MIRELLE ORTEGA

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I loved you in the forest. Where your heartbeat was so soft I was afraid that you were a dream. Eyes like an ocean, mouth the curve of a bow, hands that felt like something more than skin and bone — you were born to be alive in the woods, to walk the beaten trails with me until your legs buckled beneath the weight. The rare times you were better at me when we hunted, you would act as if you hadn’t won. There was no place I’d rather be than wading through a clear stream with you. There is no place I’d rather be than perched on a tree branch, breathing with you. I know our demise will always be that I loved you too much to let you go. I know that if I was gentler, more pure like Athena or Hestia, I could have given you up to Hades without whispering your name in my sleep. But seeing your body curled, tinged purple from a poison that you didn’t even notice because the beast that you were trying to slay to prove your worth to me, I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t let Hades hide you away in a place that I wouldn’t be able to see you. I couldn’t just save you for my dreams. Dear Orion, I’m so sorry. I couldn’t conceal you in a forest, I couldn’t find a way to lose you forever and not perish from it. I could not tell you how much you meant to me until your heartbeat was stolen from me like a broken hummingbird wing. Your eyes now look like stardust and sometimes, I swear that you’re hunting in the sky without me. Your heartbeat was so silent but sometimes I can hear it when wading through clear streams alone. Orion, my darling, I can see you even when the sun is burning, I can feel your lips in the bow I cradle in my palms. And at night, I kiss the air between us, hoping that you may feel it within your bones.