yes it is
The world would be so much better if people would just unironically write stuff like this. I’m tired of books that Take Themselves Seriously

#extradirty
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@mickeyblueeyes3
yes it is
The world would be so much better if people would just unironically write stuff like this. I’m tired of books that Take Themselves Seriously

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You know. It’d explain a lot if dragon eggs were this impenetrable substance that only could break down and safely release the fledgling if it was sufficiently surrounded by gold. And for centuries dragons just needed to dig down and find a gold vein in the mountains, and they’d return and return and return to the same area, up until human were like: hey, we have no actual use for this super soft inert metal, but we like it, so it’s ours now. And the dragons were then forced to go: hello! I see your capitalist nightmare society is hoarding gold because it decided it had value for no reason. We need it for actual reasons. We would like ti back now.
Humanity: We sort of based our entire value system off it? So no?
Dragons: But you aren’t using it and we need it.
Humanity: Sweet. Can you pay us for it?
Dragons: Do you accept UNENDING FIRE TERROR as payment?
So humanity was just like: ooh noooo. The dragons just like sleeping on top of gold for no reeeeason. They stole all of it because they are just terrible and greedy. So terrible. Our gold. Oh no. We need it. For richness. Oh nooooooo. You have to save us then you can be rich too.
@editorincreeps
that explains EVERYTHING
Then dragons invented paper money, and became banks. Instead of having to carry your own heavy gold around, or have to store it safely away from robbers and thieves, you deposit it at a dragon nest, and get written bills certifying your ownership of so-and-so much gold in return. In theory, dragons will pay you back your gold if you want to withdraw it, but most people never bother; it’s far more convenient to exchange bills and promissory notes.
Dragon bankers is the best idea ever.
I am fine with this real-life headcanon.
working in retail
I have NEVER seen a more accurate representation of this satanic industry
“i have a pretty sensitive gag reflex”

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“i have a pretty sensitive gag reflex”
i don’t even know what to say
*gavin noises*
These vines are my life
i am on the fucking floor DYING
Let us watch as this man’s life devolves
This video reads like this man has been placed under a curse and he is physically incapable of resisting the cup shuffle

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The fact that we use a sound (*crickets*) to indicate silence must be confusing to deaf people.
this one time I ran a red light on mistake and I didn’t notice it was red until it was too late so I just ran the light screeching like an angry pterodactyl the entire time
a cop was at the intersection so he pulled me over and when he came up to my window he was wheezing cause he was laughing so hard and he said
“ok so i know you ran a red light and that’s really bad and you should never do it again but i’m not gonna give you a ticket cause that was the funniest thing i’ve ever seen and my partner can’t get out of the car cause he’s laughing so hard he’s about to pee himself”
i forgot that i’d had my window open when i ran the red light and the cop told me that all he heard from my car was this really high-pitched “screeeeeeeeeeEEEEEEEAAAHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhh”
and that’s how i got out of getting a ticket for running a red light
remember when we had to get out of bed to get on the internet
Here’s a good boy getting very excited about finally catching his ball. 14/10 please say you’re proud of him
via tiktok: @redtuque

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I wonder if Vader ever found out that the droid who carried the Death Star plans was Artoo.
I can just imagine him thinking: “This explains everything. My men didn’t stand a chance.”
The most accurate thing ever
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