Sometimes I Write Things

“That was ONE time!”

“Due to an administrative error”, or any major plot point which is caused almost entirely by bureaucratic fuckups

“Contrary to popular belief” appended to something that’s either really obvious or completely subjective

A character makes an assertion, then cut to the narrator contradicting it (‘“Everything’s fine!” Everything was not fine.’)

First-person narrators who call a specific character by a series of increasingly convoluted nicknames

Unusual narrative euphemisms. I still hold that describing around a curse word is almost always funnier than just using the word.

Establishing character moments which subvert your expectations right from the get-go. The best example is in the Brooklyn Nine Nine pilot, where Jake’s fooling around at the crime scene before revealing that he’s already solved the case.

Montages. Just montages of any kind, for any reason, anytime. I actually think they work better in text form because you can do so many creative things with them.

Side characters with a level of fourth-wall awareness / quasi-supernatural ability which is never quite certain, like the janitor in Scrubs.

Double meanings in narration that take a while to make themselves clear.

Peers dubiously at fic.

Ignores fic for five minutes.

Pokes fic with stick.

Pretends not to watch fic from bed.

Stares at fic from corner.

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