I've been writing fics since I was a kid, and reading and writing them in the internet since around... 2007 I think? And still don't really know what the "proper etiquette" for this stuff is supposed to be since people have so many varying opinions on the subject. One universal rule seems to be "Don't like, don't read!", but other than that, it seems to vary from person to person, and even this rule has it's exceptions. So... is it fandom based? Site based? Or what I fear, specific groups of people based? The thing where people go "this is how you do it, if you don't follow these rules we made up but didn't even bother to tell anyone then you're doing it wrong!" -type of thing that you often see around the internet and real world?
Honestly, been investigating the matter a lot lately, and what I find just makes me want to stop commenting on people's fics entirely 'cause you never know what someone's idea of proper etiquette is and I don't want to offend someone or, which I consider to be worse due to past experiences, have someone attacking me for making a comment they didn't like. There was this one great fic I'd followed almost since the beginning, commented a lot and chatted with the author, but then one time, I criticized the actions of one of the OCs in the story (the OC was being misogynistic) and the author absolutely flipped. Like, I would understand it if I'd told him/her/them (I never asked about the person's pronouns) one shouldn't write things like that, but I didn't, I criticized a character for his words and actions. I didn't say it was bad writing, and still don't think it was btw, just that what the character said and did wasn't right and BAM! I had made an enemy. We talked about it in PMs for a while, but eventually, I came to the conclusion of just letting go. Letting go included stopping reading that fic too though, 'cause after how the author acted, I just couldn't bring myself to read something written by someone like that. So yeah, often when I'm about to review a fic I've read, I think back to this case and just... don't leave a review. Many times, a fic just doesn't feel like worth dealing with that shit and yes, this includes fics/chapters I have nothing but good things to say about, too, 'cause I can never know when someone will misinterpret what I say, either.
So... why am I rambling? I dunno, maybe, if we who read and write, could like, agree on some symbol or word that means "I am capable of taking criticism and handling feedback I might not like so it's okay to comment my stories even if you have something else than just praise to say" so that leaving reviews would be safer? 'Cause these people who can't handle a negative word or two kinda take joy out of discussing fics with the authors themselves, making it like a minefield, but I know not everyone is like that. Often times, when I do comment, my words are received with enthusiasm, but that was the case at first with the mentioned case too, so there's always this "if I comment scene X in way Y, will this person be like that one back then" -question nagging at the back of my head?
