Miranda's Thoughts and Feelings

Weird theatre kid problem: I don't like fluorescent light bulbs. With how much I have learned to focus on the details of lighting design, I have come to hate the blue tint of fluorescent bulbs. Normal light bulbs give off a warmer, more yellow light. For a non-light-designer person it makes absolutely no difference, but for us weirdos who spend entire semesters studying this stuff it becomes very significant. Since I have my director brain turned on at maximum power this semester, it is making it that much worse. To complicate the situation even further, my apartment has a combination of fluorescent and non-fluorescent lighting that overlaps in places like my living room. If I let my mind dwell on it too much it might make me go crazy. 

I really hate myself today.

Alcohol improves my vision. Just the slightest buzz and all of a sudden the world is not as blurry as it once was. Why?

I am not functional when I feel like this, and about the only thing that seems to give me any sense of fulfillment at the moment is my productivity.

I feel like I can't do it. This whole life thing. This whole college thing. This whole job thing. It's too much. I don't think I can handle it. I am feeling very defeated, and it's hard not to let it overwhelm me. Hmmmm....