oya oya?

Osamu was surrounded in black. Something soft was under his hands but no matter what he did he couldn’t see anything. He squirmed, chest tightening when he couldn’t speak.

He tried to cry out, tried to move, looking for his brother. He writhed, trying to get his body to respond as panic started to fill him. Still, he couldn’t move, couldn’t breathe.

“Osamu?” A voice seemed to cut through the darkness but it wasn’t Atsumu’s voice. Osamu didn’t know who it was, he couldn’t see or move. He was always in bed by himself or Atsumu.

Where was he? Where was Atsumu? Why wasn’t his brother coming to help him?

Terror clawed at his heart and he struggled to breathe as the salty taste of tears hit his lips.

“Osamu!” The voice came again, sterner and Osamu jolted up, eyes snapping open. He stared at Aran’s face for a second without really seeing him, confusion and panic flooding through him.

Osamu spun, catching sight of silver hair from Shinsuke on his side and Lady on Aran’s right but Atsumu was nowhere to be found. He shoved off the hands trying to comfort him, desperate to find his brother.

Atsumu wouldn’t leave him right? Atsumu had promised to be there for him. He said he would fight anyone trying to take him away no matter what. Atsumu wouldn’t leave him for anyone, not Shinsuke, not Aran, not Shinji. Atsumu wouldn't. Atsumu wouldn’t.

“ ‘Tsumu!” The cry finally broke from followed by a loud sob. “ ‘Tsumu! ‘Tsumu!”

“ ‘Samu?” Atsumu’s voice yawned as his head popped up from between Shinsuke and Lady. He’d been tucked rather tightly against Shinsuke’s chest and seemed more than a little bit confused.

He crawled over Shinsuke as the man started to wake up himself. Osamu was flying at him the moment Atsumu was close enough to be tackled into a hug. Osamu sobbed as he held onto his brother as tightly as he could, only clinging harder at Atsumu’s yelp of his name.

“ ‘Samu? ‘Samu what happened?” Atsumu whined, looking close to tears himself and in a heartbeat he was sobbing too as he hugged his brother back.

“I couldn’t... move..” Every break was racked with another sob from Osamu, “then I couldn’t breathe… and I… I woke up… you were gone… I couldn’t find you… Thought you left me… Don’t leave me ‘Tsumu… Please don’t leave me.”

Atsumu clung to his brother, shaking his head and wrapping himself around him as if to help him hide from the world.

“ ‘m never going to leave you ‘Samu, never ever.” Atsumu promised, eyes pressed shut even as tears slipped out bit by bit.

“Thought someone… someone took…” Osamu choked on the words, rocking in his brother’s arms as the panic started to overwhelm him.

“Osamu, breathe in.” Shinsuke said, sitting up slightly as the fog in his eyes started to fade. “Seven seconds, breathe with me and Atsumu.”

Osamu gulped in a breath, barely reaching the full time. Atsumu tried to rub his back like he’d seen Shinsuke do, breathing in time with Shinsuke. Aran shifted slowly to sit up, but Osamu didn’t even seem to notice, too busy holding onto Atsumu like a lifeline.

Nearly half an hour passed before Osamu was able to blink open his eyes tiredly at Shinsuke. He glanced over his shoulder, staring at Aran’s concerned face for a moment before releasing his brother. He fell back against Aran’s chest instead, half on his lap.

“I don’t like bad dreams.” He mumbled, a yawn breaking from him. “I thought… Maybe…”

Guilt was written across his face and he shrunk down slightly, pawing for Atsumu’s hand to hold. He wouldn’t look at Shinsuke though, even when Shinsuke sat up more to watch him, stroking Lady’s back to keep her from tackling the kids and licking them to cheer them up.

“Maybe… Shinsuke had given Atsumu away to Aran when I fell asleep last night.” His head hung down low with shame. “I’m sorry…”

“Oh little one.” Shinsuke whispered softly, moving closer. “Is this alright?”

He waited until Osamu was nodding before he kicked out of the blanket and pulled Atsumu onto his lap so he could sit knee to knee with Aran. Atsumu instantly grabbed Aran’s shirt too, as if to keep him from going away.

“There’s no need to be sorry, Osamu.” Shinsuke soothed softly, “You had a nightmare, it’s okay to be scared after that. But there’s no need to worry about Atsumu being given away on his own-”

“I don’t want to leave you though!” Osamu blurted, freezing and patting with his free hand until it could wrap around Lady’s collar. “I wanna stay with Aran, but I wanna stay with you too but I don’t know if you w-want us or… or… or…”

Aran gently rubbed Osamu’s back, letting the child shake as he stared at Shinsuke. He gave Shinsuke a pointed look over their heads but Shinsuke didn’t need it. Seeing Aran in such a vulnerable spot with his kid on his lap though, definitely set Shinsuke’s heart to beat a little harder though.

“No, Osamu that isn’t what I meant.” Shinsuke explained softly, his hand not on Lady’s fur moving to stroke through Atsumu’s hair. The child sighed softly, flopping back against his chest and tilting his head up to stare at him with wide eyes.

“I was going to wait until breakfast time, but I suppose five am works too.” Shinsuke hummed softly, the slightest curve of his lip appearing at Atsumu’s almost timed yawn. “I know, when you spoke to Oomimi you told him you didn’t want to be adopted by me-”

This time Atsumu was the one to shrink down, his own guilt and panic overtaking the almost peaceful look he’d had on his face. He hadn’t meant to make Shinsuke upset then, he just thought that Shinsuke would be happier with them gone. He wouldn’t have been so stressed or busy.

“But, I also know that was a very stressful and bad day,” Shinsuke continued, leaning his head down just enough to press a kiss to Atsumu’s forehead. “And I wanted to ask you now.”

Atsumu’s eyes widened immeasurably as he stared up at Shinsuke. His grip on his brother’s hand tightened and both of the twins’ eyes were locked on Shinsuke.

“You and Aran are going to get married again and keep us!” Atsumu blurted before Shinsuke could open his mouth. Of course that was why Aran said he would keep them before! Because he and Shinsuke we’re getting back together after Aran moved to France and Aran was keeping it a surprise! Just like the birthday party!

Osamu had to let go of Lady to hold onto Aran’s knee as his chair started to laugh. Aran tried to hold it back, desperately pinching his lips shut but he couldn’t. Laughter broke from him as he wrapped an arm around Osamu to keep him from being bounced around, a wide grin on both of their faces.

“Keep you, yes, Aran and I….” Shinsuke said delicately, chuckling quietly himself. “I was-”

“ ‘Tsumu you dummy.” Osamu interrupted, moving to swipe at his brother’s face playfully. “They gotta learn to walk in their ice skates before they get married. They haven’t been skatin’ cuz they’ve been with us.”

“Ohhh, right! Can we go ice skating so you can get married and keep us?” Atsumu said, nodding his head to the clear logic of his brother’s words.

Aran was nearly wheezing with laughter, Osamu more than a little happy to be shaken as Aran tried to calm himself. It worked for a few seconds before he caught sight of Shinsuke’s unamused stare and raised eyebrow and the laughter broke out again.

Shinsuke’s lips quirked up in response and he pressed them together, looking away before Aran dragged him into a laughing fit. It definitely didn’t help the soft warmth slowly building in his chest as he looked down at his two boys clearly excited.

“Atsumu, Osamu, would you like to be adopted by me?” Shinsuke asked, watching in amusement as Lady started to crawl her way between them as if trying to hold Osamu down from the force of the still laughing Aran.

He wasn’t prepared for the onslaught of two excitable six year olds launching themselves at him and trying to scramble up towards his face. He squeaked as he fell back, feeling two hands wrap around his wrists and tug him back up.

Aran’s smiling face greeted him as the boys scrambled over him, trying to hug his neck and each other at the same time. Shinsuke shifted, waiting for Lady to move herself onto Aran’s lap instead before he was leaning against Aran’s shoulder.

“I don’t think you have a few years to make me wait,” Aran teased him lightly, “You might have another forty five seconds before they start asking about ice skating again though.”

Shinsuke tossed him a fake glare, wrapping his arms around the boys and nuzzling the hair under his nose. He closed his eyes for a moment, just taking in a breath to revel in the moment. His boys. All three of them. Right here with him. No one was going anywhere, they were a family even if the last bit of the puzzle was going to take some time to put together.

“I know you taught them that, what does it even mean?” Shinsuke grumbled, blinking when Osamu sat up suddenly and let go of Shinsuke’s neck.

“Oh! Oh! I know. Can I tell him? Please Aran?” Osamu begged, reaching over to pat at Aran until he was sure he was being paid attention to. Aran was going to have to talk to the Matsukawa’s about their cat teaching his kids how to beg for attention.

“Sure, darling, go ahead.” Aran hummed, settling in to hear what he assumed was going to be a ridiculous version of what he’d told the boys days ago.

“Okay, okay, so!” Osamu started, happily holding onto the collar of Aran’s shirt. “There’s lotsa steps to ice skate. Ya gotta go to the place, then you gotta walk around, then you gotta check your feet and make sure they’re… feet. Then you get your shoes, and you put them on and then you gotta tie them and that’s super hard, I needed help but ‘Tsumu was really good at it… and….”

He blinked, trying to remember what he had been talking about, then grinned again.

“Then you have to walk in them and ‘Tsumu isn’t good at that, then you have to step on the ice and it’s super super scary but since Aran-kun will be there it’s not so scary. Then you gotta learn to skate! And Tooru-san and Hajime-san and Issei-san and Taka-san all had each other and learned to ice skate like… a bajillion years ago, that’s why they’re married!”

Shinsuke kept the smile on his face but he had absolutely no idea what was just said to him.

“Ah… Thank you for that explanation, Osamu. Perhaps Aran and I will… try to go ice skating and… learn to walk in them?” He said cautiously but it seemed to be the right thing to do because Osamu brightened and Atsumu’s hold got tighter.

“Okay boys, if we’re not going to go to bed again, we need to eat-”

“Cake!” Atsumu and Osamu shouted together, making both adults wince.

“No.” Aran said sternly, watching them deflate with exaggerated pouts. “Cake is for after dinner, five… six thirty now, is time for breakfast. Why don’t you go get the rice started?”

The boys gasped, thrilled to be allowed to ‘make’ something on their own and scrambled to get off the bed. Lady leaped out of Aran’s lap, smacking him in the face with her tail, and followed after them cheerfully.

“.... Aran did you teach my kids about dating by using ice skating as a metaphor?” Shinsuke asked, quirking an eyebrow over at his best friend.

“... That… was perhaps something I did. Unless you wanted me to try and explain to a six year old that sometimes people aren’t ready to date. Because they’re six and they don’t understand the concept of ‘not ready’ for anything beyond dinner.” Aran said simply, but he still wasn’t looking Shinsuke in the eye. It only took a second for Shinsuke to realize that Aran was laughing.

“Are you-”

“When’s the wedding, Shin? I want to coordinate the boys’ outfits.” Aran teased, a loud laugh exploding from him at Shinsuke’s offended expression.

“I have seen the clothes you wear, you are not choosing the wedding outfits or colors or anything beyond food to be completely honest. You’d go with the ugliest colors just to see who died first, me or Tooru.” Shinsuke bumped their shoulders together, rolling his eyes at the second laugh that bubbled out of him. “Get out of my bed. I don’t want anything to do with you anymore. I’m telling the kids you died and we’re keeping Lady.”

Aran rolled his eyes, grabbing the blanket and chucking it over Shinsuke’s head. Shinsuke wrestled free, giving him a half glare as his hair stuck up in every direction.

“I’m going to help our kids make breakfast.” Aran said sweetly, copying Shinsuke’s attitude from the night before, already sliding out of the bed as a pillow was chucked at his back.

“Aran.” Shinsuke shouted after him, but Aran could hear his soft laugh. Relaxed and at peace, Aran knew that laugh and he’d missed it far too much.

“If we’re getting married, I want a divorce.” Shinsuke deadpanned as he was kicked in the shoulder on accident. Osamu gasped from his spot on Aran’s shoulders as they walked down the street, heading towards the park.

His small hands smacked Aran’s cheeks in an attempt to hold on and get his attention.

“Aran are you going to be okay? You’re still going to visit right?” He whined and Aran hushed him softly, reaching up to hold Osamu’s hands instead.

“Shinsuke’s just being cranky because I won’t let him hold Lady’s leash.” Aran soothed, squeezing his hand and looking over to where Atsumu was very carefully walking Lady beside him. Though from the way Lady kept her head turned toward Atsumu and nudged him carefully around any gaps in the road, Aran was pretty sure she was walking Atsumu.

“... That’s a good reason to be cranky.” Atsumu said, staring down at the sidewalk to keep from tripping and Lady tugged him away from a light post. Aran hummed in amusement, letting go of Osamu for a moment to tuck Atsumu closer to his hip instead of the edge of the sidewalk.

“I’m not cranky.” Shinsuke said, sounding mildly cranky but Aran could see the humor in his eyes.

“He’s very, very cranky.” Aran assured the twins, smiling over at Shinsuke’s eye roll. “But once we get to the park I’m sure he’ll be fine.”

“Don’t worry Shinsuke-san.” Osamu chirped, waving Aran’s hands in the air theatrically. “We’ll have lots of fun and then you’ll smile- like that! Aran, Aran! He smiled.”

Shinsuke was indeed smiling, and this time he wasn't trying to suppress it. He let it grow until it was comfortable on his face, shaking his head fondly at the gasps from each of them. He took a few steps ahead of them, stepping into the gated park and checking for any other dogs. Like he suspected, there were no other dogs so early in the morning.

He could hear shuffling behind him and seconds later Osamu and Atsumu were running past, Lady jogging quietly behind them.

“Sorry, they got excited.” Aran chuckled, eyes already scanning the park and relaxing when there was no sign of anything that could distract Lady. She was well trained, but she was, afterall, a dog.

“I can see that.” Shinsuke hummed quietly, watching the boys as they made their way over.

“... Shinsuke, are you still grumpy I didn’t let you hold Lady’s leash?” Aran asked, voice soft with apology but as soon as Shinsuke turned to look at him, he could see the laughter in his eyes. Aran was struggling not to laugh and Shinsuke shook his head at him.

“Why do the boys think we’re married? You’re clearly just harassing me, there’s absolutely no love here.” Shinsuke said, keeping his face neutral.

“Don’t start that. The boys may think you hung the moon but I’m well aware you’re a devil. I’ve been with you since you were fifteen remember?” 

“Yes I do, every minute.” Shinsuke said softly, tilting his head up to blink prettily up at him. Aran’s cheek burned red and he gaped at Shinsuke for a moment before it settled into a half hearted glare instead.

“How you manage to be so sweet but devious at the same time blows my mind, every single time.” Aran sighed, shaking his head and bumping his shoulders into Shinsuke’s at the sight of the amused smile returning.

They walked a few more steps, eyes on the boys chasing each other around with Lady herding them away from the half frozen lake. They were laughing and cheering and Shinsuke couldn’t say he’d ever felt more at peace, more at home, then right now.

He stepped to the right, fingers dancing at the edge of Aran’s palm before Aran’s hand moved to intertwine their fingers. He flicked his eyes up to Aran’s, taking in the softness around his own eyes and the curve of his mouth in an easy smile. He looked happy, incredibly happy.

“Aran… Remember what I said before?” Shinsuke asked softly, finding himself unable to stare at him any longer until the words were out. “About… waiting...I know I need to, but I don’t want to raise these boys without you… If you are willing… to go… rather slow… probably unnaturally slow for most people… Why don’t we go ice skating next week? I have Thursday off next.”

Aran’s lips were curved in a smile when Shinsuke felt them press against his temple.

“Toldja before, Shin. I’m here, as long as it takes.” Aran said against his skin and Shinsuke could feel the affection in his words. “We can take breaks too, the boys come first after all.” 

Shinsuke didn’t disagree, but he also couldn’t help but think that they’d been rather glued to the hip since the break down last week. It didn’t feel like he was changing anything to be with Aran, nothing he wasn’t already changing for the boy’s atleast. Baby steps though, were just fine with him. Like Osamu had said, you had to learn to walk in skates before you got on the ice.

It didn’t have to be a date but Shinsuke wanted to spend more time with Aran regardless. Besides, ice skating gave him more excuses to hang off of Aran’s arm and guilt him into buying drinks.

“Shinsuke-san!” Atsumu’s voice made them both perk up, looking over at the child. His bruises had healed and he looked as cheerful and happy as any kid their age should be.

“We found a duck! Hurry up.” Osamu echoed beside him, pointing at the small herd of ducks settling on the icy water.

Aran and Shinsuke shared a soft laugh, picking up speed a little but not enough for the twins.

“Touchan!” They hollered together, pointing at the ducks with clear excitement.

Shinsuke stumbled on the snow but the hand in his kept him up and he moved a little faster, the warmth in his chest spreading throughout all of him. He almost thought he’d pass out from the overwhelming emotion but all he could do was hurry to his boys. His boys.

His family.

“Promise me you’ll never celebrate my birthday.” Shinsuke’s dry voice made Aran laugh as he looked around the room. It was covered from the ceiling to the wood flooring with streamers and balloons, wrapping paper was gliding happily over the floor every time one of the kids ran past. Lady was happily on the tile of the kitchen floor, accepting attention from everyone who passed and licking the ankles of every child.

They had all invaded Shinsuke’s home as soon as the birthday party had been confirmed and Friday came. It wasn’t just the kids either, everyone in the shop and the Matsukawa’s had insisted on coming as well, not even mentioning Oomimi and Akagi.

“Can’t promise that… But I’ll make it a lot smaller.” Aran said back, leaning a little more comfortably against the wall. Hitoshi took off suddenly, Osamu hot on his tail, only to yelp as he slipped on wrapping paper. Aran and Shinsuke both jolted forward only to relax again as Hajime caught the child without even looking, lifting Hitoshi up with one arm and swinging him in between himself and Asahi so Osamu wouldn’t slam into him.

“Boys! What did we say about running?” Tooru’s voice called from where he was being held down for Shirofuki’s lesson to Rintaro and Akira about how to match clothes together. “Pick up the wrapping paper at the very least, thank you.”

Hitoshi and Osamu both looked appropriately admonished, especially Hitoshi who was still clinging to Hajime’s arm from his fall. Osamu turned back to start picking up the wrapping paper, then he paused.

“Oh there it goes.” Shinsuke sighed, voice incredibly fond. “Cain instinct.”

“The what-” Aran turned to ask only to look back at the sound of loud crackling and saw Osamu crunching the wrapping paper into small balls and chucking them at his brother’s back. “Ah.”

Atsumu squealed, diving behind Shigeru for protection, glowering at his brother. It was only for a few more seconds before Atsumu was moving to tackle his brother, trying to shove the wrapping paper into his shirt and both of them scrambled for each piece to attack each other with. Hitoshi just watched in absolute fascination, not even noticing when he was released from Hajime’s hold.

“They’ve calmed down a lot since they went out with you on Tuesday.” Shinsuke commented, carefully sneaking a glance over at Aran. Almost immediately Aran’s face shifted with guilt, and Shinsuke told his anxiety to quiet itself.

“And I know Atsumu told Osamu a secret the next morning and ever since then, they haven’t been worried about anything.” Shinsuke continued, moving his gaze back to the boys and Shinji trying to wriggle his way in between them despite Rintaro’s calls for them to keep fighting. Shinji was currently just trying to hug them into submission and it was, amusingly, seemingly working.

“Ah…” Aran sighed, breathing in slowly and letting it out again. “I’d apologize but I’m not sorry…”

Aran straightened his back as he turned to look at Shinsuke, brown eyes filled with so much more emotion then they had any right to be. Shinsuke tilted his head up, waiting patiently for him to continue. There was no point in speculating, if Aran had ever been in the habit of lying Shinsuke would have never been his friend much less fallen in love with him.

“I told Atsumu that if you didn’t want to adopt him and Osamu that I would. I’m assuming that’s what he told Osamu about.” Aran said, though the guilt lingered at the corner of his downturned mouth his eyes were bright with a resolute will.

Shinsuke didn’t say anything for a moment, wondering if it was the wrong moment to kiss Aran. Probably. The urge still lingered, however.

“Was there a particular reason? Or did you just want it to be known?” Shinsuke kept his voice neutral, watching the flicker of recognition in Aran’s eyes. He wasn’t upset, he wasn’t blaming Aran or angry he told them, but he was curious. Aran wasn’t the type to just tell people how he felt, he preferred to show it until he had no other choice.

“You weren’t certain if you could handle the boys even though you wanted them, and Asumu was panicking about being sent away. So I told him the truth, if for any reason you couldn’t or wouldn’t adopt them, they weren’t going to be sent away. I’d adopt them.”

“Ah, I should have guessed that… I’m going to ask them, after the party, if they’d like to stay with me. I don’t want them to stress about it right now, let them have their fun. But I’ve changed quite a few things the last few days, and I’ve been better for it, better for them.” Shinsuke informed him, heart turning to liquid at the same time it started to beat rapidly at the sweet affection on Aran’s face. His warm brown eyes softened as the guilt finally dripped from his lips and he was smiling so soft and small that Shinsuke wanted to kiss him to make it bigger.

“I noticed. I’m proud of you.” Aran murmured softly and Shinsuke hummed in response, not fully trusting himself to speak. “When I came home, you were on edge like you were waiting for a giant shoe to finally fall and crush you. Now… You’ve smiled six times in the last hour and honestly I think it’s a world record, has Akagi given you your award yet?”

Shinsuke shoved him away, rolling his eyes at the tease. Aran took a step back graciously, laughing heartily and drawing the attention of Osamu and Atsumu. They paused in their mutual shirt stuffing of the wrapping paper into a wriggling Shinji’s shirt, glancing at each other and then the adults as if thinking they caused it. Staring at the two, Atsumu shoved two wrapping paper balls in Shinji’s shirt again, making him squeal at the cold material and swat at both of them.

“Atsumu, don’t kill your friend.” Shinsuke said but he couldn’t stop his own chuckle, laughing a little harder when they both responded by covering Shinji with more wrapping paper. Much more and Shinji would be buried beneath a mountain, but he didn’t seem particularly distressed.

“You should go get your kids under control.” Aran chuckled and Shinsuke stepped forward only to toss an innocent look over his shoulder.

“I’ll get them if you can clean up our kids mess.” Shinsuke said easily, turning away and moving to hustle the boys off of each other as Aran seemed to break down behind him.

“Shinsuke.” Aran whined, only managing to move forward as Shinsuke removed his twins from Shinji’s new grave and shooed them off to join Takahiro and Hitoshi for more cake.

“Atsumu~ How’s your first birthday party?” Shinji asked, sitting comfortably on Takahiro’s lap as wrapping paper pieces were tugged off of him from where the tape had stuck.

Atsumu wasn’t quite sure how to say he’d literally never been more excited in his life so he just grinned and hugged the stuffed cat he’d gotten from Akira tightly to his chest. He looked up as a hand descended into his hair for a moment, watching Shinsuke continue on his path to the kitchen to help Oomimi with dishes.

He didn’t know what changed, not really, but Shinsuke was a lot more like he had been when they first met. Honest and firm, but kind and gentle. He didn’t seem so stressed anymore and Atsumu was pretty sure it was because of Aran, no matter what Aran said Atsumu knew they had to be married at this point. If his husband was in France for years, he’d be really tired and sad like Shinsuke had been the week before. But now he was okay and happy again!

Fear and apprehension still bubbled in his stomach, knowing that Shinsuke still might not want them… But if he was really married to Aran and Aran said he loved Atsumu and Osamu, then Shinsuke probably did too.

Or at least that’s what his six year old mind told him to keep him from feeling like he was going to start crying when he thought of Shinsuke trying to give them away again.

“I really like my presents! I didn’t know you got cool things for bein’ born.” He said when Shinji started to wriggle impatiently. “Like my new kitty!”

“Princess!” Akira chirped, hands waving at the toy he’d picked out for Atsumu that did indeed look like the Matsukawa family cat.

“Yes sweetie, you can see Princess later, you wanted Atsumu to keep the small Princess remember?” Tooru said from where he was holding Akira hostage behind them on the couch. He and Takahiro had been chosen to watch the kids while the remaining adults cleaned up the mess caused by half a dozen six year olds and an overly excited Akira who believed in destruction.

“Boo.” Akira huffed, turning and waving his hands at Osamu this time. “Oniisan. Oniisan.”

He chanted, shoving Shigeru’s face with a whine when Shigeru tried to grab him. He flapped his hands at Osamu again, even more aggressively.

“Oniisan.” He said, turning to stare at his dad before pointing at Osamu. “Oniisan.”

“Well that’s rude.” Shigeru huffed, ignoring his father’s amused smile as Akira was lowered to the ground and allowed to waddle over to Osamu until he could face plant onto his lap and close his eyes for a nap. Shigeru gave him a few seconds of peace before he flopped onto his side and laid his head on Akira’s back.

“That’s rude.” Shinji giggled, leaning back against Takahiro as Hitoshi tried to push Rintaro down to get his own spot to nap.

“I’m not a pillow.” Rintaro insisted, swatting the hands coming at his face with a whine.

“Rin-kun, I’m tired.” Hitoshi insisted. “Why can Shigeru nap but you’re just mean to me? You let him nap on you on the way over, do you like him more than me?”

“What? No, of course no- ah!” Rintaro froze at the accusation and Hitoshi immediately used it to shove him over and flop over his stomach. “You’re a bully, Hitoshi-kun. You can fight your own fights now.”

“Mmmnope.” Hitoshi yawned, blinking like a happy cat to Atsumu. “Wait, everyone gets to snuggle ‘cept ‘Tsum.”

The younger child was starting to sit up, looking genuinely worried as Atsumu waved the cat toy.

“No, I have Princess-” He fell backwards as something dove into him and the rest of the group burst into giggles at the sight of Shinji giving Atsumu one of his infamous hugs. “I have Shinji too.”

“Your kids are mean.” Takahiro told Tooru, looking down at his now empty lap. Tooru just laughed, waving him over and tugging him onto the couch with him.

“Funny, I was about to say the same thing. Also that you forgot to tell us you adopted Osamu.”

“Oh no, that was fully Akira, he signed the birthday card himself to make it official.” Takahiro hummed, leaning in to rub their noses together as a chorus of ‘ew’s rose up from the kids. “Oh hush or you’re not getting anymore goodnight kisses from me.”

Shigeru and Shinji instantly clamped their hands around their own mouths, leaving Akira to mumble in his sleep as Osamu awkwardly tried to pet his hair like Shinsuke did for him.

“I want a goodnight kiss! That would be the best birthday gift.” Atsumu gasped, blinking at the two adults as they seemed to wince. “What is it-”

A loud squeal erupted from him as two wet kisses were smushed into his cheeks on either side from the eldest Matsukawa boys. Atsumu giggled, not able to hear what Tooru and Takahiro were saying before they were laughing.

“Me next!” Hitoshi gasped, sitting up and elbowing Rintaro in his haste.

“No! I don’t want kisses-”

“Rin-kun wants kisses too! It’s night time, all the good night kisses!” Hitoshi insisted, loud shrieks of laughter erupting from the group as Shigeru and Shinji dragged Atsumu over to help hold Rintaro down despite his half-hearted whines.

“Okay… I’ll claim that habit, that was me.” Takahiro hummed, pressing a kiss to his partner’s forehead as they watched to make sure no one pushed anyone too far even for affection.

“I think the best birthday present would be parents.” Osamu said, rather lost in thought as his hand patted up and down on Akira’s head. Takahiro shot a pointed glance at Tooru, grumbling when he got a gentle nuzzle to his cheek instead.

“Just be patient, Osamu, I don’t think you have to wait for that much longer.” Tooru said, watching the child’s eyes slide over them to the kitchen. A wide smile started to spread over his face and he looked back to Tooru.

“I think so too!” He chirped, returning to his rhythmic patting of Akira’s head. “Aran and Shinsuke-san just need to walk, ice skating is really hard after all!”

Aran didn’t lift the arm from his eyes as a weight settled beside him.

“Didja finally manage to wrangle him in?” Aran asked, tucking the passed out Atsumu more comfortably against his chest.

“Passed out as soon as I picked him up, Lady helped.” Shinsuke’s voice came from his side before his head was settling onto Aran’s shoulder.

The volleyball player let his arm drop, wrapping it around Shinsuke’s shoulders and gently stroking over Osamu’s hair as the child snuffled in his sleep. Shinsuke yawned, eyes half shut as he tilted his head up to blink prettily up at Aran.

“... I’m glad I don’t have to go to work tomorrow.” Is all he said and Aran snorted, amused at the bright silver eyes taking him in. “What’re you doin’ tomorrow?”

“Mm, not much, it’s my day off too. I was going to let Lady go to the park with me, but that’s all… But I’m open for whatever you want.”

“I could be asking for you to be a nude model.” Shinsuke pointed out and Aran had to stifle another laugh to keep from waking up the boys.

“Oh yeah? And how are you planning on keeping the boys entertained during that?”

“... You make a good point… When were you planning on taking Lady out?” Shinsuke said, glancing over at the patter of paws as Lady moved over to sniff at them after hearing her name so much. She sniffled at Atsumu’s feet before sliding down to relax against the bottom of the couch.

“Mm, about seven or eight… When do the boys get up?” Aran tilted his head until he could just barely nose at Shinsuke’s hair and Shinsuke shifted even closer. He pressed a kiss there instead, too tired to care about pretending when Shinsuke didn’t care.

“Sevenish, though they may sleep in a little…. Mind if we tag along?”

Aran didn’t bother to tell him that he’d do anything to spend the day with the boys. He just pressed another kiss to his head and hummed in agreement.

“I should get going… Otherwise I’m going to fall asleep on the way home.” Aran sighed, already shifting to get up when an arm wrapped around him.

“Aran. We’re adults. You can sleep in the bed with me…” They both glanced at Atsumu’s loud whine at being shifted before he managed to wrap his arms fully around Aran’s neck. “Mmmkay, sleep in the bed with the three of us.”

Shinsuke didn’t bother to hide his lap, eyes half shut as his arm released Aran to pat at the bottom of the couch until Lady licked his hand.

“Four of us.” He amended and Aran chuckled.

“Do I need to carry the four of you to bed then?”

“Mmhmm… Soon, I would hope, otherwise I’m blaming you for my back pain.” Shinsuke mumbled, mechanically stroking Lady’s fur.

“And mine? For carrying you?”

“Mmm… ask me again in a month. When we’ve had the kids for a bit, might be ready to kiss you then… I think I just need a month… Adjust ‘n everythin’.” Shinsuke said into Aran’s shoulder as he tried to hold him again when Aran started to move.

“... I’ll give you eternity either way.” Aran murmured into his hair, pressing a final kiss there before pulling Atsumu free from his neck. It took some coaxing to get him to hold onto the pillow instead, but eventually Aran was able to get him off and slip Osamu from Shinsuke. He took hold of Atsumu again, wincing as his beard was grabbed.

The trip was fast, Lady trotting after them to jump onto the bed and curl around the twins. Then Aran was back, slipping his arms around Shinsuke’s back and under his legs before lifting. Shinsuke nuzzled into the hold, another yawn dragging one from Aran.

“Remind me… to ask the boys tomorrow… Got t’busy tonight… Not putting it off… just tired.” Shinsuke mumbled into his neck, clearly letting go of everything, even his own discipline to leave Aran in charge.

“I will. Now go ahead and sleep.” Aran murmured, carrying him to the bed and barely managing to crawl in himself and tuck the blankets up when the twins were moving. They seemed only awake enough to move toward the closest heat source, scrambling over Shinsuke until they were half laid across both of the adults.

“What’re ya making?” Atsumu asked, pressing up against his brother as he listened to the whirring of the mixer in front of them. Shigeru glanced over at them, looking a little confused as the machine stopped and Issei pulled the attachment back and offered the bowl to the silver haired child.

“ ‘Tsa birthday cake, didn’t you see the order?” Shigeru said, carrying the bowl over to the table the twins were leaning against. He lowered it down in front of the baking pan and grabbed for the picture with a scribbled order under it.

“See?” He pointed at the picture of a cake with a soccer ball on it.

“Maybe they can’t re… read.” Akira’s voice piped up, quiet and nearly unheard but Shigeru’s head shot toward him immediately with a glare.

“You can’t talk… and you’re supposed to be with Tatay!” Shigeru’s voice pitched into a whine as he turned to his father. “Touchan! You said I got to help make the cake, why is ‘kira here?”

Issei struggled to not make his amusement clear as he watched Akira waddle his way closer. The four-year-old turned to stare at Shigeru and latched onto Osamu’s leg, wrapping himself around it.

“.... Fine, he can stay.” Shigeru huffed as Osamu bent himself over to try and hug Akira back. Issei snorted out a laugh, turning away to hide it at Shigeru’s suspicious look. There were few ways to inform your six-year old that you weren’t planning on removing their brother anyways.

“What’sa birthday cake?” Osamu chirped, pulling Akira up as much as he could until the four-year-old was dangling in the air. Atsumu whined as he was kicked in the knee but after a second Akira was safely wrapped around Osamu’s chest like a koala.

Issei and Shigeru were both just staring at the twins though, Shigeru’s mouth hanging open.

“What do you-” Issei started softly before Shigeru interrupted him.

“You don’t know what birthday cakes are?!” He shrieked, looking more than a little horrified. Osamu glanced at Atsumu, shrinking away from the other child until they were pressed against each other for comfort and Akira was clutching on tightly in response to the mood shift.

“Uh… yes we do… we just… forgot?” Atsumu squeaked, clearly lying.

“Shigeru, calm down. They’ve lived different lives than you.” Issei gently pat Shigeru’s shoulder, giving the twins an understanding look. “Have you not celebrated your birthday’s before?”

“Uh, yes?” Osamu said at the same time as Atsumu shook his head.

“We’re usually at the hospital or the police station when our birthday comes around,” Atsumu said after a moment, glancing at his brother who squeezed the four-year-old in his arms a little harder. “Are… are you supposed to celebrate it?”

“Yes.” Issei said simply, hand moving to cover Shigeru’s mouth as he started to scream about birthdays. “It’s a great thing that you were born, so a lot of us like to have a small party with cake and presents.”

“What kind of presents?” Osamu gasped, blinking down at Akira as he wiggled.

“I got a kitty!” Akira shouted.

“No you didn’t, Princess just climbed in the box when you looked away.” Issei corrected but it did nothing to squash Akira’s enthusiasm.

“I got a kitty!” Akira said again, sticking his tongue out at Shigeru who was still shouting into his father’s hand as if he hadn’t noticed it.

“You have your Papa’s lungs.” Issei told Shigeru with a fondly exasperated look. “Please lower your tone darling, you’ll scare the twins and you’re hurting my ears.”

“Okay Touchan!” Shigeru shrieked as soon as the hand was removed from his mouth, completely missing Issei’s flinch. He turned to the twins who were staring at him, waiting for more words.

“Birthdays!” Was all he said, only moderately less loud than before. Issei chuckled, turning to wash his hands in the sink.

“Okay you four. I have to step out for a second, don’t mess with the mix… But they are getting whipped frosting, so Shigeru could you make the colors up for me? Get the piping bags ready and filled and put in the fridge?” Issei asked, watching the child bounce and scoot the mix further onto the table before he was climbing down his step stool and towards the pantry. “Hiro already made it so it just needs to be colored and put into piping bags.”

Shigeru turned and ran towards the fridge instead, calling for Atsumu and Osamu to come help him.

“Kita-san should be done with Papa soon, so you can help me get these colors all made until then.” Shigeru said, grabbing the bowls of frosting and offering one to Atsumu and another to Osamu who still had an armful of four year old. Shigeru stared at his brother before lifting up his shirt and shoving the cold bowl under it.

“You’re in the way.” Shigeru complained, only pulling it away when Akira unlatched from Osamu with a squeal. The four year old wiggled a safe distance away, trying to pat at his back to warm back up.

“Touchan!” He screamed. “Oniisan is bullying me again!”

“Again? It was only once today.” Shigeru shot back and Akira paused, thinking it over as the three older children carried their bowls to the lower table against the wall at Shigeru’s insistence.

“Oh… Touchan! Oniisan is bullying me for the first time today!” He howled instead, the sounds of footsteps approaching made him turn to stick his tongue out at Shigeru. Shigeru just opened his arms and Akira shot forward, wrapping himself tightly around his waist.

“Two seconds, guys, I was gone for two seconds… What happened?” Issei asked, taking in the twins holding metal bowls and his sons hugging each other.

“Nothin’.” Akira hummed, his face comfortably smushed against Shigeru’s chest.

“... It’s not even possible and I’m pretty sure you’re clones of your Papa. Atleast Shinji got some calm genes.” Issei sighed, not bothering to make it easier for the younger children to understand.

“Except that whole, shaking people thing.” Another voice said with a knock on the door.

“Shinsuke-san.” Atsumu chirped, brightening almost immediately and Osamu turned and put the bowl down before he ran off until he slammed into Shinsuke’s thigh.

“Aran had mentioned you decided to start a career in american football.” Shinsuke chuckled, staggering slightly at the speed before reaching down to pet his head. He turned to Issei who was trying not to laugh and failing miserably.

“You have a little something…” Issei wheezed, waving his hand at Shinsuke’s face. The shop owner moved his hand to his face, sighing as his fingers landed on something gauzy. He tugged the wedding veil off of his head and waved it at Issei.

“Your husband is a menace.” He said simply before turning and gently tucking the comb part into Osamu’s own hair. Osamu burst into giggles, face pressed back into Shinsuke’s hip and Shinsuke couldn’t help but feel his heart melt a little.

He couldn’t quite say what happened, what it was that Atsumu whispered to Osamu that morning before school that seemed to drag Osamu into the happiest mood, but he was grateful. Seeing Osamu smile made everything of the past month worth it and Shinsuke was going to do his damndest to get Atsumu smiling like that too.

“Which one?” Issei teased back, humming at Shinsuke’s half glare. “Ah, both of them.”

“Tooru should be put on a leash and not left near matches.”

“You’re not wrong, that’s why we don’t let him near the ovens. Trust me, he’s been complaining about it for seventeen years now and I don’t think I’ll ever let him near an open flame after our failed fifth anniversary.” Issei’s face screwed up slightly as he remembered that day.

“Was that the one with fireworks?”

“Yep… I don’t think Argentina ever really forgave us for that… Anyways, are you ready for the boys now?”

“Yes, I do apologize for being late you two, Tooru-kun and Koushi-kun were trying to use me to tailor a dress and wouldn’t let me out of it.” Shinsuke said, giving a half bow as Atsumu made his way to him. He still looked a little hesitant but he reached up to grasp Shinsuke’s hand.

“Thank you for entertaining them so they didn’t have to wait at home alone.” Shinsuke said, giving another bow and Atsumu and Osamu copied him before they were waving goodbye to Shigeru and Akira.

Issei chirped out a goodbye, waving at the twins from behind his counter. The door closed with a tinkle behind them and both of the boys turned up to look at Shinsuke curiously.

“Let’s get back to the shop to drop off the veil and grab my keys and wallet. Then we can head to the train, it’s about forty minutes away so use the bathroom before we go.” Shinsuke said softly, squeezing the hands in his and leading them across the street.

The twins were quick to run through the store, only stopping for half a second to watch Tooru attempt to drag Keiji across the store towards Koushi’s waiting fabric. Then they took off again, disappearing into the office between the two spaces.

“... If you must put anyone else into a dress, please ask Bokuto-san.” Shinsuke said, keeping his face carefully neutral to bask in the deep, deep, red that Keiji turned and allowed Tooru to get the upper hand to manhandle him.

“You’re a terrible person.” Keiji said dryly, standing stock still as fabric was wrapped over him and pinned into place.

“So I’ve been told. Keep Tooru-kun out of the lighters.” Shinsuke hummed and made his way after his boys, ignoring Tooru’s grumbling. He stopped in the doorway to grab Osamu’s jacket and tossed it over his arm, for some reason Osamu was almost violently against wearing jackets.

Shinsuke entertained the idea that it was static electricity before he tossed the idea aside and continued his path to the front door. He tugged on his own jacket, having forgone it earlier for the quick trip across the street.  The boys were giggling about something in the backroom but he didn’t bother to go check, glancing at his watch instead.

Osamu shot out of the bathroom, veil still flowing behind him.

“The veil!” He shouted, taking off into the shop with his brother hot on his heels.

“No running! You’re going to fall… and they’re gone.” Shinsuke blinked slowly after them, before deciding to let them have some time to themselves. He turned back to the kitchen, moving to finish the rest of breakfast’s dishes.

He had just grabbed his wallet, wondering what the twins had been doing for the last half hour when he heard a light rap on the door.

Confusion flooded through Shinsuke as he reached for the door and opened it.

“Hey.”

Shinsuke was going to have to do something about his own heart because it had no business jumping around in his stomach at the sight of the easy smile on Aran’s face. His eyebrow was quirked a little and Shinsuke wanted to kiss the small scar that ran through it. He pushed the urge away, trying to remember if he invited Aran over or not.

“I’m going to go ahead and guess from your confusion that Akagi’s playing one of his games again.” Aran sighed, shaking his head. “I just got a call from him that he was talking with the Matsukawa’s and the boys told him they’ve never gotten birthday presents.”

“They wha-” Shinsuke closed his mouth after a second. He wasn’t sure whether he wanted to kick Akagi for trying to set him and Aran up on another partial date or because he didn’t bother to tell Shinsuke that first.

Aran shifted, pulling a plain brown box from behind his back.

“So I brought this over, but it seems like you already had plans.” Aran looked him up and down and Shinsuke had to remind himself that Aran was looking at his shoes and jacket, not checking him out. 

“I was going to take the boys to see Granny… Did you run to the store to get them a present? How did you get back here so fast?”

“First of all, I live and work like two blocks down the street remember? Second, this was going to be your New Year's gift since I missed your birthday last year but I think the boys will enjoy it more.” Aran shrugged, not even ashamed at Shinsuke’s affronted huff.

“I expect a different present then… What is it?” He reached for it, scowling when Aran pulled it away.

“Let me visit Granny and I’ll tell you before I let the boys open it.” Aran said, holding the box up above his head. Shinsuke debated on giving into the childish urge to kick him in the knee and take it, but decided ultimately to not. Akagi would be disappointed.

“Why do you want to visit my Granny anyways?”

“Because she loves me and I haven’t seen her in years. Besides, if she finds out you didn’t let me come she’ll be sad.”

Shinsuke couldn’t even claim false pretenses, Granny loved Aran. She would be very disappointed if she found out Shinsuke didn’t let him come over especially since the boys probably would talk about how much they liked Aran.

Shinsuke was at a stalemate. He could deny Aran and spend the entire time with the kids, knowing Granny would be sad and that he would miss Aran and think about him and the boys would too. Or he could let him win and visit with them and Shinsuke didn’t want to lose.

“C’mon Shin.” Aran asked, tilting his head just a little to blink slowly at Shinsuke and he was too cute-

“Fine, yes. You can come see my Granny.” Shinsuke said pointedly, trying to ignore the warmth that flooded his chest at the broad smile that spread across Aran’s face. He only fought his own for a few seconds before giving in.

It was still a surprise when he felt soft lips brush over his cheek. It was also clearly a surprise to Aran too because he immediately went dark with a blush and walked into the wall, trying not to look at Shinsuke. He slipped his way over to the kitchen island, putting the box down and clearly trying to hide his face.

“Never should have gone to France.” Aran mumbled to himself, head pressed against the box. “Just had to go native didn’t I…”

Shinsuke knew he had been the one to set the boundaries but he couldn’t say Aran wasn’t absolutely adorable when he was embarrassed. Not to mention, the more he fell into his new routine, the more he relaxed, the more he could say he wouldn’t mind if perhaps… perhaps a relationship with Aran grew a lot sooner than they intended.

He had been thinking of the twins and Aran as two very separate things. Which they were, but they were also intertwined. Aran had made it clear he was going to be a part of the boys’ lives, a major part. In doing that, Shinsuke wasn’t going to struggle under the pressure of being a single father because he wasn’t going to be a single father, not really.

“The boys are in the shop, I was just about to go and get them.” Shinsuke hummed, watching him straighten up and march towards the other door leaving the package behind.

“Thank you!” He squeaked back to Shinsuke, still too shy to look back at him.

“Shinsuke!” Shinsuke barely had a moment to start to take off his shoes when he was being pulled into a full body hug. He folded over instantly, hugging her back as tightly as he dared.

It had really been months since they had last seen each other and phone calls were never enough. She still smelled like her cherry blossom lotion and incense she burned constantly and it was a rush of emotions that flooded through him.

“Granny. How are your classes going? I brought some newspapers for your paper mache projects. ” He asked as he was released. She grinned brightly at him, reaching up to pat his face softly.

“Always so thoughtful, my Shin-chan.” Granny cooed, leaning around him to the twins who were clutched onto Aran’s legs. She smiled softly and waved at them.

“Hello there, you must be Osamu and Atsumu. Shinsuke’s told me so much about you two.” She said cheerily, smiling at them.

They glanced up at Shinsuke, carefully letting go of Aran’s pants as if they were expecting to have to grab on to him again any second.

“I-I’m Atsumu.” Atsumu said softly, glancing at Shinsuke before giving a bow and backing up into Aran again until he could feel the man’s hand on his back. Osamu introduced himself as well, before stepping forward and hesitantly taking hold of Shinsuke’s hand.

“It’s quite alright to be a little shy, why don’t we take our shoes and jackets off and we can come sit under the kotatsu and have some tea.” Granny offered, keeping her smile soft as she glanced between the twins and then over to Shinsuke so the boys wouldn’t feel pressured to answer.

“That sounds lovely, Granny, thank you.” Shinsuke dipped his head, looking over his shoulder to smile comfortingly over at Atsumu before he was bending to start helping Osamu out of his jacket.

“Finally,” Osamu whispered as the jacket tugged off, “freedom.”

“Why are you so against jackets?” Aran asked, helping Atsumu out of his own and hanging them up.

“It’s all.. Crackly.” Osamu said, looking at Aran as if he was the weird one.

“Crackly?” Aran repeated, glancing over at the understanding look on Shinsuke’s face. “No… Oh my gods…”

“Osamu… Do you mean when you take it off and on and it tickles your skin and zaps you? “ Shinsuke asked slowly, humming when Osamu’s eyes went wide and he gasped.

“You know about it too?”

“I do. I don’t like my jacket much either and Aran always gets grumpy when I put it on my shoulders because he’s just a grumpy person.”

“You two… Jacket weirdos.” Aran mumbled, nodding along with Atsumu. Osamu stuck his tongue out at his brother while Shinsuke just reached up and half pulled Aran down until Shinsuke could pull himself to his feet.

“Y’know,” Shinsuke said conversationally as Osamu bent to take his shoes off, “your jacket looks awfully warm. And about my size…”

“If you even think about it I will put yours on and stretch it out and then tell Yukie-san that you did it.” Aran said pleasantly but all Shinsuke could think about was the time Yukie had found out that Asahi had accidentally stretched out Nishinoya’s hand sewn shirt. Asahi still wasn’t the same after that.

“Keep bullying me in my Granny’s house….” Shinsuke smiled purposely, making his voice as sweet as possible as he took Osamu’s hand.

“Oh I will. Because I’m Granny’s favorite.” Aran said back, gently guiding Atsumu into the house and calling out. “Granny? You forgot to give me my hug.”

“Oh, don’t be upset, I didn’t want to startle the children. C’mere Aran-kun, I missed you while you were overseas. Help me bring these cups out, did you get my sweaters I sent? It gets terribly cold in France and I was worried about you!” Granny continued to chatter, wrapping Aran into a tight hug. She let go of him only to offer Atsumu a small cookie that was quickly taken before he said something. The tenseness in his shoulders slowly bled out when Aran gently rubbed small circles onto his back and Atsumu smiled up at Aran, leaning into his side to nibble on the cookie.

The words were too soft for Shinsuke to hear but he assumed it was Atsumu checking on the ingredients so that Osamu wouldn’t eat anything he was allergic to. Aran’s head turned just enough to stick his tongue out at Shinsuke.

“Osamu, promise me you won’t let Aran be your favorite?” Shinsuke said, looking down at Osamu who burst into a laugh as he let go of Shinsuke’s hand to wrap himself around his arm instead.

“Pinky promise! Rin-kun is my favorite and Hitoshi-kun… oh and Akira-kun! But don’t tell Shinji-kun! He might not give me anymore hugs.” Osamu chattered, happily being led into the other room. He kept glancing at his brother and every time he did\, he seemed to smile a little brighter, like everything was falling into place around him.

“So I heard you were a little chef,” Granny started as she finished lowering the tea kettle onto the kotatsu.

Osamu perked up almost immediately from where he had crawled onto Aran’s lap, attempting to see if he was growing a mustache or not. Aran had removed him twice already before giving in after Shinsuke started encouraging Osamu to check even closer. Shinsuke was doing his best not to laugh into the teacup he was using to hide his smile but it wasn’t working.

“I am! Shinsuke-san says I’m his favorite chef even more than Hajime-san across the street!” Osamu said quite proudly, smiling so widely his eyes were forced shut.

“I’m so glad to hear that! Because I was just in need of a chef to help me with dinner.” Granny gasped, and Osamu nearly tossed himself off of Aran’s lap in his desperation to turn back to Shinsuke to ask permission.

“Pretty please Shinsuke-san?” He chirped, pawing at his brother’s head to force it down so he could stare at Shinsuke. Atsumu whined, wiggling desperately away until he was comfortably safe on Shinsuke’s lap instead.

“Yes, yes of course.” Shinsuke hummed, reaching out to rub his hair until it was going everywhere. Aran swatted at his hand, quickly fixing it and Shinsuke wanted to laugh. It felt like so long ago he was nagging Akagi for letting the boys outside with messy hair and here he was doing it himself.

Aran seemed to notice the glint in his eye and stuck out his tongue.

Osamu didn’t notice, his own giggling fading as he tried to escape the heavy weight of the kotatsu and ran around it to Granny’s side. She was already smiling and laughing as she moved to her feet and gently laid a hand on Osamu’s shoulder. There was no fear in Osamu, no hesitation.

Again, Shinsuke had to wonder what it was that Atsumu had told Osamu that morning that had them both so much more relaxed. He suspected Aran knew, but that wasn’t a conversation to have over tea.

“You have so much energy! You’ll be the absolute best cook one day.” She said, glancing over at Aran and Shinsuke again. Aran was trying to temp Atsumu into his lap with his phone, rolling his eyes dramatically at Shinsuke’s teasing of being the favorite.

“You’re not the favorite, you’re just letting him play on your phone.” Aran pointed out and Shinsuke shifted his arm to block the device from view.

“I have absolutely no idea what you could be talking about.” Shinsuke smiled, almost purposely fluttering his lashes. Aran’s cheeks were just barely dusted with a blush and he kicked Shinsuke’s ankle under the table, smirking at Shinsuke’s offended gasp.

“You two.” Granny chortled, smiling over at Shinsuke who looked up immediately. “You have quite a nice young man right there, don’t you let him run off again.”

“Oh he won’t. He won’t be going anywhere.” Shinsuke said confidently, glancing over at Aran’s soft groan.

“Shin, you can’t just say that! You don’t know that at all.” Aran shook his head, Shinsuke’s confidence could be his downfall sometimes. Just because he was right didn’t mean Shinsuke had to point it out, or assume that it would be the same in five years. It would be, but still.

“Oh?” Shinsuke hummed, turning to look at Aran fully. Just that single word was incredibly soft, already as affectionate as the loving look in his eye.

“Don’t I, though?” Shinsuke asked and Aran had to remind himself he wasn’t allowed to just drag Shinsuke into a kiss right here and now. Not only because Granny was still laughing at them and Atsumu was in Shinsuke’s lap, but he still had to wait for Shinsuke. But he could do that, he could do that forever. Waiting was nothing.

The moment was interrupted by Atsumu’s gentle tug on Shinsuke’s sleeve.

“Wait…” He scream-whispered. “We are leaving though… Me ‘n ‘Samu ‘n Lady ‘n Aran are goin’ to France.”

“I think I win as favorite, try again tomorrow Shinsuke.” Aran grinned, leaning over to wrap his arms around Atsumu and pull him onto his lap. “Okay Atsumu, now that you’re on the lap of the best person in the world. Should we have chocolate or vanilla for dessert tomorrow?”

“What’re we havin’? Blackberry ice cream is my favorite but vanilla is ‘Samu’s favorite.“ Atsumu gasped, clearly excited and openly relaxed despite his earlier terseness. “Wait! You’re comin’ over for dessert tomorrow?” 

Aran smiled over at Shinsuke, sweet and affectionate but still playful.

“I am now.”

“No more jackets!” Osamu screamed as the front door started to close behind him and he immediately started to wiggle out of it without unzipping it. It caught around his shoulders and he whined, turning to look for his brother only to find himself alone.

He turned back around, eyes landing on a rather amused looking Shinsuke holding a plate of snacks.

“Hi Kita-san! I fell!” He called out, a giddy feeling rising in his chest when Shinsuke blinked at him. He couldn’t say why, but watching adults get confused was one of the funniest things he’d ever seen.

Osamu grinned as he twisted, trying to escape the jacket when he heard footsteps and froze as he recognized Oomimi. For a moment, cold dread poured into his stomach and he took a step back. He was waiting for the order to grab his things, or worse, Rika-san walking in behind him ready to take them away.

He was about to bolt, run back out to Aran and beg him to help when someone crashed into him from the right.

“Your house is huge!” Hitoshi’s voice screeched in his ear as they toppled to the floor.

“Hitoshi-kun be careful.” Shinsuke called, a chuckle following and Osamu relaxed. Shinsuke wouldn’t be laughing if they were being taken away, not after he’d been so upset Rika-san had been mean to them.

Osamu didn’t care what Atsumu said, Shinsuke cared about them… Atleast… Osamu really hoped he did. Osamu loved Shinsuke, he was never scared around him, ever!

Even when Osamu had been with other foster parents, he’d been waiting to be smacked, waiting for the shoe to eventually drop and the pain to start. He’d never felt really safe until now, and he never wanted to leave. He just didn’t know how to get Shinsuke to want them back.

“Why’re you two on the floor?” Rintaro’s voice made Osamu and Hitoshi look up, grinning at the confused looking six year old who was looking over the couch at them. He was wearing the butterfly hair clip that Osamu had let him borrow the night before, tucking his hair away from his eyes.

“Why aren’t you?” Hitoshi shot back, giggling with Osamu and finally rolling off of him. He reached down, trying to tug Osamu up to his feet. Neither of them moved to free Osamu from his accidental jacket trap.

“Because I’m not weird- Oh here comes the hugger.” Rintaro shrunk away as the door to the store opened and the room was invaded by the two oldest of the Matsukawa’s.

Shinji, as Rintaro guessed, made a bee-line for Osamu and wrapped his arms around him almost immediately. Osamu giggled, shoving against him to try and return the hug as well as he could.

“Where’s ‘Tsumu?” Shinji chirped, wiggling and shaking Osamu by default. “We missed you at school today!”

“Shinji, darling, what did we say about shaking people?” A new voice called as the door shut behind Osamu. He glanced back to see his brother looking more than a little confused about the number of people in front of him.

“Not to shake babies!” Shinji called, ignoring the man’s sigh of defeat as he turned to follow Osamu’s gaze to Atsumu. He froze, lips twisting into a frown as he tried to figure out how to hug both of them without letting go of Osamu.

“That is not what we said… Partly what we said, but honestly, Shinji stop shaking people.” The man laughed and Osamu looked over at him curiously. It took him a moment to recognize Hajime in the thick coat before he shed it and wrapped it over an arm. Hajime blinked over at him before smiling and giving him a small wave.

“No,” Shinji insisted, shaking his head, “it’s how I’m friend… fr… friendly!”’

“I’m pretty sure rattling someone’s brains isn’t friendly.” Takahiro’s voice followed as the door opened again. He had multiple boxes in his arms, followed by Akira holding a tiny box very determinedly in his hands.

“That’s because you’re weird.” Shinji chirped, finally letting go to try and shake Atsumu next. Osamu laughed as his brother was enveloped in the older child’s arms and was forced into a hug, Atsumu didn’t seem to mind much. Osamu wasn’t really sure why Atsumu didn’t have a problem with Shinji holding onto him but would attempt to bite Osamu if he tried.

Then again, Osamu let Rintaro borrow his butterfly hair clips and wear them for school today and he had tackled his brother for trying to move them on Saturday.

Osamu paused, wondering if he could get Hitoshi to hug and shake his brother. Atsumu probably wouldn’t bite him, he’d definitely bite Shigeru though… but maybe he wouldn’t bite Rintaro… but would Rin let him hug….

Osamu thought it over and didn’t even realize he wasn’t alone again until he felt the zipper being undone. He blinked back to himself, staring at the neutral face of Shinsuke as his foster parent pulled the jacket off.

“Did you have fun with Aran-kun then?” Shinsuke asked softly and Osamu thought about telling him that Aran loved him, but maybe it wasn’t the time for that. So he reached forward and laid his hands on Shinsuke’s shoulders.

“I hope you and Aran-kun learn how to walk together soon.” He chirped before turning and running off toward Takahiro as he lowered the boxes onto the new kotatsu that had replaced the table in between the couch and tv.

He didn’t see the look of complete confusion as Shinsuke turned to stare after him before he turned to welcome Atsumu into the house.

Atsumu shrank down slightly when he realized that Shinsuke was now focusing on him. He pressed against Shinji as if he was trying to hide behind the older child and couldn’t quite manage it even with Shinji’s shaking. It was slightly relaxing, the soothing swaying, pulling up the oldest memory in Atsumu’s mind. One so old it felt more like a wish then a memory of being held close and rocked as he pawed at the face of his mother smiling down at him.

Just thinking about the moment made pain shoot through Atsumu’s chest. She’d left him too, like everyone else. Even Shinsuke didn’t want them and seeing him so close after yesterday...

Atsumu hurt. He wanted to burrow his way into Shinsuke’s arms and cry, beg to not be given away. Beg him not to hate them. Atsumu had to keep reminding himself that Shinsuke didn’t want them.

He wanted to grab his brother and run back outside, drag them both back to Aran. Beg him to take them home now so Atsumu didn’t have to hear Shinsuke lie about caring for them, about wanting them around.

Atsumu knew better. He knew Shinsuke wasn’t happy with them, why else would he have tried to give them away to Rika-san? Shinsuke wouldn’t hurt them but he wouldn’t be happy until they were gone. Atsumu wanted Oomimi to take them away last night, but Osamu had been so shattered by the idea that Atsumu hadn’t been able to utter the request again after Osamu started crying.

Even if it was just for a few more days, Atsumu wanted Osamu to be happy.

He didn’t know if Aran would really take them or if Osamu would be happy but… 

No one had ever caught Atsumu when he fell before, or told him he was a good brother or a good friend. No one had ever said they loved him.

Atsumu wanted to stay with Shinsuke too, and wanted to stay with both of them. He loved them and it hurt thinking that he had to choose one or the other no matter what. Shinsuke wasn’t dating Aran and Aran said they weren’t ready for that.

Even if Shinsuke decided he did like them, did want them, Atsumu didn’t want to lose Aran. He didn’t want to keep losing people.

Why couldn’t he just have a family? 

Why was everything so hard?

“Atsu?” Shinji’s voice was right in his ear and it jolted him back to himself. The arms tightened around him, grounding him as he realized Shinsuke was crouching in front of him looking concerned.

“Atsumu? Did you hear what I said?” Shinsuke asked carefully and Atsumu had to swallow down a sob to shake his head. “That’s alright. I was just letting you know that we invited Osamu and your friends over to play games for a bit and stay the night.”

“O-oh… why?” Atsumu asked slowly, blinking as he recognized Rintaro, Shigeru, and Hitoshi all crowded around Osamu and Takahiro. Rintaro glanced back, holding up a small peace sign when he saw Atsumu looking before he was looking up at the baker.

“ ‘Cuz we missed you!” Shinji chirped before Shinsuke could say anything, giving another wiggle and shaking Atsumu almost violently. “You weren’t at school and Kita-san said you didn’t have a good night, so we’re going to make tonight super great!”

“Ah, yes, that.” Shinsuke hummed, looking rather fond at Shinji’s happy chattering. Maybe that’s why Shinsuke didn’t like them, they weren’t happy like Shinji.

“And if you get too tired you can always go to sleep early.” Shinsuke softly, trying to offer him a smile but it seemed to fall flat as concern washed over him again. “But tonight’s all about you and Osamu, okay little- Okay?”

Atsumu’s chest ached at the slip up. Osamu was ‘little one’, Atsumu wasn’t anything important. He slowly nodded his head, turning away until Shinji’s arms fell off and he could tug off his jacket.

Osamu was happily kicking Atsumu’s legs as the sun started to dip below the sky. The kotatsu was heaven after the hours at the skating rink and even Atsumu had slowly started to relax. He gave his brother a half glare, trying to kick back around Shigeru’s legs who had put himself between the two of them after their first squabble.

“This is happy fun times,” Shigeru had declared, “if I can’t punch Rintaro then you can't hit each other!” 

“You did that.” Osamu had heard Takahiro mutter to Hajime as the personal trainer sighed and shook his head. “Let’s get his energy out with taekwondo, it’ll be fine, you said.”

“Atleast he stopped trying to throw dumbbells?” Hajime tried to offer before Osamu grew too bored of the conversation and turned back to his friends.

“Are you okay ‘Samu?” Hitoshi asked around a bite of roast, juice was slipping down his cheek and within seconds Rintaro was wiping his face off. “Ya look a bit sad.”

“ ‘m fine!” Osamu smiled brightly at him, ignoring the way his stomach rolled as he glanced over at the dining room where the adults had seated themselves to enjoy their own dinner. Aran hadn’t come over and Osamu had been hoping he would.

Shinsuke always seemed to relax more with him around, though there was something… different about him right now. Osamu couldn’t quite put his finger on it, maybe it was the way Shinsuke’s shoulders were dropped as he hummed around his cup. Maybe it was the fingers that weren’t tapping out on the table but calm and the glances over to them with a slight smile.

Osamu could only hope that it was because Shinsuke was happy to see them and wasn’t because he finally managed to get rid of them.

“Are you sure-” Hitoshi tried to push but Shinji tugged on his shirt and he fell quiet again. Shinji gave Osamu a smile that he couldn’t understand, but he wondered if maybe Shinji knew more than he said. Shigeru was giving almost the exact same smile as he put his legs between the twins’.

“How was school?” Atsumu asked tentatively and they all jumped as Rintaro dropped his head on the table.

“Terrible, absolutely terrible.” He complained, making Hitoshi giggle.

“Sensei made us write about our parents, and Rintaro finished early and she told him to make it longer.” Hitoshi explained and Shigeru and Shinji started to laugh too as Rintaro whined.

“Three times. Three times, I had to write more about my parents.” He kicked under the table unhappily, only stopping when Hajime called over to watch out for the heater. “I don’t even know them! … So I wrote about Hajime-san and Issei-san.”

“He wrote all about the bakery and Sensei kept asking why his parents were called Dr. Suna, then.” Shigeru wheezed, ignoring Rintaro’s glare. “And… He.. He tried…”

“Rintaro-kun said they had a doctorate in bread.” Hitoshi said as Shigeru fell backwards, writhing with laughter. Rintaro’s entire face was bright red and he shoved a bite into his mouth to try and save face.

“I’m sure Tatay and Babba would be happy to know you think so highly of them.” Shinji tried to comfort him, but the snorts escaping him just made it impossible. Rintaro groaned, pressing his head back down onto the table again.

The pressure in Osamu’s chest seemed to relax for a moment and he flashed a smile at his brother who nervously returned it.

Osamu looked up at the sound of someone standing up, blinking at the approaching form of Shinsuke. He didn’t think they’d been too loud or annoying but maybe Osamu wasn’t being good enough-

“Dessert is in the fridge when you are done eating,” Shinsuke explained softly, stepping out of the way as Shigeru and Hitoshi immediately scrambled to stand up and rush to the fridge. “Or now I suppose.”

He hummed, walking over and kneeling in Shigeru’s spot between the twins. Rintaro and Shinji scooted closer together to give them a moment of privacy, quietly talking about bread degrees. Rintaro insisted they were probably real and Shinji seemed concerned as to why they needed one.

“I’m going to be with the others for the night, but if you need anything please let me know.” Shinsuke said softly and Osamu could see the difference in him. Something changed. He was so… relaxed. Osamu prayed it wasn’t because they were going to be taken away.

“And tomorrow, I was planning on going to visit my grandmother. Would you like to go with me after school? We can do your schoolwork at her house.”

Atsumu frowned and swallowed before he looked to Osamu. It took a second before Osamu knew what his brother was thinking but he did.

“That’s really late though… You don’t get off work until it’s dark and… then you do paperwork… Will your grandmother be awake then?” Osamu asked slowly, keeping his eyes on Atsumu until he was sure he had asked the right question.

“Actually, I will be leaving work before you get off school so I can finish my paperwork when you get home. That way I can spend the rest of the day with you.” Shinsuke said, looking at them the same way Tooru looked at his kids. Osamu wanted to cry from that look alone and he knew Atsumu did too.

“I thought-”

“Nothing is more important to me then you two.” Shinsuke said quiet but firm, looking them in the eye one at a time. “Absolutely nothing. Not work or even Aran and Akagi and Oomimi.”

Atsumu didn’t seem to realize he was crying until Rintaro was trying to wipe them away with his shirt. He glared at Shinsuke for a moment but relaxed as Atsumu reached out to hold onto Shinsuke’s shirt sleeve for a second and Osamu latched onto his arm immediately.

“I…” Atsumu started, swallowing and looking over at Rintaro and Shinji who were watching. They looked concerned but excited and Rintaro offered him a supportive smile.

“I w-would... “ He puffed up his chest and Osamu relaxed as he recognized his brother’s brash and bold nature coming out. “Please take us to visit, Sh-Shinsuke-san. We’ll be good and we would… like to spend more time with you.”

Atsumu tripped over the words but he was staring resolutely at Shinsuke’s shirt as if he could draw courage from the pale blue fabric. Osamu wasn’t sure what made him want to cry more, seeing Atsumu not looking terrified or that Shinsuke genuinely seemed to want them.

“Of course… I’ll let you be with your friends now, don’t forget your desserts and you can turn on the playstation when your plates are off the table.” Shinsuke said softly, patting both of their heads before he was standing up and letting Shigeru have his spot back.

They watched him walk away then Shigeru pulled out a second plate from behind his back with two slices of pie and ice cream.

“I snuck your desserts, this way we don’t have to leave the kotatsu, it’s so cold without it.” Shigeru smiled brightly as Hitoshi revealed his own hidden treats for Rintaro and Shinji.

“Oh! So that’s why you made us wear our jackets!” Osamu chirped, hand clutching Aran’s as they stepped into the cold building. Already parents and toddlers were skating around, each bundled up to avoid the cold that kept the ice from melting.

Aran glanced back at the snow covered ground and the half ice falling from the sky and turned back to Osamu.

“Sure, that’s why I made you wear your jackets.” Aran snorted fondly, turning to glance at Atsumu who was standing beside him. His hand was creeping up, inch by inch until it wrapped around Aran’s finger. Aran didn’t want to make a big deal out of it, but that didn’t mean his heart wasn’t pounding ten thousand miles a second in excitement that Atsumu was actively searching him out for support.

“Let’s go get skates huh?” He asked, getting two sets of eyes blinking up at him.

“But we dunno how to skate.” Atsumu said slowly, as if Aran had forgotten.

“I know, but that’s why I’m going to teach you. We’ll go slow I promise.” Aran smiled down at both of them, taking a step forward and leading them across the room to get their shoes.

By the time they’d each been slipped into the shoes, neither one of the boys seemed like they were going to let go of Aran anytime in the next few years. Atsumu was clinging to Aran’s thigh while Osamu was half climbing Aran’s arm. However they were both laughing as they slipped and tried to adjust to the skates.

“There ya go, Atsumu you have to walk- Or just keep holding on, okay buddy.” Aran laughed softly, reaching down to pat his head without even thinking about it. Panic flooded through him a second later but Atsumu was giving him a smile, shy and small but it was there and Aran had to force himself not to cry.

“Promise you won’t let me fall?” Atsumu whispered and Aran smiled, nodding his head and holding out his pinky.

“I’ll even pinky promise,” he said and instantly Atsumu’s smaller finger was wrapping around his. Atsumu bit his lip before finally letting go of his leg to scramble for Aran’s hand instead.

“You’re almost as bad as Shinsuke, but don’t worry I’ll teach you.” Aran turned to check on Osamu, watching him lift up his feet one after the other like a dog trying socks on for the first time.

“Kita-san can ice skate?” Osamu asked, blinking up at Aran curiously and Aran wanted to lie. He did. He wanted to lie so bad but he just couldn’t to that face.

“Shinsuke is absolutely terrible at ice skating, we tried to teach him and he was bad, super bad.” Aran groaned dramatically, keeping up the sad face even as both of the boys started to giggle. “You guys are going to be so much better right?”

“Yeah and… and next time we can show Shinsuke-san!” Atsumu chirped, eyes wide with hope. Then he paused, the realization of the night prior washing over him again.

“Yes we can.” Aran squeezed his hand when bright eyes blinked up at him. “We can definitely show Shinsuke how good you two are. Maybe you can teach him a thing or two by then.”

Atsumu nodded, hope clear in his eyes before he was looking down again and staring at the ice skating rink.

Aran moved them slowly forward, helping them stay up with each step. He slid onto the ice first, angling his toes to each other so he wouldn’t slip.

“One at a time and then you can hold onto me again.” He said, reaching for Atsumu first while Osamu was still popping his feet up and down curiously. Atsumu made his first step, then slipped but Aran was already there.

He held his arm out around his chest and slowly leaned him back up, letting Atsumu cling to him. Atsumu squeaked softly and tightened his grip like he was trying to hold himself up off the ground with his arms alone.

“You okay ‘Tsumu?” Aran asked, using Osamu’s nickname. It seemed to work because Atsumu relaxed slowly, still holding on, but not skittishly prancing anymore.

“Y-yeah.. I’m okay Aran-kun.” Atsumu mumbled, eyes pinned to his feet like they would disappear if he didn’t watch them. He glanced up once to smile brightly before he was glaring at the ice again.

Aran hummed, waving Osamu forward this time. Osamu seemed a lot more stable on his feet, managing to glide over the ice to Aran before plowing straight into his hip. Aran wrapped his hand around his back to hold him close when Osamu’s head popped up to grin widely at him.

“Hi!”

Aran laughed, ruffling his hair.

“Hello to you as well, you two ready to try and skate?”

Aran kept the lessons slow and steady, ready to pull one or both of them off the ice at any hint of fear or exhaustion. Instead they both took to it almost immediately, dropping Aran’s hands before they made it halfway through the second circuit and skating a little bit further away. Atsumu kept slipping but Aran wasn’t quite able to convince him to stop staring at his feet and look ahead for once so Aran just stood close instead.

“Aran-kun!” Osamu chirped, skating ahead and glancing back at him. “Can I go around by myself?”

“Go slow! I can’t catch you if you fall on the other side of the ice.” Aran called back, keeping an eye on Atsumu’s frustrated scowl. Osamu took off almost immediately and Atsumu tried to follow only to skid and slip before catching himself.

His eyes twisted to Aran before moving back to his quickly disappearing brother.

“Don’t worry about anything, Atsumu, I’m keepin’ an eye on him.” Aran said softly. “Go at your own pace.”

“My pace is too slow… I don’t want Osamu to be better than me at everythin’.” Atsumu growled but his shoulders just dropped in minor defeat before his brother’s cheer for him to hurry up made him straighten again. He turned and pawed at Aran’s hand.

“... H… Help me?” He asked hesitantly and Aran took his hand immediately, skating closer.

“All you ever have to do is ask, Atsumu. That’s what I’m here for.”

They moved forward slowly, letting Aran take on Atsumu’s weight. It took two more rounds before Atsumu was tugging his hand out of Aran’s and gliding on his own. His face screwed up in concentration.

“Hey, hey, Atsumu, look at me.” Aran said softly, skating forward a few feet and turning around with his arms held out. I promised I wouldn’t let you fall, remember?”

Atsumu still looked nervous but he took a big breath and kept his eyes pinned on Aran’s chest. Step after step he moved, not realizing Aran was carefully taking his own half steps backwards, letting Atsumu go a little bit further as he gained ground and his confidence.

Aran shot forward as he realized Atsumu’s feet were angled too far inward, clipping each other. A look of panic shot over Atsumu’s face as he realized what was happening.

“Shinsuke-san!” He yelped, arms moving to cover his face but he was already caught in Aran’s grip, carefully leading him forward until Atsumu could wrap his arms around his waist. “Aran-kun… ‘M sorry-”

“Y’know, you and Shinsuke are just like each other.” Aran said, cutting him off and brushing a hand through his hair and Atsumu looked up at him, clearly curious. “Ya both keep apologizing for getting any kind of help. I said I’d catch you, didn’t I? No need for sorrys.”

 “... Aran-kun… Why doesn’t… Why does… Shinsuke-san…” Atsumu’s face twisted with panic and worry, clearly trying to say something that scared him to ask. “I… I’m sorry… Can… Can I go sit down?”

“Sure, lemme just find you- Oof. Found him.” Aran wheezed as Osamu took advantage of his crouched over position to slam his head into his stomach and latch on.

“Hi!”

“Hello to you too.” Aran groaned for the second time that day, trying not to show how much it had hurt to have a six year old rocket into his stomach. “Atsumu wants to rest for a minute so-”

“Can I keep skating? Pretty please?” Osamu blinked up at him and Aran wasn’t sure what to do for a minute. He couldn’t stop Osamu from falling if he was sitting with Atsumu, but Atsumu might get even more upset being left alone again.

He was slightly surprised Osamu was so cheerful, but he supposed part of it was that he was so relieved they weren’t being taken away again. Or Osamu was being subjected to the energy all six year olds seemed to have access to. There were too many variables to keep track of and Aran could understand why Shinsuke had gotten so stressed.

“You can stay w-with ‘Samu.” Atsumu said after a moment, blinking up at Aran with wide eyes. “So he doesn’t fall.”

“I won’t fall!” Osamu insisted, already skating backwards with a surprising amount of skill for someone who had only been on the ice for an hour. “I’ll stay next to the wall so you can watch me Aran-kun!”

“Well… Okay, but stay as close to the wall as you can and as soon as you feel a little bit tired come join me and your brother.” Aran said, trying to look serious but Osamu was already skating away without a care. “Don’t worry Atsumu, I can watch him from behind the wall. C’mon.”

Aran guided him forward again, letting Atsumu set his own pace just a foot away from Aran. He skated fine, able to keep his eyes up this time and reached out to grab the handle on the wall to pull himself onto the rubber matts and turned to blink over at Aran patiently. Aran stepped up beside him, glancing back at Osamu and his newly acquired toddler teacher who was doing her best to show Osamu how to stop quickly.

“Osamu likes people.” Atsumu said and Aran glanced back to see that Atsumu was staring at him instead of his brother.

“And you don’t?” Aran guessed, though it wasn’t much of a guess since he’d spent so much time around the boys the last two weeks.

“People only leave.” Atsumu said, only blinking before he was turning away. Aran followed after him, sitting beside him as soon as Atsumu chose a seat.

“Hey now, what happened to getting married? Shinji-kun is a person right?” Aran asked, wondering how Atsumu could sound so mature at such a young age. He had to remind himself that Atsumu wasn’t that mature, he was just hurting and had to learn how to communicate it when tears weren’t enough and anger was punished. He had to use his words because they were the only thing that couldn’t be taken away, the only power he had left. Even if it was in accidental comments to Shinsuke, who Atsumu clearly loved and felt betrayed by.

“... it’s a joke… Shinji’s just a friend and he likes Osamu more, like everyone else.” Atsumu mumbled, kicking his feet before Aran leaned down to slide the protectors over the blades. He resumed kicking as soon as he could, excess energy clear. Shinsuke had been right when he said Atsumu had issues with sitting still.

“Hmm… Shinji-kun, Shinji-kun…” Aran tried to think back to the night before. It took him a few heartbeats to drag himself away from the memory of his and Shinsuke’s first kiss, but he vaguely remembered a Shinji being brought up.

“Was…. Shinji-kun… the one who… help you and your friend when you got in trouble?” Aran asked carefully, it might have been Shigeru-kun which made more sense because Aran knew Oikawa had a child named Shigeru and the boys had mentioned him earlier. Or maybe that was Akira-kun because Aran was pretty sure Tooru’s husband’s name was Issei. Wait.

Hadn’t the boys said Tooru had three boyfriends?

“Yeah… But that was just ‘cuza Hitoshi was scared.” Atsumu said, having absolutely no idea that Aran was trying to stick a puzzle together in his head.

Tooru. Three boyfriends. Hajime’s cryptic teasing. Iwaizumi. Tooru’s famous ‘Iwa-chan’.

Oh Aran was going to kill him in their next session. Hajime had been teasing him for weeks about it and he could have just told him.

Aran had to forcibly pull his thoughts away from how much Hajime was going to laugh at him when Aran finally said he figured it out. Shinji-kun, he tried to focus, was the one that Shinsuke said kept hugging Atsumu after the principal thing happened. Also, something about macarons but Aran had honestly been more focused on the fact that Shinsuke had been crying on the phone and didn’t really manage to get more than the important bits out, which had been repeated with another crying session in Shinsuke’s bed.

“But… Didn’t he keep hugging you after Hitoshi-kun was okay?” Aran asked, trying to get Atsumu to spill more without revealing he wasn’t 100% certain of what he was saying. Atsumu’s cheeks pinkened slightly and he shrugged his shoulders, looking through the glass wall at his brother now.

“Maybe… Just a little…”

“So, are ya going to marry someone who likes your brother more? Would you marry someone if you liked their brother more?” Aran couldn’t believe he was having this conversation with a six year old. He wasn’t even sure what he was saying anymore but it seemed to be working because Atsumu hesitated.

“I… guess I wouldn’t…” Atsumu admitted, feet kicking out further before one foot moved to the ground and his leg started bouncing. “D’ya really think Shinji could like me more than… Then he likes ‘Samu?”

Atsumu sounded so hopeful as he looked up at Aran, eyes wide with the idea that anyone could love him more than his brother. Aran wasn’t sure if he wanted to cry at the knowledge that Atsumu had never been wanted before now or if he wanted to storm into Oomimi’s work and sign the paperwork now. He supposed the second would mean making Osamu leave the ice and he wasn’t ready to make him pout just yet.

“I really do. You’re a good kid, y’know Atsumu, and from what I hear, a really really good friend and an even better big brother.” Aran hadn’t necessarily heard Osamu say that, but he could see it in the way Osamu looked up to Atsumu. The way he followed him around and teased him in the way that all younger siblings were allowed to do to their older siblings.

Atsumu’s eyes welled up with tears as the words finished, fingers curling into his pants and eyes dead set on Aran’s. He opened and closed his mouth twice before any words managed to come out.

“R-really?” He hissed, breath fogging the air and for the second time that day Aran had the air knocked out of him. He wasn’t sure what it was that these boys were made out of, but it definitely didn’t feel like squishy human.

“Yes really… You have quite a grip wow.” Aran grunted, lifting Atsumu up and lowering him onto his lap so he could hug him back carefully. “You’re a really really good kid, ‘Tsumu I promise. I wouldn’t lie to you ever. I’m sure Shinji likes you very much and you’re a very good friend of his, and I know that Osamu thinks you’re the best big brother ever.”

Aran gently adjusted his hold as Atsumu wrapped his arms around his neck, hot tears slipping just under his collar but he didn’t say anything. Instead he just gently rubbed Atsumu’s back, letting him get all the tears out while keeping an eye on Osamu skating around.

After fifteen minutes, Aran was certain Atsumu had fallen asleep. That was quickly tossed away when he heard Atsumu mumble his name softly, questioningly.

“Yes Atsumu?” Aran asked just as quietly, returning his gaze to him as Atsumu sat back on his knee and scrubbed at his red eyes.

“... Did you play volleyball with Tooru-san?”

Aran couldn’t do this. How was that even a topic with everything going on?

Still. This was his kid, so he had to answer no matter how strange or random the question seemed to be.

“Yes I did, why do you ask?” Aran hummed, expecting Atsumu to shrug and go into whatever he was thinking about.

“Well you said Osamu liked me and so I was thinkin’ about how Shigeru-kun really likes Shinji-kun as his best brother and Shinji-kun says that Tooru-san is his favorite dad but we’re not allowed to tell him that and Tooru-san played volleyball and you played volleyball and Akagi said that he played volleyball-” Atsumu sucked in a breath and continued his word vomiting, “- and I- What’s volleyball?”

Aran could only thank the gods that he had grown up with Akagi at this point. It was like having a miniature of him sitting on his lap. Thankfully Atsumu was a lot cuter and didn’t try to lick his face.

“Uh volleyball is a sport with a ball, and a team…” For someone who had played since he was nine, Aran had no idea how to explain it. “Here lemme just…”

He wrapped an arm tightly around Atsumu and dug into his jacket to grab his phone before tapping through to youtube and his old games. He finally found a familiar one from the Olympics.

“That’s Tooru-san right there. He’s the setter, which means he sets the ball for everyone- Hang on, Osamu watch out-” Aran jolted as he realized Osamu was skating towards the wall. Osamu smacked into it but just giggled and reached out for the handle to pull himself out.

“I fell!” Osamu declared happily. “Twice!”

“Wha-When?” 

“Uh… When you were grabbin’ your phone! I saw ya and I thought you were playing games and then I went to come over and boom I fell! Then I tried to get up and fwoop I fell! Then I hit the wall, what’re you watchin’?”

Aran was going to have a heart attack and it would be because of these boys, he just knew it.

“Osamu are you okay?” Aran asked carefully and Osamu bounced closer, nearly falling again as he grabbed onto Aran’s outstretched arm and stepped up until he could crawl on Aran’s other knee.

“I’m havin’ fun! Whatcha watching?” Osamu said again, reaching for the phone.

“Aran-kun was talkin’ about volleyball.”

“Volleyball?” Osamu gasped, twisting and staring at Aran as he nodded. “What’s that?”

Aran wasn’t sure if he wanted to laugh at how excited the two were about asking about volleyball or cry about how cute they were so he just sighed and hit the play button.

“This is Volleyball. That’s Tooru-san in the number two, and that’s me in the number five-” Aran explained, carefully going over the rules as the boys stared, completely enraptured in it. It was honestly the only thing Aran had ever seen them not be bored by ten minutes in.

Aran couldn’t say he was happy to drop the boys back off with Shinsuke. Not because he didn’t trust Shinsuke or worried about the boys, he just… Wanted to go inside with them. Even if it was just to watch over them a little longer or play one of their games to see them laugh. Or even… potentially get to see Shinsuke smile again.

However, he had his own job to get to and middle schoolers were known for making breaks for freedom if he wasn’t there to round them up. Osamu took off almost as soon as they were home, exploding into the house with a scream that he was taking his jacket off finally.

Atsumu was a little more… hesitant. He stopped at the threshold, turning back to look at Aran nervously. He didn’t ask anything but Aran didn’t need him too. He crouched in front of him, trying to match this kid who was turning to him for comfort with the young boy who had been chucking potatoes at his face out of jealousy last Sunday. So much had happened, lots of good and lots of bad.

“Hey now, cheer up.” Aran said, reaching forward to ruffle his hair. “I’m just going to work okay? Maybe Shinsuke will let me come over for dinner and he and I can show you how to play volleyball.”

Atsumu slowly nodded. He hadn’t talked much on the way home, leaving that for his more excited brother who had either dismissed the day before as a bad dream or was doing his best to make the most of it and cheer his brother up.

Atsumu had become more and more withdrawn the closer they got and Aran could tell he was thinking about being sent away again. He’d checked the street for extra cars, only relaxing when Osamu chirped a friendly hello loud enough to be heard from inside the house

Aran sighed, biting his lip as he thought of what to say. Shinsuke could end up being more than a little upset with him… but…

“Atsumu.” Aran said softly, waiting until nervous eyes met his. “Do you know why you don’t need to worry about being sent away?”

For a moment Atsumu looked confused, shaking his head. Then it seemed to hit him as his jaw dropped open just a tad, a whirling mass of hope and anxiety clear on his face.

“Atsumu. You still have two more weeks with Shinsuke. At the end of those two weeks, if you don’t want to stay here, you can come and stay with me. I’ll adopt you and Osamu, and you guys can come play volleyball anytime you want at the gym with me and we can keep you in the same school with all your friends and visit Shinsuke-san anytime you want.” Aran said and Atsumu froze, the only movement the rapid shaking of his chest with each breath.

“E-even…” Atsumu sucked in a harsh breath. “Even if Kita-san d-doesn’t want us? A-are you sure? Kita-san means a lot to… to you, ya said ya loved him.”

Aran hoped he wasn’t about to send a sobbing Atsumu back home to Shinsuke, because that really would get his ass kicked. He reached up to gently wipe away the few tears that spilled out of Atsumu’s eyes as he tried his best not to get his hopes up.

“Even then. Atsumu. I do love Shinsuke, but I love you and Osamu too… differently then Shinsuke but I love you both too. I don’t break my promises remember? I caught you when you fell. I’ll adopt you if Shinsuke doesn't. No matter what happens. I promise.” This time Aran wasn’t caught unaware and wrapped his arms around Atsumu as soon as the child’s arms were around him.

“I love you too.” Atsumu mumbled, then he was turning like he was embarrassed of his own declaration and ran inside after his brother.

Osamu had been more than a little disappointed to find out that they had to drop Lady off at Aran’s home, but cheered up again when Aran dropped into a shop with them for fresh hot cocoa. Atsumu was still…distant, and Aran couldn’t help but watch him as they boarded the train.

He wasn’t lagging behind or even particularly upset looking. Instead he was perfectly pressed up against Aran’s hip, face a careful blank which was almost worse. He didn’t flinch when Aran’s hand guided him by the shoulder to a seat and Aran considered that a great win.

“Hey, hey Aran-san?” Osamu’s voice shook him from his thoughts and Aran turned to him.

“Yes? Tilt your cup up straighter.” Aran said, reaching out to gently push the tilted bottom of the cup up until it was straight again. Osamu blinked at it, putting it on his knee instead of holding it freely and trying to give Aran a smile.

“Do… D’ya love Kita-san?” Osamu asked, lips twisting as he chewed on the inside. Aran stared at him a moment, debating on lying to avoid any awkward moments later or strangely intimate questions Osamu might ask Shinsuke later.

“Yes.” Aran said simply, disregarding his earlier thoughts. A few awkward questions would be fine in the long run, lying to Osamu about something that could eventually affect him and his life wouldn’t be. Not to mention the guilt was already settling in Aran’s stomach at just the thought of lying to him.

“Oh… Then… Why aren’t ya dating him?” Osamu blinked up at him, patiently waiting for an answer Aran didn’t even know how to give.

He could feel eyes on the back of his neck from Atsumu and sighed as he leaned back in the seat. He glanced around the carriage, not wanting to deal with other people butting in or scaring either of the kids.

“Well.. sometimes dating people is hard. It takes a lot of work to do that.”

“It can’t be that hard, Tooru-san has three boyfriends.” Atsumu pointed out, shrinking back slightly when Aran looked at him but relaxed a minute later when Aran laughed softly, smiling down at him.

“That is very true. But, Tooru-san has also known them since they were very young, and they’re older than Shinsuke and I. Also, it took a very long time to get where they are. They’ve been together almost ten years now. I haven’t even been in Japan for three years, I was in France remember? Shinsuke and I haven’t worked on anything like that at all.”

Atsumu hummed, trying to think about it as Osamu leaned against Aran to stare at his brother. As if he was just as excited about Atsumu’s relaxed questioning as Aran himself.

Some of it, Aran concluded, was not feeling safe in his home anymore. Having Rika-san come in and hurt him where he was previously safe must have ruined his trust in not only Shinsuke, but in having a safe place to relax.

“But...Why… wouldn’t…” Atsumu frowned, trying to form the sentence. After a moment he turned to stare at Osamu and they watched each other before Osamu perked up.

“Oh! Why wouldn’t you start now? Since you're back home now?” Osamu’s head tilted up, nearly smacking into Aran’s chin before the man pulled back.

“It’s a learning curve, trust me.” Aran said, only to get two blank looks. “Okay uh… Osamu, what if when we got to the skating rink I told you to go get your skates and go onto the ice right now and I didn’t help you, what would you say?”

“I don’t know how!” Osamu giggled. “I’ve never skated before!”

“See? Do you know how many steps there are before you can learn to skate?” He waited until both of them shook their heads. “Well, you have to learn where to get the skates, what size is yours, then how to get them on, then walk on them and then how to get to the ice. Then you have to learn how to skate. Relationships are a bit like that. You have to learn before you get to the fun part and Shinsuke and I are still learning, not quite… Ice skating yet.”

Or ever, he said internally before he flicked the annoyed thought away. He wouldn’t pretend like he wasn’t mildly upset about the knowledge that there was a very real possibility of never being with Shinsuke beyond friendship. That didn’t mean he was going to act on that, or even bring it up, his feelings were his own problems not Shinsuke’s and he’d never treat Shinsuke poorly for his own inability to get over it.

“Oh so… You and Kita-san have known each other a long time… and you love him and he loves you so… It’s like… You gotta learn to walk! So you can date!” Osamu said cheerfully and Aran was trying to wrap his head around that and how Osamu knew Shinsuke loved him, when Atsumu spoke up.

“That… means I can’t marry Shinji.” Atsumu sighed, shoulders dropping. “Cuz… I dunno how weddin’s work or marriages.”

Aran didn’t even have an answer to that. He had absolutely no idea why Atsumu was marrying Shinji, or even particularly who this Shinji was. He assumed it was one of the kids from school, but weren’t they a little young to be getting married?

“Wait!! Shinji has four dads, and they make wedding cakes and Tooru-san is a… a… wedding person! Shinji can teach you about weddings and marriages!” Osamu chirped at his brother, nearly spilling his cocoa again as Aran rushed to save it.

“Oh yeah! So I get to marry Shinji and get lotsa cookies everyday. Cuz he promised if we got married he’d be like… T-taka-... Takahiro-san and make breakfast and cookies everyday.”

Aran had absolutely no idea what was going on, but he definitely wasn’t going to say anything that would potentially erase the small smile growing on Atsumu’s lips and the bright hope in his eyes. Thankfully, they were both hyperactive six year olds and Aran didn’t think they’d be gloomy for long. It might hit again when they were back home, but for now they could just be kids and not have to worry about whether or not their next home would hurt them again.

“Sure, but uh… Why don’t we wait a little bit longer on that wedding?” Aran hummed, smiling down at them.

Toru didn’t hesitate to move over when he heard Shinsuke’s soft question, frowning at his friend. Shinsuke looked tired and more than a little sad, though he was hiding it the best he could. Tooru knew the look though, he hadn’t spent ten years with Issei to not notice when someone with a neutral face was close to crying.

“Yeah, Shin-chan, always.” Tooru tried for a grin, only to let it fade away when Shinsuke hardly reacted to the nickname. He moved across the room to the dining table, moving to kneel on one of the cushions.

Shinsuke fiddled around with something before he was walking to him, a small tray with a teapot and two cups. Tooru didn’t say anything, letting Shinsuke go through the ritual of pouring the tea and settling the cups in front of both of them. As soon as Shinsuke settled onto his own knees, Tooru couldn’t hold back any longer.

“What happened last night?” He asked. For a long minute Shinsuke didn’t say anything and the creeping fear that he was about to be fired started to build in Tooru’s chest before he realized the ridiculousness of that. Then he realized Shinsuke was crying.

There was no sound, absolutely no sign of Shinsuke’s pain beyond the silver lines tracing down his face. Twice, his tongue wet his lips before Shinsuke’s gaze shook and fell to the teapot instead of Tooru’s face.

“Yesterday… Did… not go well. I would… Like to speak as… friends about it, if you can handle that sort of talk.” Shinsuke said slowly, voice catching on the words like he was choking around them.

“I see… Let me tell ‘Hiro I won’t be coming home for breakfast- Don’t argue with me, Shinsuke-kun, I’m not leaving, you need me right now.” Tooru glared Shinsuke down as he pulled out his phone and texted his partner. Then he thought about it and texted two others, putting his phone away when Shinsuke started to look too suspicious.

“What happened?”

Shinsuke was staring at the ceiling by the time he finished, streams of tears pouring down his face with absolutely no sign of stopping.

“I…” He said softly, teeth buried in his bottom lip. “I… They don’t want me, Tooru, and I don’t know how I… I want to adopt them, but it’s just… it’s so much and I… I’m… I don’t even know at this point. I.. Everythings been thrown into the air and I can’t adjust and I feel like I’m drowning.” Shinsuke confessed, nearly jumping out of his skin as the front door opened. He shot Tooru a look as Michinari and Ren stopped to trade their shoes for slippers.

“I told them to come.” Tooru nodded at him. “They’ve helped you before, and this isn’t just about you this time. It’s also about the boys.”

“Ren can’t-”

“I will.” Oomimi said, moving towards them and kneeling down beside him. “This involves the boys, and I can’t do anything about that or them, but I can help you. If the boys decide they wish to be adopted by you, it is best to be prepared. If they do not, you still need to avoid this happening again later.”

“Part of that is our fault.” Michinari said, giving him a half smile as he moved to sit beside Tooru. He held his hand up, sharp eyes incredibly soft, to stave off Shinsuke’s refusals.

“It is. We promised you last time that we would be right here this entire time. Instead we became too complacent in letting you be in charge of everything and forgetting that you don’t come to others for help. Yes, you should have been open more but we neglected to check in on you. We left you without a proper support system after promising we would be there.” Akagi continued, reaching over to snag Shinsuke’s cup.

Shinsuke managed a full minute of steady breathing. Then he cracked with a sob, hands covering his face as the emotions rolled over and through him.

It was almost too much, knowing how much they loved him and wanted to help him. He loved them too and he felt beyond foolish for forgetting his own promise to reach out to them too when things became too much. A gentle hand landed on his back as Ren pressed against his spine, a comforting weight to ground him.

“I just… I don’t… I…” Another hand reached him, Tooru’s long fingers wrapping around his wrist with a gentle squeeze. Shinsuke tossed him a grateful but watery smile and then jumped up at the sound of slurping.

“Oh sorry, just trying to make sure you knew I was here too.” Akagi said when three sets of eyes landed on him. Ren stiffened like he was going to tell him off but Shinsuke just burst into laughter, tears still freely pouring down his face. Two other voices joined his as they laughed at Akagi who was happily sticking his tongue out at them.

Shinsuke could breathe again, the stabbing aching pains in his chest finally quelling themselves.

“Why don’t we start with the basics. Your routine.” Oomimi said after wiping at his eyes from laughing too hard.

“You are not working seven days a week anymore.” Tooru said immediately, not even trying to give the other two time to speak. “No ifs or buts about it, you work way too damn much and it’s terrifying. Which is… saying something coming from me because I literally breathed volleyball since I was eight to the point of leaving the country! Do you know how much of a workaholic you have to be to have me say you work too much? Five days max, four if you adopt the boys.”

“What? No I-” Shinsuke frowned but Tooru just glared back at him, daring him to keep arguing. Slowly, he closed his own mouth. Tooru might… have a point.

“You were working seven days a week? Gods, no wonder you’ve been having issues adapting to the boys and Aran coming back.” Michinari frowned, looking over at him and Shinsuke yelped as a foot struck his knee. 

“Michinari!” Shinsuke snapped, and was kicked again. “Okay, okay, I get it. I pushed myself too far and…”

He sighed, letting his shoulders drop slowly down.

“And I didn't take care of myself and set myself up for failure if anything happened. I know… Well, I know that now. I should have been more conscientious, instead I allowed myself to get drawn into my own routine and trapped. For all that I held myself to a certain standard in highschool, I became lax with it as an adult and faltered because of it. I assumed my own awareness would not be limited by my daily routine but did not take into account my own unwillingness to diverge from my routine. Unlike the other times, my problems now are my own fault.”

Shinsuke kept his gaze on the empty spot where his cup had been. It was easier to breathe now, but part of him was missing the night before. Curled up against a warm chest and crying his eyes out until he could sleep. Or it was just the four hours of sleep that he got. Or he just really missed Aran.

Shinsuke didn’t know anything at this point, he just wanted to take a nap. He vaguely wondered if his Granny would be disappointed in him for failing where she excelled.

He didn’t think she would, she was always his biggest supporter. However, losing what gave him his confidence and becoming so shaken to the point of giving into his own anxiety made him question whether she gave him too much trust.

At this point it didn’t particularly matter, he supposed, she had already given it to him and he needed to accept that and make himself worthy of that trust and support.

The three looked up as the office door opened, blinking in surprise at Takahiro’s head popping through. His eyes glanced around with a frown before they spotten Tooru and narrowed and switched to Shinsuke.

“Oh… oops.” Tooru said, checking his phone. Akagi winced at the mass amount of worried texts.

“I may have just texted ‘I’m not coming home’ instead of the full message in my haste to contact Akagi and Oomimi... That’s a... Not breaking up with you… Now I’ve just made him grumpy, I’ll be right back.” Tooru sighed, standing with a wince. “Do not let Shin-chan negotiate anymore days to work, or I will physically remove him myself and lock the door behind him.”

Shinsuke blinked when the eyes stayed on him, the normally friendly baker frowning over at him. Just like he had the night before. The gaze only moved when Tooru was stepping in front of him.

“I can’t believe you sent me that and didn’t think I wasn’t going to worry-” Hiro’s voice cut off as the door closed behind Tooru.

“And that is why I don’t date.” Akagi said, reaching for Tooru’s cup only to get his hand smacked by both of his friends.

“No, that is the reason I do not date, you don’t date because you don’t like people.” Oomimi sighed, grabbing Akagi’s cup to refill it for him.

“I don’t… Not like them. I just don’t see the point in being with someone forever. It’s such a pain to keep track of another person, not to mention they always worry about ‘income’.”

“Love.” Shinsuke said, the smallest smile on his lips. He tried to squash it down, well aware these two would notice it and its significance. He didn’t quite manage it, his mind very happily supplying the memories of the morning and waking up in Aran’s arms.

“Love is why people stay together and also why they don’t change jobs every week when they get bored.”

“Right. That thing you weirdos feel.” Akagi said, scrunching up his nose and Shinsuke rolled his eyes. He knew Akagi was joking, it had been an inside joke ever since Akagi realized he didn’t have romantic feelings and probably never would but it never stopped being funny watching him react.

“But… I do love you guys, and the boys.” Akagi said slowly, working his jaw before it tightened and he looked at Shinsuke with a relaxed grin. “I love you guys alot, and I… I actually really like photography… and I was thinking… If you’re not opposed to it…”

Shinsuke nearly stopped breathing as he realized what Akagi was asking, despite the hesitance. Ever since Akagi graduated, he had been on the go. Near desperate to flee the country and travel all over, escape the standards set by his parents and society and only return on occasion for them. His family.

“Michinari,” Shinsuke breathed, “there has always been a job for you here, when you were ready.”

Shinsuke elbowed Oomimi, raising a pointed eyebrow that only got an eye roll in response. Michinari, on the other hand, looked far too close to tears as he stared at Shinsuke.

“Ya mean it? I don’t have to like… Interview or somethin’?”

“I… have no idea how an interview for photography would go, but we can just go with the fact that I have never heard complaints about your photographs even from Saru-san and she’s impossible to please.” Shinsuke laughed quietly, leaning back to avoid Akagi’s grabbing hands trying to hold his.

“Second thing, we’re going out, every single week.” Akagi said, looking to Oomimi to have his back. “At least one of us is getting you out of this house, whether it’s on your days off or after work. We can trade off with the Sawamura’s and Matsukawa’s with babysitting duty, and once a week you can relax. Or ya could take Wednesday off and we can do something while the boys are in school. No more of us leaving you to your own devices. You’re always checking in on us and taking care of us. Whether it’s supporting me when I went all over the world and talking to me when I felt like I was going crazy with the language barrier, or when Oomimi works himself too hard and gets sick and needs help getting better. Hell, Shinsuke, you bent over backwards to help the Matsukawas when Akira broke his leg. We forgot you needed support too and we’re not doing that again or so help me I will move into this house… Speaking of, I need to find an apartment, Ren’s neighbor keeps flirting with me and I don’t think they realize I’m only in it for that cat.”

“I can never have a conversation with any of you without laughing, can I?” Shinsuke sighed fondly, a smile just barely gracing his lips as he looked at the tea pot distractedly. He supposed that was what he needed, he was always told he was far too serious. Maybe that was why everyone in his life was so vibrant, so filled with infectious laughter and Shinsuke could never give that up.

“Wha- any of us- Wait a second.” Akagi straightened up, turning to stare at the boba tea plush Shinsuke had brought into the kitchen after waking up with Aran and finding it on the floor. “That’s not yours and you would never buy it and you didn’t have time to get it after yesterday… Aran was here wasn’t he?”

Shinsuke’s cheeks instantly bloomed pink but he said nothing, just turned away from Ren’s searching look.

“Don’t you dare Kita Shinsuke! I have not put this much effort or mental energy into anyone else, you damn well better not be together already. I did not set up that ice skating date for-”

“Date?” Shinsuke asked slowly, turning back to stare him down.

“Uh… well… I forgot how terrifying you are, uh… well the thing is… Tooru-kun’s back!” Michinari squeaked, making the mentioned wedding planner freeze. He glanced at the three of them suspiciously and slowed down as he moved closer.

He lifted up his cushion twice and glanced under the table before slowly kneeling on the pillow. Shinsuke didn’t bother to tell him he wasn’t being pranked.

“You’re not getting out of this.” Akagi said to Shinsuke with a pointed finger before he turned to Tooru. “You okay bud? You don’t look so good, did you get yelled at or something?”

“Wha- No, no.” Tooru shook his head but he didn’t unpurse his lips or meet any of their gazes. “Hiro knows that was an accident, he just started to get worried when I didn’t respond after an hour and a half and I didn’t realize it had been that long or else I would have called or texted him back. It’s not like me to just go radio silent so he was worried something had happened to cut off the message like a car accident or something. He panics sometimes… No uh… Gods… He wanted me… to talk to Shinsuke about the boys and… well, what we went through with our boys.”

He finally looked up, eyes soft and tired and not quite there like he was lost in thought.

“Said if I didn’t yell at you for it, then he would… I didn’t want to tell him what the twins said because you didn’t give me permission to talk to anyone else about it and that’s highly personal… But… Takahiro insisted I tell you.”

“... Go ahead.” Shinsuke said when it became clear Tooru wasn’t going to speak without prompting.

“So you know we were attempting to adopt Shigeru when Issei’s sister and brother-in-law died and left Shinji without parents… At that time… Well, it wasn’t us adopting them, it was Issei and Hiro, because you know how people are about poly relationships. And yet… Shinsuke… We fought for almost a year to get Shigeru. We promised when we met him that we would be adopting him, and we almost couldn’t. Every time he saw us he’d start sobbing and asking why we didn’t do what we promised and took him home. For an entire year, we fought, we had to pay so much money for lawyers and jump through so many hoops to prove Issei and Hiro were fit parents. I wasn’t even in the country and I was fighting with them, everything I had I gave to them to try and get our son… 

Then Issei… lost his sister and brother-in-law and parents in one accident. Suddenly we had Shinji we had to adopt and take care of and we were still fighting for Shigeru because we promised we were going to adopt him and we couldn’t just walk away.”

Tooru looked like he was going to start crying next before he took a breath and straightened, staring Shinsuke in the eye. His voice shook with every word but he didn’t hesitate in his words, didn’t waver for a second.

“We had to prove we could take care of two boys then, we almost lost Shigeru to another family but his social worker thankfully asked him who he wanted to go with and he picked us. A year is how long Issei and Hiro had to fight for him. Even now he wakes up convinced we abandoned him, and won’t calm down until we’re all in the room with him. The only reason we were able to get Akira in under six months was because I’m popular. If it wasn’t for the fact that every news outlet wanted to cover Japan’s openly gay volleyball player trying to adopt a child with his partner, I don’t know if we would have even had the option to get Akira… My point, Shinsuke…

My point is, not all of us have the luck to have friends in the social working department or be certified for adoption ahead of time. It… I was going to say it upsets Hiro, but honestly all of us are a little struck by… Shin-chan, you very clearly want to adopt the boys. And while right now that’s something that’s on the border and is the boys’ decision, it has been very clear from the first day I met them that they absolutely adore you and want to be with you forever and that you love them too. Shinsuke, me and my partners got very lucky to be able to adopt our boys, our kids… You have a very clear path, that you need to decide if you’re going to take or you need to prepare the boys for their next home. Just… Fuck I am not good with emotions, this is why I have Issei and Hajime… Math is my thing, people.. Not really… Shinsuke, if you truly want to adopt the boys it has to start now, don’t make them wait any longer. They’re your boys. You don’t have to wait eight months to be approved or have social workers showing up weekly to threaten you if things aren’t perfect.” Tooru said softly, eyes soft as he looked at Shinsuke. There were tears still fluttering on his lashes like he was just barely holding himself together. His chest seemed to shake as he breathed in, trying keep himself from full on sobbing and Shinsuke couldn’t help but wonder if maybe he just really needed to cry like Shinsuke had.

“He’s not wrong,” Oomimi put in, gently taking the cup from Akagi to drink. “A lot of gay parents are fighting not only discrimination but also harassment even after they adopt. The Sawamura’s adopted from Moniwa, so their’s was mostly straight forward but it still took almost four months for each of their boys.”

Shinsuke nodded, wondering if Takahiro would be poisoning his next muffin or not. Either way, he hadn’t realized how hard it had been for them to adopt their kids. His chest ached thinking about how much they had gone through in the last two years trying to get their boys and giving them the best home they could have had. Tooru was right, Shinsuke hadn’t even thought about how much easier he had it between Oomimi and being a qualified foster parent.

He still had to convince his boys that he wanted them, but first he had some major changes he needed to worry about.

 The knock at the door barely reached through to Shinsuke. Another knock punctured the silence before he was able to stand up and move towards the entrance. Even still, Shinsuke paused, letting himself try and think over the decision to let Aran in.

 After a few seconds he realized that might be the problem. He was trying to logic his way through a very illogical situation. What was logical about human emotions? What was logical about parenthood? What was logical about being in love with your best friend for almost thirteen years and never having the courage or will to confess? What was logical about deciding to ignore any romantic pursuits only to realize it was because you’d foolishly thought your best friend would be beside you always and never move on?

 Shinsuke was almost displeased with how illogical his life was at the moment. Actually, he was extremely upset with it. He liked order, he liked routine and rules instead he’d somehow managed to take on Akagi’s wild life.

 “Hello, Lady.” Shinsuke greeted as the door opened and the poodle pushed her way through to sniffle at his leg. He reached down to stroke over her ears, taking the moment to stare at Aran’s feet instead of having to look him in the eye.

 “Shinsuke…” Aran said softly, like a whisper in the wind.

 Shinsuke sucked in a breath, then looked up.

 Aran looked soft, head tilted with amber eyes endlessly affectionate. The smallest, sad smile curved up on his lips and Shinsuke couldn’t stand it. The emotions welling in his chest, the understanding nod in his direction, even the damn boba tea plush that he      knew     Aran had brought just to tease him. It was all too much and      not enough.  

 He stepped forward without a thought, burying his face in Aran’s chest and holding onto him as tightly as he could. A sob ripped out of him as Aran held him in return.

 Shinsuke barely noticed being pushed back into the house, or the sound of the front door closing. All he cared about was Aran, holding him, touching him, being      here    . He’d forgotten how comforting it was to have Aran around, to be able to lean on him physically and mentally.

 The ice skating was just a taste of their old dynamic and Shinsuke hurt with how much he missed that.

 “It’s okay to let go.” Aran murmured, voice vibrating even deeper through his chest and Shinsuke just tightened his hold. He shook his head, only releasing one arm to scratch at Lady’s shoulders as she whined and tried to sniff at his hip.

 “Shinsuke… Just for tonight.      Let go    . You don’t have to be the strong one, not when I’m here.”

 “I’ll do something stupid, I just… I just don’t want to be alone.”

 “Shin, your definition of stupid is very different then mine.” Aran said and Shinsuke wanted to laugh.

 He wanted to laugh at the ridiculousness of the entire night. At the chances that the first person to meet the boys would be the one who gave them up years ago. The fact that he was, after three long years, back in Aran’s arms and crying. That right after the final piece to his plan fell into place, everything struck him at once.

 Part of him knew it wasn’t actually all at once, he just wasn’t prepared for it. The logical side creeping in to remind him that life wasn’t about luck but opportunities to grow like his granny always said.

 Right now, Shinsuke didn’t feel like it was an opportunity. He felt like he was drowning in responsibility he wasn’t quite as prepared for as he thought. Like he’d simultaneously trapped himself in his routine and destroyed any safety outside of it.

 “When’s the last time you did anything stupid, Shinsuke?” Aran asked, one hand gently rubbing small circles over Shinsuke’s back. “C’mon, let’s go sit in your room, the living room echoes into the back rooms. I don’t want to wake the boys… Did you eat already?”

 Shinsuke was half tempted to refuse to move, wondering if Aran would just carry him off or let Shinsuke collapse on the floor. The floor sounded much nicer than trying to have a conversation when all he really wanted to do was curl up and sleep on top of a dog and his best friend.

 “Yes.” He finally managed to push out, pulling away until Aran’s hand just barely lingered over his hip.

 There was a question on his face, eyes trained on Shinsuke. They took in everything, reading him like he was a book and Shinsuke’s chest ached.

 There was no need or want in Aran’s touch, the way it hesitated, brushed over Shinsuke’s skin before starting to pull away. Nothing on his face told Shinsuke that Aran was here for anything other than Shinsuke’s wellbeing. Aran would never ask for anything more than Shisnuke offered, never push.

 Shinsuke loved that. Loved him.

 Sometimes, like now, he wished Aran was just a touch more selfish like Shinsuke was. Chasing after what he wanted without regard to everything else around him.

 Perhaps in a way he was, Shinsuke could concede. Aran chose volleyball, Shinsuke chose his business. Perhaps Shinsuke just wanted someone else to make this choice for him so the overwhelming guilt and panic would disappear.

 The tug on his sleeve made him look down to see the fabric caught gently in Lady’s mouth. She tugged on it again, intelligent eyes looking him over with worry.

 “Okay… C’mon Lady.” Shinsuke murmured, letting her turn and lead the way down the hall sniffing curiously at the wall. Shinsuke paused before he’d gone more than a step, reaching back to wrap his fingers over Aran’s wrist.

 There was no hesitance as Aran stepped up with him, back to his side like he’d never been anywhere else. Like he would never be anywhere else.

 Shinsuke leaned into him, keeping the hand on Aran’s. Trying to memorize the feeling of Aran’s body beside his, warm and strong but so soft and tender. The way Aran’s fingers brushed over his cheek as he wiped away tears and the entire world seemed to fall away as his eyes shut and he stopped moving.

 Nothing mattered, not the ache in Shinsuke’s chest or the pain of tomorrow. Even the uncomfortable feeling of his wrist twisting to hold Aran’s desperately. The only thing that mattered was here. Now.

 Aran.

 How badly he wanted to kiss Aran, how badly he’d      always     wanted to kiss Aran.

 It wasn’t a usual feeling. Shinsuke just lived with an undercurrent of ‘Ah, I love him and I’d like to be with him right now’. Then it would hit him full force, choking and giving him life at the same time. Want and need fighting in his mind for comfort, love, touch. For      Aran    .

 He didn’t even realize how close they’d gotten until he could feel the softest breathe over his cheek. A nose brushed against his and Shinsuke almost gave in as he opened his eyes. Understanding, warm,      adoring     eyes stared back at him and Shinsuke didn’t need to look to know Aran was smiling.

 Aran was always smiling when he looked at Shinsuke. Even when he was being teased or laughed at. Even when Shinsuke insulted his ritz crackers or stole his only jacket at a festival four years ago. He didn’t stop smiling when Shinsuke called him a fool on a walk home one day for falling for an obvious prank. He didn’t stop smiling when Shinsuke would harass the first years, pretending to be far more serious and popping up behind them far more than he had any right too.

 Aran always looked at him, like he loved him. Loved loving him. Loved being in love with him, even with all this drama and pain and never getting anything but friendship in return.

 Everyone in highschool always called Shinsuke a saint, godlike, ethereal. Standing here though, in the pale yellow light from the kitchen, at the start of the dark hallway and holding Shinsuke like he was absolutely precious, Shinsuke knew Aran was the one they should have been complimenting. Aran was the amazing one, the soft and caring one, the loving and loyal one.

 Yes, Aran ate way too many crackers with cheese and told terrible jokes. Not to mention the way he never figured out how to properly clean a shower, or the fact that Shinsuke had to nag him to throw away underwear (“It’s not wasteful if it belongs in the garbage Aran.” “... They have atleast two more goes.” “They do not, I’m burning them.”). Or how Aran      always    sung songs off key to purposefully deafen them in cars, or would get beyond huffy about anyone saying peanut butter chocolate was overrated. Even though Aran chattered over people without realizing and forgot how to order coffee twice a week, Shinsuke thought he was brilliant.

 Aran was beautiful, kind, and thoughtful. He was Shinsuke’s best friend. Aran was the single most beautiful person Shinsuke could say he’d ever met.

 “I love you…” Shinsuke breathed, the words spilled out without thought or intention. He froze, pressing his eyes shut so he wouldn’t see any reaction and tried to pull away. This wasn’t the time or the place, it most certainly was not the right headspace.

 A featherlight touch graced his cheek and for a moment he thought he imagined it. As if a fox had run past, that half touch the only sign of his existence.

 “I know, Shinsuke.” Aran said and Shinsuke wanted to insist he      didn’t know    . Because if he      did     then why was he being so kind and considerate? Why hadn’t he just told Shinsuke before all of this and told him not to be an absolute idiot and give up on not only the only person Shinsuke ever wanted to spend his life waking up beside but his      best friend    ?

 “Shin,” Aran’s voice shifted to gently admonish as if he could hear the thoughts in Shinsuke’s mind, “whatever thing you’re thinking, stop. This isn’t a matter to regret. I’m here      now    . That’s all that matters. You’re not one to get caught up in the past, don’t let me change that after twenty eight years.”

 “I’m sorry.” The words were a croak that Shinsuke hated, revealing how weak he was, how tired, how lonely. “I’m sorry I can’t… Not right now, I shouldn’t have said anything-”

 “C’mon.” Aran didn’t bother to ask this time, moving to tug Shinsuke further down the hall, past the boys’ room.      The boys.  

 Just thinking on how much he’d failed them hurt. His boys. All of his boys. He’d hurt all of them in one day and Shinsuke couldn’t find a grip. Nothing felt solid except Aran and the pressure of Lady against his leg.

 Shinsuke didn’t put up a fight at all, allowing himself to be guided back to the bedroom. He made the last two steps by himself, falling face first into the comforter with his legs hanging off.

 “Should I just leave you there then?” Aran teased gently before he was sliding his arms under Shinsuke and moving him properly into the center of the bed and sitting beside him. Shinsuke moved to sit up, only to hear a patter of paws and then the weight of a fifty pound poodle on his legs.

 “Gods- Lady, off the bed. You’re not allowed on other people’s beds.” Aran moved to push her off before Shinsuke reached for his hand this time.

 “It’s okay, she can stay on my bed I really don’t mind.” Shinsuke told him, blinking up into the familiar gaze. “Really… She helps.”

 “Okay… Atleast she doesn’t shed.” Aran sighed, reaching down to scratch at her cheek before she laid her head down over the back of Shinsuke’s knee.

 Aran shifted until he was lying on his back beside him. He turned his head to meet Shinsuke’s gaze and almost laughed at Shinsuke’s quirked eyebrow.

 “Is… Is this one of those things that happens in Oomimi’s rom coms?” He asked slowly and Aran actually snorted, nodding.

 “Yes, this is exactly like those stupid rom coms… Stop distracting me, bad Shinsuke. Talk about your feelings for once.” Aran murmured, voice softening again and Shinsuke ached.

 “Haven’t I said enough? Haven’t I ruined enough lives tonight?”

 “      You     haven’t ruined anything. ‘Cept maybe your sheets with Lady’s nails, they’re due for a trim.” Aran said, keeping it just light enough that Shinsuke hurt more but could feel himself relaxing regardless. “Hey.”

 Shinsuke watched him shift closer, reaching up to stroke Shinsuke’s cheek and hesitating just over his cheek bone. Waiting. Endlessly waiting for Shinsuke to let him have anything, Aran would wait eons for just a touch.

 “Just for tonight, Shinsuke. Nothing that happens tonight has to continue in the morning. Tonight you can cry and scream, anything you need.”

 “Nothing has to continue in the morning.” Shinsuke repeated, eyes flicking down. “What if I asked you to kiss me?”

 “Shin.” There was a touch of admonishment and Shinsuke wanted to curl in on himself before the fingertips finally made it to his cheek. “Do you really think I would lie to you? About that of all things?”

 “That of all things?” Shinsuke murmured, not really able to stop himself from repeating.

 “Shinsuke, I’ve never gone back on my word and I don’t intend to start now. Besides, it’s not as if you don’t know I’ve loved you for almost thirteen years now. Waiting for you is perfectly fine with me, if you want me to kiss you and forget it tomorrow morning I can do that.”

 “... You never said anything.” Shinsuke didn’t look away, couldn’t. He didn’t want to lose sight of Aran for a second. The fingertips on his cheek were soft, too soft, and Shinsuke felt like Aran was one blink from disappearing.

 One blink, one moment of letting Aran drift a touch too far and Shinsuke feared he would wake to a world where Aran never returned to him. One where he would awaken with tears on his face and an empty heart, dregs of dreams turned into nightmarish thoughts. A world where it wasn’t just Aran missing, but the entirety of this last upheaval in his life. No boys, no laughter, no shopping trips and family dinners, no Akagi making him laugh and Oomimi holding him up on skates.

 A world where Shinsuke was just as he thought he wanted to be.

 In control of everything and so terribly, terribly alone.

 “Shinsuke.” There was that smile again, sad but affectionate. Voice deep and so familiar like Shinsuke was coming home. Just Shinsuke’s name was enough to make him feel like his chest was cracking and his heart was healing. It was so much and far too little.

 “I have been telling you how much I love you, from the day we met, with far fewer words.” Aran’s fingers traced down his cheeks, and Shinsuke felt the tension bleed out. “And I will be telling you until the day we can no longer meet. Then I will find you and start again.”

 A sob ripped out of Shinsuke’s chest before he even realized it was building. Two more followed before his eyes were too blurry to see and he reached for Aran desperately as his eyes pinched shut. Strong arms wrapped around him and the bed rocked as Aran moved closer, pulling Shinsuke onto his chest as much as he could without disturbing Lady.

 Shinsuke clung to him, another harsh cry ripping from him as tears poured down his face. Everything seemed desperate to escape.

 The hidden fear of the business failing. The terror of the boys hating him. The pain of knowing he still couldn’t have Aran even knowing they loved each other. The idea that the twins could be hurt over and over again because Shinsuke failed them. The guilt that rolled in his stomach knowing that Oomimi would blame himself for all of this, for not checking better on Rika. The pain of knowing Akagi would bear the burden of Shinsuke’s break, thinking it was his own fault for not returning home more and seeing it coming. The horrifying, terrifying, disgusting idea that if all of this ended and things went back to before, he would be so alone.

 Not once did Aran’s hands leave him, not once did the steady heartbeat stutter.

 “I’m sorry.” The words hissed out, over and over again like a prayer that Shinsuke never wanted to memorize.

 “What did I tell you about apologizing?” Aran murmured into his hair, lips brushing over the strands and making Shinsuke shudder.

 “Dunno… Wasn’t listenin’... just listenin’ to your voice.” Shinsuke admitted, keeping his eyes closed as he pressed against the firm chest. His fingers curled in Aran’s shirt, clinging to him desperately. Lips pressed against his head and Shinsuke sighed, trying to keep absolutely everything from spilling out.

 He couldn’t.

 Word after word, if poured from him like a waterfall. Powerful and dangerous, secrets Shinsuke hadn’t even realized he had. Fears so entwined in Shinsuke’s being he had forgotten that others didn’t know they even existed. Everything fell, hissed and whispered again a warm heart beat and endless comfort.

 Exhaustion seemed to creep over him like a blanket, but the idea of sleeping and waking alone was too much to bear.

 “Shin.. Gods, how long have you had this bottled up? Didn’t I tell you before? You forget you need coping mechanisms too… Try talking with someone if one of us isn’t available. You have a lot of friends who would do anything for you.” Aran murmured, fingers tracing endless designs over Shinsuke’s back as he moved his head to be able to look into Shinsuke’s face. “Open your eyes, Shin, you need to talk, not fall asleep.”

 Shinsuke wanted to insist that he’d just done far too much talking and that he wasn’t planning on      ever     doing something so emotionally draining again. But he was tired and Aran’s voice was sweet with love and care, so much kinder than his own inner voice reminding him that it was      his    job to take care of the others not Aran’s. Aran’s voice was a light in the dark, a beacon guiding him home and Shinsuke never wanted to lose sight of it, already craving the smile that always seemed to whisper ‘I love you.’

 There it was. The moment Shinsuke opened his eyes, that gorgeous smile that had been telling Shinsuke everything he needed to know about where Aran’s heart was for years.

 There was so much in thirteen years that Aran had done so naturally that Shinsuke never really thought about it. So much that he had done in return that he hadn’t thought about because it was Aran. What wouldn’t he do for him?

 Why wouldn’t he hold his hand at their first shrine visit together when Aran had forgotten his gloves? Why wouldn’t Aran always tuck Shinsuke into his jacket when the wind took them by surprise? Why wouldn’t Shinsuke sit by his side for hours when his first dog died? Why wouldn’t Aran travel almost three hundred miles to hold him when his Grandmother fell ill? Why wouldn’t Shinsuke drop everything into the hands of a coworker he’d known for a week, to fly across the country and see with his own eyes that Aran was okay after an accident?

 Why wouldn’t Shinsuke finally give in? When everything was right there, so close and so tempting. When the pieces fit, already crafted and molded together. Two giant puzzles, beautiful and challenging on their own, but combined were so much greater.

 Why couldn’t Shinsuke say anything?

 “You can say it.” Aran whispered, endless understanding in deep brown eyes.

 “I can’t.” The words struggled to come out after the flood he’d just given. “I can’t do anything with the words.”

 “You have to start listening to me for once, you might find that I know what I’m talking about on occasion.” Aran chided, familiar in all it’s nagging glory. Shinsuke wasn’t sure when the last time he was on the receiving end of it was but it was nice all the same.

 “I told you. One night. Tonight. You are not Kita Shinsuke, shop owner and foster parent. You are Kita Shinsuke, held down by a dog and a giant idiot with a huge crush on a… pretty great guy who understands that you’re not ready for a romantic relationship.”

 “... I can’t believe this entire time I’ve had a huge crush on Azumane and nobody told me.”

 “How can you be crying and still manage to be a little shit? How does that even work? You’re      cryin’     Shin, and you’re trying to harass me of all people?” Aran’s face was filled with wild bewilderment and Shinsuke only managed a few seconds before he was bursting into laughter.

 Aran laughed with him, chest shaking under him but Shinsuke just laid against it. Like the spring warmth after winter, laughter felt so much better now. A reminder that they weren’t just sad moments built up with pain, no matter how much it felt like that now. Pain was a part of growing but that wasn’t all there was, never had been.

 “I missed your laugh. I missed      you     Shin.” Aran said, and for a heartbeat panic welled in Shinsuke’s chest. Then he let it go with a sigh, moving to rest his chin on Aran’s chest instead, blinking slowly at him like a content cat.

 “... You’re not wrong… I’m not ready for a romantic relationship. I don’t… I don’t understand them, not really. Kids I understand, it hurts… knowing what I’ve done and how I’ve hurt them, but I      understand     the boys. I know how to help them, how to keep them healthy and listen to them, I know how to make sure they’re safe and how to comfort them if they get injured… But…” There was no judgement in Aran’s eyes and that was the only thing pushing Shinsuke forward. “But romantic relationships I don’t know, and I don’t have the time or… honestly the will to learn how to do one. Not right now… If… If the boys forgive me, then they’re all I want to focus on.

 But you’re…. Aran you’re like home. It’s so easy with you, beyond kissing I can’t even say anything would change really… But I would know it changed, I would know I owe you more time and attention and… emotional support. I would be making a commitment to you that I don’t intend to keep. Not when the twins are the other choice and I only have the ability to handle one right now. Maybe when… I.. when the boys are older, and they don’t need constant emotional support to survive, then we can give something a try. But I can’t promise you anything.”

 “I know. But I can.” Aran hummed deep in his chest and Shinsuke wanted to fall asleep to the vibrations. “I can promise you that I won’t push you, I’ll help with the boys just like Akagi and Oomimi, I’ll be here if you’re ever ready. I’m not looking for romance. Don’t tell Akagi because I refuse to deal with his questions, but it’s not like I haven’t dated in the past ten years. Even with volleyball… I dated within volleyball and out… and no matter what I never found anyone I could say I would be willing to commit to for the next eighty years. With everyone else I wasn’t willing to work out all our problems, or give my all for their happiness. It wasn’t fair to them and it wouldn’t be fair to anyone further down. Love is a commitment and a promise and the only one I’m willing to offer that to is you. And if you can never accept then I’m fine with that, Shin. ‘Cuz I’m still your best friend and I fully intend on harassing you for the rest of both of our lives and then quite a bit after that.”

 “Aran…”

 “I love you, Shinsuke. As a friend and as a lover, but whatever we are is up to you.” Aran said and Shinsuke let his head fall to the side, focusing on the smooth heartbeat, steady and strong. Of course he had to go and fall for the one guy who would actually promise to wait eighty years and then some more just to see if Shinsuke would finally be ready for him.

 “I don’t… Just… for tonight… Can you stay with me? Like this.” Shinsuke said, tugging on the shirt before pausing. “Or y’know, without that part.”

 “I cannot believe you. I’m pouring my heart out to ya and you’re teasing me.” There was nothing but adoration and humor in Aran’s eyes and Shinsuke knew the tease was alright. Their old boundaries still applied, which was to say hardly any at all.

 “So you’re sleeping in the shirt then?”

 Aran grumbled something in french, probably rude, before he was sliding out from under Shinsuke and heading towards the closet.

 “I’m takin’ your sweat pants and if I stretch ‘em out I’m keepin’ them.” Aran yawned, accent thickening with exhaustion. A weight started to settle on Shinsuke’s body as he realized how late it was, nearing one a.m. and they’d both been up since five.

 Guilt rolled in Shinsuke’s stomach but before it could build, Aran was already back in the bed, pulling up the covers and climbing in. He snapped his fingers for Lady’s attention and pat his own legs.

 She eyed him for a moment before Shinsuke started to move and she finally jumped off and settled on her owner’s knees. Shinsuke barely managed to stumble over to the dresser and strip off his clothing and pull on clean pajamas before he was making his way back and burrowing under the blankets.

 He didn’t hesitate to move directly over to Aran, tucking himself between Aran’s chest and arm. He moved his head to rest over his heart, the steady thump nearly putting him to sleep immediately.

 Gentle fingers stroked through his hair and he sighed, cracking open his eyes again. He shifted, giving up his comfortable spot to lean just over Aran. Amusement and curiosity danced in his eyes, as the hand drifted down from his hair to the back of his neck.

 Shinsuke hummed, leaning down only to hesitate.

 “Promise you won’t hate me in the morning?” He asked, because Aran never broke promises. A promise from Aran was like a fact of life. Something that Shinsuke could rely on no matter what happened, constant and consistent.

 “I promise.” Aran breathed, leaning up just enough to bump their noses together. Shinsuke couldn’t stop the smile from spreading across his face, even as tiredness tugged at him and his eyes burned from crying, he just wanted to stay like this forever. In Aran’s arms, smiling like everything would be okay.

 Shinsuke kissed him, sighing against the warm lips that slid together like they’d been doing this for years. He wasn’t expecting fireworks, that’d always sounded ridiculous and honestly a bit weird to hear loud explosions from a kiss. But there was still... something. Not a spark, but a pleasant warmth that washed over him as their lips moved slowly, gently. Just like the rest of him, Aran’s lips felt like home, like Shinsuke was right where he belonged. Drawing him in and sapping any remaining tension from him with a familiarity that defied the newness of the arrangement.

 Shinsuke could feel his ears burning and the twist in his stomach as he pulled back an inch. He was almost pleasantly surprised to realize he was nervous. That was new but not unwelcome, not when it came to Aran atleast.

 Aran leaned up just enough to kiss him again, the hand on his neck just drawing Shinsuke back down into it again. Shinsuke didn’t bother to count them, though he suspected Aran was probably cataloging them all. By the time they kissed again, Shinsuke probably would barely remember how the first one felt beyond the rush of adrenaline and the warm settling of contentment in his stomach.

 A yawn broke it up, catching Shinsuke’s tooth on Aran’s nose as he pulled up too sharply. He whined tiredly, scrubbing at blurry, dry eyes. He let them droop for a moment and Aran took advantage to tug him back down into his arms. This time Shinsuke was tucked under his head, arm wrapped around his waist.

 Lady was instantly back on Shinsuke’s legs, like she was aware she was now allowed to interrupt without being shooed off.

 “S’ch a good girl.” Shinsuke yawned as he reached down to pet her. “Tra’ned her really good.”

 “I know, Shin… Get some sleep, we’ll deal with things as they come okay? Starting with tomorrow.”

 “Mm… ‘Slong as you’re still my best friend… I’ll be just fine… Aran? One more promise?” Shinsuke mumbled into Aran’s pec, splaying his hand over his stomach. His tired brain was more than a little amused at the difference of their skin, tracing his finger over the small scars from the years. A few he knew, a few he didn’t but all rather thick or long compared to Shinsuke’s own tiny nicks on his fingers from fabric scissors and needles. It honestly wasn’t fair, Aran had absolutely no right to look as gorgeous as he did.

 “Shin, are you going to keep talking to my abs or are you going to finish your sentence?” Aran tried not to laugh, he really did but tired Shinsuke was almost as much of a blabber mouth as drunk Shinsuke. Aran found it far too amusing watching him mumble about how hot Aran was to Aran’s own chest.

 Shinsuke used to wax poetry about his skin tone when they were drunk their first few years out of highschool, often followed by admiration of his arms or face. Once, Aran even managed to get him to admit he was jealous Aran could grow decent facial hair. Aran had no idea how Shinsuke had come to the conclusion that Aran      didn’t     know he was in love with him. He wasn’t very subtle at the best of times.

 “Shh… I need ya to promise me… Ya won’t take Lady away… I love Lady. She’s m’ dog.” Shinsuke grumbled as he snuggled in closer.

The press of a wet nose wasn’t a particularly new thing to Aran. Lady had been shoving her nose into his neck since the first day they met and he fully expected that to continue well into her old age. He still wasn't expecting it after the poodle had curled up over Shinsuke’s legs and refused to move for either of them.

“D’ya really have to pee? Now of all times?” Aran groaned into the pillow, the soft tickle of hair under his chin before he felt Lady shift. She pulled back. Then her paw pressed between himself and the warm body of Shinsuke against his chest.

The quietest whine broke from her as the paw scrambled to pet at his side to not wake Shinsuke. She finally found a grip and leaned over, snuffling at his face again.

“Okay, okay yes, I’m up… I’ll take you to the bathroom… get off of Shinsuke, okay? Off.” He ordered, sitting up and rubbing at his eyes. Shinsuke mumbled something in his sleep, wiggling slightly at the lack of warmth on his back before he wrapped his arms tighter around the pillow in his arms.

Aran’s heart warmed, softening as he watched his best friend so at peace after the exhausting night. He brushed his hair back into place, taking a moment to wonder at how soft it was. He leaned down, pressing a soft kiss against his temple.

“I’ll bring Lady back in, in a moment, don’t start getting grumpy and wake up because she’s not snuggling you.” Aran murmured, teasing. Shinsuke reacted to his voice, the quietest mumble of his name on Shinsuke’s lips and Aran’s chest tightened.

The memories of the night before were bittersweet. Tinged with pain and hope and far too much heartbreak for Aran to say he was happy. He’d made far too many promises and far too few. Still, no regrets lingered. Not for Shinsuke, not for himself. His best friend was inches from him, safe and sound and no regret could ever stain that.

He pulled away, carefully extracting himself from the blankets. Lady leaped, barely managing to not fall off before jumping down the floor. She pressed her shoulder against his leg, trying to herd him forward.

“Yes, yes I am aware you need to use the bathroom. This is the first time in years you’ve done this at night. Are you okay?” Aran asked, looking down at her but she just stared resolutely forward. He sighed and stepped out, making room for her to squeeze passed.

Instead of heading to the backdoor, she turned down the hall. Aran shrugged, wondering if she just forgot that he showed her the backyard. Then she turned into the bathroom.

“Wha- No you can’t drink out of the tub, you’re a weird dog…” Aran blinked in surprise at the two boys staring at him from the bathroom. Lady was already sniffing at them, trying to lick every inch of skin she could find. They, on the other hand, looked quite terrified.

“Hey you.. You two okay?” Aran asked slowly but still Atsumu flinched, mouth moving but no sound escaping as he shook. His hand reached out to fist in Osamu’s shirt, for once unable to be the protector.

“Wh-what are you d-doing here Aran-san?” Osamu asked, voice a tired croak as he looked up at him.

“Uh, Shinsuke asked me to come over… He missed Lady.” Aran said carefully, flicking his eyes behind them. The washing machine was half stuffed with bedding and Atsumu was still trying to hide from Aran’s gaze. 

Ah.

Aran carefully stepped into the bathroom.

“Why don’t we get this taken care of? So you don’t have to climb on it to be able to hit the buttons and get the washing powder?” He kept his gaze on the machine, trying to pretend he didn’t see the way the boys flinched away from him.

It wasn’t their fault they were scared, but that didn’t mean it didn’t hurt to watch them shrink away from him. They looked absolutely terrified, and Aran had no idea how to comfort them. Just like the night before he was at a loss and all he could do was let them lead him.

“There we go,” Aran gently gathered up the comforter and sheet and pushed it in further, “It’s alright boys it happens.”

The barest hint of urine hit his nose, confirming what he assumed happened. It wasn’t unusual for abused kids, either being too scared or too apathetic after an emotional day to leave their bed. Sometimes it even happened in their sleep, leaving them frightened and surprised the next day.

Aran tossed in a few packets of the soap Shinsuke had and moved to start the machine. Then he glanced at the boys as it rumbled to life.

“Are those clean pajamas?” Aran asked, looking at Osamu so Atsumu didn’t feel the need to hide any deeper in Lady’s fur.

Osamu swallowed thickly, trying to brace his shoulders like he was going to take any hit that came for him and his brother.

“No… I… I had an accident.” Osamu said, lip trembling. “I’m… I’m s-s-sorry.”

“It’s quite alright… You guys didn’t take a shower last night right?” He waited until they shook their heads. “I know it’s a little early, but why don’t you go take a shower now? I’ll throw your clothes in the wash and get you some fresh pajamas.”

They looked like they were going to say no before Atsumu reached for his shirt and started to haltingly tug it off. Osamu copied his brother and Aran quickly tossed the clothes on top of the washer.

“I’ll throw those in next, you can’t wash them together.” Aran informed them when Osamu started to look more than a little confused. “Okay, let’s get in the shower, get you all clean and you guys can sleep again.”

Aran led them over to the shower head, pulling the body wash down and two wash cloths from the caddy. He flipped on the warm water, checking the temperature before stepping away again.

“No baths, just a shower and make sure you get real clean okay?” These weren’t his kids, he couldn’t stay and watch them to make sure they did it properly. Besides, they already looked so jumpy just knowing he was in the house he didn’t want to push it when they had to turn their backs to him in order to get clean.

The boys nodded and stared at him until he stepped out and slipped out of the bathroom.

He quickly dug through their dresser to pull out warm pajamas, trying to remember where Shinsuke kept the bedding. It was either in the hall closet or in the second office and Aran wasn’t sure he trusted Akagi’s ‘office’ that he used when he visited. He’d heard too many stories of Akagi just crashing there after too much alcohol and Aran was far too tired for that. Already the bed was calling him back but he had a job to do.

When he returned to the bathroom after grabbing towels, there was no laughter. Not like when Shinsuke had bathed them the first night, when their sounds of happiness echoed through the house. It was almost deathly quiet but a quick glance proved both of them were very much alive and reaching up to turn off the water.

“I’ve got towels.” Aran called, aware there wasn’t anything he could do to not startle them. Lady stood up from next to the toilet immediately, moving to lick at their hands and trying to slip into the wet room.

“Lady, no. No water, you can go swimming later.” Aran said, side eyeing her as she tossed her head haughtily but stepped back out. “Yes, yes, you’re very pretty. Why don’t you go back to bed?”

She huffed and sat, staring him down as if to say ‘I’m working right now and you can’t tell me what to do.’

Aran was tempted to remind her that that was literally his job, to tell her what to do. Because she was a dog. He didn’t though, and definitely not because she was more stubborn than he was at two in the morning.

“Let’s dry you two off.” Aran hummed, passing over two towels. The boys didn’t speak, barely even glancing at him or each other as they scrubbed at their skin. They paused, a tired glance between them before they looked away again and scrubbed at their own hair.

Aran passed over the clothes as they finished, making sure they were dressed properly as they tried to quiet a few yawns. He moved to carefully herd them to their room but Lady intervened instead.

Carefully she pressed between them, turning to nudge their hands into her fur. They looked at Aran in confusion but when he nodded they obediently gripped her fur. She stepped forward, barely waiting for them to catch up as she made her way to their bedroom. She stopped in front of their bed, quickly jumping up and moving to press against the wall before laying down.

Atsumu’s eyes quickly flashed to Aran, fear of punishment clear despite having no control over Lady.

“It’s alright, Shinsuke said she’s allowed on the beds.” Well, technically Shinsuke had said Lady was allowed on his bed, but Aran would take any admonishment for it. It wasn’t like Shinsuke would be able to bring himself to discipline the boys right now anyways.

“She’ll stay with you, okay? Keep ya safe.” Aran said softly and Atsumu’s shoulders seemed to relax just a touch before he was crawling into the bed and tucking himself into her side. She kept her head up, watching Osamu until he crawled into the bed too, latching onto his brother.

“Can.. Can you get k… Ki-chan?” Osamu whispered, like he was trying to trust Aran but was completely terrified of being wrong. Aran gave him the gentlest smile he could.

“Yeah of course.” He moved over to the other bed, in the top corner two foxes were next to each other and Aran grabbed both. He moved to pass the Ruppell’s fox to Osamu, then laid the other above Atsumu’s head so he could grab it if he wanted it.

“Get some sleep you two, you’ve had a stressful day.” Aran murmured, moving almost on instinct to brush Osamu’s slightly damp hair down. Thankfully he didn’t flinch, just sighed and snuggled into the thick comforter.

Aran turned back to the bed, moving to remove the plastic cover Shinsuke had in place specifically for this.

“What’re you doin’?” Atsumu’s voice piped up, a glitter of eyes just barely visible over his brother’s black hair.

“Takin’ this off. It’s what keeps your bed from getting wet if you have an accident. Don’t worry, I’ll clean it off and make the bed again. Get some sleep, Atsumu, Osamu.” Aran said, watching Lady lay her head down over Atsumu’s hair, almost reaching Osamu.

After a moment, the glint of eyes disappeared and left Aran to take care of the other bed. He traded in the clothes for the comforter and hung it up to dry before he finally made his way back to Shinsuke’s bed again.

He didn’t bother to even entertain the idea of moving to the couch, the bed was warm and comfortable. Shinsuke already let him in once, it would be fine for the remaining three hours of the night.

“You stole my dog, you promised you wouldn’t.” The sleepy voice reached him as he pulled the blanket up to his cheek again. Aran laughed softly, getting comfortable and ignoring the whininess in Shinsuke’s voice.

“She’s my dog.” Aran reminded him, rolling his eyes at Shinsuke’s mumbled insistence that it was a lie. “And she’s with the boys, that’s not my fault.”

Shinsuke rolled over in  the bed, eyes half open with worry.

“The boys- Are they okay?”

“Hey now, they’re just fine.” Aran reached out to lay a firm hand on Shinsuke’s shoulder as he started to rise. “They wet the bed, I already cleaned the bed and had them change and shower and the clothes are washing right now. I took care of everything.”

“You… didn’t promise that.” Shinsuke murmured sleepily, starting to drift off again and moving a little closer. Aran shook his head fondly, sliding the hand down his shoulder to his back, guiding him closer.

“Not everything needs a promise, Shin. Sometimes it’s just enough to have faith.” Aran whispered against his hair.

“Aran…” Shinsuke started, trailing off and Aran hummed in response as sleep tugged at his eyes.

“Let yourself relax Shinsuke… It’s still tonight.” Aran murmured against the feather soft hair. Shinsuke seemed to go completely boneless in his arms. Shinsuke scooted closer, until he could wrap an arm around Aran’s chest and close his eyes completely.

“I suppose it is… I’ll see you in the morning Aran.”

Aran didn’t bother responding. Shinsuke was already asleep, lips curved in a small smile and breath hot on Aran’s chest. A comforting warmth against the worry in Aran’s stomach.

Aran woke up alone.

He wasn’t overly surprised, they had agreed that yesterday wasn’t going to be continued any further after the night ended. He had been hoping he’d atleast get his dog back, but Aran was preparing to just move in because he didn’t think Lady would willingly leave if she stayed any longer.

He pulled himself out of bed, not bothering to pull on a shirt in the warm house.

“W… Where’s Aran-san?” Osamu’s voice came from around the corner as Aran made his way to the end of the hall.

“He’s uh.. He’s still asleep.” Shinsuke’s voice sounded tired, almost imperceptible but Aran knew something had happened. It wasn’t major, but even small things could feel like a lot after the night before.

“I just got up.” Aran said as he came around the corner, smiling softly at the two boys standing just outside the kitchen. Shinsuke was flipping something on the stove, with Lady comfortably spread out between them.

“I’m so glad that I have a loyal dog, who would never betray me and will always love me.” Aran said sarcastically, watching Lady’s tail thump before she returned to staring at Shinsuke’s leg. “Hey you two, sleep okay?”

Atsumu flinched but nodded his head after a second, looking only slightly more relaxed than the night before. Osamu managed a full smile, small though it was.

“Yes sir… Lady makes a good pillow.” He said, hesitantly but Aran was just grateful Osamu was still trying to communicate.

He supposed that made sense. Though Osamu had been the quieter one at first, he’d also been the first one to branch out and adapt. He was still hoping for a better future.

Atsumu had given up on being anything but abandoned and abused. Aran didn’t know how to help but to keep trying and letting Atsumu know he was safe. They only had two weeks left, however, and Aran wasn’t sure that was enough time at all. Atsumu might never trust again.

Whatever happened, Aran knew the boys didn’t need anymore appointments with potential adoptees. Not now, between trying to get them to want to stay and the disastrous attempt the night before. Whatever happened at the next home was out of Aran’s control, but for now he could try and keep the possibility of a ‘next house’ from becoming a reality.

“She does, she makes the best pillow, when she’s not abandoning you.” Aran said, moving over to crouch next to her and aggressively rub her belly. She wiggled, a single bark escaping as she tried to lick at his face with excitement.

“Oh? Oh now you love me huh? What about last night? You abandoned me twice, you didn’t even tell me goodnight, you just left me. I was lonely.” Aran insisted but she just wiggled without a trace of sympathy or apology.

“Stop bullying my dog.” Shinsuke said from the stove and Aran’s jaw dropped. Behind him, he could hear the soft hushed giggles of one of the boys.

“She’s… She’s not even your dog! She’s mine!” Aran insisted, massaging her ears.

“Oh? C’mere girl.” Shinsuke said, not even looking over. Instantly Lady was on her feet and moving over to him, sitting obediently at his feet and looking up at him for his next order.

“I’m going back to France.” Aran grumbled, moving to stand as Shinsuke finally turned. Aran watched Shinsuke move to hand Lady a small pinch of white rice and stared at him.

“You’re cheating.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” Shinsuke insisted, though Aran watched his eyes drop down. They slid over Aran’s form with only the barest hint of pink on his ears and the slightest curve of a smirk on his lips.

Aran almost covered his chest, and had they been alone this would have been the best way to get revenge for stealing for his dog. He’d have to just get back at him later, maybe by eating all of his tofu burgers he loved.

“That’s it, I’m taking the boys and we’re going to France. Whadd’ya think boys?” Aran glanced back at them, all the teasing was worth it to see Atsumu’s lips twitching up. Osamu was giggling behind a hand before shaking his head.

“We wanna stay with Lady.” Osamu said, blinking up at Aran with hopeful eyes.

“Oh I understand… So we’re going to France with Lady.” Aran asked and Osamu burst into giggles again and nodded rapidly, only slightly tugging on Atsumu’s shirt to try and get him to laugh too.

“Try again, I’m Lady’s favorite.” Shinsuke said, and Aran looked back at him holding two plates up. “Breakfast time for everyone but the dog thief.”

“Oh you’re not eating? That’s too bad, after all that work you just did.” Aran shot back, laughing as Shinsuke looked away to pretend he didn’t hear anything. “C’mon boys, let’s go eat okay?”

Aran helped herd the boys over, sighing when Lady plopped herself down and then crawled under the table to occasionally lick at the boys’ feet. Each time she found one, the boys wiggled trying to muffle laughter.

Even Atsumu couldn’t help but smile a little, legs writhing trying to find a safe place to stay. As soon as Shinsuke moved to the table, though, he seemed to deflate again, looking pointedly down at the table.

Osamu wasn't pulling his eyes from his brother but Aran could see the pain clearly on Shinsuke’s face. The half-built up panic at the idea that the children he had come to love as his own so quickly, hated and feared him. 

Aran stepped up beside him, taking a plate in one hand and gently pressing his fingertips against Shinsuke’s lower back to ground him.

“Give them time. They love you.” Aran murmured in his ear, trying to hold himself back from pressing a kiss there. Perhaps the night before had been a mistake, feelings hidden away for too long given moments of light and hope and now craved more and more.

“So you keep saying.” Shinsuke breathed back, only the slightest flash of his normal neutral expression of displeasure.

“When have I ever lied to you?” Aran said as he pulled away, laying the plate in front of Atsumu and holding his hand out to Shinsuke.

“... First year of High School, you told me you were five foot nine, and you were actually five foot eleven.”

“Okay, I’m bad at listening to the doctor, when did I ever lie intentionally?”

Shinsuke didn’t have an answer to that one and quickly handed over Osamu’s plate instead.

Breakfast was quiet, even after the initial teasing neither Shinsuke nor Aran could bring themselves to laugh and joke looking at the twins. Osamu managed a smile here or there, but Atsumu didn’t seem quite able to bring himself to look up from his plate.

He’d shrunk away when Shinsuke reached for his cup to refill it, and flinched when Aran dropped a chopstick. Even after relaxing in the kitchen, he was on edge all over again when he was easily able to become the focus of attention. Lady tried her best, but Atsumu only managed a few pets before he ignored her and Osamu took over helping the attention hog get extra love.

“Before we finished breakfast,” Shinsuke said slowly, glancing at both of the boys as they froze. “I wanted to ask about something. You went through a lot yesterday and I know you probably don’t want to go to school… If you want to stay home that’s okay with me.”

Osamu perked up, before he deflated again. His mouth worked but nothing came out, silver eyes darting back and forth between Atsumu and Shinsuke. His fingers tightened around his chopsticks and Aran was worried he was going to start crying from the tension and emotional weight he was under. Instead, Lady popped out from under the table.

She nudged his cheek twice until he was blinking at her and then laid over his lap. She wrapped her teeth around his hand and dragged it to her back, tugging gently until he started to pet her slowly. Aran couldn’t help but think how lucky he was to have her.

“School’s important.” Atsumu finally spoke, still staring down at his plate. The words were monotone, like he was just repeating something he’d been told so many times.

“So is your mental health, Atsumu. You’re under a lot of stress right now… It’s your decision but I want you to know the options. You can go with me to the shop and hang out with Asahi or Keiji, you can stay here and play games… What would you like to do?” Shinsuke tried, the barest hint of desperation slipping into his voice. He wanted, needed, Atsumu to be okay. He needed to know he didn’t break Atsumu further and even as patient as Shinsuke was he was human. Impatience was normal.

Shinsuke wanted Atsumu to be happy, and needed to know how to do that. He’d give Atsumu the world if he asked but Atsumu would never ask and that was the problem. He’d never ask for anything even as he wasted away. The only thing he’d ever want, was Osamu to be happy.

Atsumu opened his mouth to repeat himself when Aran spoke up.

“You can come with me?” He offered, giving a light smile when the twins both looked up at him with surprise. “I’m sure we can do something fun and if we can’t then we can atleast play with Lady… Maybe go ice skating or to an arcade?”

Their eyes lit up but Osamu was the one who spoke.

“We’ve never been Ice Skating before! Right ‘Tsumu?” He chirped, fingers still deep in Lady’s fur as he turned to his brother. Atsumu glanced at him before slowly shaking his head.

“No we haven’t… I… Are you sure? The principal was really upset yesterday, he’ll be even angrier for skipping…”

“Atsumu, you need a day off after yesterday. I’ll speak with the principal, just like yesterday, you won’t get in trouble for anything.” Shinsuke said firmly, watching the two finish off their plates.

“So you’ll be giving us away like yesterday too?” Atsumu muttered it under his breath and he seemed just as stricken as Shinsuke at the words that came out of his mouth.

Shinsuke had frozen beside Aran and he could see his fingers shaking, his mouth just barely pulling in air. Atsumu’s name came out like a whisper but still the child flinched, jumping when Osamu’s hand clamped onto his arm.

“Okay, c’mon boys. You’ll spend the day with me, dishes go in the sink. Let’s get dressed.” Aran cut in, standing up. “C’mon, there we go. Go get dressed.”

He waited for them to move, hesitant steps leading them to the kitchen, before he gently laid a hand on Shinsuke’s shoulder. Shinsuke jumped but leaned into it a second later, looking miserable. He tilted his head up, letting it rest on Aran’s leg as he blinked wide silver eyes at him.

“I…” Shinsuke started before shaking his head and moving to stand up.

“Shinsuke. No one ever said adoption was easy. Parent’s make mistakes, even with the best intentions. You did what you thought was right, it backfired. Atsumu’s just trying to show his pain and he doesn’t understand how to do it quite yet. You’re trying, you’re just fine.” Aran squeezed his shoulder, watching Shinsuke move like he was going in for a hug only to stop.

“Thank you, Aran… You should go get dressed. It’s a little too cold to go outside shirtless.” Shinsuke gave him half a smile before he was grabbing both of their plates and moving into the kitchen. Aran watched him for a moment, debating on trying to get him to talk more but the time for that had passed. He needed to focus on the boys now.

“C’mon Lady,” Aran called, “let’s go check on the boys.”

“Ooh, I haven’t seen those shoulders in ages.” Tooru’s voice made Shinsuke jump and he frowned over at the entrance to his shop. Tooru was peeking out, glancing at the two kids with Aran getting bundled up to go outside.

“I did try and knock and text you and it didn’t work so…” Tooru said, waiting until the boys had left before stepping fully inside the house. “Shigeru and Shinji were worried when the twin’s didn’t come out to walk to school but I see they’ve gone out with the other dad. Understandable.”

“Tooru.” Shinsuke said softly, feeling concerned eyes on him in seconds. What was it Aran had told him last night? 

‘You forget you need coping mechanisms too… Try talking with someone if one of us isn’t available. You have a lot of friends who would do anything for you.’

“I told you that today wasn’t a good day.” Shinsuke said, reaching out to grab Osamu but he and Atsumu were already too far ahead. Osamu looked back, hope in his gray eyes and he started to hesitate reaching back for Shinsuke’s hand.

“Yes, we know they got in trouble, they were always troublemakers. That’s okay, we know how to fix them.” Rika said, smiling almost serenely at the twins. Osamu went still, tears starting to build beneath his eyes before his brother’s grip on his arm jostled him into turning around again.

Internally, Shinsuke fumed. Neither of the boys were troublemakers! Even if they were, there was nothing to ‘fix’ about a child who acted out. They needed guidance, support, they weren’t broken.

“Hello again, Rika-san.” Atsumu’s voice was hollow, drained of any sort of cheerfulness.

“Atsumu, I told you to call me Rika-chan, don’t tell me you’ve forgotten already.” Rika chirped and Atsumu’s shoulders sagged with tiredness as he dipped his head.

“Sorry, Rika-chan… Good evening Saito-san.” Atsumu’s voice was nearly intelligible and Shinsuke stepped forward, unable to stay quiet any longer.

“That’s enough. I told you not to come, and what are you talking about again? From my records there was no Saito Rika or Saito Ken who ever watched over the boys.”

“My last name used to be Nakamura,” Rika said flippantly and Shinsuke felt his temper rise, “I was the first one to try and adopt the boys.”

“Try?” Shinsuke barely held back the urge to snap the word back at her.

“Well my husband didn’t want kids then, so we got rid of them. But he’s come around and said we could adopt one, but why wouldn’t I just want my old twins. Besides, they’re older now and not as annoying as they were.”

“They’re not… They’re not dogs. You don’t just toss them aside and pick them up from the pound later.”

Shinsuke wasn’t one to get upset. He was often likened to a robot despite the fact that he knew he was very much human. He rarely cried until he was beyond overwhelmed, and he didn’t understand how other people could scream and yell so much. He even struggled to smile, though the boys had it made easier to relax and just let the natural action curve on his lips.

Right now, though, he was more than a little overwhelmed. Osamu seemed ready to break down and Atsumu had closed off again. He looked like he was seconds from dissociating and Shinsuke was not going to let that happen. He opened his mouth to tell them off when Atsumu started speaking.

“It’s alright Kita-san,” He murmured and Shinsuke pretended that didn’t hurt, “we’ll be good.”

His fist was nearly white, wrapped around his brother’s hand. Osamu whimpered, only to slap a hand over his mouth with a fearful glance at Rika’s husband who still didn’t look at the two.

“The boys are always good for me, right Osamu?” Rika seemed far more interested in the boys than her husband. He’d already dragged out his phone and wasn’t bothering to look at his wife or the kids.

“Yes Rika-chan…” Osamu said hesitatingly but Rika didn’t seem to notice it as she turned to Atsumu.

“So I know you two had a bad day at school today. You always were breaking things, rules, vases, toys. What trouble did you cause this time Atsumu?”

“That’s enough. Leave now.” Shinsuke stepped around Osamu, moving to stand in front of them. “I won’t have you insulting either of these two, or treating them like mindless animals. They’re kids. Get off of my property now.”

“We are entitled to our interview-” Rika started, looking more than a little shocked at Shinsuke’s interruption.

“You failed the moment you refused to listen when I told you not to come. They’re allowed to have a rest, especially after a hard day. Instead you came anyways, and proceeded to talk down to them like there is something wrong with them. There is absolutely nothing wrong with either of them. Atsumu, take your brother into the house please.” Shinsuke passed him the key, holding it out for a worryingly long moment before he finally felt Atsumu’s hand wrap around it.

He waited, feeling the tug of Osamu’s hand momentarily on his shirt before he was pulled past. The moment the door was shut, he relaxed slightly, no longer worried about them being upset about seeing him angry.

“Not only have you failed your interview, but I will be reporting you to their social worker. You are obligated to inform me if you have ever had any contact with either of the boys, before the interview. You dismissed them, insulted them to their face. Told them they were broken and ruined any confidence that Atsumu had with that last comment that he caused the trouble. He didn’t! Because he’s a good kid, who cares about making everyone happy and giving his all no matter what it takes from him and I will not stand by and let you degrade that into him just breaking things.”

“Wha- You can’t be serious! The boys are just kids, they don’t even know half of what I just said. I’m calling Oomimi-san now, you won’t even have the boys by the end of the night.” Rika snapped, looking both bewildered and angry. Her husband, interestingly enough, had finally glanced up from his phone and seemed to only understand that something important happened.

“So we don’t have to get the brats?” He seemed mildly relieved, only to scowl as his wife rounded on him.

Shinsuke turned, blinking in surprise at Osamu’s face in the crack in the door before it was gone. He paused, wondering if he should say anything else before tossing it aside. Whatever he said now was meaningless. He had the boys to take care of.

He stepped into the house, closing the door and locking it before turning on the security alarm. He turned, exhaustion flooding through him as the adrenaline started to lower but he knew his night wasn’t over yet.

Astumu was just standing behind the couch, keys still clutched in his hand like he was waiting for an order to put it away. Osamu was gripping the arm of the couch, fingers twitching and Shinsuke gently nodded when he realized Osamu was wanting to hold his fox for comfort but was afraid of being yelled at.

“It’s okay, Osamu, you’re not in trouble.” Shinsuke murmured, keeping his steps slow and measured as he moved to Atsumu’s side.

He wrapped his fingers around the keys and knelt to the floor, looking up at Atsumu. He barely even stirred, eyes staring at something over Shinsuke’s shoulder. His eyes were vacant, no emotion in them, not even fear. Tears had stained his cheeks and slid over each other but no sobs came from his mouth.

“Atsumu, I’m taking the keys now.” Shinsuke said softly, catching them as Atsumu obediently dropped them. “I’m sorry you had to go through that, I didn’t know you already knew her-”

“May I go to my room… please, Kita-san?” The words were barely more than a whisper, and Atsumu looked like he didn’t have the energy to try again. He was ready to collapse on the floor, and Shinsuke didn’t know if being alone would help or make it worse.

“Can you look at me first?” Shinsuke asked, waiting as the eyes slid to meet his. They moved slow, sluggish, like Atsumu had to force himself to do it but if Atsumu was responding that was good. He didn’t look too far gone, and forcing him to relive the moment by trying to talk it over would only make Atsumu that much worse.

“I’ll bring dinner in a bit, okay? Please come let me know if you need anything else. You look very tired and scared, Atsumu. I know that was hard, I’m sorry I couldn’t help more. I’ll check in on you, but if you need anything, please come and get me, I won’t leave the house okay?”

Inch by inch, Atsumu’s head tilted into a nod as his eyes slid away again.

“Yes sir.”

“Thank you Atsumu, you were really brave… I’ll check on you soon.” Atsumu didn’t move, waiting until Shinsuke gently nudged him before he started walking towards his room.

Osamu was clutching the fox to his chest when Shinsuke turned to look at him, his own tears leaking onto the floor. Shinsuke waved him closer and Osamu nearly ran to him, only to freeze an arm length away. 

Osamu had always been more physical, wanting hugs and getting comfort from them. He craved physical closeness in the same way Atsumu craved approval, but now he was scared. Scared of Shinsuke.

“It’s alright, Osamu.” Shinsuke tried to soothe the frustration on Osamu’s face as his natural urge to be close battled with the fear that had been built in him. “You’re scared, you don’t have to hug me… I am sorry, I didn’t know you knew her and I told her not to come, or else I would have told you that you would meet someone today. I am sorry. It won’t happen again.”

“Can I go be with ‘Tsumu?” Osamu asked, voice stronger than his brothers but it was still choked as he sniffled. He gripped the toy closer and Shinsuke was grateful Akagi had thought to buy it as a comfort item.

“Yes, little one, go on. I’ll check on you in a few, and bring dinner.” Shinsuke slowly moved to his feet as Osamu walked away.

“I wish you didn’t hate us.” Osamu mumbled, probably not even aware he’d spoken aloud.

Still, a knife plunged through Shinsuke’s stomach and heart and it took everything he had not to fall to his knees and beg for forgiveness. He wanted nothing more than to sob, break down as so many emotions flooded him at once. He wanted to run, to hide, to lose himself in work, to lose himself completely in something blank. He was neutral by default, small bits of emotions dropping into him at any given time. He had no idea how to handle the thick swell pouring through him.

Anger, guilt, panic, pain, grief, adrenaline, worry, care, hurt. Everything poured into him and it was overflowing in his mind.

He wasn’t like the others, where they could take so much. He thought he would break, right there on his floor, his boys in the other room. His boys hurting.

Somehow, he moved to his feet, pawing at his own pants to pull up his phone and hit the speed dial for Oomimi.

“Shinsuke? Aren’t you supposed to be in the middle of the interview?” Oomimi didn’t bother with pleasantries, Shinsuke rarely called to catch up, he preferred the quicker method of text.

“Yeah… The boys had a rough day and I told her not to come but…” Shinsuke took in a shuddering breath, trying to focus on the present like Aran, Oomimi and Akagi had coached him through for years when he started to crack. He started to talk again, explaining what had happened, while he started to cook.

He focused on the pans under his hands, the heat of the rice cooker, the strong scent of fresh basil. The spoon was cool under his touch, and the back of his ankle collided with the stool the boys used. His elbow brushed over the fridge and cool air greeted his face.

He was okay. He was present. His boys were safe, they were just scared. Everything was okay.

“So after the boys went to their room I called you.” Shinsuke finished, stirring the stir-fry in the pan.

“Ah… I’ll drop by in about half an hour… I need to talk to them about the interview and I’ll make sure to note that she is to be removed from any potential adoptions until she’s reviewed again. I’ll write down what you told me and what the boys tell me and submit it tomorrow morning, okay?”

“Thank you, Ren.” Shinsuke murmured and Oomimi seemed to sigh on the other end of the line.

“Are you okay, Shinsuke?” Oomimi’s voice was soft, gentle. “That’s a lot to deal with on top of everything else.”

“Everything else? I’m fine Ren, honestly.” Shinsuke said, taking a deep breath and letting the overflow of emotions leak out. He probably needed a good cry, but honestly he didn’t have the time for that and he wouldn’t be the one to break in front of the boys. They needed to trust him to be strong and not crumble.

“Shinsuke, you went from being a successful business owner with a steadily climbing online business, to being a father to two traumitized boys, having your old crush return, trying to take care of them and help them heal, battling with that principal, trying to reintegrate Aran into your life, dealing with Saito-san, hearing Osamu say he thinks you hate them. That’s a lot, you’ve broken from much less. Remember our final year when you stepped down as captain? You were overwhelmed within days from losing your structure. When you first got the shop and found out that all the employees left with your aunt to her new one? You cracked and barely held it together until you got your routine going. You don’t do well when someone removes that without warning. This isn’t just someone removing your routine and your plan and your structure, this is blowing it up and stomping on the tiny pieces.” Oomimi sighed, louder and more clearly this time. He and Akagi had seen the worst of his cracking after all, though Aran had seen the first and knew of the other two.

It wasn’t often that Shinsuke cracked, in fact it was a rarity. He’d struggle, scramble for purchase and haul himself up after a week normally. Each of those times though, had been so overwhelming emotionally, physically, mentally.

Shinsuke had his routine, he had his Plan. He put the pieces together before the year even started, what he was going to do, what he was giving up or getting, what he would accomplish and what would be a bonus if it did happen. He set his routine, getting up at five am, showering for twelve minutes, turning on the rice and making tea by eighteen after. He checked his phone at twenty after before pulling out breakfast ingredients. Breakfast was done by six, he had eaten by twenty after and he was at work where it started all over again with a routine.

Little changes were okay, he could survive the itch that burrowed in his skin. He could ignore the urge to stare at the clock, feel time clicking away from him. He could only do that for so long. Without a new plan, a new routine set up, he would start to stumble.

It had only happened three times in total, but Shinsuke still felt guilty for each one. He prided himself on his self control, on his ability to support others, but when he broke he found them scrambling to care for him. Pressuring themselves to help him. The exact opposite of what he wanted.

“I know… Trust me I know, Ren… Why do you think I’ve been telling you and Michinari no? For the boys and about Aran… If I throw out my plan then I’ll just throw myself into a panic. I already made the decision not to start a family, not to focus on dating…”

“But you want too, now.” Oomimi finished for him. For a long minute it was silent, then Shinsuke could hear the sound of papers shuffling.

“I’ll be there in twenty, let the boys know okay?” Oomimi said, and the line dropped. Shinsuke didn’t move for a moment, letting himself relax before he lowered the phone to the counter and started to dish up three bowls.

He didn’t bother to pull out the cushions to eat at the table. Instead he grabbed two of the bowls and made his way to the boy’s bedroom.

He knocked gently at the door before stepping in. Almost instantly Osamu was leaping from Atsumu’s bed like he was waiting to be punished. Atsumu himself was curled up with his giant purple pokemon, hypnotically stroking it’s fur.

“It’s alright, Osamu, you can stay with your brother. I brought you dinner.” Shinsuke explained, moving to kneel next to the side table and carefully slide the bowls onto it. Osamu still hesitated, slow, careful steps bringing him back to his brother's bed.

Shinsuke moved nearly as slowly, until he could lower himself to the bottom half of Atsumu’s bed. He reached out, gently tapping Atsumu’s foot with a whisper of his name.

Atsumu turned, a little less dazed, but tears were still fresh on his cheeks. He blinked at Shinsuke, tugging his feet under his body. Shinsuke didn’t bother to be hurt by it, Atsumu couldn’t help it and he definitely wasn’t doing it to be cruel.

“I brought dinner, Atsumu.” Shinsuke said softly, watching the eyes slide off his face towards the wall behind him. “I also wanted to let you know Oomimi was coming in a few… No, you’re not in trouble.”

Shinsuke could see the fear rising up, in Osamu’s face, in the way Atsumu was clenching Kitty.

“I swear to you, you’re not in trouble. You’re not being taken away either. He just needs to check on you and make sure you’re okay after today, that’s all.” Shinsuke soothed, reaching out to Osamu and waiting for Osamu’s hesitant hand on his. He drew him closer, slipping off the bed to let Osamu have the spot and guiding him down.

“Nothing will happen that you don’t want to happen. It’s all going to be okay.” Shinsuke said, gently squeezing Osamu’s hand. For a second, a light of hope seemed to glow in his eyes and the smallest smile appeared, before he was pulling his hand away and turning to his brother, crawling over to lay with him.

Shinsuke wanted to say something, reach out to them. He had nothing to say, though. Instead he turned and walked away. Any more words would only seem empty and fruitless.

Shinsuke barely managed to eat, and clean the bowls by the time Oomimi arrived. He didn’t bother with pleasantries now either. This wasn’t a friendly call, he was on duty and he wouldn’t pretend otherwise.

He had more than one paper carefully stacked under one arm, none of them labeled and Shinsuke wasn’t sure he wanted to know what they were for.

“Shinsuke?” Oomimi’s voice made him jump from where he was bent over his kitchen island, a pencil scratching out a new design.

“Yes?” He looked over immediately, panic churning in his gut at the regretful look on his friend’s face. Oomimi moved slowly, making his way to the other part of the island before he spoke.

“The boys confirmed what you said… obviously. Saito Rika will be removed from the list of potential adoptees and will be reviewed much more thoroughly before she is added back.” Oomimi said, then lowered the forms onto the table blank side up so Shinsuke couldn’t read them. Always professional.

“Shinsuke… The boys said…” Oomimi hesitated, tongue flicking out to wet his lips before he pushed on. “Shinsuke, the boys asked not to be adopted by you.”

A thousand pounds dropped through Shinsuke’s stomach. The pencil shattered in his grip but he couldn’t find it in himself to care about the pain shooting through his palm. They didn’t want him.

A disgusting mixture of horror, grief, and relief mixed through him. He hated it, despised it. The idea that he could finally return to his routine was relieving, the idea that he would no longer be in charge of their emotional welfare was relieving. Shinsuke wanted to throw up.

He didn’t want the boys gone, he’d never want that but even he couldn’t deny a mental toll had been taken. He didn’t care, he could get over that, he could adapt. It wasn’t life threatening, it was just a momentary adjustment period, that he was already going through. Adopting them wouldn’t make him worse and he was horrified that some part, even so small and ignored a part just trying to keep him moving forward, was willing to drop the boys like that.

None of that mattered though.

They didn’t want him.

“Shinsuke. I asked them if they were willing to stay the rest of the month with you… Osamu managed to convince his brother to say yes. Regardless, the decision remains with me.” Oomimi said, tone clipped. He didn’t want to be the bearer of bad news but this was his job. He had to make the call to remove the boys or not, even if Osamu had managed to get Atsumu to say he wanted to stay.

“I have to report it… but I’m not taking them, Shinsuke.” Oomimi reached out to squeeze his wrist, the first break in his professional demeanor. “They are scared because of Saito-san, it isn’t a reflection on you especially as you didn’t know she would be here. They’ve been a lot better under your care. I’ll ask again at the end of the month, but if they say no… you understand that I can’t force them to be adopted by you, right? By any of us. They get to say no.”

“I know.” Shinsuke wished his voice didn’t sound so raw. He wasn’t crying, not yet, but he could feel it building. He pushed it down, pushed it away, desperate not to break where the boys could walk out and see. He wouldn’t do that to them, no matter what.

“Do you want me to stay-”

“No, thank you Ren. I have to sign off on what happened right? I’ll do that now.” Shinsuke cut him off, he didn’t want comfort. He wanted to know what was happening next, wanted to know what to do. Ren wouldn’t, couldn’t, guide him or give him a hint to anything. 

Oomimi watched him, before grabbing the paperwork and offering a few pages. Neither of them mentioned the pencil embedded in Shinsuke’s hand.

“Please, call me if you need anything. I don’t want you to cry alone, I’m still your friend.” Oomimi said when he grabbed the papers back. He looked like he was debating on crying himself but Shinsuke couldn’t put him in that position.

Oomimi had to do everything without bias, reports, write-ups, removals, adoptions. He couldn’t promise Shinsuke that the boys would stay with him forever, he couldn’t say that Osamu had fought his brother tooth and nail trying to beg to stay just till the end of the month. He couldn’t say that Atsumu had broken down sobbing silently, arms clutching the stuffed pokemon Shinsuke had gotten for him, while he said he’d leave. He couldn’t say Atsumu hadn’t asked to leave Shinsuke, he’d asked Oomimi to help him make Shinsuke happy by taking them away.

Oomimi couldn’t provide any comfort. Shinsuke knew that, knew he’d never know what happened in that room. He couldn’t make Oomimi try and comfort him after that.

“You’re like my brother, Oomimi. Please drive safe.” Shinsuke said softly, not even trying for a smile as the door slid shut behind the tall social worker. He stumbled, holding onto the table to try and hold back the waves of agony.

He wanted nothing more than to move to the boys’ room and hold them and ask them to stay with him. He couldn’t do that. He’d scare them, upset them, worry them. Atsumu would immediately push for his original decision to leave and Osamu would be too scared to do anything but follow his brother.

They made the decision. Shinsuke wouldn’t force his presence on them, he would just do everything he could to make the next two weeks the happiest he could and ensure they were going to a safe home after.

He stopped by their room unable to fully stop himself, glancing over the two curled up on Atsumu’s bed. They were fast asleep, wrapped around each other like two kittens. 

He stepped in, grabbing the blanket and carefully tossing it over them. They barely even twitched and Shinsuke doubted they would wake up at all until morning after the emotional toil of the day.

Shinsuke scooped up the bowls, both of them mildly nibbled on, and returned to the kitchen.

He tried to ignore the ache in his chest as he started boxing up the food for tomorrow. If anything, he would eat it and make them something fresh.

He couldn’t stand the silence. It was deafening, only the pounding of his ears audible after a week of nothing but laughter and the sounds of video games. He needed to hear someone, anyone.

No.

Not anyone.

He didn’t think twice as he grabbed his phone and punched in the number with muscle memory alone. Part of him rebelled against it, insisting he didn’t need help, but the rest of him was begging for his best friend. He wandered into the living room, unable to focus on any one thing, desperate for noise.

“Y’llo?” Aran’s voice was like a wave of relief after nothing but pain since they’d left the Matsukawa’s.

“Hey.” Shinsuke didn’t know what to say. What even could he say? That he was about to cry and needed a hug? That he was about to adopt the boys and then he fucked up everything and they didn’t want him? That just hearing that single word, made him feel like he’d be able to survive because they’d always made it through everything together?

Shinsuke had his pride for being the carer. He didn’t think he could let it drop quite so fast.

“Shin? Are you okay?” How many years had it been since Aran last called him that? Four? Five? It brought back memories of highschool, laughter and sweat, leaning on each other in the summer heat and tossing snowballs wildly in winter. Memories of the six years after that, when Aran was still in Japan. Tea shops and festivals, dancing and baseball, pick up games as the sun died, and alcohol as the sun rose.

All that. Shinsuke never even thought to give Aran a chance in his life. He’d taken his best friend for granted, didn’t reach out to him during the three years he was gone out of the country. Didn’t think they could ever fall apart, didn’t think he’d ever lose that constant murmur of his name and gentle hands ready to catch or hold him. He never thought of a partner, never planned for one, because he never thought he’d lose the one he’d had without realizing.

“I… I needed to hear your voice… It’s too quiet right now.” Shinsuke felt pathetic, but he couldn’t even bring himself to acknowledge that, listening to the deep rumble of Aran’s voice.

“Shin? Is everything okay? Talk to me.”

Shinsuke didn’t even realize until he was already spilling everything. Tears poured down his face, silent but the choked tone and Shinsuke’s own heavy breathing. Aran seemed to know regardless, as he tried to soothe him.

“Shinsuke, they’re scared. They didn’t know this was happening, they probably think you were trying to get rid of them. You can’t change the past, but you can still change the future.” Aran’s voice was as smooth and deep as Shinsuke remembered. He couldn’t help but feel ridiculous, thinking that. He’d heard Aran’s voice not even six hours ago. But it felt like eons. 

Like he’d been drowning at sea and someone finally came to save him.

“Yeah… I know.”

“Shinsuke, we can figure this out, okay? Move things around a bit, make it easier on ya. I can take the boys out after school a few times over the next few weeks, or early in the morning on the weekend, you can relax and they can play with Lady. We can talk with the boys on friday or next friday, ask them what they really want. If they want to leave then that’s their decision… but if they want to stay, then we can plan accordingly. We can get you used to a new routine, I’m here, Akagi’s here, Ooomimi. We’re all here to help… Let us help.”

“I missed you.” Shinsuke confessed, the words bubbling out before he even realized. Desperate for him to know, for someone to understand what he felt instead of these wild miscommunications he’d managed to hurt his boys with. “When we weren’t talking… I missed you constantly, I didn’t just… forget about you. I thought about you… a lot…  I just… My business is my main focus, has been since I graduated.”

“I know.” Aran’s voice was soft, like he was soothing Shinsuke from a nightmare rather than his own regretted decisions. “Shin, I know. I was there when you made the plan, with the others. If I had a problem with it, I would have said something then. I was already leaving the country… why would I have insisted otherwise.”

Shinsuke didn’t know why he was having this conversation. Didn’t know why he needed to. He wasn’t going to date Aran, he couldn’t. He was already cracking trying to figure out if he got to keep the boys, how to help them, how to keep his business steady, how to continue the way it was expanding rapidly. He couldn’t be responsible for the emotional wellbeing of Aran too. Responsibilities came with relationships and right now Shinsuke couldn’t do it.

“Shin. I’m here, now.” Aran said, his voice getting more firm at the quickening of Shinsuke’s breath. “Let’s focus on that. I’m still your best friend and you’re still mine. That’s all that matters.”

“... Sorry.”

“What’re ya apologizing for? Even the great saint Kita Shinsuke needs help every once in a while… Let me come over, we can watch stupid dramas and you can cry into a pillow and we’ll pretend it’s from laughter until you feel up to talking it over.”

“I think most people offer shoulders, not pillows… and the boys are sleeping, I don’t want to surprise them with you suddenly.”

“Shinsuke.” The force behind it made Shinsuke shudder. “I love the boys. But right now you need something too. What do you need? What can I give you?”

“I…” The words choked in his throat, but he felt like he could breathe again. “I think getting some attention from Lady could help me a lot.”

“One standard white poodle coming up… with boba tea of course. Maybe even a shoulder if ya don’t like the pillows.”

Shinsuke coughed out a laugh, letting the couch take his weight as he fell into the seat.

The two hadn’t been the only ones hiding around the corner and Shinsuke had to hold Hitoshi up  as another child rocketed forward and into him.

“Are you okay? You’re never allowed to go on any other group ever again!” The child cried, hugging Hitoshi as tightly as he could as Hitoshi hugged back.

“I’m okay Rin-kun. Shinji-kun protected me and Atsumu-kun.” Hitoshi chattered, almost uncaring of the way Rin-kun was attempting to latch onto him forever. Rin-kun looked over Hitoshi’s shoulder at the two other boys.

“Thanks…” He mumbled, turning back to Hitoshi to look over his cheek.

“Rin-kun,” Shinji called softly, “we’re going to go to the bakery, do you want to come with us?”

Rintaro blinked at them, eyeing Tooru almost suspiciously before nodding.

“I hafta tell Aran-kun we won’t be at practice though…” Rin said, making Osamu jump from where he’d latched onto his brother’s shirt and Shinsuke’s hand.

“You know Aran-kun?” He chirped, making Rintaro blink and slowly nod. “The one with the pretty puppy Lady?”

“Yes, me and Hitoshi-kun play volleyball with him sometimes… How do you know him?”

“He’s Shinsuke-san’s husband.” Osamu said cheerfully, swinging Shinsuke’s arm. Instantly Shinsuke’s face turned red, embarrassment flooding over him quickly followed by annoyance as Tooru turned to give him a quirked eyebrow. The other man opened his mouth to tease him before Atsumu spoke.

“No, stupid! He’s Shinsuke-san’s boyfriend, they’re not married yet… Right Shinsuke-san?” Atsumu blinked up at Shinsuke, a hint of almost panic in his eyes. After thinking about it, it was clear to Atsumu that Shinsuke and Aran were dating. Why else would Shinsuke act differently with him? That didn’t mean Atsumu liked Aran yet, not at all. They could still get married and decide they didn’t want Osamu or him.

Shinsuke wasn’t sure if he wanted to face palm or just leave and go lay down for a bit. Tooru had turned away but his shoulders were absolutely shaking with laughter. If either of his two kids repeated that within ten miles of Michinari then Shinsuke was absolutely doomed.

“No… Osamu, Atsumu, Aran-san is not my husband or my boyfriend.” Shinsuke said, blinking in surprise when the twin’s heads turned towards him and tilted in confusion.

“He’s… not?” Osamu sounded confused, looking at his brother as if he would have the answers. “Then… You’re not going to marry Oji-san right? I like Oji-san! But… I like how happy you are when Aran-kun comes over.”

“I don’t.” Atsumu grumbled, nearly intelligible.

This was punishment from the gods, Shinsuke was convinced. They had finally decided to get his revenge after he spent twenty-eight years not caring about them. Or this was punishment for not visiting his granny enough.

His heart seemed to beat heavier as embarrassment washed over him again as Tooru had to smother his laughter. Shinsuke shot him a venomous glare but it did nothing against the man who just grinned at him.

“No, I am not in a relationship with Aran-san. Nor am I going to marry Michinari.” Shinsuke sighed, reaching up to ruffle both of their heads. “Don’t go getting ideas of marrying me off just to get spoiled.”

He still couldn’t suppress the smile forcing his way onto his lips no matter how hard he tried. Between the twin’s being absolutely thrown off by the knowledge that Shinsuke was indeed single and realizing that Osamu atleast would be more than happy to have Aran as a dad, Shinsuke had no way to stop the affection bubbling in his chest.

He’d have to get to the bottom of Atsumu’s issue with Aran. Until then it still made him happier than he wanted to admit to think about raising the boys with Aran. That secret, however, would stay a secret a while longer.

“C’mon boys, before you try and make me marry Tooru, school’s already over. Let’s go get your bags and head over to the bakery okay? Rin-kun, I’ll let Aran-san know that you won’t be coming today, don’t worry about it.” Shinsuke said, quickly distracting them and rushing them along. He ignored Tooru’s pointed looks, keeping his eyes down on his kids so he wouldn’t cause Tooru to have another laughing fit.

“Welcome to Castle Bakery, I see you’ve managed to kidnap my kids and my secret husband. Are you coming to exchange them for pastries or just return them for being stinkers?” Takahiro called from behind the counter, leaning across it as they walked through the front door. The bakery wasn’t packed, most parents were at work and kids were at clubs.

Shinsuke gently moved Osamu’s hand from his wrist, letting him take hold of Shigeru instead as the smaller child dragged them in. Atsumu twisted and grabbed Shinji who was dragged off before he had a chance to grab Hitoshi and Ren. The two seemed a little overwhelmed so Shinsuke moved with them, letting Tooru move around them to greet his spouse? Boyfriend?

Shinsuke still wasn’t sure what they referred to themselves as Hajime always called them boyfriends and Tooru changed it every time he spoke. As long as they were happy, Shinsuke didn’t really see a point in asking for clarification.

Hitoshi and Rintaro both seemed amazed at the shop. Shinsuke glanced around too, wondering when the last time he’d actually been in there was.

The walls were painted a pretty cream white, a turquoise trim wherever the wall connected to something else. Even the counter was a vibrant blue against the tile floor. Along each wall were small round golden tables with cushioned chairs on either side.

A comfortable corner was tucked away with a ‘Little Free Library’ that was packed full of books. On the bottom shelf small toys spilled out that a toddler was happily playing with while her mother sat beside her on a couch, a small cupcake on the coffee table in front of her. 

It was comfortable despite the blaring white, probably helped by the long display rack that cut off the main room from the kitchen that was filled to the brim with goods in anticipation for elementary kids on their way home and workers looking for a snack. The gold paint seemed to glow and Shinsuke followed the two support beams up to the main sign. The long vines decorating it were new, though they looked nice against the black of the sign, a small crown carved out of one corner.

“We’re definitely trading Papa in,” Shinji was saying, ignoring Tooru’s betrayed gasp, “is Tatay here? I want to show him my new friends!”

“Okay so I’m not your favorite? Is that what you’re trying to tell me Shinji?” Tooru tried to chide his eldest but like usual Shinji didn’t seem even mildly phased as he shrugged.

“Tatay says he’s the cool one and you’re the weird one.”

“He’s the… I went to the Olympics!” Tooru tried to bluster through his words, hands on his chest.

“Yeah but Tatay and Pita can cook dinner.” Shinji smiled, turning and dragging Atsumu and Osamu back behind the counter as Shigeru let go of the twins.

“Don’t worry Papa, you’re my second favorite.” Shigeru smiled before he was pulling Rintaro along with him, Hitoshi staring almost reverently at Tooru. “Hitoshi-kun! Didn’t you hear Shinji? Papa’s the weird one, you can meet Tatay and Otou-san, come on.”

Hitoshi seemed to hesitate, glancing up at Tooru again before taking off after his friends.

“I’m not even going to ask Akira, he just likes whoever fed him last.” Tooru grumbled dejectedly. Takahiro laughed, leaning further over the counter to tug Tooru closer until he could kiss his cheek.

“Stop that, you’re my favorite.” Takahiro said, smiling at him. The grin only got wider as Tooru wrinkled his nose.

“Last time you said that you made me eat spicy cake.”

“Yeah! That’s why you’re my favorite.” Takahiro chirped happily, leaning in to try and rub his nose with Tooru. Tooru stepped back, sticking out his tongue.

“I’m getting in on Aran and Shinsuke’s wedding, it’s too late, I’m sorry Takahiro.” Tooru spun, and Shinsuke barely avoided getting hugged. Unfortunately, Takahiro latched onto exactly what Tooru wanted him too.

“Ooh~ Aran-kun and Shinsuke-kun are finally getting married?” Takahiro gasped, holding a hand over his mouth.

“Finally? You don’t even know who he is.” Shinsuke said, giving him a flat look. Like Shinji, nothing seemed to faze him and he just smiled.

“Who said that? I have his old teammate as my favorite partner of the week-”

“It’s on a weekly basis?”

“And he tells me about everything~ Not even mentioning that Hajime is Aran-kun’s personal trainer and apparently he has a thing for a pretty young thing with two foster boys.” Takahiro crooned, laughing again when Tooru’s teasing smirk turned into a frown again.

“I get it, I get it I’m old. It’s only a four year difference…”

They both ignored Tooru’s grumbling.

Shinsuke was honestly almost done with the way his cheeks flared red at even the mention of Aran’s name. Yes, he’d had this crush since he was sixteen, but that didn’t make it any less annoying. Arans’ name definitely should not be reminding him of how Aran looked helping the boys the first time they met or how willing Aran was to work with Atsumu and forgive him when he’d acted out (as non-dangerous as potatoes were it was still rude).

He was 100% done with other’s teasing him about Aran’s supposed crush on him. Even if it were true, and Shinsuke wouldn’t say it was impossible, it didn’t matter because Shinsuke had already chosen not to follow that path.

“Hajime-san can say what he wants, I’m not marrying Aran-san-” Shinsuke sighed as his phone went off. “I have to take this.”

“Have to, he says.” Tooru and Takahiro said together with a laugh, both of them leaning against the counter to watch him step away. Shinsuke didn’t know why he never caught on to their relationship, the two devils were perfect for each other.

“Hi Kita-san!” The overly chipper voice made him wince. “It’s Sato Ai, me and my husband are on our way to meet the twins.”

Shinsuke almost let out a stream of curses, chest aching as he remembered what was planned for this afternoon. He had completely forgotten the interview after school with the potential foster parents.

“Thank you for calling me, the boys had a rather rough day at school so I think it would be best to re-schedule-”

“Nonsense, it’ll be fine,” Sato-san said, “we’ll be there in about an hour.” 

The line went dead even as Shinsuke started to argue. He stared at the blank screen, worry and apprehension flooding through him. Any good adoptive parent would have known better than to force the first meeting if they were warned their prospective adoptees weren’t okay. If the boys had to deal with the stress of meeting someone new after this first day, it could completely set back everything Shinsuke had been doing for the past week.

He dialed the number back but it just rang through to the voicemail. Twice more he tried but he didn’t get an answer. He finally sent a text, asking them to call him about when they would reschedule for.

“Who was that?” Hiro chirped, straightening up as the door opened.

“Some people who wanted to meet with the boys to see about adopting them.” Shinsuke said, still frowning at his phone. He would have to turn them away at the door if they refused to listen and tell Oomimi to check on any others of their prospects. If they couldn’t even bother to answer the phone when he requested them not to come, he didn’t particularly trust them to listen to the boys.

He looked up when he realized Takahiro had been quite for some time. Takahiro was watching him, the slightest curl to his top lip before he shrugged and looked away.

“He’s your boss.” Was all he said, aiming it at Tooru, “I have customer’s, go play with the kids. I’ll see you later.”

Tooru was watching Shinsuke critically but he nodded to his partner’s words, reaching over the counter to squeeze his hand before moving out of the way. He hustled Shinsuke behind the counter and through the kitchen.

Four year old Akira was nibbling on a bowl of grapes on a table, Issei rolling out dough for a pie. He looked up as they came in, nodding his head at them.

“Hey pretty boy, the kids went upstairs. Make sure Shinji doesn’t break into the maple syrup?” Issei asked, leaning over as they passed to kiss Tooru’s cheek. Shinsuke almost felt his cheeks burn, not overly surprised by how openly affectionate they were but still unused to it. It wasn’t common for people to be so open with such romantic gestures after all.

“That kid has the weirdest tastes, he gets it from your side of the family, Mr. I put peanut butter on potatoes.” Tooru teased lightly, lifting his hand to squeeze his shoulder. Issei’s eyes seemed to darken for a second before they relaxed and he gave a soft smile to his partner.

“Yeah he does, my sister would have been proud to know he’s carrying on her food science.” Issei said softly, tilting his head towards the stairs in the back. “Hurry up, he might have taken Atsumu’s proposal seriously and I don’t want him trying to make a wedding cake just yet.”

Tooru laughed, moving forward and waving Shinsuke to the stairs before he stopped to speak to Akira. Akira didn’t particularly look excited but Shinsuke could see the way his eyes brightened at his father’s attention and willingly reached out for him to get picked up.

“I’m stealing the kitten, before he starts napping on the table.” Tooru called, grabbing grapes before Akira could ask and following Shinsuke up the stairs.

They didn’t have to go far to find Atsumu and Hitoshi atleast.

They were at the base of the stairs, eyes wide as a long furred brilliantly white cat walked back and forth to them. She rubbed her face against both of them, preening under the gentle touches of her new fans.

“Princess! Stop harassing children, atleast let them into the house.” Tooru called and the cat mewled pathetically, falling into Atsumu’s chest and purring loud enough for Shinsuke to hear her.

Atsumu turned his eyes to Shinsuke where they sparkled and glowed with excitement.

“Cat.” He mouthed, fingers gently brushing over her back with a gasp. Shinsuke hummed, nodding his head as he reached down to stroke his hair, the smallest smile growing on Atsumu’s face.

Instantly regret pooled in Shinsuke’s stomach. These were his boys but he… was going to send them away. He already had people wanting to meet them. Good people who would be able to be home all day and give them a structured life.

Shinsuke wanted to be selfish, he wanted all of it. He wanted to raise the boys and date Aran. He wanted to watch them grow and learn and support them through all of it. He wanted to steal Lady from Aran and spend the hours after work resting with her while Aran and Osamu cooked and Atsumu played eight video games in an hour. He wanted to teach them volleyball, see them give everything their all like he knew they would.

But he couldn’t. Knowing they would be neglected by his own workaholic tendencies. Knowing that he chose his future years ago, he had a plan and the boys didn’t deserve to deal with him while he strained trying to fix that plan. If he threw that plan out then what did he have? No structure, no routine, no-

“Shinsuke-san! Their TV is bigger than me!” Osamu yelled down the hall and Shinsuke looked up instantly, pushing down any panic that was building in his chest. He would be fine. He had a plan. He had his routine. Nothing would change that.

“Is it? Now I have to see that.” Shinsuke called, watching Osamu giggle and disappear into the living room. Tooru raised an eyebrow at him but didn’t say anything even as Shinsuke turned to look at him. The other man just shrugged, carefully stepping over the two and walking away with his son in his arms.

Princess mewed after her owner, jumping off of Atsumu’s lap and taking off after him.

“You’re fat.” Akira said to the cat as they rounded a corner and disappeared into the apartment.

“C’mon Atsumu, let's go see this giant TV… You too Hitoshi.” Shinsuke said, offering his hands to both of them and tugging them up onto their feet. Surprisingly, neither of them let go, letting him lead them into the living room.

Rintaro had taken a spot on Shigeru’s back in front of the TV. Shigeru didn’t seem to mind, occasionally twisting to be fed a chip from the bowl beside them. Shinji was on the couch and quickly pat it to try and encourage the two to join him. He paused and looked at Shinsuke before moving the couch pillow and scooting closer to the arm before patting it again.

Hitoshi let go almost immediately, scrambling up onto the couch and leaning forward to paw at Rintaro’s head until he was handed a chip. He happily chomped away at it, watching Shinji change the channel.

Atsumu stuck close to Shinsuke, keeping his hand wrapped around Shinsuke’s. Not even a few seconds later, Shinsuke was being dragged into the room by Osamu and manhandled onto the couch. Atsumu and Osamu seemed to be thinking along the same lines because they both immediately crawled onto the couch and took a spot on either leg.

“Don’t get too comfortable Shinji ,you either Shigeru, you’re still getting talked to when the Bakery closes.” Tooru said, sticking his head into the room. “I know you two got in trouble for fighting at lunch.”

“Technically, it was just Shigeru, I was trying to stop it.” Shinji mumbled, trying to hide behind Shinsuke’s bulk when Tooru fixed his gaze on him.

“So you didn’t drag both of them physically on the ground?” Tooru raised an eyebrow.

“.... I was trying to stop it?” Shinji said again.

“... I was not like this when I was a kid, I was a good kid, I didn’t punch people, why are you like this?” Tooru sighed, clearly aware of how Shinji was trying not to laugh and Shigeru was openly giggling. “Don’t laugh, you’re both in trouble. Shigeru why were you fighting Rintaro anyways?”

“ ‘Cuz he’s my best friend!” Shigeru chirped happily from under Rintaro. 

“Wha- I thought your best friend was Kentarou-kun from Taekwondo.”

“Yeah… from Taekwondo. You get extra husbands why can’t I have extra best friends.”

“... I don’t have an answer to that… Just don’t do it again on school grounds okay? If you want to fight more we can pay for a few hours for private lessons for both of you. It’s dangerous at school, you don’t know what’s in the grass or if someone else could accidentally get hurt okay?” Toory finally said, looking at Shigeru until he nodded. The smile had shrank but he was clearly listening, looking up to nod at Rintaro who nodded rapidly back at him and then Tooru.

“And you, my defensive little monster,” Tooru said moving over to rub his hand over Shinji’s shaved head, “need to stop letting yourself get drawn into fights. But I’m glad you protected your friend.”

Shinji’s cheeks were dark with a blush but he grinned brightly up at his father.

“Thank you Papa, now go away, you’re embarrassing me.” Shinji stuck out his tongue, giggling when Tooru dropped a kiss onto his head and ruffled it again before leaving.

“I can be extra embarrassing, just wait till highschool, I was the most embarrassing person ever and I refuse to lose that to you two.” Tooru teased back as he left, tossing an amused smile at Shinsuke.

Atsumu and Osamu were staring after Tooru almost reverently before their eyes moved almost hesitatingly to Shinsuke. He wasn’t quite sure what they wanted but he wrapped his arms around them, pointing at the TV and murmuring for them to watch it.

By the time evening started, Hajime had arrived home and he and Issei quickly swept up the nearly asleep Hitoshi and Rintaro and took them home. Shinsuke had barely managed to get out of a family dinner, half worried that Takahiro and Issei would steal his kids if he didn’t get them out of the room quick enough. It wouldn’t even be a fight, both boys were dead set on eating Takahiro’s macarons no matter what they had to do for it.

“Say goodbye.” Shinsuke murmured to his twins, one hand in each of his. They cheered loud enough to wake the block before letting their foster father lead them out of the apartment.

The doors to his shop were closed and locked already, the alarm set and blinking from inside. Shinsuke didn’t particularly feel like turning it off so he brought them around the corner instead, heading for the second entrance.

Atsumu was more excited about the cat than he was anything else, cheerfully chirping about how pretty she had been and all of her pictures around the house. Osamu was hoarding his handful of blueberries he’d been given by Issei on the way out, and didn’t seem particularly inclined to speak. He wasn’t upset, simply didn’t seem to think there was anything to say.

Shinsuke was watching the ground, guiding them around the tree root that had broken the pavement when he felt Atsumu freeze. He looked over, confusion taking over at the panic and then dread on Atsumu’s face. Atsumu’s head slowly turned to him, betrayal clear in amber eyes.

Shinsuke could almost see them closing off as he turned his head to look forward again and Shinsuke followed his gaze.

“Ah! There you are Kita-san, we thought you’d forgotten about us.” Sato Ai was standing in front of his house, her husband a few steps behind her. “Don’t worry we haven’t been here long. It’s good to see you boys again, Atsumu, Osamu.”

Shinsuke tightened his hold on the boys’ hands. They hadn’t mentioned knowing the twins at all, but clearly they knew them. There was a soft tapping noise as Osamu dropped the blueberries in his hand, his other going limp in Shinsuke’s.

“S-Shinsuke-san?” Osamu started to ask but Atsumu pulled his hand from Shinsuke and reached out for his brother.

“You know what this is, ‘Samu… Come on… We’re ready Shinsuke-san, we know how to act.” Atsumu said, his voice completely flat as he looked the potential adoptees dead on.

Shinsuke didn’t want to move. He didn’t want to breathe, he wanted to redo everything. Go through the store so he could send these two away without a fuss.

Shinsuke was a little stunned to get dropped off at the shop and come face to face with a rather annoyed looking Oikawa. He was nearly as bundled up as Shinsuke as he moved to quickly greet him before grabbing his elbow and dragging him down the street.

“Am I in trouble again?” Shinsuke asked after a moment, glancing back to see a rather concerned looking Akagi staring after them like an abandoned puppy.

“Not you…” Tooru grumbled, breathing in once and holding it before letting it out again. “Just keep walking… Shinji and Atsumu were fighting.”

Shinsuke nearly froze but the part of his mind not covered with shock kept him moving. Atsumu? Atsumu always went out of his way to avoid fighting, he was always worried about getting into trouble. Not to mention Shinji.

Shinsuke thought Atsumu really liked Shinji, he was the quietest and the least likely to hurt anyone's feelings. Ignoring the whole, marrying him for treats part, Shinsuke couldn’t think of a single reason they would have been fighting.

“Did one of them get hurt?” He asked, heart jumping into his throat at the idea of another bruise on Atsumu. Another wound he’d try to hide and cry over at night.

“They said no one was hurt, just scared…” Tooru’s face was pinched before he glanced over at Shinsuke. “Sorry, they called about thirty minutes ago but I didn’t want to interrupt your first proper day off… I’m pretty sure it was Shinji’s fault, he takes after his mother and she was always quiet before throwing a few punches. The Principal didn’t really bother to tell me what exactly happened.”

“What were they fighting about? I can’t really believe Shinji would actually hit Atsumu, Michinari said they were getting along great when Atsumu went over to the bakery…” Shinsuke said carefully, not wanting to spook Tooru who looked stressed enough. Tooru blinked, glancing over at him with confusion.

“What- Oh no, no, sorry they weren’t fighting with each other, they got in a fight together.” Tooru said and a mix of relief and panic shot through Shinsuke. He wasn’t sure how he would have handled the knowledge that Atsumu had willingly fought the only member of the Matsukawa family who didn’t actively look for a fight.

Then panic settled in.

“Is Osamu okay?” Shinsuke asked, the only reason Atsumu could ever risk getting into trouble was to protect his brother. Actually, even then that was pushing it, Atsumu would take a thousand hits before he willingly acted out and risked getting himself or Osamu in trouble.

“Yeah, uh, he’s pretty upset though. Started yelling when the teacher dragged Atsumu and Shinji out of the room, he’s with Shigeru and a few of his friends. Or so the principal told me.” Tooru said, squeezing Shinsuke’s elbow gently with an understanding look on his face. “Let’s just get there and find out what’s going on okay? No need to worry yet.”

Shinsuke wished he could share that same optimism but his gut was churning with worry.

As soon as he saw Atsumu his stomach seemed to turn into lead. Instead of the semi-nervous but willing boy he’d dropped off that morning, the child in front of him looked like stone.

His back was curled, his backpack tightly clutched against his stomach. Atsumu’s eyes didn’t even twitch when Shinsuke called out his name softly. They just stayed pointed at the ground, even as Shinsuke moved to his side.

Shinji, sitting beside Atsumu, jumped up at the sight of Tooru.

“Papa!” He chirped in surprise, before looking at the principal with a slightly chastised expression. Tooru glanced at Shinsuke before moving towards his own kid and drawing him away from Atsumu a few steps.

“What happened?” Tooru asked, barely sparing the principal a glance when he started to talk. “I’m asking Shinji, I want to hear his side.”

Shinsuke tuned them out for a moment, not particularly caring about the principal’s insistence on talking to them first. Instead he crouched beside Atsumu, gently reaching out to touch his knee.

“Atsumu? Can you hear me?” He asked, hesitating an inch from his leg. “I’m going to touch you now. It’s just me, Atsumu, it’s just Shinsuke.”

Atsumu still flinched at the gentle touch, eyes squeezing shut and his breath loud with a gasp. After a second he relaxed again, eyes still tightly shut.

“Atsumu, is this okay?” Shinsuke lowered his voice, glancing once at Tooru’s agitated voice until he lowered it. “Can I touch you?”

He didn’t ask again, waiting patiently. Sharp gasps broke from Atsumu’s throat and he struggled to push them down again, curling against the backpack like it was a life line.

“Atsumu, can you shake your head or nod if it’s okay?” Shinsuke murmured, making sure to keep his voice loud enough for him to hear but not enough to startle him. Slowly he pulled his hand back, prepared to talk until Atsumu focused again, when Atsumu’s head jerked down.

Amber eyes flashed for a second, unfocused and filled with tears before they were hidden away again. Shinsuke lowered his hand back down, watching the second jerky nod.

“Thank you… Do you want a hug? Just shake or nod, don’t worry about speaking.” Shinsuke soothed softly as the grip on the backpack tightened and then released. It was slow coming but another nod broke through the whirlwind Atsumu’s mind was trapped in.

“Can I move the backpack? I won’t take it away, just put it by your feet. You can hold onto me, I want you to. You’re not in trouble, Atsumu.” Shinsuke spoke as slowly as he could and still be understood, in short sentences so Atsumu wouldn’t have to try and scramble to process each one.

The fingers curled into the bag almost painfully white before Atsumu released it completely. Shinsuke’s free hand shot forward, barely managing to catch it before it crashed to the ground and sent Atsumu spiraling even further from panic. He lowered it slowly to the ground, watching it slowly melt against the hard floor until it was flat, the residual sound of pencils and crayons rustling like a thousand warning bells to his ears.

Atsumu didn’t seem to notice though, and Shinsuke moved closer on his knees until his fingertips just barely brushed above Atsumu’s elbow. He slowly increased the pressure, gently guiding Atsumu forward until the child’s arms were wrapped around his neck and his head was buried under Shinsuke’s chin.

“Thank you, Atsumu. You’re doing very good, I’m standing up now. If you need me to let go just shake your head. You don’t have to worry about speaking.” Shinsuke stroked his back slowly, moving his hand until he could direct Atsumu’s legs around his waist and carefully he leaned back until he could stand.

Atsumu didn’t make a single sound as Shinsuke moved one arm under him and left the other to carefully stroke Atsumu’s hair. The only sign that he wasn’t a statue was the quiet gasps and the way Atsumu clutched at him almost desperately. Slowly he seemed to relax, his breathing getting a little bit smoother and the tension started to bleed out of him.

Shinsuke turned carefully on the spot, closing his own eyes for a second to push away the pain in his chest. He needed to look at this carefully, if Atsumu was hurting other kids then he needed to know and correct it before it escalated. He couldn’t give in to the heartache at seeing Atsumu so absolutely terrified and lost in his own panic, not yet at least.

“Shinji,” Shinsuke said the name low, opening his eyes to look over at the child standing in front of another Shinsuke didn’t know. “What happened?”

The principal moved to interrupt before Shinsuke narrowed his eyes at him.

“There’s no need for theatrics, Atsumu-kun is fine, he’s just a little upset-”

“Do not push me right now. Atsumu is beyond just upset, and I specifically told you to never remove him from his brother. Yet he was here, alone and I wasn’t even called. I am speaking with Shinji, when he is done, then we will see if it’s your turn to speak.” Shinsuke’s voice was colder than ice, steel glinting in his eyes and the principal seemed to realize exactly how angry he was.

Shinji glanced back at the silent kid behind him, reaching back to squeeze his hand before launching into the tale.

It didn’t take long, unlike Tooru, Shinji had never had the flair for the dramatics of storytelling. With each word Shinsuke had to fight to control his temper and a single glance at Tooru told him he was doing the same.

“We told Sensei but she told us we were tattling and then Aito came over and started bullying Hitoshi again! He pushed him off his chair and was calling him a baby and saying he didn’t belong here. Atsumu didn’t do anything but protect Hitoshi.” Shinji was saying, looking more than a little puffed up with anger. “I knocked Aito down and held him. Because Sensei wouldn’t protect Hitoshi! He was bleedin’ from the pencil. He’s always scared ‘cuz of them. Atsumu didn’t do anything!”

“Atsumu-kun didn’t try to stop you, either. You should have gone to Ito-sensei, and told her.” The principal insisted, not even bothering to look at the two angry parents as he stared down the seven year old. Shinji growled, not even remotely afraid or shy.

“I did! She didn’t do anything when he was bleedin’ and crying. Aito hurt Hitoshi-kun and Ito-sensei let him.” Shinji shouted, riled much farther than Shinsuke had ever seen him and nearly in tears with anger. He took a breath holding it, after a second it seemed to be too much to contain and he let out a stream of words in Hindi.

Atsumu sobbed in Shinsuke’s arms, immediately tightening his grip on him at the sound of Shinji shouting. Shinsuke shot a glance at Tooru, quietly murmuring to Atsumu to breathe as he tried to soothe him.

Tooru stepped closer to his son, quietly leaning down and murmuring something in his ear. Instantly Shinji’s mouth shut and his eyes went wide with worry as he turned to look at Atsumu. A few more Hindi words fell from his mouth as he bowed his head, clearly apologetic, but the damage was already done though Shinsuke didn’t blame him in the least.

Atsumu sobbed again, a nearly crushing pressure on Shinsuke’s neck as he held himself tighter to him. Shinsuke squeezed back in response, wanting to reassure Atsumu that he wasn’t alone or in trouble.

“I’m here, Atsumu. Breathe.” Shinsuke stroked his hair, feeling him shake his head. He moved to lower him down but Atsumu shook his head harder, another cry coming from him as he held on tighter.

“I’m… I… I’m sorry… I’m sorry,” He cried, muffled against Shinsuke’s shirt. “I’m sorry Papa. Please don’t send me away.”

For a second, Shinsuke himself forgot how to breathe. The pain in his chest intensified and he nearly cried himself before he squeezed Atsumu closer.

“No one’s going to send you away Atsumu, it’s okay. I’m here, I’m here.” He murmured it against his head, not even bothering to care that both Tooru and the principal looked concerned.

How could he care about anything else when Atsumu, his… his son was in so much pain?

Three more times he whispered the assurance into Atsumu’s ear before Atsumu’s hold finally slackened and he buried his face in Shinsuke’s shirt to cry silently.

Shinsuke could feel the protective rage bubbling under the pain that was destroying his heart. He looked back at the principal, uncaring of his look of surprise and curiosity.

Tooru had moved to quietly talk to the other kid behind Shinji, gently prodding at something on the kid’s cheek. Shinsuke assumed that was the ‘Hitoshi-kun’ Atsumu had tried to protect but he couldn’t quite focus on that.

“So.” Shinsuke said softly, careful not to startle Atsumu who had finally started to sniffle instead. “You consciously made the decision to remove Atsumu from his brother, the very thing I told you when I signed them up for class was not to happen for their emotional health, because he didn’t let his friend be bullied? You terrified him and Shinji and probably Hitoshi-kun too, by dragging them up here and telling them they’re in trouble because your teacher was incompetent?”

“They never told Ito-sensei about the pencil.” The Principal insisted, looking rather cornered. “Just about some paperballs. They’re harmless. Shinji and Atsumu should have told her when Hitoshi was bleeding, that’s clearly worse.”

“And how, may I ask, exactly are they supposed to know that? They tried to reach out and your teacher ignored them. In fact, she embarrassed them in front of the whole class instead of calling them up to talk to her in private and figure out what was going on. The moment she heard anyone was throwing something at someone else, she should have called Hitoshi up and checked to make sure he was okay. How exactly are they supposed to know what’s important and not when you won’t give anything they say credence?” Shinsuke barely held back the snarl he wanted to let out. Shinji and Atsumu and Hitoshi were children for the Gods’ sake!

Children didn’t come from the womb aware of what was bad and what was good. They had to learn and every time Shinsuke heard the word ‘tattle’ he hated it more. How was a child supposed to learn what was or wasn’t important if every time they tried to talk about what was bothering them they were chastised for ‘tattling’?

No matter how inane or boring the issue was to an adult, it was always important to the child. Children didn’t ‘tattle’, they pointed out things they thought were wrong or that bothered them asking for help. How could someone willingly spend their life teaching children and then forget how much it hurt to be ignored or embarrassed in front of the class?

“Well… They should have… they should have known that drawing blood-” The Principal started, clearly unsettled with the way things were going.

“Their teacher should have known when Shinji told her Hitoshi was upset.” Tooru cut him off, standing up again. “I want you to look me in the eye and tell me exactly what you called me in here for. Because, it sounds like you called me in to tell me how my son defended his friend who is currently bleeding and shaking like a leaf after your teacher refused to help. Then had the audacity to blame Atsumu, who literally had nothing to do with the fight and tried to tell the teacher what was happening. You broke an agreement you had with Shinsuke about the safety and well-being of both of the boys, then attempted to punish Atsumu and Shinji. Not even bothering to check on Hitoshi-kun or bring Aito or his family in here to explain why he thinks it’s okay to attack people literally sitting in their chairs.”

“Aito-kun is in the nurses office because he has a bruise from your son-”

“Hitoshi-kun has blood still coming out of an open wound and probably bruises from being shoved. Not to mention the mental toll it takes to deal with being attacked and then attacked again by your Principal who is supposed to protect you.” Tooru stepped in front of Hitoshi and Shinji, eyes gleaming with malice. “I would love to see you attempt to explain why that is to your board of directors, or even better a jury.”

The Principal paled instantly.

“There’s no need for that-”

“Then there’s no need for this to have ever happened.” Tooru’s lips twisted into a pleasant smile that made the mad look in his eyes much more dangerous. “Speak with Aito and his parents and make it clear who the actual instigator was, or I will make sure you never work with children again. And Ito-sensei should be spoken with as well about her handling of bullying. I’m not even going to bother trying to say to transfer classes, they have three more months till the end but I do not want to be called from work again to find out that you and your teachers are punishing any student for standing up for themselves or others.”

Shinsuke turned away, listening with one ear to the conversation as Atsumu stirred tiredly in his arms. He rubbed his back gently, shifting as Atsumu leaned back. Atsumu’s face was blotchy and tears stained his face but his eyes were clear as they focused on Shinsuke.

“Shi-shinsuke-san?” Atsumu asked shakily, blinking a few times. Shinsuke nodded, trying to push away the ache in his heart that wanted to choke him. Atsumu didn’t have to call him Papa, that wasn’t required no matter how much Shinsuke wished he would.

“Yes, Atsumu?”

“... I didn’t do anything… I promise.” Atsumu sniffled, letting go of Shinsuke’s neck to scrub his face. “I swear, I was good and I didn’t hit anyone or fight anyone or-”

“Atsumu, sweetie, I know. You’re not in trouble.” Shinsuke soothed, giving Atsumu a small smile in the hopes that he would relax. It seemed to work and Atsumu scrubbed at his nose, trying to clear it of snot.

“C-can we check on Hitoshi?” He leaned in to whisper and Shinsuke nodded, not bothering to tell him he could speak louder. He was clearly still on edge and seeing Tooru and the principal arguing wasn’t helping at all.

“Of course, do you want me to put you down?” Shinsuke offered but Atsumu shook his head, wrapping his arms around his neck again. 

Shinsuke hummed, adjusting his grip again before carefully moving to where Shinji was standing still holding the other child’s hand. As soon as Atsumu saw Hitoshi look up he scrambled from Shinsuke’s arms and ran towards the other boy, pulling him into a hug.

“Atsumu-kun!” Hitoshi cried as he hugged back, letting go of Shinji. Shinji blinked at the sudden arrival of Atsumu before throwing his own arms around both of them.

Shinsuke moved closer, until he could sit in the chair beside Hitoshi. The cut wasn’t very deep but it was long and with blood indeed still welling up and there was a smear of graphite down his face from the pencil.

“I’m sorry I scared you, I didn’t mean to get so mad.” Shinji said, shifting to loop his arms under Atsumu’s and hugging him tightly. “Is this okay? I can let go if you need me too.”

“It’s okay. I… Didn’t mean to freak out either… I just..” Atsumu heistated, looking like he just might cry again when Hitoshi dragged the both of them closer, nearly pulling them onto the seat.

“I know… I get freaked out all the time.. That’s why Rin-kun always has crackers with him, when I get super scared and then feel better again I’m always hungry so Rin-kun carries crackers around. Maybe if we see him again we can see if it makes you feel better too.” Hitoshi chirped, looking rather chipper for a child who was still shaking like he was waiting to be struck with another pencil.

“Hitoshi-kun,” Shinsuke said softly, waiting for Hitoshi to notice him, “do you know where your parents are?”

“Okaa-san is probably at work, she can’t answer the phone or she could lose her job.” Hitoshi said, glancing around for a moment. “Oh! You’re Atsumu’s Shinsuke-san.”

Shinsuke’s lips twitched.

“Yes I am. What about your father? Anyone who can come get you?” Shinsuke asked but before Hitoshi could answer Atsumu was turning around, still being hugged by Shinji and Hitoshi quite aggressively. He reached out and tugged gently on Shinsuke’s shirt until Shinsuke leaned in.

“Hitoshi’s papa isn’t around. It’s just him and his mom and his nee-san who’s only a year older.” Atsumu whispered rather loudly in his ear but Shinsuke just nodded.

“Thank you for letting me know. Hitoshi, would you like me to walk you home? We can stop by my store on the way and get you a bandaid for your cut and make sure it doesn’t get infected.” Shinsuke offered, blinking in surprise when Shinji suddenly tightened his arms around Atsumu though Atsumu just tilted his head like a confused puppy.

“What if we go to my house and then Chichi and Pita can make cupcakes or or cookies and Hitoshi can meet Papa normally instead of when he’s all grumpy.” Shinji blurted, almost bouncing though Atsumu didn’t seem to mind it at all, turning back to Shinsuke. “Hitoshi-kun likes volleyball and he likes Papa, and he’s never been… Neither has Osamu! We can bring Rin-kun and Osamu-kun too.”

“Only if you say sorry for calling me grumpy.” Tooru’s voice made them all look as he walked closer, laying his hands gently on Shinji’s shoulders. Behind him the Principal was slipping into his office, looking worn out and worried. “What have we told you about shaking people when you hug?”

“Not to do it to babies.” Shinji said confidently and Shinsuke had to admire his resolve to be so calm and happy even after everything that had happened. Tooru’s rather blank face twitched into a smile as he snorted softly.

“No, we said to not do it period but especially not to do it to babies.”

“Yeah, no babies here.”

“Keep smiling, you’re still in trouble for attacking someone. What would Hajime say if he was here?” Tooru admonished, making Atsumu and Hitoshi try and jump to their friend’s defense but Shinji just smiled even brighter. He wiggled, effectively shaking Atsumu and Hitoshi.

“Tatay would say ‘Next time, punch them in the nose like I taught you, don’t just tackle them this isn’t American Football’.”

Tooru blinked then sighed, looking at Shinsuke.

“That’s on me, Hajime would say that. Next guilt trip I’m using Hiro, he’s the best at making people guilty… Well.. the Principal will not be marking anyone's record, unfortunately not even Aito’s but he did promise to make sure he’s not in the same class as Hitoshi next year. There’s only three months of school left so there’s not much he can do about moving the kid sooner. You three are not in trouble and Osamu is not in trouble for yelling at the teacher-”

“Oh thank the gods, I thought I was going to be expelled and die.” A voice piped up, making them turn to see Osamu’s head around the corner of the hallway with Shigeru’s below it.

Shigeru blinked, staring at his father.

“I didn’t do anything… that can be proven.”

This week is Rintaro, Hitoshi, and Akagi’s POV:

Suna Rintaro wasn’t the biggest fan of people. He didn’t really have a lot of experience with them as it was, and when he did they tended to just rub him the wrong way.

If he went with his parents to events he had to deal with countless adults asking if he was as smart as his parents, if he was going to be doctors like them, could he even read? If he said yes he was as smart as them, no he wasn’t going to be a doctor because they never seemed happy, and ‘I’m six not three, do you know how to read?’ Then he had to deal with two hours of admonishments about pride instead of leaving him alone.

On the other hand, the other kids at school felt like screaming babies. Rintaro already knew how to write his name in Katakana, Kanji, and Hiragana, and yet they just went over it every single day. The other kids were still scratching out the characters slowly as if they’d never read anything before and Rintaro was bored.

Not to mention how often he had to deal with laughter when he used bigger words and the teachers would ask if he actually knew what they meant. Why would he use it if he didn’t know what it meant?

Hitoshi, atleast, seemed to catch on quickly to what Rintaro was saying. He could actually talk and didn’t care if Rintaro said too many big words. Plus he didn’t seem to care if Rintaro wanted to drag him around town trying new things.

Hitoshi did have a strange crush on Matsukawa Shinji that Rintaro just couldn’t understand. Shinji was nice but… boring. Shigeru was much more interesting, he could not only keep up with Rintaro in class but also wouldn’t cry if Rintaro punched him. What more could someone want in a rival?

Overall, Rintaro didn’t like people and liked having a single friend and a single enemy and not having to worry about anything else.

Then he met the Miya twins.

He wasn’t sure about Atsumu, he seemed angry and Rintaro didn’t really think that was worth dealing with. He was nice enough when talking though, and he was nice to Hitoshi so Rintaro couldn’t write him off just yet. If he was good enough for Hitoshi to like then Rintaro could put up with some anger issues.

Osamu though, was interesting. He seemed quiet like Hitoshi at first, until Rintaro started poking and prodding with a few quick words about his brother. Instantly he’d started to puff up like an angry bird before Rintaro had added that they could be friends. The bewilderment in his eyes was well worth risking getting punched, in Rintaro’s opinion.

Osamu had settled a lot faster into ‘friendship’ then Rintaro had expected. Most of the other kids still wanted to punch him even after nine months of school, but Osamu genuinely seemed to want to be friends. Even after Rintaro had scared him by fighting with Shigeru.

Secretly, guilt rolled in his stomach about that. He still didn’t understand why Osamu had looked so shaken when Ito-sensei came over to yell at them, it wasn’t like adults didn’t yell all the time. Yet Osamu looked seconds away from tears even after lunch ended and he’d held onto his brother the entire way, only cheering up a little when Shinji started talking to him quietly.

“Hey… Don’t be mean to Osamu or Atsumu…” Rintaro was shaken from his thoughts by Shigeru’s voice, so much softer than he’d ever heard. His rival’s eyes were pointed directly at his brother, looking almost sad.

“Why the hell would-” Rintaro started, anger filling his chest. He wasn’t like his parents, he didn’t just bully people for being sad.

A hand smacked his chest, narrowly avoiding Hitoshi who squeaked quietly before trying to square his shoulders in case another fist fight broke out.

“I’m serious! He’s not like you, okay?” Shigeru hissed, finally turning to look at him. “He’s like me… He’s a foster kid, the other kids are going to find out soon and they’re gonna be mean, real mean. Remember my first week? Me and Shinji didn’t tell anyone but they found out and kept pickin’ on him until I punched ‘em. They’re gonna find out, and I don’t care how long we’ve been friends. If you bully them I’ll punch you too.”

Rintaro froze, glancing over at the two twins talking with Shinji and then back to the silver haired one who had him stuck in the middle of the hall. How long had he and Shigeru been friends? Were they seriously adopted?

After a second, Rintaro realized he was an idiot for not noticing sooner, but it wasn’t like he listened to the other kids and their gossip anyways.

“I’m not going to say anything… I don’t care about that.” Rintaro insisted, glaring back at Shigeru until the other kid finally dropped his hand. “Who cares if they’re adopted? Atleast that means their parents want them.”

“... Sorry, Rin.” Shigeru muttered, gently punching his shoulder with a half smile. Rintaro punched him back and the smile immediately brightened, seconds before an actual blow bounced off his arm and the silver haired rat took off.

Hitoshi immediately wrapped his arms around Rintaro’s left arm, keeping him from running after Shigeru.

“Why’dya always gotta fight with him?” Hitoshi whined, blinking up at him when Rintaro glowered at him. Hitoshi had long since learned that while Rintaro would fight Shigeru any day of the week, he wouldn’t hit anyone else. Which sucked, because now he didn’t care about putting himself between them and Rintaro couldn’t do anything.

“He punched me?” Rintaro whined right back, letting himself be dragged towards the classroom again. “Besides, he likes it.”

“.... Just… Don’t hurt him.” Hitoshi said, squeaking when Rintaro stopped and looked at him with a scrunched up face.

“Ew, don’t tell me you… like Shigeru? Atleast Shinji's pretty, Shigeru’s like… like… a ungly mean creampuff.” 

“Wha- No!” Hitoshi shook his head, looking embarrassed. “I just… Rin-kun… I… Papa hit mama and she left. And if Shigeru leaves then you’re going to be really upset and I’m going to be upset and then I’m going to cry and then Neesan will tell me to shut up and then you’re going to be angry and then I’m going to cry again and-”

“Hitoshi, breathe.” Rintaro reached forward in a panic, smooshing Hitoshi’s cheeks together and the smaller child sucked in a loud breath and let it out again. Directly into Rintaro’s face.

“Ewww, you’re gross… And you didn’t brush your teeth this morning. I can smell nachos from yesterday.” Rintaro pressed his cheeks again. “I won’t hurt Shigeru. Pinky promise.”

He held out his hand and Hitoshi watched him, face still red from his momentary panic before he nodded, reaching and curling their pinkies together.

“Hey! Slowpokes, are ya comin’?” Shigeru’s face came from the class, glancing up at the clock across the room. “You’re going to be late.”

“Don’t close the door!” Hitoshi and Rintaro yelled, running at the room as the bell rang.

“Hey, Osamu,” Rintaro said quietly, offering Shigeru the scissors.

They were separated into groups and Atsumu, Hitoshi, and Shinji had been banished to the other side of the room after Shinji and Shigeru had started to giggle together too loudly. Thankfully both Atsumu and Hitoshi seemed fine with it, beyond a few eyerolls from Atsumu. Rintaro was worried Atsumu or Osamu were going to start crying at being separated again but whatever Shinji had said to them after lunch had apparently helped.

“Mm?” Osamu looked up from his paper, a shredded piece of paper stuck to his cheek. His face was rather blank when his brother wasn’t around, which Rintaro found strangely comforting. Finally he wasn’t the only one with a ‘dead face’ as his mother called it.

“What’s it like bein’ wanted? Y’know by your parents? My parents don’t want me at all, but if you’re adopted, they chose ya right- Ow!” Rintaro spun to glower at Shigeru, whose foot was still against his leg. Shigeru’s face was scrunched up in anger as he glared back, opening his mouth probably to tell Rintaro off.

“I wouldn’t know.” Osamu said, and Rintaro turned back to see him staring at his paper. “No ones ever wanted me. Well, ‘cept ‘Tsumu.”

Rintaro froze, terrified to press for more. He thought Shigeru said Osamu was like him, which would mean that he was adopted right? Or were his parents like Rin’s?

Another kick to his knee was followed by a hissed “Say you’re sorry, jerk! He’s doesn’t have parents yet.”

“S-sorry… I thought you were adopted already.” Rintaro tried to explain, trying to fix the guilt that was crushing his chest. 

“Oh…” Osamu brightened a little at the new information before shaking his head. “No, no, Shinsuke-san is just fostering us, cuz no one wants us…. I do hope he decides to let us stay though… He’s a lot nicer than the other foster parents.”

Rintaro wasn’t sure what to say to that. Though… His parents probably wouldn’t notice a new kid in the house and he knew how to write their signatures…

“I really like Shinsuke-san,” Osamu continued, his voice soft as he glued together two shapes. “He’s really nice and I think he likes us too… And I like going to the shop, ‘cuz it’s pretty and it’s fun to make things with all the ribbons. And I don’t want to lose my friends again when I have to leave.”

Rintaro blinked twice at him before reaching over and hugging him as tightly as he could.

“If anyone tries to send you away, me ‘n Shigeru’ll fight ‘em and you can stay with us.” Rintaro promised. “Pinky promise… Or you can stay with Hitoshi-kun, his Okaasan is super super nice, you just have to watch out for his neesan because she likes to bully people who are shorter than her, but I’ll fight her for you and you can just hang out with his Okaasan.”

Shigeru collapses onto Osamu’s other side, squeezing him between his two new friends.

“And if she can’t take you, I’ll ask Tatay and you can be my new baby brother and Atsumu too and you can be Akira’s big brothers and he’ll hug you for hours and be grumpy about it.” Shigeru laughed, holding tighter and Osamu giggled.

Rintaro watched Osamu melt between them, trying to hug both of them at the same time while laughing. Three more shaped pieces of paper had been glued to his cheeks and a few shreds were on his fingers, transferring themselves to Rintaro. He couldn’t really bring himself to care.

He had two brand new friends now and he was going to protect them just like Hitoshi.

Hitoshi wasn’t a big fan of fighting. It had always scared him, even just watching cartoons on tv when he was a toddler would quickly send him into a crying fit. He remained the same through the first few months of school, crying at any minor argument between the other kids until the school bullies realized he was the easiest to pick on.

It continued until he heard them laughing at Rintaro for using ‘condescending’ towards their history teacher. In a flash of bravery he never saw coming, he’d spun around and told them to shut up.

“You’re dumb, and you’re condescending.” Hitoshi had shouted, bringing everything to a standstill as the awful realization washed over him that he’d yelled at someone who could hit him. He’d been sent to the office for the remainder of class and by the time he’d returned he’d found himself with his first school friend.

He didn’t mind only having one friend. Rintaro was always really nice to him and liked to teach him new words just like Hitoshi’s mom had done before she had to get a second job. He never left Hitoshi alone or ran off with other people and forgot about him and he even got his neesan to stop calling him a baby.

Hitoshi didn’t think Shigeru counted as his friend because he was always messing around with Rintaro but he was nice so Hitoshi didn’t mind it when he came over to play during recess or spent the classes talking with Rintaro. After all, Shigeru might decide Hitoshi was interesting too and then he’d have two friends.

He’d tried to become friends with Shinji, after all the Matsukawa brothers were known as the friendliest in the entire school and the least scary. However, twenty seconds into being handed a fresh muffin from a smiling Shinji for saying hello, Hitoshi had decided he would never talk to him again. The hot face and nervous stomach was not worth a muffin, even if he did think Shinji was very nice. Very very nice.

Rintaro thought his ‘crush’ was funny but Hitoshi honestly just wanted to give Shinji something cool back. Since he didn’t have anything as nice as a fresh muffin, Hitoshi was just going to never talk to Shinji again.

It was foolproof.

Until the new kid, who was also nice but didn’t have muffins, immediately started a conversation with Shinji with absolutely no hesitation or worry. Hitoshi didn’t know what he was more jealous of, the fact that the new kid could make friends so quickly or that he didn’t get super nervous just by looking at Shinji.

Now, he was squished between Shinji and Atsumu in the back corner of the room trying to glue together a bunch of paper shapes to make cards. Part of Hitoshi wondered if this was payback for every time he didn’t stop Rintaro from eating Shigeru’s lunch. 

The gods must have been laughing because as soon as Shinji sat down he was pulling out two slightly squashed cupcakes.

Internally Hitoshi swore he was going straight home today and giving the gods anything they wanted if they stopped torturing him. Instead of saying any of that, he just inclined his head gratefully to Shinji and shoved the cupcake in his mouth before the teacher noticed and told them to put it away.

Atsumu was carefully peeling his and nibbling at the rich pink and white frosting, a giant cat cut out from paper in front of him. Hitoshi took a moment to watch him, curious.

Everyone in school knew Shinji and Shigeru weren’t the Matsukawa’s real kids, but it wasn’t the same thing. They were already adopted, but the Miya twins were actual foster kids and Hitoshi had never met one of them before.

Atsumu didn’t look any different then the other kids, other than the black bruises down the side of his face but Hitoshi barely noticed them. His mom was really clumsy too and used to have bruises all the time too.

He was a little grumpier then Hitoshi thought especially since Shigeru and Shinji were always so happy. Then he thought about it. If he was taken away from his mom he’d be upset and angry too and Atsumu didn’t even have a mom or dad to go home too. 

“What’re you starin’ at me for?” Atsumu grumbled and Hitoshi jumped, squeaking out an apology and shrinking down when he was glared at.

“Atsumu,” Shinji intervened with the talent of someone used to keeping Shigeru from fighting other kids, “he was just looking at you. Hitoshi-kun doesn’t talk much, he was probably just trying to think of something to say… right Hitoshi-kun?”

The urge to run screaming to hide behind Rintaro built in his chest as Hitoshi nodded, trying not to look Shinji in the eye in case he turned into a tomato. That didn’t stop Shinji from smiling as widely as he could at him before turning to Atsumu.

“See? You don’t have to be mean to your friends, Atsumu… and yes, being grumpy at them is mean.” Shinji giggled, endlessly cheerful as Atsumu seemed to sulk slightly in his chair. Hitoshi couldn’t help but be fascinated by him.

He had been so nice at first even if he was really protective of his brother, and now he was grumpy again. Was it because Osamu was having fun without him? Hitoshi’s neesan always had fun without him so he didn’t really see the problem.

“Atsumu-kun,” Hitoshi started, only to squeak as a paper ball struck the back of his head.

Sniggers erupted behind him and Hitoshi sighed, shrinking down slightly. This was why he always tried to group up with Rintaro and Shigeru. No one was going to fight those two just to make him cry.

“Hitoshi-kun?” Atsumu looked confused at his squeak, head tilted almost completely to his shoulder. Shinji on the other hand, already had his eyes narrowed on the group of laughing kids behind them.

“It’s okay, really… Really Shinji-kun, it’s okay.” Hitoshi tried to insist without letting his voice pitch too high. Shinji glanced at him before sighing and offering him the glue stick.

“You know, you should just tell Shigeru,” Shinji said, silver eyes glowing with a surprising amount of hostility, “He’d take care of any bullies.”

“Shigeru-kun would get in trouble for it and it’s not worth getting in trouble for me. I can handle it-” Two more balls smacked against his back, tearing out a small shriek before Hitoshi clamped his hands over his mouth.

The sounds of two chairs being thrown back made the room go silent as both Atsumu and Shinji stood up. There was a moment of silence as everyone else tried to understand what was going on and Hitoshi had to wave his hand frantically to stop Rintaro and Shigeru from rising up.

“Atsumu-kun! Shinji-kun! What are you two doing? Sit back down.” The teacher called from the front, lips twisted in a frown. “Don’t make me have to call your parents, especially you Shinji-kun. You haven’t been listening at all today, its not like you.”

Slowly, they lowered themselves back into their seats. Shinji looked only a little annoyed but Atsumu looked genuinely upset and Hitoshi immediately scooted closer.

“It’s okay, really.” Hitoshi whispered over to him, trying to offer him a crayon. “I’m used to it, don’t get in trouble with the teacher.”

“I don’t care about the teacher, but Shinsuke-san…” Atsumu cut himself off, looking close to tears.

“Shinsuke-san?” Hitoshi prompted, glancing up when Shinji stood up and started making his way to the teacher.

“Shinsuke-san… is my… foster parent.” Atsumu looked away, voice getting softer and softer as if he was embarrassed by what he was saying.

“Is he… mean?” Hitoshi said after a moment of confusion. Atsumu looked up immediately, shaking his head panickedly.

“No! No, Shinsuke-san is really really nice… He’s… He’s the nicest parent I’ve ever had… but foster parents don’t like it when you get into trouble… they say you make them look bad and then they don’t want you anymore… and if… If we do really good then… Shinsuke-san might keep Osamu so… Osamu will have a dad.”

Hitoshi hesitated, trying to think it all over. How could a child make their parents look bad? His mother loved him no matter how bad Hitoshi did in school or if he got in trouble. She’d be upset but she always wanted him, always loved him. 

Suddenly Hitoshi felt terrible for anytime he’d thought about wanting parents like the other kids. At least he had his mom and she’d do anything for him. Osamu and Atsumu didn’t have anyone at all.

“What about you? Why don’t you get to be adopted?” Hitoshi forced the question out, certain he didn’t want to hear the answer. Atsumu looked confused at Hitoshi’s question, like he couldn’t understand why Hitoshi didn’t already know.

“No one wants me, Hitoshi-kun. I’m a bad kid. Kids like me… we just get kicked around until we’re adults then we take care of ourselves. Nobody willingly adopts trouble-makers. But Osamu is a good kid, he listens to all of his elders and eats his vegetables and he’s good at cleaning. He never talks too much and doesn’t trip and get hurt or make too much noise. If he gets adopted then he won’t have to leave, and he can be happy.” Atsumu didn’t seem to see anything wrong with what he said but Hitoshi felt sick.

His mother always told him that there was no such thing as a bad kid, just a misunderstood one. How could anyone tell Atsumu he was bad? He was nice, even if he was grumpy, he just wanted to protect his brother.

He opened his mouth, ready to tell Atsumu that he and his brother could move in when a pencil smacked against his cheek.

He yelped, immediately shielding his eye as his cheek twinged with pain. Atsumu was standing up again, hand closing around Hitoshi’s shirt like he was going to throw Hitoshi behind him.

“No, what about, what about Shinsuke-san?” Hitoshi squeaked and Atsumu froze. Guilt and panic flooded Atsumu’s eyes.

“Sensei, they’re…” Atsumu said, barely catching her attention from Shinji who immediately stopped talking, looking worried. “They’re throwing things at Hitoshi-kun.”

Atsumu seemed to be shaking even as the teacher glanced over at the other group of tables. She sighed, shaking her head at them.

“You and Shinji both today, stop it with the tattling.” The teacher sighed, shaking her head and pointing back at their table. “Finish your cards, I don’t want to hear anything else about this. They’re just paper balls.”

Atsumu looked as sick as Hitoshi felt, watching Shinji walk towards them with stiff shoulders. The sniggers were grating on Hitoshi’s ears as Shinji took his seat, all of their faces bright red after the teacher’s words.

“I’m sorry,” Hitoshi whimpered, tears already starting to leak out of his eyes.

“No, Hitoshi-kun. It’s not your fault.” Shinji reached out, trying to wipe them away but it did nothing to stop the stream. Instead he just hiccuped and sobbed, nodding his head. 

His new friend was getting in trouble because of him and Atsumu looked scared and it was Hitoshi’s fault. Hitoshi got him in trouble and he might get in trouble at home too. Hitoshi just messed up everything, every time, he couldn’t do anything right.

Atsumu reached over, trying to nudge his new friend to break him out of his panic when he hit someone else. He looked up to see the kid sitting behind them that had thrown the pencil. Already Atsumu wanted to smack him to get him away from Hitoshi.

“What are you two doing with this baby? I know your brother likes to hang out with them but I thought you were better than that Shinji-kun.” The other kid said, sneering down at Hitoshi’s choked sobs. “He’s just a baby, he shouldn’t even be in school.”

“Shut up.” Shinji snapped, turning to Hitoshi and dabbing at his eyes with his sleeve. “It’s okay Hitosh-kuni, don’t listen to him. It’s okay.”

“Seriously? He can’t even stop crying.” The kid looked disgusted, turning and shoving Hitoshi out of the chair. “Look he’s just a-”

Whatever he was, he didn’t get to share because Shinji launched himself out of his chair with a string of words that didn’t sound like Japanese. In seconds the other boy was on the ground, the full weight of the older student on him and holding him down.

Atsumu didn’t even think, moving to Hitoshi’s side and pulling him up to his feet before standing in front of him, arms out in case anyone else tried to hit him.

“Shinji! Atsumu! What are you two doing?” The teacher yelled and Atsumu’s heart sank.

Shinsuke was going to be so upset with him.

Akagi had known Kita Shinsuke since their first year of middle school. Since the moment the kid had taken the watch Akagi had stolen from the middle school bully and put it back in the bully’s bag and sat by passively as the teacher admonished the bully for lying about thieves.

“You shouldn’t have stolen it… But he shouldn’t have broken Yuna-chan’s nose.” Shinsuke had said and Akagi had refused to leave his side ever since.

He’d met Ojiro Aran on the first day of highschool with a spike to the face and he’d never made a friend faster.

He’d grown up with them and watched his team spread apart.

Akagi never worried for Aran. Aran knew where he was going and absolutely no one would ever stop him. Until he basically dropped off the map three years ago.

Sure, Akagi knew he was actually just in France and he was still playing at the top. Yet, even Akagi who spent his days travelling over the entire world freelance saw their friends more than he did. For three years Akagi only saw him once a year, still happy, still healthy, but so far away.

Oomimi, of course, was never someone anyone had to worry about. He was the only one Akagi knew should actually be trusted to be an adult, because even after having the title for ten years Akagi knew he wasn’t an adult. He’d chosen to become a social worker, helping children and trying to battle against the system to protect them.

He always left a key for Akagi and never minded a visit. He always checked up on Shinsuke and kept updates on Aran as best as he could between the man’s erratic texting skills.

Shinsuke, however, Shinsuke always worried Akagi.

Not because he wasn’t mature, no, no, he was the most emotionally aware and probably the strongest person Akagi had ever met. Sometimes, though, Shinsuke would get trapped in his own mind without realizing it. 

He always had his routines, the way he’d clean the bathrooms at exactly 2:58 until 3:13 then move to the locker rooms and change in precisely three minutes. He’d stretch for ten minutes, run four laps and stretch for another three. Then serves, then blocking, then receives. Everything was planned and ordered and any deviation would scratch at him like an itch until he either broke or fixed his schedule.

Shinsuke’d become more tolerant of mishaps in his routine as he got older, no longer completely breaking down when not able to finish something properly. He’d insisted that he learn how to handle it, refusing to lose even a second of his life to panic.

He was doing well, Akagi knew it. He adapted to the changing schedules of his employees, making his own routine in little things. Getting up, cleaning the house, visiting the shop, leaving for the gym, evening reading. The foster kids helped, keeping him on his toes and away from a routine set in stone while he still got to encourage and help them.

Shinsuke always loved kids after all, and he’d been so excited to take after not only his Grandmother but his late parents’ old wedding shop. Then he’d quit being assigned foster kids, not through any fault of his but there just wasn’t as many in their area and the government wasn’t in the habit of shipping kids across prefectures over and over again.

Shinsuke had fallen into old habits. Every part of his day was perfectly planned out, even to the point of letting him craft a ‘plan’ for the next few years that panicked him to deviate from. Though he adjusted better than Akagi thought he would with the twins, he could still see the way it picked at him not being able to follow his routine.

He could see it in the way Shinsuke twitched toward the door before he’d remember he had promised to show Osamu how to make pancakes. The way his breath would catch when he saw the time and would shift to look away. Even the constant tapping of his fingers gave him away, the itch that burrowed in his mind and was driving him subtly insane.

The adoration for the twins was holding back the worst of the reactions but Akagi knew Shinsuke would start to crack soon if he couldn’t get it out. If he didn’t face it head on and start adjusting his ‘plan’ accordingly.

Akagi knew his best friend far too well. He saw the way Shinsuke had grown too attached to the boys, his endless pride for each tiny step in the right direction, the way he shifted his routine to try and welcome them regardless of the internal consequences. Yet Shinsuke insisted he was going to let them go and find them a ‘proper’ home as if they couldn’t all see how much Shinsuke loved them. He would hold to that ‘plan’ until he was torn apart.

Which was why Akagi had harassed Tooru into helping him. Tooru hadn’t been the most willing, as loyal to their boss as everyone else in the shop but he also was the most stubborn. Once he heard about Shinsuke refusing to take a day off, he’d immediately jumped on board and promised to keep Shinsuke out of the shop. Then Akagi told a white lie to Oomimi and waited until he knew Shinsuke was going stir crazy after a too long set routine of constant mental and physical stimulation and told Oomimi to call him and ask him where he was.

Akagi hadn’t planned on Aran taking such advantage of the chance to hold Shinsuke, much less straight up hold his hand, but he wasn’t going to look a gift horse in the mouth.

Even now, as he skated toward the rink wall, he could see them sitting together with Shinsuke’s head on his shoulder as they talked.

“If they find out you’re trying to set them up, you’ll be in trouble.” Oomimi hummed, offering him a water bottle. The tall social worker didn’t seem bothered by Akagi’s tricks, but he’d also known Akagi was going to try and shove Aran and Shinsuke together from the moment Aran was back in town.

“It’s okay, Oomimi-kun will protect me.” Akagi laughed, fluttering his eyes at the bored look in Oomimi’s eyes. “Besides, they’re so busy just starin’ at each other they wouldn’t notice if I stripped naked.”

Oomimi froze, eyes narrowed before he relaxed again when he realized Akagi meant it only as a joke.

“Why do you care anyways? You don’t even believe in romance.” Oomimi sighed, taking back the water bottle and putting it on the bench behind him. He glanced back at the two, watching their lips curve up in identical smiles neither party aware of it. Much more and Oomimi was going to have to interrupt to tell them to either kiss or stop looking at each other like that.

“I don’t not believe in romance,” Akagi said, flicking his hand dismissively, “I just think most people chase after it thinking it’s this great feeling. Then they give up as soon as it goes away. I find it shallow and honestly boring, makes me glad I don’t have to deal with it. But…”

His eyes traveled to the two talking, the light pink on Shinsuke’s cheeks and the laughter coming from Aran. In over fourteen years, he’d never seen them look at anyone else like they looked at each other. They just molded together perfectly, enhancing every moment and supporting each other endlessly. Theirs was the only romantic story that could ever make Akagi wonder what it would be like if he felt the same romantic feelings they did.

“They make each other happy. Even just being friends, they’re really happy. They know each other even after being apart, ‘Mimi. They know how to keep each other stable and they deserve to have that. They’re just both dumb. Aran’s stuck in his own world of ‘someone like Shinsuke could never love me, because I’m a big dumb gay baby’ and Shinsuke’s stuck in this world of ‘If I didn’t put it in the plan it’s not happening and I will fight the gods for my right to fuck up my own life.’ I love them so much.”

Oomimi snorted, rolling his eyes.

“Michinari. Stop bullying them.”

“Ren, make me.” Akagi stuck out his tongue and Oomimi rolled his eyes, reaching out to flick his nose.

“They’ll figure it out. You don’t have to push them together, they’re adults now.” Oomimi looked rather amused, leaning against the skating wall. “Trust me. Everything’s going to be just fine.”

“... You sound a little bit too certain of that.” Akagi narrowed his eyes at his best friend, gasping at the curve of his mouth moving up. “What did you do?”

“I don’t know what you mean… But I will tell you that you should buy a house if Shinsuke doesn’t decide to adopt the boys in two weeks because Aran still lives in an apartment and I’ve got so many paperwork packets that just need signatures.”

“So… If Shinsuke doesn’t adopt the boys… I get to adopt them.” Akagi gasped, amusement flooding through him as Oomimi seemed to immediately regret what he’d said.

“On the other hand, I can buy a house and just give it to Aran, it’s fine.”

“What! No, no I want the boys. Give me the twins, I pinky promise I’ll only teach them a few bad words.” Akagi whined, squawking when another voice cut in.

“You will not be teaching the boys any bad words.” Shinsuke was half wrapped around Aran’s arm, still slipping even on the rubber mats. He looked only mildly annoyed in the turn of his lips, his gaze bright with amusement and Akagi cackled softly.

Aran looked as soft as ever, easily carrying Shinsuke’s weight and looking at his two other friends. He still had a tinge of dark blush over his cheeks and Akagi had to admit he was cute, no wonder so many people had confessed to him senior year.

“Hey, Aran, marry me and we’ll steal Kita’s kids.” Akagi chirped, laughing even louder when Aran face palmed.

“I’m not marrying you to adopt the twins, I’ll just adopt them on my own.” Aran said, ignoring Akagi’s dramatic gasp.

“Don’t touch my kids… Don’t let him touch my kids. Osamu doesn’t need to know any bad words, he’d like them far too much.” Shinsuke said, looking at Oomimi before stepping towards the ice carefully.

Akagi held his breath, hoping to hear him squeak or yelp but he got nothing. How boring, his friends were so inconsiderate to not help him out and give him something to laugh at them for.

Aran held him carefully until he was sure Shinsuke wouldn’t fall, then stepped after him. Akagi yowled as an arm wrapped around his neck and tucked him into a firm chest, then he relaxed, sticking his tongue up at Aran.

“C’mon Ren. You can watch me fall.” Shinsuke teased, holding his hand out to Oomimi who sighed dramatically before skating over to Shinsuke’s side and taking his hand.

“If we go down, we’re taking them with us.” Oomimi told Shinsuke who nodded and tightened his hold on Aran.

“Oh I plan too.”