memories of stars.

You swallow your instinct to step back.

Instead, you try your voice.

“Hey,” you say gently, quietly, like a test. “Long day?”

Zayne exhales through his nose, rubs his eyes with the heel of his hand. “Long doesn't begin to cover it.”

You take a slow step forward. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“No.” His tone is curt. Abrupt. You flinch — but stay where you are.

“I made dinner,” you offer, softer this time. “Something light. You haven’t eaten since—”

“God, can you just stop?”

The words are a gunshot. You freeze.

He’s facing you now, eyes sharp and wild with stress.

“Zayne…” you whisper, but your throat’s already tight.

“I walk into this apartment needing one second to breathe, and you’re already asking questions, hovering — offering food, talking about feelings — can you just give me space?”

It hits you harder than it should. Not the words — but the way he says them.

The volume. The edge.

The way your father used to sound just before slamming a door and making you feel smaller than the silence he left behind.

Your hands tremble. The blanket slips from your fingers and lands on the floor with a soft thud. You take a step back, but the walls feel too close, your ribs locked tight around the breath you can’t seem to find.

Zayne notices the shift in you immediately.

Your eyes go glassy. You’re not saying anything. Just… blinking. Holding yourself like your own body might break if you don’t.

He sees the tears before you feel them fall.

“Wait — wait, no,” he says suddenly, voice cracking. “Don’t — no, I didn’t mean—”

But you’re already backing away, hands rising halfway in that half-hearted gesture of surrender.

“I’m sorry,” you whisper, voice shaking. “I didn’t mean to upset you. I just wanted to help.”

His face falls apart.

“No, no, please don’t apologize,” Zayne says, stepping toward you — but gentler now. He reaches out, and when you flinch ever so slightly, he freezes. “God, I didn’t mean to yell. I never want to raise my voice at you. I didn’t think — I wasn’t thinking.”

You press a sleeve against your cheek, wiping away the tears that won’t stop. “I don’t like yelling. It — messes with my head.”

He breathes out a sound that’s half a sob. “You were just trying to care for me. And I treated you like — like everyone else treats me when I’m tired. Dismissive. Angry. Cold. And you’re not everyone else. You’re you.”

He’s in front of you now, his voice shaking as badly as your hands.

“I’m so sorry I hurt you,” he whispers. “You didn’t deserve that.”

You look up at him, unsure — like any sudden movement might trigger another wave. But he’s nothing but stillness now. Open palms. Broken regret.

“I don’t want to be afraid of you,” you say softly.

“You shouldn’t be.” His voice cracks. “You never should be.”

And then he sinks to his knees in front of you, arms slowly wrapping around your waist, head pressed gently to your stomach like he needs to ground himself in the shape of you. Not demanding forgiveness — just asking to stay.

You don’t speak. You just run your fingers through his hair, slowly, over and over. And when your breathing starts to slow, he holds on tighter.

“You’re my home,” he says into your shirt. “And I hurt it. I’ll never forgive myself for that — not unless you tell me I can try again.”

You look down at him, cheeks tear-streaked. “I want to forgive you.”

His eyes lift, red-rimmed and desperate. “I’ll earn it. Every second. Just — don’t shut me out. Please.”

You sink down beside him on the floor, into the warmth of his arms, into the messy, painful truth of loving someone who sometimes breaks under the weight of his own heart.

“I won’t,” you whisper. “Just don’t forget — I break too.”

He nods, holding you tighter.

“I’ll remember. From now on, I’ll remember.”

XAVIER

The silence in the shuttle feels heavier than it should.

Not the usual quiet that follows the adrenaline of a completed mission, but something strained. Too sharp at the edges. Like neither of you can catch your breath, even though you’re technically safe now.

You sit across from Xavier, hands clasped in your lap, trying not to tremble. The mission was a success — on paper. No casualties. Objective completed. But it was too close. Too close when you were separated. Too close when you lost contact. Too close when you thought for a split second that he might not come back.

You’re trying to hold it together, but the tension inside you is unraveling, thread by thread.

“Xavier…” you say softly, hoping your voice won’t crack. “Can we just— talk? Or just… sit close? I—” You hesitate, then admit, “I still feel like I’m back there.”

He doesn’t even look up from the holo-screen he’s reviewing. His jaw is tight. His fingers tap too fast on the interface. “Now’s not the time.”

Your chest tightens.

“I’m trying to be okay,” you say, more fragile now, barely above a whisper. “I just need you to — be here.”

Xavier sighs. Not tired. Frustrated.

“Why do you need something from me every time things get hard?” His voice comes out sharp, unfiltered. “Can’t you see I’m trying to deal with my own mess right now?”

The words hit harder than they should. They’re not cruel, not really—but they come from him, and that makes them a knife.

You shrink back, eyes widening. “I didn’t mean to burden you. I just… I thought you’d understand.”

“I’m not your emotional anchor,” he snaps, then freezes — because he knows. He sees the exact moment your expression fractures. The flicker of hurt that flashes across your face like a dying star.

You stare at him, lips parting slightly, the burn of rejection rising in your throat before you can swallow it down. “Right. Of course.”

Your hands shake as you unbuckle yourself from the seat, turning away. “Forget I said anything.”

“Wait—” he starts, standing, but you’re already moving down the corridor, desperate for some distance. You need air. You need quiet. You need not to cry in front of him.

But you don’t make it far.

Your knees buckle against the wall just around the corner of the cabin, breath catching, the memory of the mission replaying behind your eyes. The chaos. The gunfire. The feeling of helplessness when the comms went dead. And now this — him — pulling away when all you wanted was him.

You don’t hear him follow, but you feel it.

You don’t answer. You hug your knees tighter to your chest and keep your gaze locked on the floor.

“I didn’t mean that,” he murmurs. “I didn’t mean any of it.”

You blink hard. “You said it anyway.”

He crouches beside you, hands trembling just slightly as he reaches out — hesitates — and finally settles one hand on your arm.

“I was scared too,” he confesses. “I didn’t let it show, because I can’t. Not out there. But when we lost contact, when I didn’t know if you were alive… I went into survival mode. And when you needed me just now — I pushed instead of pulled. Because that’s what I’ve always done. But it’s not what you deserve.”

You finally glance at him, eyes damp. “I only ever wanted you to be someone I could lean on. Just for a moment.”

His face crumples. “You can. I was wrong. I was… tired and scared and I took it out on the last person I ever should.”

You breathe shakily, letting your head fall against his shoulder. “You scared me, Xavier.”

“I scare myself sometimes,” he murmurs into your hair. “But I’d never forgive myself if I let you believe that your feelings don’t matter to me. You matter. So much it terrifies me.”

His arms come around you then, warm and firm and anchoring you in a way no mission report ever could. You sit there on the floor of the shuttle, hearts thudding too fast, breaths slowly syncing as the panic begins to fade.

“I need you, too,” he whispers against your temple. “Not just in the fight. Not just in the mission. Here. With me.”

You nod, quietly pressing your forehead into his chest. “Then just… hold me. Don’t let go.”

“Never,” he says, holding you tighter. “Not even if the universe tears apart.”

RAFAYEL

The studio smells like paint and tension.

There’s a new canvas on the easel — half-finished, colors chaotic, brushstrokes angrier than they used to be. Rafayel stands in front of it with his back to you, arms crossed, jaw tight. His palette lies abandoned on the table, streaked with smeared reds and grays.

You hesitate in the doorway, watching him. He's been like this for days — restless, snappish, too quiet until he isn’t. His upcoming solo exhibition has devoured every inch of his attention, leaving little room for anything or anyone else.

Still, you try.

You always try.

“I brought you something to eat,” you say softly, holding up the tray with the kind of food he forgets to want when he’s deep in creation. “It’s not much, just — something warm.”

He doesn’t look at you. Doesn’t even shift.

You approach carefully, setting the tray down on the side table with a quiet clink. “You’ve been standing there for hours. I thought maybe —”

“Don’t,” he says, voice sharp like shattered glass.

You blink. “I just—”

“I said don’t,” Rafayel snaps, finally turning toward you with a look that doesn’t belong to him. Not the real him — the one who paints stars in your eyes and kisses laughter into your skin. This version is cold. Fractured. Exhausted. “I don’t need food. I don’t need conversation. I don’t need you hovering over me like I’m some broken thing you’re trying to fix.”

The air goes out of your lungs.

“I wasn’t—” Your voice wavers. “I wasn’t trying to fix anything. I just thought you needed someone.”

“I need space,” he says flatly, wiping his hands on a paint-stained cloth. “Not pity. Not babysitting. Space.”

The word space lodges in your chest like a splinter.

You stare at him, stunned, unsure if you should be angry or just… heartbroken. But the tears are already stinging at the corners of your eyes, traitorous and quiet.

“You think I’m here out of pity?” you whisper.

Rafayel opens his mouth to say something — another line, another deflection — but he sees the tears. And everything in him stops.

“Wait — Cutie, no,” he says quickly, voice cracking. “That’s not what I meant—”

But you’re already backing up, trying to blink the tears away, trying not to let your voice break the way your heart just did.

“I know you’re under pressure. I know this matters to you. But you don’t get to make me feel like I don’t.”

He’s silent.

And then, quietly — brokenly — he says, “You do.”

You turn your head, not trusting yourself to look at him.

“I don’t want space,” you whisper. “I want you. But maybe I was wrong about how much room I take up.”

That’s when you hear the scrape of his stool, the soft thud of his footsteps crossing the room. He stops just behind you, close enough that you can feel the warmth of him, but he doesn’t reach out yet. Doesn’t touch.

“I’m scared,” Rafayel says finally, his voice a hushed confession. “This exhibition… It’s the first time I’ve shown the real things. Not what people expect from me. Not the masks. Just — me. And I’m terrified they’ll look at it and see nothing worth keeping.”

You say nothing for a long beat, letting his words sink in. And then, gently, quietly: “That’s how I feel right now.”

He flinches.

And then his arms are around you, pulling you in with more tenderness than you thought he had left. He buries his face in your shoulder like he’s trying to disappear into you, like maybe if he presses hard enough, he can paint over the pain with love.

“I’m sorry,” he breathes, voice hoarse. “I lashed out because I couldn’t control the fear. But I never wanted to hurt you. You’re the only thing that keeps me from getting swallowed whole.”

You don’t answer with words. You just wrap your arms around him and hold tight, letting his heartbeat thump against your own. Letting the silence stretch until it’s no longer a punishment — but a place of peace.

“I’m not going anywhere,” you whisper eventually. “Even when it’s hard. Even when you forget how to let me in.”

His arms tighten, and this time, the tremble in his shoulders isn’t from anger or stress — but relief.

“Then stay,” he says. “Stay. And I’ll learn how to deserve it.”

SYLUS

The storm never shows in Sylus’s voice. It’s in the way his gloves come off more slowly than usual. In the way his coat remains folded across the back of the armchair, untouched. In the way he stands by the window of the apartment, staring into the city’s electric dusk, spine straight, but shoulders taut with the kind of restraint that always precedes a fracture.

You’ve seen Sylus under pressure before. He thrives on control. But tonight, he’s less conductor, more fault line — beautifully composed, dangerously close to collapse.

“They’re probing again,” he says at last, eyes still fixed on the glass. “Tapping surveillance threads, watching Onychinus operatives, cross-referencing movements that were never meant to leave shadows. Someone at Elysium is leaking information — and they’re becoming increasingly adept at masquerading as allies.”

You hesitate in the doorway, hands wringing slightly. “Is there anything I can do?”

That question — your question — snaps something subtle but sharp in him.

“You can stop asking me that,” Sylus says, voice low but laced with something volatile. “Every time something threatens to rupture, you offer comfort as though that alone might cauterize the wound.”

You blink, the sting immediate. “I was just trying to help—”

“And in doing so, you make it abundantly clear how little you understand what’s truly at stake.” He turns toward you now, eyes dark with restrained fury. “This isn’t one of your dreams where hearts and hopes rearrange the world. This is war in whispers. A battle fought in silence. Every misstep is a death sentence waiting for a signature.”

You recoil as if struck.

The words aren’t loud — but they cut with surgical precision.

“I didn’t mean to intrude,” you say quietly, voice already trembling. “I thought you’d want someone beside you… even if it’s just to listen.”

He doesn’t speak. And the silence feels like exile.

“I’m sorry,” you murmur, taking a step back. “I didn’t come here to be in your way.”

And then you feel it: the burn behind your eyes. The ache in your throat. The slow, awful realization that your presence — the thing you thought might ground him — is only another variable he can’t afford.

You try to turn away before the tears fall, but one escapes anyway, sliding hot down your cheek.

That’s when he moves.

Not a sudden rush — Sylus never does anything without precision — but something in him shifts, like glass catching the light before it shatters.

“Wait,” he says, his voice no longer laced with steel, but smoke.

You stop, barely daring to breathe.

“I didn’t mean…” He trails off, then approaches with the solemnity of someone approaching sacred ground. “What I said was unconscionable.”

You don’t meet his gaze. “Then why did you say it?”

“Because I’m afraid,” he says simply. “And I hate being afraid.”

You finally glance at him. His mask has cracked — not the one he wears for Onychinus, not the one he wears in Elysium—but the one he wears when he thinks he must carry the weight alone.

“I don’t know how to shield you from me — from the fate we are forced to carry out,” he continues, quieter now. “And the thought of you being entangled in it — of you having to enact such an impossible decision again — terrifies me more than any enemy ever could.”

You wipe at your cheeks, still shaking a little. “Then don’t push me away. You've never had any qualms about me forging my own path. Let me choose to stay. "

Sylus exhales like the confession has hollowed him out. And then, finally, he closes the distance and gathers you into his arms — not fiercely, but reverently. Like you're something rare. Breakable. Too precious to risk, and too loved to let go.

“I’m sorry,” he whispers into your hair. “For weaponizing my fear and calling it logic. You are not a burden. You are the only calm I’ve ever known.”

You bury your face into his chest, breathing in the scent of ink and wind and home.

“I want to be here. Even if it’s hard,” you murmur. “Especially then.”

Sylus kisses the crown of your head, and something in him settles. Not the storm. But the eye of it.

CALEB

You find Caleb alone in his office, bent over a glowing tactical display. His gloves are discarded on the table, jacket unfastened at the collar. He hasn’t shaved, and the circles beneath his eyes are darker than the shadows cast by the ceiling lights.

He doesn’t look up when you step in. He probably heard you. He always does.

You take a breath. “You haven’t slept.”

“I don’t have the luxury,” he replies curtly, fingers flicking through holograms of ship placements and intel logs. “One mistake and we lose an entire outpost.”

“I’m not saying to ignore it,” you murmur, moving a little closer. “I’m saying maybe you could just — rest. Even for an hour.”

“I can’t.”

“Caleb, please—”

He slams his palm onto the console, startling you. The holo-map flickers. “Don’t you think I know what I need?!”

You freeze, breath catching in your throat. His voice wasn’t loud, but it burned. Sharp. Rigid. The kind of pain that’s been simmering too long.

He turns, eyes wide with anger — but the moment he sees your face, your stunned expression, your trembling hands, the fire drains from him.

You’re already backing away. “I was just trying to help,” you whisper, voice cracking. “I didn’t mean to—”

“You didn’t do anything wrong,” he blurts out, stepping forward. “Wait — Pips, please—”

But you can’t. Not right now. Your vision blurs, and you blink hard, but the tears come anyway.

He looks stricken.

“I didn’t mean to raise my voice,” he says, quieter now, like the guilt is caving in around him. “I didn’t mean to say any of that to you.”

You try to compose yourself, biting down hard on the inside of your cheek, but it only makes the tears sting more. “Why would you yell at me like that?”

“Because I’m falling apart,” he says, barely above a whisper. “And I didn’t want you to see it.”

You look at him — this man who commands fleets and soldiers, who leads without hesitation — and you see the truth. His hands are steady in battle, but they’re shaking now. Not from fear. From pressure. From everything he carries and never lets himself set down.

“I always thought,” you say slowly, “that when things got hard, we’d face it together. That you wouldn’t shut me out.”

“I didn’t mean to,” he says, voice thick. “But the moment you came in, the part of me that was trying to stay composed… cracked. And instead of reaching for you, I lashed out. I’m so sorry.”

You watch him — his guarded posture crumbling, his eyes pleading, his voice no longer the Colonel’s, but Caleb’s. Just Caleb.

“You don’t have to be perfect with me,” you say, stepping close again, even though your cheeks are still wet. “I don’t need the soldier. I need you. And I need to know you won’t hurt me when you’re hurting.”

He closes his eyes, regret etched deep in every line of his face.

“I will never — never — forgive myself if I make you feel like that again,” he says. “You mean more to me than any title, any ship, any war. You’re my compass. My peace.”

When he opens his arms, you hesitate — just for a moment. But then you fall into them, and he holds you like he’s scared you’ll slip through his fingers. His breath is shaky against your hair. His embrace tighter than it's ever been.

“I love you,” he murmurs. “Even when I forget how to show it. Even when the weight makes me forget how to breathe.”