𝙷𝙴𝚈‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ 𝙴𝚅𝙴𝚁𝚈‎ ‎ ‎!

Ah... This all felt a bit sudden. He seemed too eager. Was it only because they were a lightner? They still didn't quite understand what that was all about.

Regardless, they didn't feel immediate danger. Even if they couldn't help straightening up a slight bit when he stepped closer to them.

“I—... uh. Well. I feel fine.” A quiet groan. How were they supposed to respond? There was no way they'd bring themself to just... sleep out there.

But then again, they'd rather not get on anyone's bad side. Even if they didn't really feel threatened by the puppet man. And the more they got to learn about these Dark Worlds, the better.

『 THEN THE [[ departing now! No refunds! Tour of your life ]] IT IS. GOOD CHOICES, KID. YOU'LL [ regret it ]. AEHAHA. 』

Okay. A tour, a tour... where can he go without being kicked out or forcibly removed from the premises?

@.feralreason sent:

when’s the last time you had a full night’s rest? -- on behalf of @hypolinkblocked

Leaning back, hiding their eyes with the flap of their hat.

“I've been... in this world for a little while now.” Their now hidden gaze was on the darkner, taking in his puppet-like features.

Huh... What a peculiar-looking fellow.

OKAY. GOOD, GOOD, GREAT!!! They're not backing away in subdued fear like most of his potential customers do. It's just an uncomfortable lean, he can work with that! This is a win.

If he can just get a few, if he can just snowball, if he can just get a little help-- if he can just--

『 BUT THERE IS NEED FOR C0NC.ERN!! YOU LOOK EXHAUSTED. YOU LOOK [[ dead ]]. WHAT YOU NEED IS TO SLEEP LIKE A KING OR QUEEN. T4KE YOUR PICK OF MONARCH. AND I HAVE JUST THE THING... FOR YOU. 』

The puppet takes a few steps closer. Do you hear him out? Please say yes. Please say yes. Please say yes.

Then again, maybe they won't be interested in that but rather this!

『 OR!!! OR!!!! OR!!! IF N0T [[ luxury bedding ]] THEN HOW ABOUT A T0UR??? WITH YOUR PAL SPA M TONG;;. I CAN SHOW YOU [[ scenic views ]] AND. ADVENTURE. YOU SAID YOU;RE NEW. AND NEWBEES GET FAN-TASMIC PerKS!! THE CH0ICE IS YOURS!!! TODAY ONLY. GO ON AND DECIDE BEFORE I [[ throw up ]]!! 』

"Let's check out the outskirts." He hasn't been out there much yet, and surely that will give them room to drive without smacking into any unsuspecting Darkners.

Even with the thrill of the open road, Battat's mind still wanders back to their previous conversation. He glances at Spamton out of the corner of his eye.

Hey, he has hair! He thinks it's still his, at least...

『 YOU GOT IT, BUCKO. 』

He's thinking the same thing. Then he can be as reckless as he pleases! Hang on, Battat and Pluey! When he gets a taste of open air, he's gonna floor it as a treat.

Pluey squeaks a startled note and clings.

It's bitter sweet when the conversation reminds him of what they are, and where they are.

『 THE LIGHT CAN C0ME DOWN HERE. WHY NOT THE REV3RSE ????? 』

It doesn't look that bad to him. As long as it runs and gives them the real "luxurious driving experience" Spamton's promised, who cares what breed it is?

Gosh he hopes so! Spamton gives one his glitchy freaky little cackles as Pluey is banished to the back of the disgusting automobile.

Can Pluey have the window down at least? To stick his paw out and feel the breeze?

『 WHERE TO ??? THE WORLD IS OUR [ discount mood ring ]. 』

He's gonna just start driving to who knows where! That's the fun thing about driving sometimes just... going!

"A what?" The Pippins likes to think he's pretty good at parsing out the meaning behind Spamton's word-jumbles, but he's never heard that one before.

"Works for us. Right, Plues?"

He will take that juice, thank you. This actually sounds... really fun! Spamton makes driving seem like a real thrill, and hanging out with an old friend and a new friend going out on the town doesn't sound half bad, either. He's slightly concerned about the fact that Pluey is packing their gun, but there's no way he's going to ruin this trying to convince them to leave it at home. Contrary to popular belief, he doesn't want to be a stick in the mud. Usually.

『 A [[ cungadero ]]. 』

You know? His cool car??? They were his favourite product, the one he most prided himself on! But alas... (word on the street is the other Addisons have ripped it off. If that's true, you can believe it's on sight next time he sees them.

『 THE [[ finest luxury ]] WITH [[ state-of-the-art-mechanics ]]. 』

It's weird hearing his old voice from the advertisement tics. Ah well.

『 NO. THIS [[ baby ]] IS [[ coming to you from outside ]] [[ cyberspace ]]. 』

Don't worry about it, Battat. :3 Pluey just wants to be ready in case they need to kill a guy! You know how it is! What matters now is driving adventure! Yay yay!

The car in question Spamton was referencing is a powder-blue minivan.

『 IT;S AWFUL AND [[ I hate it ]] BUT IT;S [[ ours ]]. 』

"I get it, you love the light." But why? Lightners are great and all, but... are they, really? Look what they did to Tenna. The Light World and its inhabitants are overrated, if you ask Battat. They just end up hurting Darkners, losing them, throwing them away. Is that love?

"...that's... actually really nice, Spamton. Thank you."

He wishes there were a way for Spamton to achieve his dreams. If the Pippins weren't so certain that what his friend wants is completely and utterly impossible, he might choose that as his next mystery to look into.

...actually, now that he thinks about it--

He yelps, surprised out of his thoughts by Pluey.

"Hah. Yeah! Yeah! Let's go!" Jongler's out Jongling, but they'll invite them along next time.

It's quite alright. He appreciates the sentiment though.

『 AUEHAHAH!!!! I;LL [[ take one ]] [[ easy living ]] WHEN I'M DEAD. 』

He's shivering with excitement at the thought. If you don't love the light, you don't understand it, he thinks. Maybe dice really are so lucky in their spot on the food chain.

Pluey gets up, the tallest of the group. ❝ 🎷 ! ❞ Yes, they got their gun, their favourite mousey toy and... a juice box for you, Battat! Don't worry, it's not battery acid. And it's somewhat fresh this time.

Meanwhile, Spamton stares.

『 I D0N;T H4VE A [[ cungadero ]] ANYYMOR3. 』

Oh don't remind him! He hasn't managed to score one here in Castle Town... But... there is-

『 I D0 HAVE [[ premium access to all your favourite hits ]] WI;;TH THE [[ family friendly ]] [[ summer lovin' ]] [[ explorer ]]. 』