I Am A Woman Of The Night

As Mother’s Day approaches, my thoughts are all on you. How in awe I am of your courage and realness and ability to adapt.

Most moms get to wrap up first owies with bandaids and kisses when their babies have fallen off a tricycle or are getting immunizations in the pediatricians office. My moms cling to their babies fingers offering a pacifier with sugar water desperate to ease any pain that our constant poking brings. Most moms get to breastfeed and learn their babies in the privacy of their homes. My moms are thrown into a public life with their babies during one of the most insecure periods they will ever face. Most moms get to say their first good byes while leaving their babies in the care of grandma or a trusted friend. My moms have to say their first good byes minutes after their babies are born and entrust them to strangers. Most moms get to rock their babies to sleep with ease. My moms get to schedule one hour long holding session a day that will involve 2-3 people maneuvering and carrying wires and tubes and thingamabobs, all to get their baby onto their chest for a few precious snuggles. And they pray that today will be a good day and their baby will not merely stay stable during their hugs, but will love them and burrow in deep. Most moms are sleep deprived from on demand feeding schedules throughout the night. My moms are sleep deprived from a relentless pumping schedule on top of anxiety-riddled tossing and turning full of fear and heartache.

But feel no pity for these women. There’s a resilience to my moms. A beautiful determination and steady patient fight. My moms, the moms of the littlest, earliest girls and boys, are straight up bad asses. Some with fortitude and bravado, some with peace and faith. My moms choose joy, one day at a time. They each teach me what motherhood is.

Happy Mother’s Day to you. Thank you for allowing me to care for your babies.

“You can always assume one thing about your clients; and that is that they are doing their best. Always assume everyone is doing their best. And if they’re having a day where their best just isn’t that great, or their best doesn’t look like your best, you have to be okay with that.”