Just Another INFJ on the Internet

It means a lot happens inside them before you see anything on the outside.

ITP: does this make sense? is it logically consistent? > analyzing silently how things work, mental troubleshooting, projecting outcomes, referencing logical principles, seeming disengaged while the machine of their mind is busy analyzing and dissecting.

IFP: does this feel right? does this align with who I am? emotional reflection, awareness of emotional responses, ongoing evaluation of their motives, feelings, authenticity, moral nuances, and what those things mean to them, internal narratives (like/dislike) about people, ideals, situations, relationships, experiences.

INJ: what does all of this mean? where is it headed? impressions forming into an overall, over-reaching sense of things, long internal thought patterns full of interpretations, symbols, predictions, and reflections, mental imagery, "sudden realizations" built up after pondering things for awhile, being unaware of how much they are processing something until the truth just seems apparent.

ISJ: how does this compare to what I've seen before? what do I know about it? recall of sensory details, routines, facts, information, lived experiences, a sense of internal stability built up over time based on their experiences, careful mental comparisons between now and then, now and what I knew about, now and later, what this is, has been, what it might be, if it follows a familiar path.

And now, since you're gonna ask, for extraverts...

Their processing happens in "real time" through action, dialogue, or engaging with whatever is going on around them.

ETJ: quickly structuring tasks and goals, setting standards for themselves, making decisions based on efficiency (what works, what gets results?), being straightforward about the facts, stating what is going on, verbal reasoning and "quick response time" (thinking while talking), organizing other people, resources, timelines, workloads.

EFJ: reading the room and adjusting their behavior to maintain or establish a connection to those present, being persuasive, expressing their feelings on the spot and outwardly to maintain connection (here is what I feel, and I'm confronting it in real time and sharing it), managing group morale and cooperation, deciding things based on its impact on people.

ENP: instantly spotting connections, possibilities, alternatives, and "what else this could become" with tweaking, brainstorming aloud and figuring out things through talking about them, constantly exploring new angles, hypothetical outcomes (it will change each time and you can watch it spin out in real time into different ideas), engaging instantly with anything that interests them, energized by "novelty" and instantly excited about exploring it.

ESP: acute awareness of the HERE and NOW, and what is possible inside of the situation, quick action based on opportunities or threats, learning through hands-on experiences rather than purely observing, adjusting their bodies in "real time" while they learn, and eager to engage physically with the environment.

Introverts: let me process this first.

No. It's not true.

Fe has objective morals, which means an automatic "knowing" of what is wrong (assuming it's healthy Fe) because of the collateral impact. So a Fe user would think "I won't commit adultery, it would be hurtful to my wife/husband and kids."

A Fi has subjective morals, which means an automatic "knowing" of what is wrong FOR ME (assuming its healthy Fi) because it violates an internal felt standard. So a Fi user would think "I won't commit adultery, it's not who I am."

It's just an outward vs. inward way to look at ethics. One involves you, the other person, and one involves me.

Of course, the same thinking could be used to justify adultery. Fe might think "It's not hurting anyone and we're both consenting adults," and Fi might check with oneself and find out "I'm okay with it."

To use your example, let's say a Fe and a Fi were raised in a cult. Fe went along with at first because that's what everyone does, so they think everyone outside the cult thinks the same way; but then Ti kicks in and they start questioning the ethics of the cult on a logical level. Over time, their feelings about said cult change based on how the cult treats people in general and they start objecting to it because it is hurtful to people.

The Fi either thinks "this is for me" or "this is not for me" and their decision to leave or stay is dependent on how the cult affects them internally.

To put it simply, Fe is us/we/humans and Fi is me / myself / I.

Fe focuses on what makes us all human, the feelings we share, and they know how to nourish and show off those emotions to bring people together. Fi focuses on what makes me different from you and what I feel that you don't and what subjectively arises in me.

Ne-dom: can do a 180 on a dime, throw away what you've been working on for hours, and do the total opposite without any hangups.

Se-dom: can instantly see what opportunities are to be had, and get on board with them by putting your body/hands into action.

Te-dom: can easily create and impliment structure for yourself, to meet your deadlines and goals and accomplish what you want to.

Fe-dom: can change your dialogue to appeal to your audience and get them on board with your ideas by mirroring them.

Ni-dom: can reach a single conclusion or vision that drives you and easily understand things without needing to "learn" them.

Si-dom: can collect and store vast amounts of information related to your interests and achieve expertise through repeated practice.

Ti-dom: can analyze and deconstuct people, concepts, theories, and ideas automatically in a desire to understand how they all "work."

Usually, the types will interpret the situation through their personal lens and lean harder into their core defenses, rather than change them, since that's all they know how to do.

1s: I will become above reproach so that I draw no negative attention.

2s: I will anticipate and meet all of their needs.

3: I will become whatever they want me to gain their approval.

4: This is just proof of how miserable my existence is, and how I suffer, compared to other people who have easier lives :(

5: I'll withdraw into my interest and become emotionally untouchable.

6: I will anxiously try to avoid getting into trouble, by being "good" and watching the parent/older sibling/whomever carefully for signs of violence, disapproval, etc.

7: I will entertain myself with fantasies about a better life.

8: I will push back at them to create a boundary for myself, and get out of here as soon as possible.

Si: to guide you based on past experiences.

Se: to give you opportunities in the present.

Ni: to help you find a singular path forward.

Ne: to help you explore your options.

Ti: to give you understanding and logical "hacks."

Te: to give you facts and objective judgments.

Fi: to give you inner emotional awareness.

Longitudinal Associations Between Parenting and Child Big Five Personality Traits (University of California Press, Nov 18 2021)

"We expected that positive parenting practices would be associated with the positive development of child extraversion, agreeableness, conscientiousness, emotionality stability, and openness to experience, whereas negative parenting practices would be related to negative trait development.

Controlling for child age, gender, socioeconomic status, and parents Big Five personality traits, along with corrections for multiple testing, we found several interesting findings regarding the longitudinal associations between parenting and child personality.

First, parenting changed across time, which is consistent with results of previous studies (e.g., van den Akker et al., 2010).

The general trend was a decrease in parenting behaviors.

As children entered adolescence, parents became less involved in their children’s academic lives and provided less structure.

It is understandable that parents’ roles change during this period because adolescence is characterized by children’s striving for autonomy and independence.

The strongest decrease was in parental involvement in their child’s academics. (…)

Second, child personality also changed across time.

Children perceived themselves as less conscientious and less open to experience.

The decrease in child conscientiousness shows that adolescents were not developing in the direction of maturation, which is consistent with findings of previous research.

Another thing to note is that the rates of change and variability in change were modest, which is also consistent with past studies.

Third, surprisingly, there was a preponderance of statistically non-significant results when examining the associations among parenting practices and child personality.

After adjusting the alpha level using the conservative Bonferroni’s adjustment, only four correlations were statistically significant. (…)

Following their recommendations, it becomes clear that correlations between parenting and child personality are comparable to associations found between other environmental factors and child personality such as parental socioeconomic status and birth order, which are also small in magnitude.

On a related note, the fact that the cumulative evidence appears to point to a preponderance of small associations between different environmental factors and personality trait development should modify our thinking about how personality development comes about.

Instead of searching for a few large environmental factors that make or break our personalities, whether it is parenting, peers, or birth order, we should acknowledge that such factors with large effects probably do not exist.

Rather, evidence points to the fact that personality development is influenced by a large number of environmental factors, each of which makes a small contribution to children’s personality development.

This framework of personality development parallels the infinitesimal model in genetics, which is currently widely used in behavior genetics research.

Consensus is growing in genetics that phenotypes are influenced by a very large number of genes, that each has an infinitesimal contribution, rather than “candidate genes” that explain large amount of variance in the phenotype.

It appears that an analogous situation holds for personality development in childhood and adolescence.

When you want to get to know someone, a tried-and-true method is to look for commonalities to bond over. It is especially important to FJs(Fe) to feel as though the both of you are on the same page emotionally and in agreement regarding important (moral) beliefs and values.

ISTJ

5, p6, cp6, 9, 1, 3, 8, 4, 2, 7, sp/so, sp/sx, so/sp, sx/sp, so/sx, sx/so

ISFJ

2, p6, cp6, 9, 1, 3, 5, 4, 7, 8, sp/so, so/sp, sp/sx, so/sx, sx/sp, sx/so

INFJ

4, p6, 9, 1, 2, 3, 5, cp6, 7, 8, sp/so, so/sp, sp/sx, so/sx, sx/sp, sx/so

INTJ

5, p6, 9, 1, 3, cp6, 8, 4, 2, 7, sp/so, sp/sx, so/sp, sx/sp, so/sx, sx/so

ISTP

p6, cp6, 7, 9, 3, 5, 8, 4, 1, 2, sp/so, sp/sx, so/sp, sx/sp, sx/so, so/sx

ISFP

4, p6, 9, 3, 5, cp6, 7, 2, 8, 1, sp/so, so/sp, sx/sp, sp/sx, so/sx, sx/so

INFP

4, 5, p6, 9, cp6, 2, 3, 7, 1, 8, sp/so, so/sp, sp/sx, so/sx, sx/sp, sx/so

INTP

5, p6, cp6, 9, 3, 1, 2, 4, 7, 8, sp/so, sp/sx, so/sp, so/sx, sx/sp, sx/so

ESTP

cp6, 7, 8, 3, p6, 9, 1, 2, 4, 5, sp/so, so/sp, sx/sp, sx/so, sp/sx, so/sx

ESFP

3, 4, p6, cp6, 7, 9, 2, 8, 5, 1, sp/so, so/sp, so/sx, sx/so, sx/sp, sp/sx

ENFP

3, 4, p6, cp6, 7, 2, 9, 8, 5, 1, sp/so, so/sp, so/sx, sx/so, sx/sp, sp/sx

ENTP

5, p6, cp6, 7, 9, 3, 4, 8, 2, 1, sp/so, so/sp, sp/sx, sx/sp, sx/so, so/sx

ESTJ

3, p6, cp6, 1, 7, 8, 9, 4, 2, 5, sp/so, so/sp, sp/sx, sx/sp, so/sx, sx/so

ESFJ

2, 3, p6, cp6, 7, 9, 1, 4, 5, 8, sp/so, so/sp, so/sx, sx/so, sp/sx, sx/sp

ENFJ

2, 3, p6, cp6, 1, 7, 9, 4, 5, 8, sp/so, so/sp, so/sx, sx/sp, sx/so, sp/sx

ENTJ

3, p6, cp6, 8, 9, 1, 7, 2, 4, 5, sp/so, so/sp, sp/sx, sx/sp, so/sx, sx/so

Very common, nothing unusal

Not as common, still absolutely possible

Uncommon, but not unheard of

Rare, high chance of being mistyped

Related answers:

1) welcome back! You were missed! 2) Do you think certain MBTI types are prone to certain problematic behaviors and 3) if so which ones really bother you or you dislike?

As an ENTJ what do you appreciate about the other MBTI types?

By perceiving function:

High Ne (ENFP, ENTP, INFP, INTP): Flaky and unreliable. Struggles with consistency, follow through, and discipline. Prone to being impractical and unrealistic. Quitters.

High Se (ESFP, ESTP, ISFP, ISTP): Short-sighted and superficial. Struggles with seeing the big picture and underlying connections. Prone to optimizing for short-term benefits over long-term gains. Reckless.

High Ni (INTJ, INFJ, ENTJ, ENFJ): Vague and unrealistic. Struggles with concrete details and constraints needed to make their ideas work. Prone to perfectionism and delusions of grandeur. Know-it-alls.

High Si (ISTJ, ISFJ, ESTJ, ESFJ): Concrete and rigid. Struggles with deviating from tried and true methods. Prone to dismissing novel ideas as unrealistic, annoying, and unwelcomed; risk averse to a fault. Killjoys.

By judging function:

High Fe (ESFJ, ENFJ, ISFJ, INFJ): Scripted and impersonal. Struggles with nuance, exceptions, and subjectivity to standard and expected behaviors ('social norms'). Prone to passive aggression and messiah complexes. Pushovers.

High Fi (INFP, ISFP, ENFP, ESFP): Subjective and rigid. Struggles with compromise and perceiving everything systematic as an attack on individuality, freedom, and creativity. Prone to martyr complexes. Victims.

High Te (ESTJ, ENTJ, ISTJ, INTJ): Systematic and impersonal. Struggles with nuance, exceptions, subjectivity to standard thinking ('common sense') and the unpredictable things that make humans-- human. Prone to impatience. Bulldozers.

“Cold Whispers” by | Michael Schulte

i have this thing that i'm prone to be "therapist" to my friends even though they didn't ask me to i just feel like that's the only thing i'm good at like listening and having "deep" conversations but recently that mask isn't enough for me and i get really frustrated cuz i don't care enough about what they say and can't say that to them.

…

I won’t do specifically sx, since that’s not my area of expertise.

It’s best to look at the triads – 5 is from the withdrawn triad, along with 4 and 9, which means it has more in common with those numbers than with 7 – all the withdrawn types are “repressed doers,” meaning they are rarely proactive, and spend a lot of time thinking, dwelling inside their minds, or gathering info, without feeling driven to either do anything with it or “take action on my behalf.” It doesn’t occur to them that problems are theirs to solve proactively – so 5s being “doing repressed” leads them to often accumulate vast storehouses of information, without contumaciously doing much with it. They are the typical “one day, I will write a book” dreamers who don’t get around to actually writing the book; or if they do, it takes them a long time, and it’s incredibly detailed and thick, because they’ve spent 20 years studying this one thing myopically. When 5s use their line to 7, they uncharacteristically become impulsive, avoidant, and proactive, fearful of missing out rather than their usual contentment at “observing” rather than “participating” in things. 5s compartmentalize their feelings and deal with them in private, but are also negative by default. Using their line to 7 also teaches them not to be as self-restricting and have such a “slim” life.

7s are from the assertive triad along with 3 and 8, which means they are all highly energetic, driven, ambitious, and don’t let people or problems stand in the way of getting what they want. They are repressed “feelers,” which means they shunt their emotions off to one side and ignore them in pursuit of constant activity. They are proactive and always on the move, constantly doing things, going places, meeting people, getting bored, and losing focus. 7s are the types to study something briefly, assume they are an expert, set themselves up in a position of authority, and then burn out two months later because it’s boring to go back and learn what they missed, and they are on to some new activity. Unlike the 5 who can dig deep to unearth the hidden secrets behind their interest (and know the things no one else knows about them, because they exhausted the depths of research and the internet), the 7 has broad interests, a short attention span, and flits between things. They start writing a book, get halfway done, find a new activity, and abandon it, leaving it a string of unfinished projects in their wake – or a string of relationships, job positions, activities, etc. When the 7 uses their growth line to 5, they learn that excess is not always for the best, to slow down and stick with things for more than five minutes, and that they don’t have to be constantly on the run. 7s also ignore their feelings, or re-frame everything to cast them in a positive light since they are “positive” types.