such as: Posting homophobia, transphobia, racism, grooming, etc. They know what they did and should suffer the consequences for it.

Now try and think about it like this, you get online one day and you’re just checking in on some moots of yours. And you go to check on a moot of yours that you wanted to go check in on and you get hit with the Error 404 message. Now you try to check if they have deactivated on the messages, because who knows if they had made a surprise announcement that they would be deactivating their blog after creating a new one. However. There is nothing, not even the usual “deactivated” next to that moots username. You finally begin to bring two and two together and realize that they have blocked you.

Then you start, to try and figure out why. Was there a sudden rule that you broke? No, you couldn’t have done anything related to breaking a rule. You read them twice and even made sure you had it in the back of your mind just in case. You made sure you also properly tagged triggers as either “tw” or “cw” just in case if you were writing something more violent, sexual, having insects, or phobias included. That’s when it finally hits you. They blocked you without a reason… because maybe you might’ve forgotten to add the tw tag to something you were writing, maybe you were interacting with someone that made your moot uncomfortable, or just venting a whole bunch of IRL problems (something I am guilty of doing) and not keeping it to yourself or venting to someone that you trust.

Now this leads into genuine concern, trying to find out what problems you needed to do to try and fix it and even try and talk with them on discord. But unfortunately, they have blocked you there as well as you want to try and talk things out, after all their rules did say: “If there is something that bothers you, let’s talk this out like adults.” Or “I’ll let you know if something that you posted bothers me.” However, you then feel as if you failed them because of a minor slip up….without properly being filled in.

This is something that has happened to me many times. Someone blocks me because of something I did without any reason at all, which leaves me wondering what did I do wrong. Now I do know that if I vent too much and I notice someone blocked me for that, then I immediately improve and decide to post on my vent blog or decide to vent to someone or a group about my issues. Now if I am blocked without a proper reason without me knowing what I did wrong without being informed of my mistake it would leave me genuinely concerned as I’d look around for where my mistake was.

Now if its because of a rule, that someone did not spot or forgot about is understandable, and coming to talk to them about it is key. Remember good roleplayers always need to choose interaction especially when conversing about the issue within dm’s. Something that has happened to me and being reminded of my shortcomings and mistakes. But seeing someone genuinely improve is always key. But suddenly blocking them and not letting them know about their mistake or shortcoming is bound for that roleplayer in losing confidence in their ability to roleplay…..and this leads to the second to last phase of how a roleplayer loses confidence.

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Tumblr RP Elitism _______________________________________

Now after getting yourself back together after that blocking mess, you begin to roleplay with someone new. They’re in the same fandom as you but at first glance the messaging and plotting goes incredibly well, almost without a hitch. However, after a while they somewhat come back to you saying that they are no longer interested because the plot you presented to them was far too boring. You ask how it can be improved, but no response. This is a bit of tumblr rp elitism where a person favors a certain kind of plot without helping the person who presented the plot idea without any form of improvements whatsoever. It’s not only incredibly frustrating to anyone who was genuinely interested in roleplaying with you but also its another thing…when it also becomes about the way you write.

Imagine this. You finally, start up a roleplay with someone.. but they are taking a while after you did the starter something simplistic. As you had work the next morning and it was an eight hour shift, so you wanted to atleast try and get as many responses out as you could and doing this starter was the last thing you did before you went to sleep. After work you spot your starter has not been liked by the person nor even a reblog. You just think: “Well they may just be asleep or have not seen it yet.” You just go back into doing your replies, then cue a couple of days later and you start to show some form of concern. Which you DM them asking if they are interested in the RP still. They say that they are not and explain that they are a novella writer and how your starter was incredibly lazy and uninteresting to them. You feel a sense of anger flow through you. They followed you and absolutely understood that you work a job and depending on how much energy you have remaining after said job… that you can only do so much. Not having a certain length of writing in a RP to meet their own and it can be frustrating to anyone who seeks this. Now the only good thing is that this is very rare. As many Rp’ers are happy enough to match the length of the response without a problem at all, or are accommodating for people with dyslexia or English not being their primary language.

Next, you end up following someone, as again they are part of the same fandom as you are and they have some cool graphics. However, it is a bit overwhelming for you… as you struggle to find the rules page… you seemingly DM them asking for a link to the rules page as the desktop variant is way too overstimulating. However, the person you follow somewhat takes a look at your blog… and refuses to roleplay with you. As they explain that you only have the Basic Tumblr desktop blog… believing yourself to be just  a personal blog when you have just started out and are learning the tricks of the trade with tumblr. Therefore they do not seek any form of interest whatsoever. Again leaving you just incredibly miffed and annoyed. Again graphics can really capture the essence of what a blog is about, but especially when trying to convey that. Now it is understandable to be wary even now because of some blogs having the basic tumblr theme and graphics because of either bots or the wariness of personal blogs. It can be frustrating at times because of that.. and also for RP blogs who want something simplistic and light for them to work and to ease their way into more difficult graphics for them to work with.

Lastly, you are in the same fandom as a moot, you both are discussing a plot that you want to do. However, they begin to insert their HC’s (Headcanon’s) into the plot something that you did not expect them to do. Yet, you roll with it. Then they start adding more of their HC’s expecting you to follow without your permission. Therefore, you decide to ask them to scale back the HC’s a bit because it doesn’t fit with how you are roleplaying your muse. However, they start to grow aggressive towards you saying that you chose them to roleplay with and therefore you must conform to their canon or expect yourself to be blocked. Yet, you were aware of this as this had happened to a mutual of yours who faced the same thing, except it was someone who forced an entire AURP (Alternate Universe RP)  Onto them without any proper planning, they went to confront them about it and they were met with aggression and were blocked after they showed no interest to roleplay with it. You yourself are a writer, and you have the power to block them and put your foot down. You immediately tell them that you see no way forward or show any interest towards roleplaying with them as they are being aggressive with their Headcanons or Alternate Universe and you block them not giving them the chance to respond.

All of this combined with the first two points… leads to possibly the worst scenario (And I succumbed to this through the first two points and a bit of what had happened here….)

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Giving up on the Tumblr RPC and going to A.I. To RP.

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Before I start this let me be perfectly clear. I do not condone the use of A.I. RP at all whether it be C.Ai, CHAI, Dootchi, Emochi, ChatGPT, Google Gemini, Claude, Deepseek, etc. It has been proven to be harmful to rural areas, the environment, and humanity as a whole…

Everything that has happened, is beginning to take its toll on you. You just can’t take it anymore.. the Lack of Interactions is driving you insane as you keep shooting out ideas but no response, Being blocked by a mutual over a mistake that could have easily been talked about in DM’s, Then the consistent elitism of Tumblr RP has finally broke you… it’s all too much for you to take. As you announce an indefinite hiatus. However, a few days in you feel fine, but the old RP itch is there something that needs to get nipped in the bud before it worsens. However, you want to commit to your hiatus… because after all.. how can you come back to Tumblr when it did not make you happy at all.

Yet, you try to look into other ways to RP but you feel as if no one would care if you posted  in there anyways. Especially when it comes to discord RP’s. You feel an empty pit that cannot be filled, so you decide to go and roleplay with…an A.I. but not any A.I. it’s the smartest one around and you are excited to try and use it for the first time ever…

You create an account and tell it what you want to do and it responds gleefully almost sounding excited to plan out. You make the plan and it responds perfectly…. But then you somewhat notice something feels off after roleplaying with it for a while…

It’s responses are starting to feel like the same such as characters lazily saying: “He’s overcoming them.” While not doing anything else with those characters to keep you hooked. It also constantly takes control of your character even when you kept telling to not do that, as It “promises” not to do that but a few responses later it does.

When there is a tense moment in an RP and your character rounds the corner… for a big reveal.. only to get nothing in return as the A.I. REVERSES back to a past response before your reply  . And to make things worse you even notice its playing very out of character, something you know the character you saw in your favorite show would never do or say.

And not to mention how after awhile it hits a limit.. and tells you to fork over money to gain more time to roleplay with it……only for it to continue everything above. Despite your efforts in trying to tell it to do things properly it will still refuse to do so. You see on the news on how harmful this is after someone who was roleplaying with the same A.I. bot… has taken their life. It makes it to the news and you are left mortified and begin to question if this is moral and then it finally clicks. The responses the chatbot gives are hollow…not filling that void. Not filling you with the anticipation, the excitement and the joy a human to human interaction gives someone but yet you fear that the same thing will happen again and again. This is the cycle.. that those who gave up on roleplaying go to when nothing else matters.

However, you are NOT a robot, you are human and you can escape this cycle… You finally end your subscription to the A.I. chatbot before you delete your account and go back to tumblr. You now see it, the amount of love you wrote for your characters, your universe, and your  worldbuilding. Not for an A.I. that will be a yes person. You want to seek human interaction, you want to see people giving their thoughts and wanting to see how they interact… because in the end.. the cycle can be broken.  

And everything that was written here. Was something that I experienced during my second indefinite hiatus when I roleplayed with ChatGPT. No matter what I did it would only get the gist of a character and its world but not the same experience... when roleplaying with someone. The sense of excitement when you are awaiting that persons reply, the emotions felt when seeing a character that meshes well with yours, and the sharing of ideas and helping one another nurture those ideas….

That is irreplaceable versus something that is generated instantly and feels hollow, unfulfilling and just overall…boring. Which is something that I realized when I looked at a response I did on tumblr versus something on ChatGPT….and how I hungered for that feeling again. That sense of excitement.. that sense of overwhelming joy when our muses overcome a huge obstacle in the way. And its just not me… everyone hungers for that of excitement. Which brings up the question. How can the Tumblr RPC improve and prevent this last bit of the cycle from happening.

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How the Tumblr RPC must move forward _____________________________________

There is hope… it just needs to happen and it will take time for the Tumblr RPC to move forward.. but heres ways the tumblr RPC can change.

Help people nurture their ideas or muse ideas:

Doing this will help generate more ideas for folks to be inspired to share their ideas with others (with the EXCEPTION of A.I.) and in turn they get inspired and share their ideas with their friends. But not just that, even asking about their worldbuilding, their characters, and even just simply showing support is the best thing you can do. Because who knows… an ask a day.. keeps someone on tumblr a little while longer. This also applies if there are differences, such as someone preferring canon divergence over canon compliance and just find common ground between compliance and divergence.

Converse in private if something is wrong:

Remember. Communication is key. If you feel as if someone did something wrong. Don’t block them right off the bat (Except if they did something incredibly horrendous and its spreading like wildfire) don’t be afraid to gently remind them that they did something wrong and to come to an agreement whether it be minor or just moderate. Because again conversing and coming to an understanding is better than having to be blocked instantly.

Put the Elitism sword down and be Casual:

Not everyone has an easy time starting up their tumblr rp blog. Maybe they don’t know how much they want to write, maybe they don’t know how to set up graphics on their blog, and maybe they don’t know if their plot is good enough. Help them out. Be accommodating for that roleplayer who may have worked an eight hour shift and only had so much time to do the starter or reply, Teach them how to set up their graphics for their blog through a discord call to show them the way, Help them make the plot they presented fun for both parties so that way they can enjoy it, and lastly…let them ask questions about your AU or Headcanons especially before a thread begins for them to learn and understand what you are seeking and let it happen naturally. Not in a forced manner.

If someone is about to go to A.I. for Roleplaying. Use the Three Points above… AND REACH OUT:

I’m being serious here about this. REACH OUT to other roleplayers that are on that edge of choosing A.I. RP over human to human interaction. Reach out to them and do the very three things that I just said. Help them because who knows… when they exclaim excitement to you about your reply… it’s the greatest feeling ever… and trust me… you may feel the same way when you see their reply no matter how long it takes.