// THE DOUBLE LIFE -- !

Honestly, it was kind of hard to run the whole of Castle Town. Well, it wasn’t like he was doing it alone, sure, but it was kind of hard to adjust to having subjects… of any kind, really.

Even so, it was pleasant enough to be around everyone. A little chaotic, sure, but it was fun in that way that only something chaotic was. It made him smile. It was nice to see it grow—to see the kindness the Lightners had given these Darkners as something a little more tangible. He was fond of the messiness of it. It wasn’t like he was doing much ruling—things just kinda happened here.

“Oh! Hello.” Ralsei greeted Battat with a smile, “I… don’t think I’ve seen you around before. Are you new to Castle Town?”

That respect is the only thing that keeps Battat from rolling his eyes. Obviously he's new here. Does Ralsei even have to ask?

"I'm from TV World." Not originally, but Ralsei will know what he means.

"Thanks for letting us stay here, by the way. Tenna's taking it better than expected, and I know that's mostly because of you and your friends." All the Mikes owe Ralsei for that one.

"So if you need help..." He shouldn't do this. He's run ragged as it is, and the last thing he or Mike need is another ruler ordering them around. But Ralsei is a heck of a lot less demanding than Tenna, and this feels like the right thing to do. If Jongler or Pluey were around, he knows they'd say the same.

To Bedeku's dismay, it did appear like they would be stuck there for a while. But at least they seemed to be in good company, so they supposed they couldn't complain much.

“... Oh. Well...” They would glance around, adjusting their glasses, then back to the other. Mike. That was his name, right?

Mike taps his chin, thinking.

"Yeah, I could probably do that for ya. But if Tenna offers, just let him show you around again, okay?" Don't hurt his feelings, and definitely don't tell him "I already did this with Mike, WITHOUT you!"

Gosh he hopes so! Spamton gives one his glitchy freaky little cackles as Pluey is banished to the back of the disgusting automobile.

Can Pluey have the window down at least? To stick his paw out and feel the breeze?

『 WHERE TO ??? THE WORLD IS OUR [[ discount mood ring ]]. 』

He's gonna just start driving to who knows where! That's the fun thing about driving sometimes just... going!

"Let's check out the outskirts." He hasn't been out there much yet, and surely that will give them room to drive without smacking into any unsuspecting Darkners.

Even with the thrill of the open road, Battat's mind still wanders back to their previous conversation. He glances at Spamton out of the corner of his eye.

as always, some triggering content may be present! change any pronouns to better suit your muse(s) needs!

why is it always my fault?

why do people call you that?

do you know anyone here?

how’s your wound?

are you worth a second chance?

after all we’ve been through, why?

when are you going to apologize to me?

you did this? for me?

will you promise me?

can’t you be on my side, just once?

what exactly do you do for a living?

do you even hear yourself?

sorry, what did you say?

did you mean what you said?

can i kiss you?

truth or dare?

are you comfortable?

what were they like?

what time do you want me to pick you up?

how can you say that to me?

how could you possibly think that was a good idea?

did you enjoy yourself?

why don’t you stay over?

why hire someone, when you can just do it yourself?

out of everything you could’ve said, why that?

do i know you?

you love me?

how old do you think i am?

why do they treat me like that?

have i ever given you bad advice?

do you want some company?

do you think last night was a mistake?

what are you in the mood for?

do i remind you of anyone?

where were you?

who did this to you?

can i have some cash?

tell me why i should believe a thing you say?

sorry, do you have the time?

why don’t you find out for yourself?

where do you think you’re going?

do you want one?

when am i ever wrong?

who do you think you are?

where are you going to go?

run that by me again?

i don’t know what to say?

can you kill?

why is it never your fault?

would you kill for it?

why did you do this to me?

can you be quiet?

what’s so funny?

why don’t you want to go home?

how are you so calm?

have we met before?

what was it like?

are you seriously asking me that right now?

what’s with the third degree?

you want me?

can you help me?

would you care for a dance?

are you sure you want to spend another night alone?

why do i have to apologize?

what am i supposed to do if you’re not here?

why would they do that?

do you want me to grab dinner?

can you help me bring these in?

how annoying can you be?

how do you think that makes me feel?

why didn’t you fight back?

what are you so afraid of?

can you tell me what happened?

you did this all by yourself?

how can i help you?

how do you sleep at night?

you’re sorry?

how do you keep a secret like that?

what’s going on?

we’re friends, right?

how about i take you home?

why won’t you just listen to me?

you wanna mess around?

what does that eleven mean?

when will you learn?

how could you even ask me something like that?

does it hurt?

why did you do it?

can you hear me?

do you have a ride home?

you’re afraid of the dark?

would you like to try?

why did you do that for me?

you really think i’m beautiful?

is it noticeable?

where did you get all that money?

where did you get this?

do you know what i did?

where did you go?

like what you see?

can i touch you? here?

how many people have you killed?

can i borrow your phone?

can you keep a secret?

do you want us to stop?

where have you been?

another round?

when’s the last time you had a full night’s rest?

do you really think that’s a good idea?

what does that have to do with anything?

have you eaten anything today?

why do you think you feel that way?

what happened to them?

what’s your problem?

you didn’t really think you were safe, did you?

have you come to apologize?

do you know who i am?

『 A [[ cungadero ]]. 』

You know? His cool car??? They were his favourite product, the one he most prided himself on! But alas... (word on the street is the other Addisons have ripped it off. If that's true, you can believe it's on sight next time he sees them.

『 THE [[ finest luxury ]] WITH [[ state-of-the-art-mechanics ]]. 』

It's weird hearing his old voice from the advertisement tics. Ah well.

『 NO. THIS [[ baby ]] IS [[ coming to you from outside ]] [[ cyberspace ]]. 』

Don't worry about it, Battat. :3 Pluey just wants to be ready in case they need to kill a guy! You know how it is! What matters now is driving adventure! Yay yay!

The car in question Spamton was referencing is a powder-blue minivan.

『 IT;S AWFUL AND [[ I hate it ]] BUT IT;S [[ ours ]]. 』

It doesn't look that bad to him. As long as it runs and gives them the real "luxurious driving experience" Spamton's promised, who cares what breed it is?

@mikezcne sent:

“It comes with the job.”

“I have seen by now what goes on around here...” A light rub to the back of their neck, eyes fixed on the individual before them.

Mike really hopes they'll be content to stick around for a while; he's not looking forward to the fallout when they leave Tenna like everyone else.

"Manager! Hah! I'm a heck of a lot more than a 'manager'! The Weatherites might be second in command, but I'm seconder! Second-and-a-half! Top of the heap minus one! Onstage, offstage, backstage, wastage, I do it all!"

It's his self-appointed job to keep Tenna sane, whatever it takes.

So--

"What can I do for you?"

It's quite alright. He appreciates the sentiment though.

『 AUEHAHAH!!!! I;LL [[ take one ]] [[ easy living ]] WHEN I'M DEAD. 』

He's shivering with excitement at the thought. If you don't love the light, you don't understand it, he thinks. Maybe dice really are so lucky in their spot on the food chain.

Pluey gets up, the tallest of the group. ❝ 🎷 ! ❞ Yes, they got their gun, their favourite mousey toy and... a juice box for you, Battat! Don't worry, it's not battery acid. And it's somewhat fresh this time.

Meanwhile, Spamton stares.

『 I D0N;T H4VE A [[ cungadero ]] ANYYMOR3. 』

Oh don't remind him! He hasn't managed to score one here in Castle Town... But... there is-

『 I D0 HAVE [[ premium access to all your favourite hits ]] WI;;TH THE [[ family friendly ]] [[ summer lovin' ]] [[ explorer ]]. 』

"A what?" The Pippins likes to think he's pretty good at parsing out the meaning behind Spamton's word-jumbles, but he's never heard that one before.

"Works for us. Right, Plues?"

He will take that juice, thank you. This actually sounds... really fun! Spamton makes driving seem like a real thrill, and hanging out with an old friend and a new friend going out on the town doesn't sound half bad, either. He's slightly concerned about the fact that Pluey is packing their gun, but there's no way he's going to ruin this trying to convince them to leave it at home. Contrary to popular belief, he doesn't want to be a stick in the mud. Usually.