mimi

You’ve always wanted someone to be yours. Someone whose shoulder you could lean on, arms to be held in, warmth to feel. And you’ve tried to find it; in late-night hookups, awkward first dates— even a shitty situationship you still think about from time to time. But this time, you told yourself things would be different. You’d take your time and take your heart off of your sleeve, holding it close to your chest.

Then came Toji; he was a force to be reckoned with, walls so high he wasn’t sure he could break them down anymore, yet, they seemed to crumble around you. He wasn’t sure what it was about you specifically that made him this way. The mercenary was sure his heart was sworn off to his late wife, but perhaps there was room for one more? 

So, he decided to give you a chance. He partook in cute date nights he would have normally scoffed at, he found himself at your place more often than his own, and best (or worst, he thought) of all, he poured his mind and heart all over you, in quiet whispers that soaked into your embrace. 

At first, you were weary with how open Toji was after just a few months. He didn’t seem like the type of guy to do that without a bad motive behind it. He wasn’t. But for you, he would change, or be damned trying. It became less often that you would smell tobacco on his clothes and he had extra money to spend on you. Slowly, you became used to the idea that he could truly be the one for you. You changed too. Suddenly, you had a reason to get out of bed, shave your legs, and feel pretty. Your mind felt clearer, you were more in tune with the world around you. You came to the realization that you had both brought back a spark of life within each other’s souls.

ᯓᡣ𐭩 --- present day

“We’re going out tonight,” he said casually as his head rested on your lap, your hand raking through his grown out hair; you didn’t mind it, in fact, you encouraged his new look.

“Where to?” You asked, looking down at him.

“New restaurant that opened up downtown, thought you’d like it.” he replied, glancing back up at you.

Toji had a knack for paying attention to the small things, especially when it came to you. He knew you were a foodie and loved new experiences in general, so this was easy money.

Of course, you beamed with excitement, mentally planning what you’d wear tonight. However, the universe had other plans for you. Not only was it pouring outside, but the restaurant decided to close early because of it.

He told you as you were mid-earring insertion, your shoulders falling as you sighed. You gave him a small smile through the mirror.

“It’s fine. We can go another night,”

Toji simply hummed in agreement, slowly slinking out of the doorway and off to somewhere else in the apartment. When you were finally alone, your face fell. It wasn’t the first time plans didn’t work out, but tonight it almost felt like the other shoe was finally dropping. Maybe this was the catch to an otherwise amazing relationship. You try not to let the tears in your eyes spill over as you began to wipe your face, foundation and lipstick staining the towel.

ᯓᡣ𐭩 ---

Meanwhile, Toji sat on the couch, scrolling on his phone mindlessly as the TV droned on in front of him. He felt pretty indifferent about the night going sideways. Sure, it was a shame they couldn’t go out, but the logical part of him didn’t dwell on it. When she walked out of the bathroom in a random t-shirt of his and shorts, he could sense the mood switch. He had a knack for reading people thanks to his upbringing.

“What’s wrong?” Toji asked.

“Nothing,” she sighed, leaving a noticeable distance between the two of them as she sat down.

“If you don’t wanna talk, fine. But I won’t let you bottle shit up when I’m right here,”

Toji said, holding eye contact she didn’t yet reciprocate. She could hear the determination, the promise in his low voice. She knew he wasn’t going to let this go. It made her wonder if he truly meant what he said, or if it was to simply placate her. The longer she thought, she realized how little he spoke; how much words must mean to him.

ᯓᡣ𐭩 ---

“I’m a little disappointed our date night got canceled again.” You admit, exhaling like you remembered to stop holding your breath.

He hummed, thinking carefully of a response.

“I know. It doesn’t have to mean it’s over though,”

“What do you mean?” You asked, not believing he was really about to suggest something else to do. In your other relationships, once a plan was canceled, that was it. No make ups, no hanging out.

“We can, uh, watch those shitty rom-coms you like and yell at the TV like they can hear us.” It sounded awkward coming out of his mouth, but you could tell he meant it.

“Really?”

“Why not? We ain’t got nothing else to do.” Toji shrugged.

“That…means a lot to me.”

“Good.”

ᯓᡣ𐭩 ---

The rest of your night was perfect, better than any restaurant date could’ve been. No deep digging questions or arguments, just his head against your chest and your hand playing in his hair as you occasionally made commentary about the movie in front of you. At around one in the morning, the two of you were halfway asleep despite the visibly uncomfortable position you twisted yourselves in on the couch.

“Babe, get up,” he mumbled against your neck, lips grazing your skin. You shivered as goosebumps rose.

“I don’t wanna.”

“Please?” he asked (rare, I know), slowly kissing the column of your neck, hands wrapping around your waist.

Well, that certainly had you wide awake.

“Okay, okay…” You replied, leaning back on your elbows in an attempt to sit up. Unfortunately for you it was too late. Toji had already gotten the proper grip to pull you forward against him and into his arms as he stood. His hands remained underneath your thighs, finding his way to your bedroom strictly by memory because of his obstructed view (thanks to your hair.)

The raven-haired man pushed the door open with his foot, gently laying you down on your bed. You looked up at him with half-lidded eyes and he stared back, just admiring you, in awe, perhaps. He didn’t make a move to join you nor make a suggestive comment.

“Are you staying?” You asked, rubbing at your eyes, pushing your curls out of your face.

“If you want me to.” he answered calmly.

“Lay down.” And he did.

Toji joined you in bed as best as he could given your starfish position and his large frame. He didn’t expect your arms to find his torso and wrap around them, and eventually neither of you could tell when your respective limbs started and ended.

“I didn’t know you could get this clingy.” he commented quietly.

“Me neither.” You didn’t know you still had it in you to be soft like this, but he brought it out of you, apparently.

“Why is that?”

His question surprised you, but you felt inclined to answer in this vulnerable moment.

“I didn’t think I could be anymore, but you made me realize I could.”

He didn’t reply verbally, only with a small smile that seemed like he saved just for you. It almost made you want to cry for a different reason, but thankfully you were too exhausted to process this at the moment.

“Goodnight,” she whispered.