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3. They will have their favorite type of tea - whether it’s in a bag or in leaf format, and what brand. There’s Yorkshire tea, Lipton tea, loads of different types. 

4. They will have their favorite milk or creamer for their tea. Some will have lemon (for squeezing) as an option as well. 

5. And they will have a method for the actual preparation of the tea. It is the topic of major debate in most places in the UK. “What comes first, the milk or the tea?” / “How long do you leave the tea bag in for?” / “You MUST remove the tea bag before you put the milk in”. There’s loads of examples of how people’s views on making tea.

6. Digestive biscuits, or any type of “cookie” (generally called biscuits in British English) will often be offered along with your tea. 

About queueing and cars:

1. Queueing - or waiting in line - is a thing that people think of when they think of Britishness. British people are very good at it, even if they’re fuming inside.

2. Cars drive on the left side of the road. And that (usually) means that the steering wheel is on the right side, with passenger seat on the left. 

About social etiquette, and “softened” speech:

1. Generally speaking, British and UK people value manners very highly. More importantly, if someone you don’t really know asks “How are you?”, the correct response is “Alright, you?”. You do not elaborate. You do not say “My goldfish just died and I’m actually quite depressed.” No. You just say “I’m fine.” And that is acceptable. 

2. Similarly, if something awful’s happened to you, you soften the reality of it. You play it down, and don’t make it a big thing. Being “stoic” is another stereotypical (but honestly pretty true) characteristic of classic Britishness. 

3. A number of British, Irish and Scottish people I’ve met (especially middle, upper-middle and upper-class families) care a lot about table setting rules and table manners, so that’s worth investigating too and also incorporating into your characters. For example, Hermione as a character cares about table manners and oral hygiene, but she also was a single child from a family of two dentists. They had the time and patience to teach her that stuff. The Weasleys, on the other hand, may have been too stressed to deal with teaching their kids table manners after Charlie. (Bill, Percy and Charlie seem to handle themselves alright, and Ginny too. But Ron, as we know, is a mess, and it drives Hermione crazy even in the books). The Malfoys, comparatively, care about how they appear in public. These are things to think about. Where does Snape fall on the scale?

Vocabulary differences (colorful language coming up):

1. INSULTS: There are huge differences between USA English and British English when it comes to insults. For example, it’s really unlikely that you’ll hear a British person calling someone an “a**hat.” You’re more likely to hear them calling someone a “tosser/wanker/git/prat/pillock” (sorry British/UK folks, this is a teaching moment). Note: If you use an American English word in a story that’s set in the UK, it’s noticeable. If authenticity is your goal, then Google is your friend. I won’t list all the insults here, I don’t want people to get the wrong idea of what my page is about after all. (lol). 

2. Some other useful words (insults included): 

*******There are SOOOOO many of these. Google is, as always, your friend. But here are some handy ones:

Bugger all/f*ck all: “He’s doing bugger all.” = he’s doing nothing, he’s not doing anything

Bloke: A guy. “Saw a bloke down Diagon Alley.”

Bonkers: Crazy. “McGonagall’s gone bonkers.”

Daft: Stupid/ silly. “Don’t be daft, Seamus.”

To nick: To steal. “Did you nick that pudding from the kitchens?”

Pudding: dessert.

Cheers: What you say when you toast someone, but it can also be the way you sign of an email or a message, or a way to say thank you. Like: “Flitwick’s looking for you, Harry. Something about an assignment you missed.”/“Oh, right. Cheers.”

Chuffed: Happy. “I got nine OWLs, did I tell you? I’m chuffed.”

Brilliant: Amazing. “That was brilliant, Luna.”

Proper/right: really. “I’m right chuffed.” “I’m proper chuffed.”

Bugger(ed/ing) (it) up: to mess up. “I buggered up that first date completely.”

Go on: come on, then/you’re lying/alright dude, nice!. “I got nine OWLs!”/”Go on.”/ “No, I’m serious!”

Have a go: give it a try.

Dodgy/dodge: suspicious/off. “I think that avocado’s gone all rotten, it’s a bit dodgy.”

Mad: crazy.

Manky/mank/rank: dirty/gross. “Take off your shoes, they’re manky as hell!”

Minging: stinky/smelling. Pronounced ming(hard g, rhymes with sing)-ing. “God, you’re minging. Get a shower. Honestly.”

Plastered: drunk. “Forge and I got plastered Friday night. It was wicked.” “Right you are, Gred.”

Wicked: awesome.

Knackered: tired. “I didn’t sleep a wink last night. I’m knackered.”

Can’t be arsed: don’t feel like it. “I should study for Divination, but I really can’t be arsed.”

Bloody: an expletive with a Christian religious tie, I believe. Ronald Weasley said “Bloody hell!” pretty often. It’s not very polite for believers to hear someone say. It’s kind of like saying ‘Holy’ sh*t. Part of the reason why other characters would berate him or shush him all the time when he said it.

Bog/bog roll: bog = toilet. bog roll = toilet paper. 

Loo/loo roll: same thing. loo, toilet. Loo roll, toilet paper. 

Cheeky: cocky/bold/fresh. “Don’t be cheeky with me.” or “You’re a cheeky one!”

Cracking: great.

Crack on: carry on. “Crack on, you lot.”

You lot: you guys.  

Posh: fancy/high end. 

“You alright?/Alright/Alright there?” = a very common greeting. 

“Morning” = good morning

“Yeah/okay” = common response to “Morning/You alright?” for example if you’re walking your dog and you say hi to someone as you walk by them. It’s not like in the USA; generally people don’t talk much to strangers or really say hi to them as much as people do in the States.

Faffing around / faff: mess around/waste time/a waste of time. “Stop faffing with your robes and get a move on.” “I waited all day at Gringotts to speak to a consultant. I was late to dinner. What a faff.”

Muppet: incompetent person, a fool. In an AU I could imagine Draco saying “Goyle, you muppet!”

Gutted: Devastated. “I can’t believe Hufflepuff lost against Ravenclaw again. I’m absolutely gutted.”

Just now: right now, a few minutes ago, seconds ago, right then. “I don’t have time to do that just now.” or “Did you hear that noise just now?”

Do: party. “You going to Slughorn’s do or not?”

Whinging: whining. Pronounced winge (as in singe) -ing. “Oh, stop whinging, Ron.”

Draught: same meaning(s) and pronunciation as draft. So: “She downed the butterbeer in one draught.” “Lupin shut the windows to keep the draught out.”

Dunderhead(s): idiots. 

A tin: a can

Kettle: the thing you use to boil your tea.

Spend a penny: (to go) pee, polite. “Excuse me, I have to spend a penny.”

(To give) a ring: to call someone on the phone. “Give us a ring when you get home, yeah?”

Blockhead(s): also idiots.

Lout: rude way to refer to a guy. “Lazy lout.”

Sod: ditto. “Lazy sod.”

Blimey: wow. “Blimey, ‘Mione.”

Hang around: stay/wait. “Don’t hang around.”

Just a tick: I’ll be there in a minute/wait a minute. 

Taking the piss/mickey: pulling my leg/making fun of me/joking. “Are you taking the piss, mate?”

Mate: dude/bro/bud/buddy/pal.  

Trousers: pants. 

Green man: green light. “Wait for the green man!”

Elevator: lift.

Metro: the tube.

Fuck off: fuck off. 

Flat: apartment.

A fuck-off [insert object]: a huge thing. “Ron, I wouldn’t go into the loos just now, I saw a fuck-off spider. Maybe wait five minutes?”

Boot (of a car): trunk.

Hood (of a car): bonnet

Braces: suspenders. 

Caretaker: janitor

Chemist’s: drugstore/pharmacy

Chips: french fries

Crisps: chips

The cinema: the movies

Constable: patrolman/police officer

Cot: crib

Motorway: highway/freeway

Rubbish/rubbish bin: trash/trashcan. Can also mean “bullshit.” = “That’s rubbish, Tonks.”

Tennis shoes: sneakers

Wellies/wellington boots: calf-height rubber boots for wet weather or gardening

Holiday: vacation/break

(to) Hoover (both a verb and a noun): vaccuum

(to feel/be) ill: sick. “I felt really ill yesterday.”

Lorry: truck

Hob: stovetop/stove.

Pram: Baby carriage

Pullover: sweater

Pavement: sidewalk

Nappy: diaper

(the) post: the mail/mail. “No post on Sundays!”

Pub: a bar. “Want to go down (to) the pub?” 

Petrol: gasoline

Railway: railroad

Sweets: candy. “I don’t like sweets.”

Tap: faucet

Tea-towel: dish towel

Term: semester

Torch: flashlight

Zip/fly: zipper

Windscreen: windshield

Pants/underpants: underwear. “Keep your pants on!”

Fanny: vulva. In the USA ‘fanny’ refers to the derrière. In British English it refers to the vulva. 

Bum: butt. 

Note: this difference ^ is why I think ‘bum bag’ is better than ‘fanny pack.’ The second one leaves way too much room for misinterpretation.

Arse: ass. (Although depending on the region in England/UK, some pronounce it ass. Just depends)

Quid: a pound. “Those trousers cost fifty quid? Are you mad?”

Okay, so those are some handy words for you. Next!

Irish slang:

Grand: great. “That’s grand, Harry.”

 Leg it: move fast. “We’re late to Herbology, leg it!”

Feck/fecker: f*ck/er

Gas: that’s funny. “That’s gas!”

Craic: fun, pronounced “crack”. (this is a difficult term to understand but here goes!) If something is minus craic, it’s the opposite of fun or entertaining. If you’re having the craic, you’re having fun. Someone is good craic if they’ve got a good sense of humor. If you say “What’s the craic?” you’re asking what’s up with something/someone/how they’re doing. 

The messages: the shopping/groceries.

Eejit: idiot. Also used in Scottish slang.

It’s rotten out: bad weather outside

It’s pissing (it) down: it’s raining (a lot!).

Sound: great. “I’m coming over later.” “Oh, sound. See you then.”

You’s: you (singular or plural). 

Scottish slang:

Dinnae: do not.

Ken:  to know. “Dinnae ken.”

Aye: yes. 

Wee: small. 

Bonnie: pretty. (mostly heard in songs.)

Braw: handsome. (mostly in songs). 

Scran: food

Dram: a bit/a shot, i.e., of whiskey. 

Mingin’/minging: not good/dirty/smelly/etc. 

Nippy: cold. “It’s nippy out.”

Scunnered: tired

Jobbie: the thing. (**WARNING: this also means sh*t, so use wisely and in a very particular context [thank you @ill-informed-donor for the reminder!]). Example of the first definition: “Pass me that jobbie, will you?”

Edit: I won’t go into the more stereotypical Scottish phrases (“mad wae it,” “dinna fash”) because there are a few that have mostly been made famous by Outlander, but they’re not really used that often by Scottish people (that I know of) and I live with a Scotsman who’d yell at me if I started saying that it’s a good idea to use those phrases in casual speech for your characters. Also there’s a huge difference between Glaswegian slang and other regions of Scottish slang. So… yeah. Just be careful of where the stereotypes are. 

Edit: if anyone knows Welsh slang or even Australian and New Zealand slang (the latter two are their own separate entities, I know, but still English and still handy to know the differences!), just reblog and add your list!

SPELLING!!!!!!!!!!

1. Hugely important: colour, not color. favour/flavour, not favor/flavor. Check the British/UK spellings of words. 

British Christmas traditions (for those of you who observe it or are writing about it in your fanfictions):

1. People often dress up on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day.

2. The 26th is Boxing Day. (Google it). 

3. Christmas crackers. They’re mentioned in the books. 

4. Going to Christmas Eve midnight mass, or watching the Christmas Eve mass broadcast. 

5. Listening to Christmas carols/songs. (King Wenceslas for example).

6. Panto/pantomime. 

7. Christmas pudding (usually covered with alcohol and then set on fire. It’s très dramatique) and mince pies. 

8. Watching the Queen’s broadcast/speech.

Scottish traditions (because McGonagall):

1. Burns Night. (Google it). 

2. New Years’ Eve in Scotland is called Hogmanay.

3. McGonagall was born in Caithness in 1935. She may have grown up around Scots Gaelic speakers. If you’re looking to use Gaelic in your fanfiction, I recommend doing your research first. Or just message me/send me an ask. :)

4. Céilidh(s). (Pronounced caylee/caylees). These exist in Ireland too. They’re like parties where everyone gets together to dance, or sing, or read poetry, but generally it’s like an assembly for Scottish/Irish jigs and dances. 

5. Bagpipes,  called ‘the pipes.’ A person who plays the bagpipes is a ‘piper.’ Also, they have pipes in Ireland, just not the same ones as in Scotland. 

6. Highland dancing. 

Not sure about Irish/Welsh Christmas traditions. Feel free to add/contribute.

Edit: I just remembered another three very important categories!

Cockney Rhyming Slang

This is too hard to explain, I’d recommend you Google it though, it’s everywhere in British vernacular. 

But as an example - "face” would be replaced by “boat,” because face rhymes with “boat race.” Similarly “feet” becomes “plates” (“plates of meat”), and “money” is “bread” (a very common usage, from “bread and honey”). Apples and pears = stairs, and so on and so forth. 

These are officially accepted rhymes in the slang vernacular by the way so you can’t just make these up. 

A “porkie pie” is a lie. I had a British person tell me the other day “You’re telling me a porkie/telling me porkies.” It’s a thing. Just google it before you use it and try to make sure you’re using it in the right context. 

“Old-School” British English

There are people who grow up in particular “upper” class families, or old fashioned families in the British-English UK, who have retained old ways of speaking, and a particular accent inspired by the Royal Family. If you watch The Crown and you hear the actors’ accents, there are some people today who still speak like that in the UK. 

Some classic phrases I’ve heard being said by an Old-School British (in his seventies) man:

Good grief: my goodness/can you believe that?/oh no!/look at that. “Good grief, look at that.” (He was looking at a huge fallen tree). 

Don’t you know: know what I mean. “I really don’t care all that much for Christmas, it’s all so very consumerist, don’t you know.”

Edit: There’s also a very particular way that these people say “Oh” and “Hello”, as well. It sounds more like “Ay” and “hellay.” It’s an old accent of British English probably passed down from their grandparent and great grandparent. Some people think it’s a stereotype but you genuinely do encounter people who might come across as though they’re uptight or putting on an act, but it’s literally just their voice. 

Regional English accents

There is not one single “British” accent. There are many many regions, and there are rivalries between regions. Emma Watson’s Hermione uses an RP accent (Received Pronunciation, also Google it), and so does Daniel’s Harry. Dame Smith does a solid Northern Scottish accent, but it’s also a pretty ‘posh’ accent - this mostly refers to the difference in Scottish city accents, and some regions are considered more ‘posh’ than others (it’s a rivalry between accents for sure). Edit: Alan Rickman’s Snape definitely leans towards RP english, parents were Welsh and Irish, so he was influenced by that, but I’d argue that his voice is largely RP/London, influenced by his time at RADA and growing up in London. 

More on regional differences: There is a huge difference, for example, between London British and Manchester British. The accent in the Yorskhire Dales is absolutely fantastic. It’s beautiful. Some of these accents have remained the same for hundreds of years. There’s so much diversity in accents alone - Google it and have a listen. 

Right, that’s all I’ve got for now. More to come at a later date, might update as I think of these! Feel free to contribute to the list. 

So if you’re writing Snape fiction, or any HP fiction in any ship, and it’s set in Scotland/England/UK, bear in mind that the words you use will give away where you’re from as an author. If you’re a stickler for authenticity, then this might help you. If you don’t care about this sort of thing, then carry on. 

Edit: you can always Google “British vs American English” if you want a better list of key differences.