but did you die?

After what seems like hours, you feel the car stop and prepare yourself to act exactly like Hotch told you: "pretend to be afraid, he is feeding on that fear, if you show you aren't scared he will get violent" The trunk opens and you are greeted by the unsub, staring down at you like he just won the lottery.

You take a deep, shuddering breath, and try to remember your training. Knowing that the tracker is sewn inside your shirt is what keeps you going. All you have to do know is play your part as victim and let the team handle the rest.

The tall man points a revolver at you and orders you to get out of the car. You obey, looking around and trying to assess the territory. He brought you to a forest, and in the middle of the night, there's no chance for you to figure out which one you are standing one.

You feel the barrel of the gun in your back, and you start walking. "Where are you taking me?" you ask him in whimper "Why are you doing this?"

"Don't worry sweetheart, you'll know soon" he laughs, pushing you again with the barrel of his revolver.

Almost five minutes later, you arrive to what looks like an abandoned hut, deep in the forest. He forces you to go inside, and opens a hatchet on the floor. "Get in" he commands.

You cry softly, playing your part as the helpless victim, and do as he says. Inside, you found a big room, covered in what seems like cartons of eggs on the walls, and, cowering in a corner, a group of four girls, all of them disheveled and dirty, but still holding a strong resemblance to you.

Seeing all of the victims alive and seemingly unharmed fills you with relief, but you keep pretending to be one of them and try to look confused and terrified.

"Why did you get us here? What are you gonna do to us?" you stammer, moving into the corner with the rest of the victims

"You are the chosen ones. You will repopulate the Earth" he simply states, smiling widely and sitting in front of the group, silently oggling you.

Spencer's POV

The SUV speeds down the I-93, following the unsubs car as fast as it can. Spencer can see the green spot, now still on the screen, shining in the middle of what seems to be Holbrook Town Forest. He knows the tracker was sawn into the neck of your shirt, and there is no chance that the unsub somehow noticed it, or that it got lost or manfunctioned, but still, he can't help the fear creeping down his spine.

He fears for your life, of course, but, deep down, in a selfish way, he also fears for himself. He can't take any more loses, he's lost enough people already. He looks out the window and can see the dark silouttes of the trees as they get into a dirt road and closer to your location.

Silently, him and the rest of the team, accompanied by the Boston Police Department, exit their vehicles and move down the narrow path towards the small cabin.

Morgan gets next to one side of the door, with Hotch covering the other side. Prentiss and Rossi go around the cabin, securing any possible exit. JJ and Reid stand by with the rest of the officers, ready to get into action.

Hotchner nods and Morgan open the door quietly, carefully pointing his gun and flashlight into the cabin. He slowly gets inside the place, followed by the rest of the team.

The place seems empty, and Reid starts to panic. She has to be here, please, where is she? He feels something hard against his right foot, and looking down, he sees the handle of a hatch.

He quietly signals over to Morgan and points at his discovery. His friend nods and, counting to three, he grabs the handle and opens the hatch.

Your POV

The noise of the hatch opening up distracts your kidnapper, and without waisting a second, you grab the gun out of his hands and point it at him.

"Get behind me!" you yell at the girls as you shild them with your body.

"Jefferson Ackley, you are under arrest for kidnapping!!" you hear Morgan scream, and a wave of relief runs through your body

The unsub stares down at you, his face going red with anger.

"YOU!!" he hollers, "YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO BE WEAK LIKE THE REST OF THEM" he lunges towards you, and you feel your finger pulling the trigger, followed by a loud bang.

Jefferson's body is in front of you, lying face down. His blood starts pooling down around his large body, and you lower the gun slowly, looking around the room, still not believing what just happened.

Your eyes meet Spencer's, and he nods softly, letting you know that you acted as you should have. You nod back at him and turn to the horrified girls.

"Let's get out of here, you are safe now" you whisper to them "We'll get you all home"

Morgan guides the victims out of the bunker until the only ones left inside are you are Reid. You stare at the unsub's body, still in desbelief

"I-I had to" you stammer "He was coming for me"

Spencer moves closer to you and places his hand on your shoulder. "You did exactly what you had to do" he whisper "It was self defense"

You turn to the side and look at him "Does it get easier? After the first one, I mean..." you ask, a feeling of guilt still lingering in your chest

"No, not really" he answers softly "Taking a life is never easy"

You nod in understanding. "I owe you an apology, Spencer" you stutter, your voice shaky

"No, don't worry about, we'll talk later" he interrupts you "Let's get you checked out by the paramedics and then to the hotel"

Altough you really want to talk to him, you have to admit he is right. You can feel the adrenaline leaving yor body, leaving you exhausted and feeling like you just ran a marathon.

Four hours later, you step out of the shower in your hotel room. You check the time on your phone. It's 2 am. You are absolutely exhausted, but you know you won't be able to sleep if you don't talk to Spencer first.

You quickly get dressed into your pajamas, not caring if he sees you disheveled and in ugly clothes. Knowing he'll probably still be awake and starting the report on the case, you walk down the hall into his bedroom, and knock softly on the door.

Spencer's POV

Spencer hears two soft knocks on the door, and stops filling out his report. He just knows it's her knocking. Taking a deep breath, he gets up from the chair and moves towards the door.

He opens the door and there she is, wearing her pajamas, her hair still wet from the shower, standing in the hallway with an apologetic look, her arms crossed on her chest.

"Hi" he whispers

"Hey" she responds, her voice also low. "Can I come in?"

He nods and moves to let you enter the room, closing the door behind him. She stands in the room, looking at him with guilt written all over her features.

"Spencer, I don't even know where to start" she begins softly "I have been so unfair to you, you were only trying to help me and I acted like a horrible person, I was such a bitch to you"

"Y/N, it's okay, you don't have to-" he tries to object to her apology, but she nods vigorously and continues talking

"No, I do have to! You were worried about me, and I lashed out, you didn't deserve the way I treated you, and I'm really, truly sorry" she sniffles, a tear rolling rapidly down her cheek

Spencer decides to let her talk, and gestures for her to sit down on the chair he was previously occupying, and she complies.

"I was...I am so scared of this job sometimes, that I just misdirect my anger and my insecurities, and it's not right, and I promise that I'll do better" she is full on sobbing now, her eyes glistening and red with tears.

Spencer's heart breaks as he listens to her apologies. He crouches down to be at her eye level, grabbing her hands in his.

""I know how you feel, and I forgive you" he says, but she is averting her gaze, still embarrased and guilty

Spencer softly tilts her chin and makes her look into his eyes. "Hey, look at me. I'm not mad at you, and I really do forgive you"

He can't help but think that even with her face red and puffy, her cheeks still wet with tears, she is still the most beautiful woman he's ever seen, and his stomachs jumps when she finally meets his gaze and nods.

"I know how hard this job is" he continues, trying to ignore the way she's making him feel. "I'll help you through this, I promise. You are my friend, you have to let me help you, okay?"

"I don't want to be a burden to you, Spencer" she chokes "I'm gonna get help from a therapist, I need to work this out"

Spencer nods in agreement "I think that's a great idea, therapy is good for impostor's syndrome, and actually I'm not surprissed you are affected by it, since research shows it's common among high-achieving, exceptionally smart women, and well, that's who you are" he explains, smiling at you as he ends the sentence

"And even if you are getting help, I'm still gonna be here for you, I want to, because you are my friend, and that's what friends do" he continues, his hand holding both of hers again.

"Thank you, Spencer, really. I don't know how i got so lucky to have such a great friend" she tells him, standing up and wrapping him in a tight hug

He hugs her back and can't help but notice how soft her skin feels against him, the smell of lavender and honey in her hair, how her head rests perfectly under his chin. Control yourself, you weirdo he thinks to himself.

She continues hugging him for a few seconds and when she finally breaks the hug, her hand still on his arms, smiling up at him.

"I don't wanna kick you out, but I think we really need to sleep" he says, trying no to look at how puffy and pink her lips are after crying

"Yeah, you are right" she agrees, blinking softly. "I feel like I've been run over by a truck"

Spencer chuckles and walks her to the door "You'll get used to it" he jokes as she steps out of the room

"I hope so" she smiles again "Sleep tight, Spence, and thank you again for being such a good friend"

"No need to thank me, sleep well" he says, watching as she turns around and walks down the hallway

Friends. The word keeps spinning in his head.

I don't want to be just friends he thinks.

But that's clearly all she wants, so he'll have to live with it until his feelings eventually go away.

After what seems like hours, you feel the car stop and prepare yourself to act exactly like Hotch told you: "pretend to be afraid, he is feeding on that fear, if you show you aren't scared he will get violent" The trunk opens and you are greeted by the unsub, staring down at you like he just won the lottery.

You take a deep, shuddering breath, and try to remember your training. Knowing that the tracker is sewn inside your shirt is what keeps you going. All you have to do know is play your part as victim and let the team handle the rest.

The tall man points a revolver at you and orders you to get out of the car. You obey, looking around and trying to assess the territory. He brought you to a forest, and in the middle of the night, there's no chance for you to figure out which one you are standing one.

You feel the barrel of the gun in your back, and you start walking. "Where are you taking me?" you ask him in whimper "Why are you doing this?"

"Don't worry sweetheart, you'll know soon" he laughs, pushing you again with the barrel of his revolver.

Almost five minutes later, you arrive to what looks like an abandoned hut, deep in the forest. He forces you to go inside, and opens a hatchet on the floor. "Get in" he commands.

You cry softly, playing your part as the helpless victim, and do as he says. Inside, you found a big room, covered in what seems like cartons of eggs on the walls, and, cowering in a corner, a group of four girls, all of them disheveled and dirty, but still holding a strong resemblance to you.

Seeing all of the victims alive and seemingly unharmed fills you with relief, but you keep pretending to be one of them and try to look confused and terrified.

"Why did you get us here? What are you gonna do to us?" you stammer, moving into the corner with the rest of the victims

"You are the chosen ones. You will repopulate the Earth" he simply states, smiling widely and sitting in front of the group, silently oggling you.

Spencer's POV

The SUV speeds down the I-93, following the unsubs car as fast as it can. Spencer can see the green spot, now still on the screen, shining in the middle of what seems to be Holbrook Town Forest. He knows the tracker was sawn into the neck of your shirt, and there is no chance that the unsub somehow noticed it, or that it got lost or manfunctioned, but still, he can't help the fear creeping down his spine.

He fears for your life, of course, but, deep down, in a selfish way, he also fears for himself. He can't take any more loses, he's lost enough people already. He looks out the window and can see the dark silouttes of the trees as they get into a dirt road and closer to your location.

Silently, him and the rest of the team, accompanied by the Boston Police Department, exit their vehicles and move down the narrow path towards the small cabin.

Morgan gets next to one side of the door, with Hotch covering the other side. Prentiss and Rossi go around the cabin, securing any possible exit. JJ and Reid stand by with the rest of the officers, ready to get into action.

Hotchner nods and Morgan open the door quietly, carefully pointing his gun and flashlight into the cabin. He slowly gets inside the place, followed by the rest of the team.

The place seems empty, and Reid starts to panic. She has to be here, please, where is she? He feels something hard against his right foot, and looking down, he sees the handle of a hatch.

He quietly signals over to Morgan and points at his discovery. His friend nods and, counting to three, he grabs the handle and opens the hatch.

Your POV

The noise of the hatch opening up distracts your kidnapper, and without waisting a second, you grab the gun out of his hands and point it at him.

"Get behind me!" you yell at the girls as you shild them with your body.

"Jefferson Ackley, you are under arrest for kidnapping!!" you hear Morgan scream, and a wave of relief runs through your body

The unsub stares down at you, his face going red with anger.

"YOU!!" he hollers, "YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO BE WEAK LIKE THE REST OF THEM" he lunges towards you, and you feel your finger pulling the trigger, followed by a loud bang.

Jefferson's body is in front of you, lying face down. His blood starts pooling down around his large body, and you lower the gun slowly, looking around the room, still not believing what just happened.

Your eyes meet Spencer's, and he nods softly, letting you know that you acted as you should have. You nod back at him and turn to the horrified girls.

"Let's get out of here, you are safe now" you whisper to them "We'll get you all home"

Morgan guides the victims out of the bunker until the only ones left inside are you are Reid. You stare at the unsub's body, still in desbelief

"I-I had to" you stammer "He was coming for me"

Spencer moves closer to you and places his hand on your shoulder. "You did exactly what you had to do" he whisper "It was self defense"

You turn to the side and look at him "Does it get easier? After the first one, I mean..." you ask, a feeling of guilt still lingering in your chest

"No, not really" he answers softly "Taking a life is never easy"

You nod in understanding. "I owe you an apology, Spencer" you stutter, your voice shaky

"No, don't worry about, we'll talk later" he interrupts you "Let's get you checked out by the paramedics and then to the hotel"

Altough you really want to talk to him, you have to admit he is right. You can feel the adrenaline leaving yor body, leaving you exhausted and feeling like you just ran a marathon.

Four hours later, you step out of the shower in your hotel room. You check the time on your phone. It's 2 am. You are absolutely exhausted, but you know you won't be able to sleep if you don't talk to Spencer first.

You quickly get dressed into your pajamas, not caring if he sees you disheveled and in ugly clothes. Knowing he'll probably still be awake and starting the report on the case, you walk down the hall into his bedroom, and knock softly on the door.

Spencer's POV

Spencer hears two soft knocks on the door, and stops filling out his report. He just knows it's her knocking. Taking a deep breath, he gets up from the chair and moves towards the door.

He opens the door and there she is, wearing her pajamas, her hair still wet from the shower, standing in the hallway with an apologetic look, her arms crossed on her chest.

"Hi" he whispers

"Hey" she responds, her voice also low. "Can I come in?"

He nods and moves to let you enter the room, closing the door behind him. She stands in the room, looking at him with guilt written all over her features.

"Spencer, I don't even know where to start" she begins softly "I have been so unfair to you, you were only trying to help me and I acted like a horrible person, I was such a bitch to you"

"Y/N, it's okay, you don't have to-" he tries to object to her apology, but she nods vigorously and continues talking

"No, I do have to! You were worried about me, and I lashed out, you didn't deserve the way I treated you, and I'm really, truly sorry" she sniffles, a tear rolling rapidly down her cheek

Spencer decides to let her talk, and gestures for her to sit down on the chair he was previously occupying, and she complies.

"I was...I am so scared of this job sometimes, that I just misdirect my anger and my insecurities, and it's not right, and I promise that I'll do better" she is full on sobbing now, her eyes glistening and red with tears.

Spencer's heart breaks as he listens to her apologies. He crouches down to be at her eye level, grabbing her hands in his.

""I know how you feel, and I forgive you" he says, but she is averting her gaze, still embarrased and guilty

Spencer softly tilts her chin and makes her look into his eyes. "Hey, look at me. I'm not mad at you, and I really do forgive you"

He can't help but think that even with her face red and puffy, her cheeks still wet with tears, she is still the most beautiful woman he's ever seen, and his stomachs jumps when she finally meets his gaze and nods.

"I know how hard this job is" he continues, trying to ignore the way she's making him feel. "I'll help you through this, I promise. You are my friend, you have to let me help you, okay?"

"I don't want to be a burden to you, Spencer" she chokes "I'm gonna get help from a therapist, I need to work this out"

Spencer nods in agreement "I think that's a great idea, therapy is good for impostor's syndrome, and actually I'm not surprissed you are affected by it, since research shows it's common among high-achieving, exceptionally smart women, and well, that's who you are" he explains, smiling at you as he ends the sentence

"And even if you are getting help, I'm still gonna be here for you, I want to, because you are my friend, and that's what friends do" he continues, his hand holding both of hers again.

"Thank you, Spencer, really. I don't know how i got so lucky to have such a great friend" she tells him, standing up and wrapping him in a tight hug

He hugs her back and can't help but notice how soft her skin feels against him, the smell of lavender and honey in her hair, how her head rests perfectly under his chin. Control yourself, you weirdo he thinks to himself.

She continues hugging him for a few seconds and when she finally breaks the hug, her hand still on his arms, smiling up at him.

"I don't wanna kick you out, but I think we really need to sleep" he says, trying no to look at how puffy and pink her lips are after crying

"Yeah, you are right" she agrees, blinking softly. "I feel like I've been run over by a truck"

Spencer chuckles and walks her to the door "You'll get used to it" he jokes as she steps out of the room

"I hope so" she smiles again "Sleep tight, Spence, and thank you again for being such a good friend"

"No need to thank me, sleep well" he says, watching as she turns around and walks down the hallway

Friends. The word keeps spinning in his head.

I don't want to be just friends he thinks.

But that's clearly all she wants, so he'll have to live with it until his feelings eventually go away.

The sudden vibration of your phone startles you, and when you pick it up, you see your best friend's name on the screen. Despite being already quiet drunk, you decide to pick up, you know she's been really worried about you.

"Hey, Inez" you yell into the phone, trying to be heard over the noise of the bar "I'm fine, I'm just having some drinks"

"Where are you? I've been trying to reach you all day!" you hear her voiced on the phone, clearly filled with worry "Are you in a bar?"

"Yes, I'm in a bar and I am drunk!! I deserve to be drunk" you can feel your slurred voice breaking "I'll call you when I get home, don't worry about me!" You hang up the phone without giving her a chance to respond

You turn off your phone and throw it on the table asking the bartender for another drink, your mind made up on getting as drunk as possible.

"I can't believe my ears" you hear a deep voice speak behind you

Confused, you turn around, and you are shocked to find Matthew Murdock standing in front of you. He looks exactly the way you remembered him: still wearing his signature red glasses, and, if it's even possible, even more handsome than ever.

"Oh my God, Matt Murdock!! I can't believe it's you" you yell, getting up from your seat and wrapping him in a hug "I haven't seen you in like, what, 5 years"?

Matt chuckles and returns the hug "I thought i recognized you voice" he says "How have you been? What brings you to this part of town?"

You manage to guide him to the seat across from you and can't help but smile at him, the memories of your days of college together returning like an avalanche.

"Well, honestly...it's been a really shit week, and I actually came here to drink and weep" you laugh drunkenly at your own tragedy "But tell me about you, how is everything? You look greaaat!"

Matthew frowns, concerned "I'm good, I have a law firm with Foggy Nelson, remember him?" he responds "How much did you--?

"Foggy!! Oh is he here? He is such a good guy, is he here? I want to say hello to him too!" you interrupt him, your eyes searching for your former classmate around the bar.

"No, you just missed him" Matt states, noticing your very inhebriated state

"Aww, that's too bad, Foggy was always so nice! Tell him I said hi when you see him" you laugh at your own sentence, realizing the word you just used "Well, you know, not actually see him...when you are in his...presence, I mean. Sorry!! I'm a little drunk"

"Don't worry about it, and yeah, I noticed you aren't totally sober" he says "Let me get you a cab, I think you've had enough for tonight"

"NOO, Matt, listen, listen" you complain "This is therapeu--the-ra-peuteeec--God that word is hard!! Alcohol is good for me tonight, I need it!"

"That's enough therapy for today, let's go, I'll go with you" his voice is almost comanding, and you feel to dizzy to keep arguing with him

"Fine, fine, I'll go" you finish your drink hastily "I'll continue tomorrow" you chuckle at your silly little joke

Matt helps you stand up and guides you toward the exit, where he flags a taxi and makes you go in.

"What's your adress?" he asks once you are inside the cab. You mumble a response and Matt repeats it out loud for the driver.

Once the cab starts moving, you suddenly feel very sleepy, and you unconsciusly lean your head into Matt's shoulder.

"Matt, you are also very good, like Foggy" you whisper "Please don't tell him but I think you are also like, really pretty"

Matt chuckles "Don't worry, I won't tell him"

Matt's POV

The cab stops in front of the adress she gave him, and Matt helps her out of the cab. He notices her struggling with the keys, still drunk, and waits patiently for her to open the door.

"Home sweet home" she says, finally unlocking the door and getting into the apartment.

"You know Matt? I don't like this apartment anymore" she conffesses, sitting on the couch and taking off her right boot

"He used to live here with me" she continues, moving on to the other foot "And then he brough her here. And they fucked!!. In MY bed. And i saw him!!

Matt carefully sits down on the couch next to her "I'm so sorry" he says, placing a hand on her shoulder "You didn't deserve to go through that"

"And that's not all. I got FIRED this morning" she chokes, tears now steaming down her face

Matt is speechless, not quite sure what to say to this waterfall of confessions and tears. "God, I'm so sorry, y/n"

She keeps sobbing and he wraps her into a hug, not knowing what else to do or say.

"Thank you Matty, you are so sweet" she manages to say, returning the hug. "I can't even sleep on that bed anymore, it feels so wrong"

He can feel her pain. He can hear her broken voice, smell the salty tears, and feel her shaky hands on his. He decides he can't leave her alone in that state, she is too vulnerable and still quite drunk.

"It's okay" he whispers "Do you want me to stay with you? I think you need a shoulder to cry on"

"Yes, please stay, Matty, I don't wanna be alone right now" she pleads, hugging him again and burying her head on his chest "I'm so sorry about all of this, this is so embarrassing" she mumbles against his chest

"It's all good, just lie down here on the couch" he instructs, moving so she can do so.

She nods and complies, covering herself with a blanket that was hanging from the corner on the couch

"Where do you want me to--" he stars asking

"Here" she cuts him off, moving to the side and leaving him some space on the couch

He takes off his suit jacket and glasses and lies down next to her, the distance between them almost non-existant.

"Do you mind if I put my arm here?" he asks, wrapping his arm around your shoulder "It's kinda crowded here"

"No, it's fine, get comfortable" she whispers, covering him too with the blanket

They spend a few moments in comfortable silence, his right arm wrapped around her shoulder, her body resting against his side

Reader's POV

You notice a shiny silver chain hanging from his neck, ending in a crucifix resting on his chest, hidden behind his white dress shirt. Without thinking, your fingers move towards the and caress it softly

"You still a catholic?" you whisper, your eyes fixed on the small cross

"You could say so, yeah" he answers, his hand slowly moving up and down your shoulder

"I wish I could have faith" you confide in him "But everything is so hard right now, it's hard to trust that God is out there"

Matt grunts in agreement "I get it. I don't have faith all the time. But I choose to believe that God hears my prayers, and that they will be answered"

"Can you pray for me, Matt?" you ask, your voice barely a whisper, your fist closing around the cross.

He puts his hand on top of your closed one "Of course" he answers

You take a deep, shaky breath and finally fall asleep, feeling Matt's lips softly touching your forehead.