Michelle

The streets of Birmingham streets were busy and tonight wasn’t different, you were making your way to the Garrison after receiving a call from a frantic man begging to call them. Saying it was an honest mistake and it would never happened again. You tried to calm the man down, but it was not a success. The only thing that you learned was that Isaiah had gotten into some sort of fight. Isaiah always pushed his luck, you just hopped he didn’t push it too far. There were only two places he would go, to your home or the Garrison and he obviously wasn’t with you.

When you walked through the Garrison you went straight to the the private room and when you walked in you saw him Michael, Arthur, and John sitting around the table. The had blood and bruises on them and still looked as if they conquered the world.

“Are you fucking mental!?” “Y/N chill.” You glared at him as the words left his mouth and scoffed at his pure audacity.

“Don’t worry love, we’ve taken care of it.” “Arthur.” “Yeh?” “Shut up.” “Right. Right.” You loved Arthur, but you did not need him to talk right now. You shifted your attention back to your cousin as he shifted in his seat underneath your gaze along with Michael. You crossed your arms and walked closer to them.

“Stop Being a fucking idiot or give you something worse than some bruises. Do you understand me?” “Yeah. Yeah I understand.” You looked between him and Michael and sighed. “Come by the house before you both go home.” You turned your attention back to Arthur and John, giving them a small smile.

If it wasn’t so late and you had the energy you would have stayed, caught up with them, and maybe have a couple of drinks.

“I have to go, but I’ll see you both soon?” You asked hoping it would be true. “We’ll have a drink yeh.” John replied with that mischievous smirk on his face. “I’ll have to prepare myself then.” “Have a goodnight love.”

You waved goodbye to them, and as you made your way out of them room you saw him sitting at the bar with a drink in his hand. Most likely an Irish whiskey, which turned out to be the only drink you deemed acceptable. You stopped in your tracks when you noticed him, it had been so long since you had seen him let alone spoken to him. The war changed so many things including your relationship.

You debated with yourself on whether should approach him, on one hand you wanted to ask him something on the other you weren’t completely sure if he would even want to speak to you. Before you had even finished the debate your feet were moving as if to tell you to just get over with. You took the seat next to him, you didn’t even have to say anything and a drink was sat in front of you with a warm smile and a wink from the bartender. You took a small sip before saying anything.

“Hi Tommy.” You said softly, looking at the side of his face. “Y/N.” He didn’t even look at you, just stared straight ahead. A scoff escaped you as you turned back to your drink, deciding to skip the pleasantries.

“I have to ask for a favor.” His drink was paused at his lips before he finally looked at you. “A favor?” “It’s Isaiah, he’s getting into too much trouble, starting fights, intentionally putting himself in danger. And he’s doing it because he thinks he wont get hurt as long as he’s a peaky blinder. But being a peaky blinder doesn’t stop people from looking at his skin first.” You sighed turning your head back to Tommy, meeting his intense blue eyes. “I don’t want you to coddle him or keep tabs on him. I just want you to talk to him, knock some sense into him. I don’t want to come home one day and find him dead.”

You couldn’t read his face, didn’t know what he was thinking. It made you nervous, not being able to read him any more, the war had taken the man that you knew. It had destroyed him and replaced him with a colder version a harder version.

“I’ll talk to him.” You smiled softly at his response. “Thank you. I… I hope to see you soon. It would be nice to catch up.” He nodded his head curtly before facing the bar again. You didn’t push any further just simply got up and made your way home.

It was deep into the night when the boys finally decided to show up. You had been curled up on your couch music playing and a good book to keep you company when they arrived. You let them in guiding the to your living room.

“You finally decided to show up.” “Sorry Y/N. We lost track of time. “ You hummed at there response grabbing the first aid kit that you already had sat out. “No doubt letting Arthur and John shove drinks in your faces. Sit down.” You started with Michael, dabbing the blood off his lip and making sure to cleanup any other wounds you saw.

“How do you know my cousins?” “I grew up with them.” You said plainly. “You were like really closer to Tommy right?” Isaiah asked making your hand pause slightly at his question. “Umm yeah.” “Really?” You finished cleaning them quickly and closed the kit before answering.

“We'll I was close with them all, but yes Tommy and I were the closest. He taught me how to ride horses and shoot, and spent a lot of time with each other.” You sighed. “When they went off to war I would write to all of them and they would write back, but slowly they stopped responding. When they got back it was hard, they all had been affected by what happened in battle, especially Tommy…” You drifted off into your thoughts before clearing your throat and bringing your attention back to them.

“It’s getting late. You boys should go home.” You walked them both to the door, giving Isaiah a quick hug before he left. “Be safe.” “We will.”

That night you lied in bed with a heaviness on your chest and little hope in your heart. You never waited on him, but you held on to hope that he would come around, but now you didn't what to do. You turned onto your side and closed your eyes, hoping sleep would bring you some clarity.

Terror.

That’s what you felt at this very moment. You were on the ground, hands shaking, trying your best to stop the bleeding. It just kept coming, and in the midst of the gunfire and chaos that was surrounding you both. Grace grabbed your hand.

“Please… Take care of them.” She struggled to get out. “Please.” Words refused to escape your lips and as you stared into her eyes you gave her a soft nod.

This was the first time you had actually been this close to death. You had never seen life leave someone's eyes or witness them take their last breath. Poll appeared next to you quickly, trying her best to ease Grace’s pain, but it was too late. She was gone. You looked down at your blood covered hands and dress and a soft cry left your lips, you might not have liked Grace, but she didn’t deserve this. She didn’t deserve to be taken from her son or husband so soon.

Weeks had passed since that night. During that time you stayed at his home helping with Charles, and Tommy was dealing with the hardest thing in the world. Grief.

In the midst of all the craziness and pain he had entrusted you with two of his businesses: a bar and a restaurant. It took a lot for him to ask for your help so of course you agreed. You spent a lot of sleepless nights learning about both and a proper way to run them, but you didn’t mind because when you closed your eyes the images of that night haunted your sleep, you could still feel her blood and the look of her face was engraved into your brain now. 

The hardest thing of all was telling the sweet boy you had grown to love that his mother was never coming home. When he looked at you with those big beautiful eyes you almost broke into tears. 

You stood next to the window outside of his office waiting for Tommy, Ada, Micheal, Poll stood in the room with you, but you paid them no mind. When he came into view you let out a soft breath and turned your head towards them.

“He’s back.” You said before turning your gaze back to Tommy’s figure. “Was he out there all night?” Micheal asked concern dripping from his voice.

“Every night since the funeral. He comes back in the morning to see Charles and feed the horses and when dark comes he’s off again.” You explained as you finally drifted away from the window.

When you would see Tommy during the day you wouldn’t prod him, give condolence, or tell him everything would be alright. You just sat in silence if he needed something you were just there. You hated the pain that he was going through and wished you could just take it all away.

"How's the babe?” Poll asked as she put her paper down. You took in a sharp breath and sighed. “Asking for his mother at night.”

Ada stepped in, apparently Tommy didn’t want to do a regular family meeting, you looked at her confused as she said the order Tommy wanted to see everyone in.

“ He made a list he wants to see you and Micheal first, then you Y/N.” She said looking between the three of you. “What about John and Arthur?” You asked.

Before she could answer Tommy walked in, not giving anyone a second glance as he made his way into his office. After a couple of seconds Poll and Micheal stood and made their way inside. John and Arthur came soon after ready to go inside the office.

“What’s going on?” John asked. “Umm… Well you see.” Before she could finish her sentence once again Poll and Micheal walked out from the office.

“Right, let's go.” “We’ve already seen him.” John paused for a second, before slowly looking over at everyone. Confusion and hurt flashed behind his eyes.

“What?” He spoke. Ada cleared her throat and brushed off imaginary dust off her skirt. “He wanted to see everyone in a particular order.” She tried to explain to him. “And … Y/N is next.” Ada said your name warily as she met her brother's gaze.

     “I thought this was a Fuckin’! family meeting. All of us… Together…. I thought." John trailed off hurt by this whole entire ordeal. He was truly trying his best for an answer, one that wouldn't hurt his heart.

     “John.. He's grieving… To see everyone together would be too much.” Poll spoke softly as she attempted to defuse his anger.

      She looked over at you for a second, nodding her head over to the door for you to go in. You took a deep breath and slowly stood, avoiding John's eyes in the process. You understood his anger, you really did, but he had a bad habit of projecting it at the wrong people even when he was younger. The tension in the air became thick and you could tell they all began to hold their breaths waiting for your response.

       “You're not even family.” He said bitterly as you walked by. His words made you pause and your heart began to ache, you took a small breath and looked at him over your shoulder.

        “I know you’re angery and I understand where it's coming from, but I will cut your fuckin’ tongue and make you eat it. Don't test me.” You spoke, voice low and eyes hard. You didn't wait for a response, just simply continued to make your way to Tommy.

      When you walked in he was looking down and shuffling through some paperwork, not looking up even once. You walked in further and took a seat across from him.

       “Mornin’ Tom.” you said softly. He stayed quiet for a minute longer before he finally looked up at you.

        “How's the bar and restaurant?” He asked. “ They've been good. We have a loyal clientele, and I made sure we have rotating entertainment so they won't get bored for both and we've only had one incident. No one was hurt and it was handled quickly.”

         Tommy nodded his head absent-mindedly as you explained to him everything that had transpired in this short period of time.

         “How would you like to travel?” He asked nonchalantly. You blinked a couple of times before speaking.

         “Sorry?” “I’m thinking of expanding to Wales and Scotland. So do you like to travel.” He said matter-of-factly. “Are… Are you sure?” You asked cautiously. “I am. So are you in.” You nodded your head at first.

         “Yes.” “Good. I'll get Micheal to draw a new contract.” And just like that he was done speaking.

          He looked down at the papers that piled his desk once more, you looked him over. You looked at the bags under his eyes, the way his face was set in a permanent grimace, and you looked at the way his hand would twitch every once in a while.

           “If you ever need anything I'm here for you. I… I hope you know that.” You said with a serious look on your face.

           You slowly got up from your seat and began to make your  way to the door and just when you were about to open it you heard his voice. Soft and low. 

  “Thank you.”

               After everyone had seen him you all somehow found your way into the servant area to in some way have your own family meeting. It was nice for what it was, you sat on the floor with Ada's son playing with the blocks as the others began to pour themselves some drinks. The nice moment was quickly ruined when Finn ran down, panicked. 

             “Tommy’s gone. Swear to God in a wagon with Johnny Dogs.”

              Your sank and you all quickly made your way to the front of the home, the boys ran after the wagon and you stood there. Your breathing became shorter and shorter with each breath you took and it was becoming difficult for you to stand up right. You never thought he would do something like this, it worried you to the bone that he would do something like this.

              You only began to calm down slightly when Poll came by your side and placed her hand on your back.

              “It's okay. Let him go… The note says he'll be back. That's the important thing.” She led you back to the house and you let her.

    He'll be back.

I hope you've been enjoying this story, there will be 16 chapter (excluding the prologue) and I've already finished writing chapter 10! After I finish posting the rest of this series I have another one that will be coming very soon after hopefully.

Days had passed since the wedding and you had eventually caught up with Lizzie, she divulged what had taken place at the reception after she slipped away from you and Poll. What she had to say slowly began to piss you off.

“He acts like he has some sort of claim on me. Like all I am is fuckin' property. He's married for God's sake!” She said pacing back and forth as her voice gradually got louder.

“I love the boy, I truly do, but if you would like I can slowly make his life a living hell.” You spoke sincerely. She chuckled lightly, stopping in her tracks and turning her attention to you.

“I just wish he would let me move on.” “I know and I'll do my best to make sure he stays in his place.” You said as you took her hands in yours. “Thanks.” “Of course.”

Unfortunately John didn't stop there, he had to take things a step too far like always. Word was quickly going around that John had threatened to shoot Angel Changretta and you prayed that nothing bad would come of it.

When Arthur heard he called on Poll and you to reason with John and apologize and make things right to avoid a war., but when you both made it to his office to talk it didn’t go exactly to plan.

“Did we run Kempton or not?” John asked, only giving us a small glance. “ Danny Lee got drunk. Instead of injecting the horses with cocaine he decided to share it with his cousins.” Poll responded. “Jesus Christ.” “Tell Esme to speak to him.” She added. You on the other hand were waiting to discuss the situation at hand. So you sat quietly just looking at him waiting for Poll to begin and to find the right time to chime in.

“Look before I start I don't want you to do anything about this.” “About what?” He questioned, finally giving you both his attention.

“Angel Changretta.” You said simply, crossing your arms. “What? He’s no bigger than two pence worth of change.” He said defensively. “ Well he heard you threatened to shoot him in the knees. Now he's going around Nechelles telling everybody he's going to kill you. You crossed a line John.” Poll said clearly frustrated by his actions.

John on the other hand was getting agitated himself and what you had to say surely wouldn't help.

“You don't own her, John. You're a married man and you're acting like a little boy that got his toy stolen.” You said with a sharp look, when he met your eyes he flinched and quickly avoided eye contact. You sighed and crossed your arms before speaking again.

“She isn't property John and punishing her for moving on won't bring her back to you.” He shifted uncomfortably in his seat before huffing. “What does Arthur say?” He questioned. Poll spoke this time as she walked closer to his desk.

“Apologize. We own the city, but we don't need to rub everybody's noses in it. If the old man decides to make a stand he might get Sabini feeling sentimental.” “What does Tommy say?” John responded, trying to grasp at any hope of justification for his actions.

“He left me in charge.” Poll said simply. “And what do you say?” He said looking between the both of you.

“ Compromise. Lizzie, against my advice, will cut things off and apologize on your behalf. No one will lose face.” You said. “ For Fuck sake!” John spoke frustatedly. “Watch your fucking tone.” You said as a disgusted look crossed your face. He was acting like a child and it was starting to piss you off.

“ I'll tak his fuckin’ face. How ‘bout that!” He said as he slammed his hand on his desk and stood up in the process storming out. You rolled your eyes and turned your attention to Poll as she took a deep breath and sighed.

“ I told that fucking idiot it wouldn't go well.” She said, referring to Arthur. “At least he let us finish speaking before storming out like a toddler.” You said trying to look on the bright side.

A couple of days or so passed after the talk with John and you sat at Lizzie's desk drinking tea with her when Poll had called you over letting you know that Tommy wanted to talk to the both of you.

Now you were sitting in a little meeting with Poll, John, Arthur and of course Tommy, you had a small inkling that this conversation was not going to go well.

" John, you cut Angel Changretta even though Arthur told you to apologize and Poll, and Y/N told you to compromise. You chose not to listen to Mr. Apologize and Ms. Compromise, now I got an Italian walking around saying he's going to kill my brother. So what do we do John.”

This was the first time you had heard about this honestly and you slowly turned your head to John and stared daggers into the side of his face as he shifted nervously. Before you could even think you moved and whacked John in the head with your bare hands.

“What the fuck!” “You are so Fuckin' stupid I swear if the Italians don't kill you I will!” You shouted at him. “Alright, love calm down.” Tommy said with a small smirk on his lips. When you had finally settled back down in your seat, he continued.

“The only way to guarantee peace is by making the prospect of war seem helpless. Do you want to bring the house down Arthur.” Tommy said and your mouth fell open at his words. Starting something with the Italians was like playing with fire. If you keep a good enough distance it's fine, but once you get too close you will be set ablaze.

“Are you serious Tommy?” “I am.” You scoffed and laughed at his stupidity. “You really want to risk everything you built over what? Pride? I can't fuckin' believe this.” You stood up grabbing your purse with you.

“Where are you going.” “Away from your stupidity, I'm not risking my life over this shit. John had no right to start this Lizzie isn't an inanimate object or dog you can control. All of this is because John can't fucking grow up and your encouraging him. You know what the Italians can do. What they are capable of.” You sighed and shook your head before continuing.

“ Nothing good will come of this. War doesn't placate people, it brings them together to defeat their common enemy and at the moment it you and John. I'm not going to sit here and let you believe that I agree."

Little did you know that John's actions would lead to a tragic night filled with grief and pain. A little part of you blamed him for everything.

You hated that you were right.

Nothing good comes from fighting with the Italians.

You sat in the pews of the church next to Poll, you both had a sour look on your faces at the fact that this was all happening. He was marrying Grace, and on top of all of it her family was sat across from you all in their uniforms as if to intimidate you. You could feel their eyes constantly on you, you weren’t surprised nor did you make yourself small or scarce to placate them. You sat in the front row tall and proud next to Poll never once giving them the satisfaction of seeing crumble.

The looks they gave was something you were used to, though no one would out right say anything to you as you got older. The boys were always there, to shield you away from outsiders' words. By the time you had turned fifteen the looks had stopped and no one dared to even say anything nasty towards you. A soft smile grew on your lips at the memory, because you knew that even in the face of Grace’s family you would be protected.

Tommy stood at the front, you could tell he was nervous. His eyes were darting around and his fingers kept fiddling with his cuff links. You, well you were trying your best to be as supportive as you could, before you entered the chapel you spoke with him. Told him you were happy for him and that Grace was perfect. You both knew you were lying, but he still gave you the smile that was always reserved for you and gave you a quick hug.

An alter boy pulled you from your thoughts as he was only handing out the music to your side of the pew, when he approached Poll and you a grin began to sneak on your lips.

“Some of us know the words.” Poll said and you couldn’t help yourself, a small chuckle left your lips. The boy quickly moved to you and you gave him a sincere smile.

“I know the words love. Thank you.” He gave you a sweet smile and nodded his head as he moved on.

“The whole lot of em’ wore their uniforms.” You said as you leaned slightly over to Poll. “To scare us no doubt. But we aren’t that easily scared, are we love?” You nodded your head in agreement and sat back.

Soon the choir began to sing and your uncle walked through the doors. You glanced over at burgess and a laugh left your lips at their reaction. Their gasps and horrified looks were just too hilarious. The laugh wasn’t loud enough to carry it was minuscule even, so Tommy’s eyes must have already been on you because when you turned your attention back to him he was giving you a pointed look. As if to tell you to behave. A sweet smile was on your face now and you could tell he was resisting to give you one in return. Eventually you broke eye contact, his intense blue gaze being too much for you.

The wedding went on, and you could feel bile growing in your throat at the site of her, and Poll well…. If looks could kill Grace would be six feet under already. When the ceremony was finished pictures were taken, you stood off to the side at first until John stopped everything and pulled you at the last second. You chuckled at him and smiled and he gave you a devilish grin in return.

As you walked through the doors of Tommy’s new home you had to resist the urge to gawk at the extravagance of it. It was grand and entirely too big for three people, you assumed this is what Grace wanted it screamed her.

You walked with Poll laughing and joking about a multitude of things when he made his way to you both, with a serious look on his face.

“Alright Poll. Tell the Lee girls I’ve counted all the paintings.” You covered your mouth as you hid a laugh, you quickly pursed your lips holding it in as Tommy looked between the both of you.

“ Some people are here that are not on the list.” He said lowly, and before either of you could say anything he was walking away.

“Not invited, huh.” “Do you know what he’s been up to Poll?” “He’s barely told me anything.” She replied.

Eventually you both made it to the table sitting next to Lizzie as John began to make a joke, one that the Calvary would not appreciate. Poll and Lizzie quickly grabbed your attention.

“Very strange indeed.” Poll said as she looked over at a man across the table, he had a timid look about him.

“He’s looking over.” Lizzie whispered back, and took a sip of her drink. “What?” “He’s coming over.” Lizzie added. You followed both of their gazes and you realized they were talking of two very different men. Poll did the same and let out an exasperated sigh.

“Fuck. It’s the wrong one Izz.” Poll said faintly. “What do you mean the wrong one? How many are there?” Lizzie questioned in surprise and you just chuckled at this whole entire interaction. This night was already entertaining woth John getting under the Burgess' skin and the reception wasn’t even close to being over.

“There are two givin’ me the eye. I prefer the other one, seems harmless.” “It must be that lipstick Tommy brought from New York.” You joked. “Drawing them like a moth to a light.” Lizzie said as she laughed.

The man was standing next to you and as he spoke you could hear the thick Russian accent he had. That immediately caught your attention and you shifted in your seat. When he asked to join Poll you stood up with Lizzie, but before you fully rose you gave her a light kiss on the cheek and whispered.

“Be careful, I think he’s our uninvited guest.” You pulled back with a small smile trying not to alert anyone around you. No upsets tonight, at least that was supposed to be the plan.

The night dragged on and you resorted to just walking around until Poll found you and filled you in and as you both were getting some punch. You heard Grace’s voice and a headache already started to form.

“Polly. Y/N.” “Hello Grace.” Poll said with a fake, tight lipped smile. You on the other hand looked at her as if she had something on her face until you remembered Tommy’s words and him asking for no trouble for today. So you followed Poll’s lead and a fake smile was planted on your face.

“Grace. You look absolutely beautiful.” You gritted out. “Yes, welcome to the family.” Poll added. Grace looked between the both of you and crossed her arms.

“Oh I see Tommy’s orders. No upsets tonight.” Grace concluded. “Your hair, everything, is just beautiful.” Poll continued. You on the other hand couldn’t stand being around her for another moment.

"Congratulations Grace. Hopefully this doesn’t end with someone being back stabbed.” You with a sickeningly sweet smile and proceed to walk away.

Hours had passed and you mingled with some of the younger girls who were feeling a bit rebellious for the night and would quickly regret it come morning. A sigh left your lips as the party ended and sun began to peek out and as you made your way to the vehicle that was already ready for you Tommy was there to guide you in. You gave him a sleepy smile as you sat down and he gave you one in return.

“Will I see you later today?” He asked. You hummed at his question. “I’m not sure I think I will be in a coma once I hit my bed.” You joked. “Well. Get some good rest.” “You too.” He looked at you for a bit longer.

“Thank you for coming.” He said. “I wouldn’t have missed it.” You said truthfully, even though you hated her, you would never allow her to cause a rift between you two.

“Night.” “Night.” He stepped back from the car slightly and closed the car door. Once you were dropped off at home, sleep consumed you and laid a blanket over your mind.

You had heard whispers of her name, but you had never seen her face, and you were glad you never had, when you heard of the pain and hurt she caused as she left the city to escape the wrath that was bound to find her. She was many things, things you couldn't say unless you wanted to be banned from heaven's doors, so you just settled on a simple word. Rat.

     So you thought it was rumors at first, make believe when you were told of her pregnancy and that she was back for Tommy, and that Tommy had taken her back. You laughed as you sat in Polly's living room telling her of the craziness. Tommy wasn't that easily persuaded surely, he wouldn't let the snake back into the garden, right?

      The look on Pol’s face told you everything you needed to know and your laughs stopped and a look of shock crossed your face as you slumped back into your seat.

       “He took her back.” She said as she got up from her seat and made her way to the liquor to fix you both a drink.

       “What?’ You said as your eyebrows knitted together. “Said he wanted to do right by her. That fucking idiot.” She said walking back over to you and handing you a drink, which you took gratefully as you took a swig.

        “Fucking idiot.” You echoed. “He plans to marry her.” She spoke cautiously. Your drink paused at your lips for just a second, but you were sure Pol noticed, she noticed everything. You took a big sip before looking back at her.

       “He's marrying her… After everything.” You said defeatedly at the situation at hand. “It won't last love, she's not like us.” “It'll last…”

         If Tommy was in love with her, he would make sure it would last. He always loved hard. That was one of the things that connected you with each other. You would go to the end of the for Isaiah and any of the Shelby's so you were sure he would do the same for her.

         Later that night you found yourself at the Garrison, having a drink as you tried to process everything. You were three drinks when you heard Arthur and his distinct loud boisterous voice. He obviously had a couple of drinks in him or  had taken something, but only God knew the answer to that.

        He had quickly laid his eyes on you and your name filled the room, you chuckled lightly at how ridiculous he could be. You turned toward his voice and smiled as you got up from your seat and made your way to him. 

         “It’s been ages love.” He shouted as he gave you a bear hug, you laughed and smiled as you wrapped your arms around him. “I saw you a couple of days ago.” He finally pulled away and smiled down at you.

        “That's too long!” you laughed again as he began to guide you to the room, you glanced behind him as you walked in tandem and you noticed Finn, John, and Micheal. Once you made it inside you sat down next to Arthur, giving him your full attention again.

       “How are you?” “Oh I've been great love. Absolutely soaring.” You chuckled. “I can see that.” You said as you nudged him in the arm. You looked around and your eyes set on Finn. He had grown since the last time you saw him.

          “It's been awhile since I've seen you. Do you remember me?” You questioned with a smile. Finn nodded softly as he looked at you, he had always been a sweet kid. He was always smiling and soft spoken, never too rambunctious or rough.

           “Yeah, I remember you. It's great to see you again.” “Its good to see you too love.” Before you could continue the conversation John's voice filled the room.

        “Alright! Let's have some drinks!” “Yeah!” The boys cheered and you shook your head at them and an endearing smile found its way on your lips.

         You all were a couple of drinks in within minutes a soft filling filled the air as you looked at the men in front of you. You were happy, You looked at John with a playful smile as you spoke.

         “You went and got married on me.” “It all happened so suddenly. I would've invited you love if I had more time Love.” You nodded your head, you knew all about how his marriage began and how quickly it all happened, it still stung though not being able to see it.

           “ I would love to meet her.” You said and you soon saw a big smile grace his lips as he nodded his head. “Stop by Small Heath sometime. She's there most of the time.” “I will then.”

          Hours had passed and you hadn't even noticed, you got to hear the story of Micheal and how he found his way here, it was nice to catch up to talk. After many drinks and laughs later you said your goodbyes and made your way out of the room. As you walked out you bumped into a tall, blonde woman.

          “Oh, I'm so sorry. I didn't see you.” You apologized. She looked you over coldly with a look you had seen throughout your whole life. Disgust.  It was soon replaced quickly with a fake smile.

        “It's alright. Is Tommy in there?” “Umm… No. Just his brothers.” You said, as you looked at her longer it finally hit you. “Your Grace right?” “I am.” You hummed at her response and you returned her fake smile with a cold look of your own.

           “Well. Have fun finding him.” You said before turning away and walking out.

           You made your way with a sour taste in your mouth and as you approached your home the devil himself sat at your doorstep.

           “What are you doing here Tommy?” “Just wanted to see you.” He said as he stood. You walked past him to open your door. “Let you know I wasn't dead.” You chuckled at his comment as you walked inside, him following closely behind.

          “Have some whiskey with me?” “Yeah.” You lead him to the living room as you sit your keys and purse down on the way. You got out two glasses and poured the drinks.

            “I Just saw your brothers and Micheal.” He hummed at your words as he took a seat. “John actually invited me to Small Heath to meet his wife.” “Fucking idiot.” Tom breathed out. “What? You don't want me there?” You said playfully as you sat the glass in his hand and sat down aswell.

         “I just don't want you getting caught up in any mess with that side of the business.” He said as he looked down into his drink as if it was the answer and the downfall to everything.

           “I'm a big girl Tommy. I can handle myself.” You said, you looked at him for a couple of seconds longer before speaking again. “Are you alright?” “I'm fine love.” He sighed before looking up and meeting your eyes, he looked like he had so much he wanted to say and he did. There were so many things weighing on his mind and he wanted to tell you it all, but he wouldn't allow himself to.

       “I should get going.” He said as he sat the drink down on a side table and stood. “Oh, Okay.” He began to walk to the door before you could even sit down your own drink. You caught up with him and stood at the door. 

       “Be safe.” You said to him as he walked down the steps. “No promises.”

You had spent all day working at the hospital, you were a care giver for the elderly. You spent most of the day making sure they were comfortable, and the healthiest they could be at this time in their lives. You didn’t mind the work and they didn’t mind you, you often sung to them to calm their nerves when they got antsy or would forget. It was hard work, hard, but good.

You had just gotten home from a long day of work and errands, when you had finally stepped through the door the weight of the day was lifted off your shoulders. Just when you were about to get ready for bed you heard a sharp knock on your door. You weren’t expecting anyone, especially not now at this hour so you cautiously made your way over to the door. As you opened it slowly you were met with his blue eyes.

“Tommy?” You questioned with wide eyes. “Y/N.” He said calmly, his eyes looked tired like something was eating away at him. “Can I come in?” You blinked a couple of times before answering, you really wasn’t expecting this.

“Oh, yes. Come in.” You said as you stepped aside from the door and opened it wider and soon closing it behind him. “Do you want some tea?” You asked as you lead him to the living room. “No.” He said tiredly as he looked around. “I don’t mean to come off rude Tommy, but why are you here?” He took a second before answering as he looked at a picture of you and Isaiah from.

“I’ve been putting my affairs in order.” Your brows furrowed immediately at his words, you walked closer to him. Not so close you were invading his personal space, but close enough that he could still reach out.

“Are you in trouble?” “Aren’t I always.” “I’m serious.” You said sternly. “I know. I know.” He breathed out. “In the event that I die there will be money and a building waiting for you in London. It’s for you to do whatever you want, whatever you need.” He said as he pulled out a cigarette and just before he could light it you reached out your hand and plucked it out his mouth.

“There’s no smoking in my home.” You sighed as you crushed it in half. “We haven’t spoken in years, I’ve barely seen you, and now you show up at more door going on about your death. What’s going on?” You said as you tried to keep a voice calm. “I know… I know that we haven’t spoken in years, but your family and I want to make things right with you.” He looked at you, really looked at you as if he was trying to remember your face. engrave it into his memory.

“Don’t die anytime soon then okay? We have too much to talk about.” “I’ll do my best.” You smiled softly at his response. “I should go.” “Right.” You walked back to the door with and before he walked out he gave you a paper with his wishes on it.

“Goodnight Y/N.” “Goodnight Tommy.” His eyes stayed on you for a little longer before he finally walked away.

You laid in bed that night with a mixture of worried-ness and happiness. You were worried that he had gotten himself in danger that something was at hand that was more malicious than you could comprehend. Happiness because he thought of you and if he lived through whatever it was that had him scared he wanted to mend what was broken. It was hard to go to sleep but once you did you dreamed, dreamed of one of your favorite memories you shared with Tommy.

“Tom! I don’t know about this.” He chuckled at your response as you sat on the back of the horse with a terrified look on your face. “You’re fine Y/N don’t worry.” He patted the horse instead of you which you were a little offended by, but he was only trying to calm her so she didn’t bolt and take you with her.

“Okay, loosen your grip on the reigns and when your ready squeeze your thighs gently and she’ll know to move. I’ll be right here to guide you both.” You let out a nervous breath as you did as he said. When you looked over at him you were meet with this smug smirk plastered on his face.

“Shut up.” “I didn’t say anything!” “It’s written all over your face asshole.” He laughed. “Okay I’m sorry. Come on lets continue.” You squeezed your thighs gently like he said. “That’s good. Just relax a little more Dove. She can feel when your nervous.” After awhile you did your limbs weren’t as stiff and your nerves had calmed. Once they did a small smile appeared.

“Okay. It’s not that bad.” You said softly. “I knew you would like it.” “I didn’t say that.” “You didn’t have to.” You looked over at him and your eyes began to trace his sharp features.

“Why do you like horses so much?” He looked up at you and smiled. “Because they’re free.”

Prologue

It was an early summer morning, the sun was out and the heat was blistering. You stood in the stables sweating and hair sticking to your wet skin, but you ignored it all to sing to Champion. A beautiful gelding that was about seven, he was so sweet and kind, but curly had said he was cursed. You didn’t want to believe him, thought he was wrong, but here were singing to him after hearing he was lame and there was nothing they could. You got the grooming brush and began to comb out his mane as you continued to sing.

‘Found in forgotten fields o flaxen was the leveret in hiding. Rowdy and rigorous they reave and rally. there where the houses once stood.’

“You’re a beautiful singer.” You didn’t have to look to know who it was, his voice always gave him away. “You think?” “Yeah.” he walked closer to you, standing in your peripheral vision.

“It’s time. We have to go.” They had let you say goodbye to Champion before they did anything. You let out a small solemn breath before you said anything .

“But he’s such a sweet boy.” You whispered to yourself, searching for an answer as to why this was happening. “He’s in pain. He’ll suffer more if we let him continue.” Tommy said as he moved to touch the small of your back, rubbing his thumb gently, trying his best to soothe you.

“I know.” “Come on.” You petted Champion once more before following Tommy’s lead and leaving.

He took you to the Garden, yours and his. A place you guys had found and brought you both peace. You sat down bringing your legs to your chest and looked up at the sky, so many things were changing around you and it hurt you to know you couldn’t stop any of it. You wanted things to stay the same forever.

“You leave tomorrow.” you stated meekly. “Yeah.” “Will you write?” You asked as you turned you head to him. “Of course. How could I not.” You gave him a weak smile staring into his eyes, they told you he meant it, that he was telling the truth.