ah ree el

INFJ: *cries over fictional character’s pain and suffering*

We don’t have anything to say. (This is an extremely common one—we feel that filling the air with words when we don’t have a good reason isn’t worth it.)

We may feel like people are ignoring us. (Another common reason we don’t say much. If we feel like our insights or ideas aren’t appreciated we don’t voice them for fear of getting shut down.)

We could be worrying about something or someone and not want to talk about it.

Possibly we are just having one of those days that we simply can’t put thoughts into words. (This is true for me half of the time.)

For those who don’t know, an INFJ doorslam is a thing termed for when an INFJ (slowly) stops talking to a person and is never heard from again. It can all happen very quickly or take its time. And we INFJs just don’t have any will or motivation to expend the energy to communicate with that person anymore.

A lot of my friends, and I’m sure people I’ve doorslammed, wonder why we do it. And the thing is, when it comes to contention *INFJs SHUT DOWN and REATREAT*, or just when feeling any negativity because of someone. I think we’re definitely more prone to flight when faced with contention that’s directly targeting us (vs. it targeting people we care about/things we’re passionate about). We don’t want to be around that painful negativity, and talking to them just seems pointless. We don’t know what we could say to someone who views us in a negative way.

Sometimes the person didn’t even do anything mean to us or anything like that, we just don’t feel comfortable around them and get the wrong vibe. I find also that different people expend my energy at different levels. People I’m close to hardly take energy from me, so I naturally avoid those who require tons of effort to be around.