𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝

I love you, Pipe. Grapefruit.

I want to talk about Nathan Prescott and suicidality. Not in the narrow sense of whether he explicitly wanted to die, but in the broader psychological sense of what happens when someone begins to accept their own end.

We all know that Nathan dies at the hands of Mr. Jefferson. On a literal level, he is murdered. But the question worth asking is not only how or why he killed him - it is what state of mind Nathan was in when he knew Jefferson was coming.

When someone dies by another person’s hand, we tend to focus on culpability. Who pulled the trigger? Why? Who is guilty? But in cases like this one, another question lingers: did the person who died meaningfully try to survive?

When we think of suicide, we often imagine direct, self-inflicted acts: overdosing, hanging, a gunshot. But suicidality does not always take such visible forms. Sometimes it appears as a passive death wish, like person who no longer cares whether they wake up. Or "forgetting" to take their vital medication. It can also manifest as escalating reckless behavior coupled with indifference to consequences, or refusing help when it is clearly needed.

In these cases, the person does not actively end their life. Instead, they resist trying to preserve it.

So, why did Nathan die?

Or better yet, why did he let himself die?

The simplest interpretation of the sequence of events, based on how Jefferson recounts it, is that Nathan panicked, tried to escape the consequences of his actions, and was killed against his will.

Yet the voicemail Nathan leaves Max complicates that understanding.

If Nathan knew Jefferson was coming for him, why didn’t he try to run away? Was he really so paralyzed by fear that he couldn't?

Or maybe, had he already begun to accept what it would mean for Jefferson to find him?

To explore this, I’ll examine the English and Japanese versions of his final message, where subtle differences shed light on his psychological state.

The Voicemail (English)

"Max, it's... it's Nathan. I just wanted to say... I'm sorry. I didn't want to hurt Kate, or Rachel, or... I didn't want to hurt anybody. Everybody... used me! Mr. Jefferson is coming for me now. All this shit will be over soon. Watch out, Max... He wants to hurt you next. Sorry."

It is clear that Nathan feels guilt and shame. He apologizes and warns Max. While there are hints of his resignation, the Japanese version uses clearer language that hints at this message more explicitly being his "last words".

The Voicemail (Japanese)

Translated directly, the Japanese version reads:

"Max... it's... Nathan. In my final moments, I just wanted to tell you this... I... didn't want to hurt Rachel, or Kate, or anybody. I was being used by everybody. Please forgive me. Mr. Jefferson is coming for me now... it's the end for me. Max, you're next. Be careful. I'm sorry for everything I did..."

Several differences stand out.

1. "I just wanted to say I'm sorry" vs. "In my final moments..."

In English, the line sounds urgent but open-ended. In Japanese, the phrase explicitly frames the voicemail as his final words. "最後に" (saigo ni), In the end, "これだけは伝えたくて" (kore dake wa tsutaetakute), I just wanted to tell you this...

Nathan is speaking not as someone who hopes to be heard again. That alone suggests a striking absence of self-preservation.

2. "All this shit will be over soon." vs. "It's the end for me now."

In English, “All this shit will be over soon” is ambiguous. While the self-loathing is obvious in his tone, what is "all this shit" referring to? Jefferson’s crimes? His own suffering? His participation?

But consider the circumstances: Nathan has not reported Jefferson to the police. There is no indication that he has set in motion any plan that would bring this all to justice. If something is about to be “over,” the most immediate and likely candidate is his own life.

The Japanese line clarifies the ambiguity. “もうおしまいだよ” (mou oshimaidayo) states plainly: It’s over (for me) now. The phrasing places the finality squarely on himself. The particle よ adds emphasis, almost as if he is stating an obvious truth: "You understand this, right, Max? It’s over for me."

3. "Sorry." vs. "I'm sorry for everything I did..."

In the English version, “Sorry” is brief and open-ended. In Japanese, however, the apology is explicitly past tense. He says “すまなかった” (sumanakatta) — “I’m sorry for what I did” — rather than “すまない” (sumanai), which would imply a present, ongoing apology.

Both are valid grammatical choices. But the past tense version carries weight, framing his wrongdoing as something already concluded. It does not read like an apology followed by an intention to keep living and atoning. It feels more like a closing statement; like this is an acknowledgment of actions he believes are finished, because he believes he is finished.

Fear or Surrender?

Nathan does not pull the trigger. Jefferson does.

It is possible that the voicemail is nothing more than fear — that he was a frightened, guilty boy trying to salvage some fragment of himself before consequences arrive. Anyone hunted by someone like Jefferson, knowing the crimes they participated in, would sound desperate.

But desperation usually strains toward survival.

By the time Nathan leaves that message, he does not sound like someone searching for a way out; he sounds like someone who believes he doesn't deserve one.

Recognizing this does not absolve him of everything he did. But culpability and self-destruction can coexist.

What Happened Before the Gunshot

If Nathan’s final words carry the weight of resignation, then they also cast earlier moments in a different light. The way he snaps in the diner that Max is only pretending to care about him when she asked about his father. The volatility described in his student report — violence followed by intense remorse and guilt. These look less like isolated incidents, and more like warning signs.

Viewed through this lens, his voicemail is not an abrupt shift but a culmination. A trajectory of neglect, untreated instability, unchecked manipulation, and escalating guilt that narrows into finality.

Thank you so much !! 💕🫡 I can't wait to see these two disasters on screen !

some of them are questionable — take chloe, warren, victoria’s friends. even max to an extent. some of them plain suck — take nathan and victoria herself. some of them are plain good, like kate.

but they’re all teenagers, fresh into adulthood and figuring it out as they go, and some of them are doing good and some of them fuck it up bad.

especially victoria and nathan. victoria is bitchy and downright cruel at times, but she’s not heartless, and she does show remorse (even if it’s too little too late.) nathan is.. a lot, i could talk about him for hours (and have), but his character boils down to a freshly 18 year old who was repeatedly abused and did some very, very bad things as a result.

none of them are evil. we see as much in the alternate universe. they’re full humans, of course, and they’re flawed and some of them have done bad things, but they’re all just a bunch of high schoolers.

everything, and i mean everything bad that happened was due to the adults — jefferson, frank, wells, david, mr. amber, frank, damon, so on and so forth. people approach this story with frustratingly little nuance, and i suppose i understand because most of us are the same age as the protagonists (or younger).