I hope I made you smile; that's all I ever wanted.

when he decides he has time

He'll rip my heart out of my chest

without reason or rhyme

Each day's a gamble on which him

I get to wake up to

I don't know what to do

He tells me that he wants me

When we're all alone

But I saw her contact name

Has two hearts in his phone

I don't know whether to blame him

Or my naïve thinking

But this ship is sinking

How long until I

Leave you crying again

I want the happy ending

You promised back then

I gave you my whole heart

What happened to caution?

Wonder how it feels to be more

Than your second best option

To pull myself from bed and register

The sunlight on my skin

Sometimes it takes all I am

To crawl my way to the couch

And stare a wall for eight hours

Only to sleep for another twelve, exhausted

From the effort it takes to be alive

Sometimes eating an apple

Feels more like survival than a snack

Even if it's the only thing I choke down all day

But you know what? That's okay

Because there will come days

Where I'm once again grateful to be alive

In spite of my current battle

To live

Through bad and worse days

While the time and joy you stole from me

Became a forgotten haze

You abused my kindness

My soft and forgiving heart

And trampled it so cruelly,

Spitting on a work of art

Pieces of myself went missing

Until I was an empty shell

But despite this I was rooted in place

Which you knew all too well

To this day I wait at your side

A blanching gardenia

Praying for change whilst going mad

Your eternal Ophelia