based on a true story

After countless therapies, you’d always thought things will get better, but you and I know the truth that the universe says otherwise. During a heated argument between you and dad, you’ll find yourself calling Kent for the nth time. Ranting for hours and bawling your eyes out because of the unfathomable pain you are having. Kent being the person that he is studied all the patterns of the recurring incident and he leaves you with a question “Are you sure this is the person that you wanted to be?” Sudden memories of your childhood flashes through your mind, things you once have forgotten about.

You are a person full of love, trust, and kindness. You would always put other peoples’ interest first and that’s what I want to change about you. You never liked politics, you just grew up hearing it. You never really liked old school music they were just imposed on you. You never wanted to wear those types of clothes either. Stop making yourself believe that this is the person you wanted to become. I guarantee you, this is not you.

Enjoy your youth, don’t be defined by medals and awards. See learning just like how you’ve always seen it, it’s not a battleground but a place where you could thrive. Nurture your talents and attend those voice lessons, your aunts' unsolicited advice won’t matter in the end. Write songs and play that guitar so you won’t have to hide the truth and make excuses about why you didn’t go.

Lastly, never trust him. The person you’ve always looked up to will create deep wounds that will take time to heal. I’d never want to see you enter that therapy room again with fidgeting fingers and scarred wrists. He’d make you believe that one day, you’ll find a man like him. He’ll hurt you, gaslight, and manipulate you. Never trust him, his wisdom is filled with lies to boost his ego. You are seen as someone who can fulfill his dreams, not as a daughter. You are just a collateral damage for all the mistakes he has done in the past.

Our nation, the Philippines has always been a democratic country thus every citizen is given the right to suffrage. According to the 1987 Constitution, this is something given to each of us, Filipino citizen who is of the right age regardless of social status, educational background, or any other factors. Our Congress is tasked to provide a system for the Philippine elections and it is spearheaded by the Commission of Elections.

Despite being given such a right, not many of us understand the weight of this privilege. We tend to neglect or underestimate the power that voting holds. We often hear the words “I am just only one, even if I don’t vote nothing will change”. This type of mentality that we have creates a huge impact on our day to day lives. One of the perfect examples I could give is the current administration that we have.

During the last 2016 elections, our hopes for a better and progressive country were evident more than ever. A lot of us campaigned for the so-called “change” that one of the presidential nominees, Rodrigo Roa Duterte. Despite a lot of criticisms about him, we were sure that someone like him could lead our country to something greater. On the other hand, many were hesitant if we Filipinos are making the right choice but chose not to stay tamed and quiet. Even giving up the vote they have because of the reasoning that they cannot outnumber the supporters and fans that Rodrigo Duterte has at that time or they cannot make a difference in the poll anymore (Lopez and Flores, 2017). One thing led to another and we know what were the outcomes of that specific election.

Our hesitations to exercise our votes have impacted a lot of people. Up until now, our country is continuously suffering from the same mistakes made in the past. At the moment, we have experienced if not the worst the most chaotic year — 2020. The fear of voicing out and expressing what we feel has led to days of misery and clownery. We have suffered the worst and the longest lockdown ever imposed in the whole world. We failed to use our right to suffrage for its very soul purpose.

Almost 2 years ago, before the whole pandemic fiasco happened, my friends and I would usually hang out to watch the latest movies all the time. Every movie night with them is always memorable, each has a story to tell but of course, I have my favorite. Just like our usual Christmas tradition, my friends would always meet on the 22nd of December to celebrate Christmas and it wouldn't be complete without our beers (we did ask permission, promise!) and the movie for the night. The movie was picked by Trby just like what he usually does, the movie he chose was The Room. The movie was nerve-racking, it was one of Trby's criteria when picking a movie for us. In the first few minutes of the movie, we would argue about our theories and share our frustration with some of the scenes. As we reach the end of the film it gets even weirder, there were scenes in the movie that disgusted us so much that we had to stop for a while and process what we just saw. And just like any other teen groups, we would yell our hearts out and talk to the movie actors pretending that we could do something about the plot. The movie drained all our emotions that we found ourselves being quiet right after the movie ended.

That's when it hit me, the silence that we shared was not awkward or deafening rather it was comforting. I have always feared silence among us because I thought it would remove the excitement or fun in our friendship yet it made me realize more. The stillness at that moment was already our transition from 10-year-olds who would fight over cookies and cokes, now shares beers and problems over the table. We practically grew together and saw each other grow and just a few months before we become officially adults we got to spend our last moments as an adolescent. My realizations were cut short because we had to go to church and hear mass for the 8th day of Simbang Gabi. During the mass, I could not stop thanking the Lord for surrounding me with such beautiful people, we all came from not-so-perfect families but with each other, it was as if we were complete. When we were going back to my friend's house, my friend, Bianca suddenly opened the topic of how long we've all been together. That night while walking on the streets of Villa Angela we talked about our memories together, from all our water balloon fights to our heartbreaks, there was nothing more that I could ask for that night.

Our hangouts were never the same after that holiday because we added another tradition in our playdates, we started having deep and meaningful conversations every after we party or have some fun. We started opening our problems about growing up, or any other shenanigans that we have, having a downtime helped our friendship flourish more. Just when we're just starting our new tradition, the pandemic happened. I was again bothered by how things would be for us especially we were really busy and we would always plan months before hanging out. Yet, of course, the playdate squad wouldn't let anything get in the way. We started planning zoom calls, virtual Netflix parties and the likes to make sure the ritual lives on despite the COVID-19 outbreak. I don't know if it was the movie that night or everything was just a mere coincidence but overall, I am thankful for December 22, 2019.