can you share a little more about the feels, please?
I genuinely get nervous about these kinds of posts, cause I know that the more specific I get, the more I look delusional. Like, at any time the boys themselves could sit me down and explain that I’ve got it all wrong, I misinterpreted everything somehow and now I’m a clown in full makeup.
But you know what? We could use more healings, so let me be a clown if that’s what it takes 🤭 I’m going down with this ship, I’m here for the long game so what does it matter.. And this is about the love itself, so it doesn’t really matter what you think their status is. I’m all about their love, which transcends this noise ✨
The best way to answer this is to say what I usually pick up from from the two of them. Because even though it’s similar (I mean, same river, two different sides of it), there’s a noticeable shift when it’s coming from one of them versus the other.
I’ve said a few times now that Connor feels like the sea. Like water that flows through the earth, moving steady and gently reaching across the distance. It’s like he extends his hands out and moves stars around, with a lightness and precision that feels like he’s floating and seeing everything from some place far away, but never removed. When he searches for Hudson it’s a crescendo, a rising movement of stars and energy that seeks to assimilate, to merge. There’s an element of possession, but very much along the lines of, You belong to me, why are you drifting away by yourself? Incredibly much the feeling of, Come here, come home where it’s safe. I get imagery like their faces blurring together, his hands reaching into Hudson’s energy and trying to shift things around. Very cosmic, and it would be frightening if I didn’t know it was from immense, consuming love and a need to protect. I’ve said Connor feels like an old energy: powerful and persistent, but gentle and comforting. He wraps himself around you.
The really cool thing is that I get similar cosmic movement from miss B, when I’m allowed to perceive her. I’m so certain that’s a big part of why they communicate so seamlessly. They both can speak on the same frequency. But I digress.
Now onto Hudson… Full disclosure, he doesn’t show me his lovey dovey feelings as often. I think the reason is twofold: one, Connor is probably blocking me from getting that close because that’s his baby and two, he’s got so much other stuff going on.. so much. Huds has a lot of reason to be as tired as he is, I’ll just say that.
But when he does reveal it… oh wow. It’s like I catch him slipping and it’s a powerful window into his vision.
I’ll say I’ve only ever cried twice when I get these currents. Both times it was because there was an image of love so clear and profound that I thought, jesus, to love and see someone like this. An image of Connor that is so clear and vivid, like his world is tilting around him. Like god, that’s my person, here is the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen. Heart and soul, I would do anything for you.
It’s like Hudson is getting buried in that noise inside his head, but when he focuses on Connor it falls still. His world illuminates into technicolor. Something hits a switch and suddenly very little else matters outside of all these colors and definition.
It’s disorienting, in a way. Because there’s always a bittersweet edge to it, like his emotions are trying to fight their way out. He wants to be open about it all, but buried with that immense love is a lot of grief and old pain he’s trying to work through at the same time. Being that vulnerable is terrifying, because you have to move through all the shit in the way.
But Connor sees into him, reaches into his soul and knows where to find the light. They can vanish inside each other because Connor is the star that guides him through the shadows and obstacles in his path. And Connor knows that at the end of the day, despite anything, Hudson puts him inside a delicate box that he would do anything to keep safe. He knows he’s kept next to his heart, no matter what.
It’s really beautiful tbh. Stirs the heart strings real bad ❣️