You had an ugly tatoo and fucking cheap perfume;

this is me every 3 hours

it sucks being the ugly quiet rude sarcastic emotionally unstable friend with the attention span of a goldfish

i’ve never read something so accurate

we all have that one friend who is probably secretly a magical girl.

ribbit

BUT HAVE YOU EVER SEEN ONE OF THESE THINGS TRYING TO EAT SOMETHING LARGER THAN ITSELF IT’S FRIKKIN’ TERRIFYING

If you ever see me freeze in public, I’m probably trying to figure out what song is playing

that one otp that you can’t stop shipping even after you gave up the show 

vagina’s are able to stretch wide enough to give birth to a fucking baby and then return to it’s original size but of course being penetrated by that grass blade you call a penis is what’s going to make it “loose”

Uhh. The baby doesnt come out of where the penis goes in…

Her cellphone case has corgis booping noses. That’s frickin adorable.

Why do I find this picture so funny?

WILLIAM STOP MAKING BUNNY EARS ON GRANDMA THIS INSTANT …