thoughtfulexhale

im tired of being the good time. the one that feels good but you cant be with. the one you shouldnt be with, you couldnt possibly be with. im tired of stroking your ego, hoping that youll reciprocate the compliments and attention for once. im tired of convincing myself that youll pick me one day. im tired of wondering how much i should hold back from you, and im tired of hating myself when i think ive shared too much. im tired of feeling ugly and stupid whenever im around you. im tired of waiting for you to magically destroy all of my insecurities. im tired of forgetting i don’t need anyone to complete me. im tired of feeling incomplete without your attention. im tired of you filling the void that needs to be free for the right love to fill it. im tired of all the excuses i come up with for not taking care of myself, and for failing to create boundaries. im tired of how complicated love feels.

even though i know it will end, i want to enjoy the ride.