I have one brain cell

cool fuckin rainbow text tutorial or whatever

ok tumblr decided to make this a feature for some reason and ppl seem to use it fine on ios but im a primarily desktop bitch so heres how to do this shit on desktop the convoluted and stupid way.

when u go to make a new post, click on the cogwheel and change the text editor from rich text to HTML like this:

so far there are 7 different colours u can use: Red, Orange, Yellow, Green, Blue, Purple, and Pink

the span tag for the colours are in this box here:

<span class="npf_color_joey">this is red</span> <span class="npf_color_monica">this is orange</span> <span class="npf_color_phoebe">this is yellow</span> <span class="npf_color_ross">this is green</span> <span class="npf_color_rachel">this is blue</span> <span class="npf_color_chandler">this is purple</span> <span class="npf_color_niles">this is pink</span>

copy the tag for the colour you want, paste it into your HTML editor, and add your text in between the angle brackets where it says “this is (text colour)”

since this is HTML, you might want to write your post first and then change the text editor to HTML. otherwise, you will have to format your post in HTML, like this:

when posted, it looks like this:

<p></p> indicates a paragraph, <br> is a line break. otherwise, your text will be in one big chunk.

example:

also, if you put a <p> block before the <span> blocks, you can use the npf_quote, npf_chat, and npf_quirky classes in conjunction with the colors by putting it inside the <p>! this includes the class tag colors! example: <p class=“npf_quirky”><span class=“npf_color_niles”>test

test

i must make…

b e a d l i z a r d

B…

AND with a little practice, you can even make them 3D shaped (especially with the smaller beads and wire, though you can make them with the bigger beads and string, to an extent) 

Authors Note: i’m thinking I might make this a series, like at the beginning of every season just something similar to this 👀 sorry I haven’t written much lately! school’s taking up pretty much all my time nowadays– anywhosie, enjoy! [ also s p o i l e r s] (oh btw this is gonna take place after mc leaves devildom for the summer, before they come back to devildom) lmk if yall want pt 2 with the other characters

Warnings: fluff, bruh absolute just fluff everywhere like so much, mb a lil bit of angst but that’s what all my writing is like so hehe

—————-

Lucifer

- i feel like lucifer would’ve visited you in the human realm before

- like probably sometime over the summer, but he hadn’t seen you in a while and he was starting to miss his favorite human :(

- not like he’d ever admit to that

- i don’t think luci would really be the type to wait until you summoned him for something, if he wants to make sure you’re okay, he’s gonna come see you lmao

- anyways

- lucifer had been staring out the window for quite a while- he had been doing paperwork, but somehow even when you were in a different realm, you managed to disrupt his work

- he chuckled to himself at that thought, then sighed

- you had been rather difficult to focus around, always getting yourself into trouble

- luci couldn’t catch a break when you went to RAD

- he missed you

- a lot

- lucifer glanced back at his desk, where he had been working just moments before

- his eyes landed on an unsigned piece of paper that had your name on it

- you could come back home if he got you to sign it

- in truth, lucifer hadn’t really thought about finding a way to get you back to devildom. he certainly missed you, but the idea that he could actually arrange your return just hadn’t hit him yet

- until three days prior, the sheet with your name on it appeared on his desk

- lucifer had a sneaking suspicion who put it there

- it was diavolo let’s be real

- the real mystery was why lucifer hadn’t gone to bring your the permission slip already

- he had waited- it had been three days, and he couldn’t make up his mind if he wanted to go give it to you

- lucifer didn’t want to put you in the position of having to choose between your life in the human realm or your life in devildom

- but he missed you

- and so, luci checked his watch to make sure it wasn’t three in the morning, then grabbed the permission slip before making his way outside 

- it would be okay to be selfish, just this once, right?

- lucifer arrived at your home at four in the afternoon, you weren’t there

- so he found a way to open the door, bruv you hid the key under the doormat he didn’t really have a hard time lmao 

- you walked into your bedroom at nearly quarter past four, and immediately flopped onto your bed

- you didn’t even notice that lucifer was watching from your desk in the corner of your room

- he walked over to you, and stared at you

- bro he literally didn’t say anything, he just waited ahaha thats not creepy

- lucifer crossed his arms over his chest and you finally looked up 

- your eyes locked and you quietly asked, “luci?”

- lucifer narrowed his gaze at you and answered you with an, “mhm?”

- and then you freaked out, because honestly you half thought you were hallucinating or something, you jumped up to give lucifer a hug

- don’t get me wrong here, i have the intense feeling that lucifer doesn’t like hugs, but i also have the intense feeling that you and the occasional brother are the exception to that rule

- so

- when you clasped your arms around him, luci barely hesitated in returning the gesture

- he pulled you close, like he never wanted to let go again

- you eventually pulled back to ask why he had come to visit you

- it wasn’t like he didn’t visit often, just usually he had a reason to, even if it was just because he wanted to check up on you

- oh and all that nerve luci had about being selfish for once in his lifetime, yeah that was gone XD

- so your question kinda caught him off guard, like it just seemed like he forgot because for a hot sec he was just staring at you like, ‘uh huh im sorry what was that?’

- then when he didn’t answer, you took the lead

- “do you wanna go to the fall festival with me?”, you asked, a bright grin spreading across your face

- and obviously luci knew what a fall festival was, he just didn’t really see your request coming

- but i mean he nodded so lmao

- pretty soon y’all were walking down the street, stopping at random carts at the festival to look at autumn themed stuff

- luci didn’t have human money, so every time he showed a vague interest in something and you offered to buy it for him, he would start squabbling about not wanting you to spend your money and blah blah

- you’d wait until he started walking away from the cart and then buy it for him anyways ;)

- somehow along the way, lucifer suggested you guys hold hands to stay together in the crowd uh huh yeah right lmao

- it was nearing the end of the festival when you remembered there was a park down the street, so you turned to luci and asked, “mind if i show you something?”

- he agreed and you guys started walking down the street, and lemme say the park kinda blew lucifer’s mind

- he was aware that leaves on trees changed colors depending on the season, but he wasn’t expecting how beautiful they were 

- yellows, and oranges, some red, here and there

- and then he turned to look at you

- right at home, where you belonged

- wearing a shirt luci was pretty sure you stole from him, sipping warm apple cider

- the most beautiful thing in that entire park was you, he was sure of it

- lucifer felt the permission slip crinkle in his pocket, and he made up his mind about showing it to you

- he wasn’t going to

- “lucifer, are you okay?”, you sounded concerned, and you brought the hand that had been holding his own to brush a piece of his hair out of his face

- lucifer smiled at you, really smiled, and then replied, “yes, my dear, i’m quite all right”

Mammon

- ok so u guys remember when about two minutes ago i said lucifer wasn’t the type of wait until you summoned him

-well let’s give mammon some credit where it’s due

- he triedd to wait until you summoned him

- bb is many things but he is not patient XD

- ok lets get into it

- mammon was lying on his bed, staring at the ceiling

- he wasn’t really thinking about anything?? but he had been sitting there for like an hour lmao

- asmo and satan were standing in the doorway like, ‘is he okay? does he need a doctor?’

- since usually when people think of mammon they do not think, ah yes his normal activity of… doing nothing?

- then out of nowhere, mammon sat up and his brothers quickly fled the scene to avoid being caught lmao

- mammon got a big grin on his face, and he strut out of his room to go bother you

- he had gotten into the habit of going to find you whenever he was bored or lonely

- he arrived at your bedroom, and just before his fist hit the door to knock, he realized that you weren’t in there

- that you weren’t even in devildom

- mammon barely hesitated before spinning on his heel and heading to lucifer’s office

- he wasn’t even really conscious of what he was doing, but mammon knew why he was about to go ask to visit you

- he needed you, more than he ever truly realized

- when you arrived at your apartment that afternoon, you were greeted by your landlord in the lobby, he informed you that there was a strange man sitting outside of your apartment, who was insisting that he needed to see you

- you practically dropped the grocery bag you were holding, and nodded to your landlord, thanked him, and then began sprinting towards your apartment

- mammon was sitting in front of your door, staring down at his hands, he didn’t even notice that you had walked up to him

- you immediately noticed something was off with mammon, so you dropped to your knees to bring him into a hug, “what’s wrong?”

- he smiled to himself as he wrapped his arms around you, “nothing”, now that you were with him

- after you both relished in being reunited, you hopped up and grinned at him, “you’ve got perfect timing!”

- you went to unlock your apartment door, and pointed at the grocery bag that you had abandoned on the floor- it was full of apples

- mammon stood and picked up the bag for you, “apples?”, he questioned, he wasn’t really familiar with human cuisine but it seemed a little bit strange to just buy a massive bag of apples

- “i’m gonna make desert!”, you opened the door and walked into your apartment, then closed the door behind mammon, “and you’re gonna help me”

- the smile you gave him made his heart melt

- he had missed you so much

- “pfffff, why would i do that?”, mammon’s cheeks were flushed red, he crossed his arms and looked away from you, trying to hide his embarrassment 

- you were grabbing something out of your cabinet, it looked like sugar, “because”, you smiled at him 

- “what kind of reason is that-”

- he helped you make the apple pie lmao

- mammon lifted a bite of the apple pie up to his face to look at it, “what even is this?” 

- he wasn’t asking in a mean way, he just genuinely didn’t know what he was looking at lol

- “just try it! i promise you’ll like it!”, you told him from the kitchen, you were putting away ingredients

- mammon huffed, and you gave him an offer he couldn’t refuse

- “if you try it, i’ll give you a present”, he immediately tried the dessert

- greedy boi

- mammon thought it was delicious, but he wasn’t about to tell you that, “i guess it’s alright, now you’re gonna gimme something?” 

- you nodded and walked over to where he was sitting, “hey, what’re ya doin’?”, you gave him a peck on the cheek

- mammon fell silent for a second, and then his face burst into flames as he watched you grin and return to putting things away

- and honestly that was the best gift you could’ve given him

Belphie

- ok so im sorry but belphie is definitely the type of demon to wait for you to summon him

- i don’t make the rules XD

- he is tired boy, and while he may love and care about you a lot, going to the human realm takes a lotttttttt of energy lmao

- like he has to walk allllllll the way to lucifer’s office and ugh just like no too much work

- so anyways lmao

- you hadn’t really planned on summoning bel at all

- you were lying in bed, a lazy morning like so many you had shared together

- this one was more beautiful than any you had ever experienced before

- the leaves were changing colors just outside your window, the sunlight of a late morning breaching your bedroom through the leaves, and hitting your face

- the weather had gotten colder recently, so you had added more blankets to your bed to accommodate

- or maybe you were trying to make up for the loss of your cuddle buddy

- either way, you were wrapped securely in blankets

- and everything seemed perfect

- except you were missing the best part of sleeping in, of staying in bed until the early afternoon

- you were missing your best friend

- so you decided to change that

- you barely had to think about how to summon him, one second, he wasn’t there, and the next, belphie was lying on top of you

- he was sleeping, as usual

- bel clutched you tight in his sleep, mumbling something about missing you under his breath

- he was dreaming about you

- because as little energy he had to go visit, that didn’t mean that belphie didn’t miss you

- in fact, nearly every day since you left devildom, bel had complained to beel about how cold his bed was

- bel had trouble sleeping for a while after you left, unbelievable, but true

- he had grown so accustomed to falling asleep every night to the sound of your breath, your scent, your warmth

- belphie opened his eyes mid afternoon, he realized why he had been sleeping so soundly when he glanced down to see who he was hugging

- your eyes were closed and he assumed you were asleep

- bel sighed blissfully and hugged you tighter, pressing a kiss to your head

- “i missed you”, he mumbled into your hair

Belphie: Finally.

“ Lets see. I suppose there’s always his first bath. For some reason. Even though normally he can agree with himself. That day he decided that each head would disagree on what to do. The head on the right wanted a bath. The one in the middle wanted a nap. And the one on the left decided it was terrified of water at that exact moment. Eventually, I ended up being pulled into the water with him.  For some time, Cerberus only took baths if I was in the bath with him.”

Kid!Satan:

Kid!Satan: The audacity.

Part One

——————

You’ve been removed from the House of Lamentations...for a week. None of the brothers could argue, really.

Beelzebub feels kinda bad. If you were already cautious of them before you must have been terrified now. Being around angels and a fellow human would do some good but Beel has to resist coming over. The cookies you left are divine after all, so sweet and rich with the Celestial Realm ingredients. But when you return he should ask you why they seem to leave such a bitter taste in his mouth, maybe you fouled up with a measurement or two? Still, he eats them, getting crumbs all over the bandages that wrap around his thigh and right arm.

Satan will let Mammon off just this once. His missing tome was returned by you just a few hours ago, thwarting Mammon’s scheme and while he’s glad it’s back, it irritates him. The very sight of it makes him want to tear it apart and burn it. The soreness from last night’s scuffle doesn’t help his vexation any. Neither does the random drop of blood staining a couple of pages. Human blood, he notes but he feels no guilt. It’s not like he was the one that accidentally hit you last night. Besides, it’ll teach you to get involved in disputes between them. Though he will admit, going into his demon form over it may have been an exaggeration.

Asmodeus frowns at the silver spike earring he receives in the mail. It looks a lot like yours, which was why he ordered it. Except it’s a little less intricate and it didn’t quite shine the way yours does. But that‘s beside the point. Really? He just didn’t like it anymore. He didn’t like looking at it, trying it and though it likely still looks good, he didn’t like it on you, especially. Oh he always knew it looked dangerous but that was part of the charm! Now though, after recalling you accidentally cut yourself, the charm might’ve been a little dead.

Leviathan curses when he sees he didn’t save at an important point in Ruri-chan Adventures: High School Days. Impossible! He always saves so he can go back to all the cute, awesome things Ruri-chan said! And yet, there’s a gap between crucial scenes anyway. Ugh, it was all because of that stupid argument last night. He never would’ve thought they’d get him so riled up, he’d actually transform and join the fight over it, over...whatever it had been. And now the cuts on his arms sting when they come in contact with his jacket sleeves, ichor staining the inside lining. Just, ugh, this is the pits.

Mammon is still nursing a headache. He can’t remember whatever it is they got mad at him for last night, but did they really have to hit him so hard he passed out!? A little excessive, geez. At least today they’re nice to him...almost too nice. Ah shit, was he being blamed for last night? Is that why he’s been replaced as your watchdog? Were they buttering him up so they were going to punish him?! Nah! It couldn’t be, Lucifer would’ve done it already and Lucifer hasn’t left his room since yesterday.

Sitting in his bed with his pink tinged skin slathered in some remedy Barbatos whipped up, Lucifer can’t help but feel ridiculous. What was Diavolo thinking? Playing around with Holy Oil like that? Yes it had no effect on demons but Lucifer and his brothers weren’t always demons. It couldn’t be used to trap them like it used to but it could still incapacitate them. It had been so painful, he could hardly remember what happened afterwards but apparently his brothers got into a fight over something trivial and you got caught in the middle. He’d have to apologize to you later.

Regardless when he’d woken up, Diavolo was telling him (forcing him) to take the day off. He’d apologized only once but profusely, his ever-jovial smile faltering. Lucifer insisted he forgives him, it was an accident after all. Diavolo goes right back to smiling after that and tells him his duty of watching over you has been handed over to someone else for the week. Just until you’ve calmed down.

Luke is so miffed about what happened! He knew those demons would lose control and try to hurt you! Luke is ecstatic to have you in Purgatory Hall, of course. You recreated his cookies perfectly the other day and your knack for picking up recipes is amazing. Well, most recipes, your devildom dishes always end up...catastrophic. Maybe it was because of your basically being abducted here that made you so uncomfortable with anything devildom related. Still, he loves your company.

Simeon is, of course, delighted to have you. Even as low spirited as you seemed when you came in this morning. You presence has always given him a sense of tranquility and familiarity, as though you’re an old friend. And so he treats you as such, even if you seemed down at first, he catches you smiling every once in a while to yourself, twirling your angel relic earring as if remembering something fond by it. He just wishes you’d warm up to Solomon too.

Given the chance, you’d warm up. So warm, in fact, you could set him on fucking fire and collect the ashes so you could burn that too.

“f you keep being so quiet, I’m going to start getting suspicious”

You scowl at the bathroom door. Your newly appointed warden is waiting outside in your temporary room for you to be done. “Oh I’m sorry, did you want me to narrate everything I’m doing or are you just being a prick?”

“MC-“

“Second one, got it.”

You step out from beneath the shower, turning the valve in quick, jerky movements. They squeak as the water stops and it seems to satisfy Solomon for now. As you dry yourself off, out of the corner of your eye, you catch a glimpse of yourself in the mirror above the sink. You scowl at the chains of light wrapping around your chest and arms that shine the same pale gold as Solomon’s ring of power. If you could see the back of your head, you’re sure the bruised lump on it would bare his mark too. Or that of his baseball bat.

Why does he even have that?

“Mc?”

You secure the towel around yourself. “Shut up. I’m coming out.”

You’ve effectively piqued Solomon’s interest. When he was told another human would be attending RAD, he hadn’t expected much. But here you are, standing before him as the could’ve-been slayer of the Avatars of the Seven Sins. But realistically speaking you probably could’ve only taken three of them on with what you tried. But three would be enough, after all; you incapacitated the two most powerful demons of the House, cut up the third, held off the most aggressive and injured the strongest. Other than the cut you did yourself on your palm and his own hit to the back of your head, there isn’t a scratch on you.

A demon slayer. He had so many questions that he couldn’t ask you last night in front of Diavolo and Barbatos who definitely knew something but refused to speak on it. How did you discover your powers? Did you know it couldn’t just be human magic? Why do you hate demons and the devildom so much? What is the Left Hand?

He settles on one, “What exactly was your plan?” his back to you, as you changed into sleepwear. The rustle of fabric stops for a second. He elaborates, even if you had fought the other brothers off or maybe escaped while your modified devil’s trap kept them locked in the House. Where would you go? What would you do? How would you go home, if that was your goal at all? You answer him with a question of your own. “Why’d you knock me the fuck out, why save them?”

Quid pro quo. There’s a door in the human world, in Wyoming, USA, that opened to hell and reading Satan’s book you found out it opened to this circle of hell. No one had opened that door since 2007 but you knew how. All it would take from this side was one sacrifice. You look Solomon dead in the eye as you say it and he laughs.

His laugh is as infuriating as his answer. “The semester’s just begun MC, would be a shame to end it so early with a sudden war, eh?” Besides, he tells you, things get a lot more interesting for him this way.

You nearly throttle him right then and there. Instead, you settle for sleeping last night off, the soft glow and hum of Solomon’s magic lulling you to sleep and locking you in your room. War he’d said and you decided, plans can wait till you’ve had some rest.

Barbatos would be lying if he said the current conversation didn’t interest him almost as much as serving tonight’s tea did but not quite. But who could blame him? It is an excellent blend and Solomon is an excellent guest. He would have been more comfortable serving at the palace but the House of Lamentations was suitable enough to host. Besides, he shares Lord Diavolo’s wish to stay close to Lucifer while he heals.

“Still feeling a bit drained?” Diavolo asks as Barbatos sets a down a plate of holyberry muffins on the coffee table of Lucifer’s office.

Solomon smiles, expressing his thanks before picking up his cup. “Just a bit. But not to worry,” he says savoring the tea’s rich minty aftertaste. It banishes the chill from his bones in a way even Lucifer’s roaring fireplace can’t. “I had enough strength left in me to bind MC to their room at Purgatory.”

“Impressive. Especially after having to cast a memory spell so powerful just a few hour prior.” Diavolo compliments but he says it as if he’s making an observation about the weather. Not that he has to compliment Solomon at all, but from what he has gleaned in his short time in the exchange program, Diavolo is not one to be so lukewarm.

“So, what’s the big secret? If you’ll allow me to be so bold Lord Diavolo,” Solomon says, smiling still. He puts down his cup, turning to face the demon-prince head on. “I don’t very much like being in the dark with matters I become involved in.”

Diavolo sighs. No pleasantries will delay the conversation any further, it seems. “A Nephilim Legacy,” he says, finishing his fist cup. Barbatos is there in an instant to refill it but all Diavolo can spare is a nod in thanks. “That’s what MC is. I know that’s your biggest question. As for your next one, yes I knew when I chose for the program.”

“Of course, so much power and it was so familiar.” Solomon grabs his chin, thinking back to the flashes of light, Celestial light in the devildom’s sky. Then there was cutting off the power, something that couldnt be achieved by just shutting down a generator, not when all generators ran on magic and could only be disrupted by magic. But that wasn’t all, you had undone room enchantments, broken curses on the doors labelled off limits for you. Finally, there was the main doors of the House of Lamentations. The seal was no mere devil’s trap, the likes of which wouldn’t have worked on six demons who had once been fallen angels. It powerful spell, one that should have drained any human of their strength to not only cast but also maintain.

But then there was the seal itself and the tattoos covering most of your skin.

“The Left Hand.”

Solomon’s musings are cut short. Diavolo has finished half of Barbatos’ brew but keeps drinking. “The seal and the marks? It’s been hundreds of years but I would recognize those anywhere. They’re of the Left Hand. An order of hunters and demon slayers who protect the human world.”

“I thought that was a myth. A lie to cover up Gabriel’s fall?” Solomon frowns, such information being unknown to him, twisting his insides.

“The lie, is that Gabriel fell at all.” Diavolo finally sets down the cup rubbing one of his temples. “Towards the end of my father’s reign, he let some demons run rampant. Gabriel was sent to earth in human form, to send them back here. But it didn’t end with him, his children and their children formed the Left Hand. Part of the reason why my father’s still in slumber is he’s recovering from a great war he once had with them. It was declared a draw, when the Celestials interfered, siding with the humans. The treaties were drawn, and they’ve been protecting the human world for centuries since then.”

“And you brought one here.”

“I didn’t know that I did.”

Solomon raises a brow. “You knew about the Legacy but not about the affiliation to the Left Hand? How does that elude you of all demons?”

Diavolo’s hand on his armrest clenches and for a moment, Solomon fears he’s overstepped but Diavolo takes one breath and his body relaxes.

“Solomon, what I’m about to tell you? No one can know, not yet.”

Outside the office, Belphegor’s knuckles drain white as he grips his pillow. Diavolo has brought a demon slayer to their House. One that threatened and hurt his brothers. The damned Prince didn’t listen, no one listened when he swore humans were nothing but vermin. He doesn’t stay for the rest of whatever they talk about, turning to stalk off down the hall to the foyer.

If Diavolo won’t deal with this. Then he will.

To Be Continued...

———————————————

@vicardi-the-fool @poppy-pom @aspenflower17 @game-lover-yess @sibit360 @siana-loves-you

Comment if you wanna be tagged for the next ones, I think this might become a whole ass series.

Mammon: *Staring at Levis body pillow*

Levi: What?

Mammon: I dunno how you 'use' those things..So weird.

Levi: Shut up Mammon, Actually, Say for example you had a body pillow, but the picture was MC? How about that?

Mammon: Oh i'd be humpin' that shit EVERY night..

Levi: Yeah exa-

Mammon: I'd be bustin' PHAT nuts ALL over that fuckin shit.

Levi: Yeah s-

Mammon: I'd be glazing that shit like a fuckin krispy kreme doughnut ya feel me?

Levi: Ok Mammon! Jeez.

Sitting on MC’s bed, her and Asmo were up to their usual nonsense as they sipped wine together. Playing a risqué card game, they took it in turns to read the dares off them.

Most of the household were out. Only Lucifer and Diavolo were downstairs but they always worked until late; Asmo and MC thought that their wine sippin’ and bitchin’ session wouldn’t disturb them.

Reaching out to the stack of cards, MC pulled one off the top before reading it. “Oh my god!” She scoffed playfully at it. “This game is ridiculous.”

“What?” Asmo grinned, snatching the card out of MC’s dainty fingers; staring at it with wide eyes. “Oh come on, this isn’t even that bad! You’ve done worse.”

“It says I have to pretend to have an orgasm!” MC laughed.

“Not just that, I’ve got to tell you who’s making you orgasm and you’ve got to moan their name.” Asmo spoke, absolutely delighted. “And I know exactly who I’m picking!”

“Who?” MC asked worried.

“Diavolo.” He grinned menacingly. “In other words your crush.”

“Diavolo?! I hate you so much.” MC smiled, shaking her head. “And I do not have a crush on him!”

“Oh please I’ve seen the way you look at him, MC.” Asmo stated, sipping his wine.

“That’s not true!” MC whined in defence.

“If it’s not true then you’d do the dare.” Asmo simpered.

“Fine!” MC breathed, placing her wine glass down on the nearby chest of drawers. “But don’t blame me when you get turned on by this.”

“Can’t promise anything!” Asmo beamed.

“Okay.” MC mentally prepared herself.

Closing her eyes, she parted her lips before pure filth escaped them.

“Uh!” She moaned, rolling her hips slightly as she got into it, “oh, baby!”

Asmo’s face was an absolute picture as he watched MC. However, his focus soon diverted when a shadow was cast upon him. Glancing up, he was shocked to see Lucifer and Diavolo stood in the doorway behind MC. He blushed slightly as a mischievous grin appeared on his face.

Lucifer went to speak but was soon interrupted by MC.

“Oh that feels so good!” She moaned wondrously, “uh...uh...UH! Uh, Diavolo! Right there!”

Her voice was high pitched and airy. All colour drained from Lucifer’s face as he quickly turned to Diavolo; completely mortified by what he was witnessing.

However, the demon lord seemed to be absolutely relishing the sight before him. A devious smirk was obvious on his face as he tilted his head, folded his arms and leant against the doorframe.

“Mmm...fuck me, Diavolo!” MC continued, completely oblivious as her eyes remained closed. Getting into her acting and being slightly tipsy, MC leant back on the bed as a hand slowly trailed up her front before clutching a breast in her hand. “Uh, I’m close.”

Lucifer’s eyebrows were knitted as he didn’t know whether to be aroused or completely livid with MC’s behaviour.

Practically panting, MC threw her head back. “Mm, FUCK! Diavolo, AH!”

Letting a long, drawn out cry, MC hit her ‘climax’.

Breathing heavily, she slowly opened her eyes as she smiled sweetly at Asmo. “Convincing enough for you?”

“I certainly thought it was good.” He nodded with a cheeky grin, “But maybe you should ask Diavolo what he thought.”

“What?” MC questioned as her face fell.

As Asmo’s eyes glanced over her shoulder, fear riddled MC’s heart. Slowly turning around, she was horrified to see the two colossal demons standing at the door.

Lucifer had the sternest look on his face that she’d ever seen. His arms were crossed over his chest and she could practically feel the anger that radiated off him.

Diavolo, however, was the opposite. MC was hugely surprised to see him already grinning at her, flashing his pointy teeth as he shook his head with a small blush.

Lucifer grips your chin. Tips your head back just so, until it just slightly aches and your neck is laid bare to him. “Perhaps I’ve been too kind, and I’ve given you the wrong impression.” 

He smiles at you—eyes shining and shadowed and says, "Should we remedy that?” 

You grip his wrist. “Be kind to me, be mean to me—whatever makes you happy. Though I like you as you are, Lucifer.” 

That cute little scrunch in his brow appears, his grip relaxing just enough for you to pull his hand away. You hold it with both of your own—press a kiss to his knuckles and smile there. “You know, if you don’t like the petname, that’s all you have to say.” 

And he can only stare at you with a charmed, slightly exasperated smile, BECAUSE YOU’RE SO FUCKING KIND AND DENSE AND HE JUST WANTS TO RAIL YOU

                                                             ~

Mammon chokes on his juice box. In between sputtering and choking (and you slapping the shit out of his back) he croaks out, “What did you call me?!” 

You sheepishly rub circles on his back—trying to soothe the remnant sting—and say, “My angel baby.”  

Crimson blooms on his cheeks. He gives a nervous cough. “I’m nothin’ like those guys, y’know. I’m way better! And don’t you forget it!” 

You snort and ruffle his hair. Mammon leans into your touch—you’re pretty sure that he doesn’t even realize it. “Okay, okay. Noted. Don’t be such a baby about it.” 

Mammon scoffs, “Oh, we’ll see who the baby is,” then swipes your juice box right out of your hand and fucking runs.

                                                             ~

Levi stares at you—his heart flinging itself back to cling at the bars of his ribcage. He kind of feels like it might drop out of his ass. Did you just call him an angel?! Like, as a petname?! Do you like him that much!?! But, no—no, there’s no way you’d ever give him such a sweet nickname—

You grab him by the shoulders and shake him. “Hello? Earth to Levi? My lil angel water baby??” He doesn’t move. You shake him harder. “What the fuck, dude, BREATHE!”

If his jaw wasn’t hooked to his face with all sorts of complex muscles and ligaments, it would have hit the floor. He splutters like a fish and blushes hard—freezing up like a shark turned on its back—and screams. 

                                                              ~

“You think so?” A faint smirk lifts Satan’s lips. As he considers what you said, he mindlessly chews down on the pink plastic straw of his bufo-egg tea. An angel? Him? What did he even do to bring on such a comparison? 

You gently bonk him on the head. “S’just a petname, Satan. Don’t get lost in that pretty little mind of yours. Come back to me, please.” 

Politely, he wrinkles his nose. He grabs your hand—threads your fingers together and squeezes. “I wasn’t getting lost. I was just thinking about how you’re truly the angelic one.” 

                                                             ~

Asmo cracks a cheeky grin—makes a delighted noise and throws his arms around you, pinching at your cheeks, and nearly knocking over both you and the chair you’re sat on. “An angel?! Oooooo you’re just so cuuute!” 

He pulls back just enough to look you in the eyes. “Go on, tell me more~”

You jolt—swatting at the back of his head as you recognize the familiar tug of magic. He laughs. You pinch his side and say, “Don’t use your persuasion powers on me, you frog!” 

Asmo recoils. “FROG?!” 

                                                             ~

Beel blinks at you, equal parts confused and happy, loaded fork pausing halfway to his mouth. “Did you call me an angel?” 

You’re sat in the booth opposite him, barely visible behind the mountain of food on the table between you, but he sees you nod enthusiastically. “Yeah.”

He slowly brings the fork to his mouth. There’s a warmth in his belly that has nothing to do with the food—stirred up by the butterflies you always seem to invoke. “Why?”

You shrug. “I just think you’re sweet.” 

Funny—he feels the same about you.

                                                             ~

“Hey, that’s sweet.” Belphie smiles at you, slow and lazy. He pulls you into a soft hug. Nuzzles his cheek against your own and says, “You kinda remind me of a gremlin.” 

For some reason, you can’t find it in yourself to be that upset at him. Only a lot, instead of a lot, a lot.

You—ever the adult—stick your tongue out at him.

Belphie—ever the child—tries to bite it. 

You headbutt him. Just a little bit. As a treat. And say, “I’m trying to compliment you, jerk.” 

Belphie snickers and softly bumps his head against yours. “So am I.”