well

i thought things were better but im really sad again and anxious, and i know i shouldnt be feeling like this and i know its not ok to feel like this and it feels really hard to talk about bc the one person i wanna tell it too doesnt really care. like i dont really matter right now like im not enough or im not a whole person. idk how a couple small things could just shatter whatever his illusion of me is, but why do i have to be made to feel so small. i keep giving myself up and keep losing bits of myself. am i scared of being alone or am i just scared of being without him. i love him so much, im torn between letting this all go or doign everything i can to salvage it even if it means driving myself insane, and that just doesnt feel right. im sorry im not enough and that im not perfect, but i want to be, i want to try?? i wish you wanted to try. i just want to be able to breathe, why has everything been so hard and just piling on top of me everything hurts im so tired