𝑟𝑎𝑖𝑠𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝘩𝑒𝑙𝑙.

It took him a moment or two to really register anything outside of what Micah was doing. Once his eyes darted around the cooped up trailer, he realized she really made it a point to leave a mark there. Her clothes and everything else she owned, apparently, was sprawled everywhere. And in a split second, Mateo forgot that he technically wanted her out of there. A part of him, something he was trying so hard to ignore, felt almost endeared by the chaotic scene; not beacause it was the way it was, but because, he quckly realized, Micah felt comfortable enough around him to make herself at home. Quite literally. But then again, wasn’t this just her personality? Wouldn’t she do the same thing anywhere else? 

‘‘What’s that supposed to mean?’‘ Mateo frowned, suddenly snapped back to reality. Almost violently at that. Arguing with her was the last thing he wanted to do that night; exhausted – he was just trying to call it a night but apparently, that wasn’t happening. The more she spit the words back into his face, the more riled up he was getting. Exhausting and negativity were never a good combination, as far as Mateo was concerned. ‘‘If you’re gonna be a fuckin’ psycho, at least try not to speak in riddles and act like a mature woman for once in your god damn life,’‘ He shrugged back, now getting dangerously close to the edge of his patience.

If the trailer had been any bigger, Micah might’ve been able to go around him, but, as it were, Mateo was literally as big as the door if not bigger and she thought getting him to move aside right now wasn’t the best idea. She was upset, he was upset, and she didn’t trust herself to get too close to him. Did she want to hit him or kiss him? Unclear at the moment. “Will you just move, so I can get out of here and find somewhere to sleep tonight? Or were you planning on keeping me here all night for some more fighting?” She was tired and pissed off, a dangerous combination given the topic of conversation. She wanted him to know she was upset, but she also didn’t want to give to much away as to why. His leaving without so much as a see you later made it clear he didn’t give two shits about her, so she didn’t want to give away that she thought for a second that he might care.

“It means that now that I won’t be staying here anymore, we can go back to sayin’ hi to each other once a month and pretend that kiss never happened in the first place. Clearly, it shouldn’t have, so,” she said coldly. Just when she thought she couldn’t possibly get any more upset, he had to go and call her a psycho. Her fists clenched around the plastic back, her eyes narrowing. “I’m the immature one? You disappeared without so much as a goodbye right after kissing me. I think that makes you the immature one. Or maybe it just makes you a fucking coward.” 

Mateo knew she was pissed off, and that was exactly the scenario he wanted to avoid when he walked in the roadhouse his first evening back. In fact, that was precisely why he chose to come back in the evening, hoping that the bar itself would have been as empty as it was, minus Micah of course, and that he would get his nightcap and go to sleep, dealing with whatever he needed to deal with in the morning hours. But in her words, tough luck, because he was getting exactly the opposite. Knowing just how wild this girl could be, Mateo knew she had his hands tied – he couldn’t just let her wander off and do whatever. He was already ridden with guilt as it was, imagine something happening to her just because she walked out on his pissed as she was and self-sabotaged, which was in the realm of possibilities. Micah was smart, and gorgeous, and fun – but she was downright fucking crazy.

Sliding the half-assed beer bottle towards the prospect, he tapped some cash on top of the bar and told the guy to keep the change. Picking up the duffle bag in a hurry, Mateo headed for the back exit, after Micah herself. ‘’Don’t be fuckin’ stupid,’’ He raised his voice as he caught up to her. ‘’And don’t be dramatic. It’s not the end of the world, a’ight? There’s no need to make a scene. I know you’re unhappy with this shit but why would you ever wanna live in a shithole like this?’’ He pointed towards his trailer that stood in the same spot as ever; just a few feet away now. ‘’Yo, you listenin’?’’

She wasn’t listening and she could only hope that pissed the fuck out of him. The blonde was still picking up her clothes that were pretty much all over the place at this point. On the counters, on the floor, in the bathroom. There was no way she wasn’t forgetting at least a third of her wardrobe there. “I’m not,” she muttered as he lectured her, still gathering her belongings so she could vacate the premises as quickly as possible. Maybe she could call Scott. God knew he had enough space in his mansion/apartment for her. She didn’t particularly want to stay there as she didn’t understand him or his world most of the time, but she was out of options and there actually was no way she was going to stay at Caine’s place.

As she shoved another piece of underwear in the back, she looked around and, when she couldn’t see any more of her stuff anywhere, she turned to face Mateo again. “I’m not being fucking dramatic, you asshole. I am, however, regretting a whole lot of my decisions when you’re concerned,” she spat, the lie coming out easily. She could let him interpret that as he wished. “Because I liked it here, that’s why. Now get out of my way, so I can leave and we can go back to not knowing each other.” 

Mateo wasn’t sure where he was going with it. All he knew is that he spoke his mind for once, and that it clearly ended up hurting her. She could pretend all she wanted… he knew better. He should’ve also known better than to speak to her how he spoke to the people he didn’t care about that annoyed him. Because although she could be annoying, Micah definitely was not someone Mateo didn’t care about. And perhaps that was the part that stung him. ‘’Listen…’’ He started off. ‘’I didn’t say that. All I’m sayin’… is that as much as you know your way around all of this shit, you shouldn’t be surrounded by it. That’s all your brother ever wanted to explain to you. That’s why he can be harsh on you. He doesn’t want to see you get hurt, and I get that,’’ He explained, trying to maintain the calm composure as much as that was possible given the tension. After almost getting Rose killed, something that stuck to him like a nasty scab from an old wound that just wouldn’t fall off, Mateo really didn’t want to see any other woman in his life get to that point. It was her life that he wanted to preserve, but her emotions he had no reign over.

‘‘Listen, Micah,’‘ He leaned in, scratching his temple as he paused to rearrange his thoughts. ‘‘I’m not here to argue with you. I don’t care if you used the trailer or not, I wasn’t here. But now that I am, it’s over, you gotta call your brother and go over to his place or somethin’. If you don’t, I will call him for you,’‘ He didn’t mean for it to sound like a blackmail, but he was firm in his belief that he didn’t want her around. Not because he didn’t care to see her and be in her presence – quite the opposite, she would’ve been a balm to that same wound, but it didn’t make sense, it had no future, it was going nowhere. So why prolong something like that? ‘‘We can go over to the trailer for you to pick up your things and then I’ll give you a ride or whatever.’‘

This conversation was going about as well as she imagined it would go if she ever were to run into Mateo again. Maybe it was even worse than she imagined actually. “Yeah, well, tough luck because you or Caine or Lucas don’t get to run my fucking life for me. I’m a grown-ass woman and I don’t need any of you idiots telling me what to do or where to be,” she snapped, irritation building inside her and almost reaching a boiling point. “You’re all the same with your misogynistic, toxic masculinity bullshit, you know that?” It may not have been completely fair, but she wanted so badly to hurt him as much as he was hurting her, as he kept hurting her. She was beginning to suspect that kiss they shared meant a hell of a lot more to her than it did to him. In fact, she thought it might’ve not meant much to him at all and that part of him regretted it. 

Micah listened to him talk, remaining calm as he essentially blackmailed her into calling her brother, not betraying how livid she was. Throwing her rag down on the counter with a bit too much force, she stared at him as she shouted out to the prospect. “Take over, I’m leaving.” She got out from behind the bar and headed towards the exit. “You want me gone, I’ll get my shit out right now, but I’m not calling my brother and I’m not staying with him. Fuck that and fuck you.” She pushed open the door and headed to the trailer. As soon as she was inside, she started shoving her stuff into a trash bag. She didn’t even know where she’d go, but she’d be damned if she went along with whatever plan he came up with.

‘‘Not your stuff,’‘ Mateo was there to remind her. Females could never be a part of the club, even though Micah somewhat already was. That was what happened when you grew up among the club members. But then, he realized that his tone of voice might’ve been a little too harsh, she definitely was not deserving of it. She was difficult to handle, but she didn’t deserve the treatment she was getting from him. Sucking in a deep breath, his facial features softened, at least somewhat. Just because Mateo himself felt exhausted and frankly, mad for no reason, didn’t mean he could’ve taken it out on her. In fact, he shouldn’t have, even if he could. He didn’t want to look up to her once Pravda was mentioned; they never discussed what happened when they kissed, but he knew better than to just assume it was nothing. He felt it for her as much as she felt something for him, but he had a mission to fulfill and that didn’t include her. He managed to probably fuck up a good thing without even making a decision per se. Or did he, make a decision that was? By choosing the club’s business first, as he always did? Most likely. 

He stared at the condensation on the beer bottle on the bar, thinking about her words. ‘’You may think you know, but once you stare down the barrel of the gun things change. And that shouldn’t happen to you,’’ He pointed out, knowing that for any of the enemies they were to make, Micah would be a prime target for blackmail. That was a huge weakness for the club. ‘’I made a mistake–’’ He continued. ‘’Lucas was right, Caine too. I shouldn’t have let you live with me, not even while trying to help you. There’s plenty of people who could’ve helped,’’ He almost scoffed. The only real reason he offered, if he was being entirely honest with himself, was because he was so curious about the attractive blonde that he didn’t seem harm in it. ‘’So what, you live in my trailer now?’’

That comment, unlike the previous ones, stung enough that she couldn’t hurt the hurt on her features. It was a reminder that no matter how hard she tried, no matter how much time she spent with them, she’d never be one of them. It was a reminder of what her father had told her all her life and the reason he forgot she existed half the time. “Right,” she said, averting her gaze. “I’m good enough to serve you all, but wouldn’t want me to forget my place.” When she finally looked up at him, her face cold, she could see he regretted saying it, but it was a little too late for that. It was true. Not only that, but he had to have thought it beforehand for it to come out so spontaneously. Part of her foolishly thought he was the only one who actually could see her as something other than Caine’s little sister and someone who didn’t need protection all the time. It was obvious he’d come to his senses.

“And it won’t. I don’t see why it would. I’m serving drinks, not drugs,” she told him with a shrug, wiping the counter angrily to distract herself from the conversation. The blows didn’t stop coming, though, and him calling his help a mistake was the latest one. She cleared her throat, not wanting to show just how close she was to crossing the line from angry to sad. “It’s too late for that. You did offer and now I have nowhere else to stay.” He wouldn’t kick her out or so she hoped. “Yeah, I do. I think it became my trailer when you left without saying if you’d be back. As far as I knew, the place was abandoned.” 

‘‘Nothin’ he could’ve done you already don’t know how to do. And the bar’s empty,’‘ He pointed at their surroundings. ‘‘So if you’d rather some half-assed fresh outta highschool boy hold a candle to your conversations, then by all means, invite him back,’’ Mateo shrugged. He didn’t care for the most part at least, but he knew better than to let prospects hear just about everything around them Trust needed to be built first. ‘’Since when are you servin’ drinks and wipin’ counters, anyway?’’ A small, but curious frown flashed in between his eyebrows as he realized what she was doing. Not that it was anything too out there, but he was surprised Caine would’ve allowed that. Not because Micah couldn’t do it elsewhere unless given permission, she just couldn’t do it at this specific bar. In fact, last he remembered was both Caine and Lucas giving him grief for helping her and giving her a place to stay in his trailer. Some of the very small list of reasons was that they didn’t want her so close to the hot zone, as if she hadn’t grown up around it, anyway. But it wasn’t his place to judge, so he backed off. He wouldn’t have gone against the will of his brothers, either way.

‘‘You don’t know shit,’‘ He responded, a little snappier than he probably would have before all that bullshit with Angelica went down. He was still somewhat scarred from it, the past history with his father and her mother still ever so present in and around Mateo, still reeling from the whole ordeal. ‘‘And just because you grew up somewhere doesn’t make you capable of livin’ in this climate. You might not realize it, but you were sheltered growin’ up. You think your brother is just a little bitch for not lettin’ you do some stuff around here that you wanna do? Think again. He’s doin’ it to protect you. And for a reason, shit around here is gettin’ worse with each passin’ day.’‘ Flicking off a beer bottle cork, he looked back up to her again. ‘‘You don’t gotta worry about me.’‘ He shrugged, but a little flash of confusion went over his face again. ‘‘What are you talkin’ about?’‘

“Maybe I don’t feel like doing the dirty work. Isn’t that what prospects are for? Doing all the stuff other people don’t feel like doing?” She asked with a roll of her eyes, just wanting to contradict him at this point. Also, she didn’t really want to be alone with him. “At least he won’t leave without saying goodbye right. I’m pretty sure he would stick around if I decided to kiss him.” Was she giving him a hard time? Probably. Did he deserve it? She felt like he absolutely did. She chuckled when he asked about her presence here, remembering he hadn’t been around when all that drama went down. Caine obviously made a huge deal about it, as did Lucas, but Micah did as she pleased and they were forced to deal with it when she kept showing up and serving drinks despite their protests. “Since I quit Pravda. Didn’t really feel like being there much after everything. Go figure, right?” He was largely to blame for that one, she wasn’t sure if he’d realize that. Angelica became this constant reminder of the boys she kept losing out on. “I think my presence here does wonders for the place. Tones down all the ugly and toxic masculinity.”

She was a little taken aback by his tone but tried not to let it show. “I know enough,” she snapped back, glaring at him. She hated that they were always trying to protect her, to hide her from their daily lives. “I can live in this climate just fine. You didn’t seem worried about me being here when you offered me a place to stay. I can handle myself. I know where the gun’s hidden.” She knew how to use it too, it was one of the first and only things her father had taught her. “Yeah, I’ll get right on that. Clearly, you’re doing just fine,” she said coldly, obviously bitter. “The trailer? I’m still staying there. Kind of took over the place really. The sleeping arrangement we had isn’t gonna work anymore.”

Mateo knew he left a few loose ends when he left. Nora, for example, and Micah. Without even realizing, he had gotten himself into a situation with not two, but three women including Angelica, without even trying to go there. After Rose, he figured that shit isn’t worth it. Having to worry about their wellbeing while trying to maintain loyalty to the club and loyalty to a woman – it was a combination that really did not go well together and that just happened to cause a lot of issues for him. So to avoid a fatal outcome, Mateo shrunk into himself for the most part, at least emotionally, and somehow ended up in a completely opposite end of the spectrum. He didn’t feel like he made the bad choices on purpose – he really was not the player type, but sitting there with Micah, in his trailer, sharing some legitimate hard-hitting thoughts and experiences… it was hard not to see or feel the connection was there. And the chemistry… even harder to ignore. Maybe the distance he had created, of his own accord, was bound to help that situation… or maybe it made it even worse. One thing he was certain about, however, it was that Micah was not going to take kindly to his sudden departure. And he was right.

Releasing a tired sigh, he locked eyes with her only to be met with cold he normally wouldn’t have seen, not from Micah of all people. It spoke volumes, but he didn’t have the energy to really think it through. Or maybe he didn’t want to. He had a feeling he had given a lot of himself to everyone around him, but himself, and that exhausted him. ‘’Beat it,’’ He muttered out to the prospect at the bar, not wanting him to listen in to the conversation, regardless of it being a public place. ‘’What, I don’t get a hug?’’ Obviously, the feeble attempt at a joke probably fell a little flat, but he didn’t mind. A hug was the last thing he was expecting, anyway. Taking another sip of the bear, Mateo shrugged. ‘’I needed some time off. Bein’ around here is a full time job, in case you missed that part,’’ He responded. 

Micah couldn’t help the annoyance she felt at seeing Mateo dismiss the prospect in such a laidback manner, without even a glimpse at him. Not annoyance towards him, but towards herself, because god help her she found it unbearably hot. “He was helping me, you know. Are you going to get behind the bar and serve drinks with me? Wipe down the counter?” She asked him, knowing the answer to that already. The VP of the Dark Skulls wouldn’t clean any counters. Plus, she also didn’t trust herself alone with him too much. The chemistry between them was still very much present and added tension didn’t help matters any. “A hug? So you can turn around, get on your motorcycle and leave Wilmington again?” Maybe it wasn’t fair, but him leaving after their kiss wasn’t fair either. She didn’t feel like pulling any punches right now. “You’re lucky you’re not getting a drink thrown at you in front of all your prospects slash minions, so don’t push your luck.”

The blonde scoffed, looking up at him finally when he questioned what she knew about what he did. “You realize I grew up around all of this, right? That my father was one of you and now my brother is too. I know exactly what it takes to be a Dark Skull.” She also knew she didn’t have it, but that was another story altogether and not the point right now. “Time off is fine, but have you ever heard of a little something called a text? It was real nice staying up all night and wondering if you were okay.” He’d have a surprise when he went back to his trailer, she had kind of taken over the entire space. “I hope you know you’re sleeping on the couch tonight because there’s no way in hell I’m sharing a bed with you.”

Just a single duffle bag on his shoulder, Mateo didn’t really carry all that much with him. He also hadn’t showered in at least two days, but who was counting? It seemed like his days on the road stretched into nothingness for the most part– time was not of the essence for once and there was nothing to think or worry about. It was a welcomed change from all those months of constant stressing over the streets, over his boys, over the plan with Angelica, over everything. It was one thing pulling a trigger on a gun over someone who was out to get him, but it was a completely different thing premedidating someone’s demise. Emotional over physical proved to have been even worse. And so, he was never going to forget the look in her eyes when he delivered the final blow and got her to leave town. It was cemented in his mind for good, and quickly enough, he realized that no matter how far he was going to run from the crime scene, he could never run away. Not when, despite what he thought of Angelica as a person, he was responsible for reeling her in, making her fall in love, and then breaking her heart. All with the goal of saving the M.C. Getting her to realize her father was the bad guy. Despite the plan working, he still felt like shit. But… ultimately, it was time to go back.

And so, he dropped the duffel back at his feet at the side of the bar and ordered himself a beer. He picked the least busy time on purpose; he was exhausted and didn’t have the time to get rowdy with the boys. Mateo exchanged a few words with the bartender, it seemed to have been some new guy – a prospect, which was even easier on Mateo. He didn’t have to explain, just point to his patch to shut him up. And so, he welcomed that first sip of the familiar beer like it was god sent. @priorsmicah​

Micah’s life was seriously going downhill. It seemed like her breakup with Sean had been just the first of many blows and the hits just kept on coming. Much to her brother’s annoyance, her latest awful decision (bad according to him) was quitting her job at Pravda to work at the bar where the Dark Skulls hung out, something she always promised herself she’d never do. Desperate times, right? Who could blame her for not being able to bare stepping foot inside Pravda after all the shit that went down there? Not even counting the drama with the club, Angelica and her had shared now one, but two boys now. She didn’t need a constant reminder that all the men in her life kept choosing other people over her. First Sean then Mateo. Just when she thought she could see herself with him, she got the rug swept out from under her. It was bad enough to see them together, but nothing compared to finding the trailer empty and him gone without so much as a note to say goodbye. To say she had grown a bit bitter over the past few months was an understatement really.

As per usual, the blonde was doing the inventory in the back while the bar wasn’t crowded and had sent a prospect in her place to serve the few people that were there. Everything was going according to plan until the moment she left the backroom and joined him behind the bar, shooing him away before her eyes landed on Mateo. She froze, watching him for a few seconds while she figured out how exactly she felt about his return. Mostly anger, she figured out. Her features turned cold, something that few people got to witness, and she immediately busied herself with cleaning that didn’t need to be done. “Look who’s back. Did running away get boring?” She asked him over the counter, not meeting his eyes. “Or did you finally remember you forgot to leave a note?”

Mateo’s head was reeling. He was so deep in this Angelica shit that he hated himself for it every passing day – today more than some other days, too. He had to look into this woman’s eyes, whisper the sweet nothings he didn’t mean, and hope to bypass the entangled web of chaos that was Angelica Lizzio’s head. Best case scenario? She believed him – that he found something more in her, that he trusted there was this whole other, real person behind the unpenetrable wall that she had risen around herself because she had to. That was just the thing though; Mateo wanted to believe that was true. In most cases, if she was just another girl he had met – he would have given it a shot. But now it was starting to severely mess with his head. It was hard knowing what he knew, hard to pretend without actually giving in just a little bit into the temptation of having this gorgeous woman before him, and praying that he would have her wrapped around his finger before the next snow fell. The M.C. needed it; they were getting impatient and playing the long game had never seemed so difficult before.

Mateo was of the more patient side from within the club. While a lot of them were ex cons, ex military, ex– something, he had a pretty content childhood with no apparent trauma. It was no wonder he was able to handle most of the shit they were doing with composure many of the brothers didn’t possess. Being able to estimate a situation instead of jumping head first was what made him a suitable VP. But now, the VP was crumbling and he couldn’t really say that to anyone. He was feeling the silent pressure of them wanting him to make headway so Angelica’s people could finally stop taking their streets, they wanted back the lulled feeling of owning their town without having to worry that someone might put a hit on them when they step outside just because of the business they were doing. And he was most of all feeling the pressure of making sure Angelica fell in love, grew some legitimate feelings for him while he remained unscathed in the whole ordeal. How did he ever think this was something that he would be able to do?

Staring at the ceiling from an old, ragged and torn armchair that barely fit within the confines of his trailer, Mateo could hear Micah’s voice in the background. Talking, on and on and on – the way she normally did, but today? It felt like she was just adding onto his already bad mood and he just wanted to be left alone. That was it. ‘’Stop,’’ He told her, almost muttering the words out. When she didn’t – whether she heard him or not, she continued yapping, and he was growing more and more irritated. ‘’You need to stop that–’’ He added but was cut off again. She chuckled, he could tell she was trying to tease him and normally he found it endearing, but not today. ‘’Just fuckin’ stop talking for once in your goddamn life!’’ He spat the words out. She drove him up the wall and he couldn’t handle it, not today. @micahpriors 

It was around 3am when Micah got back to the trailer after her shift at Pravda. As per usual, she wasn’t the least bit tired and was actually feeling hyper, which was a terrible, terrible thing for Mateo who seemed to be feeling pretty... mellow tonight. She burst in, making no effort to be quiet, and immediately made her way to the bedroom. Jumping on his bed, she gave him a small shake to make sure he was still awake. Uselessly, she even asked him if he was awake as if her noisy entrance and her nudging him roughly didn’t make it clear enough. The second his fluttered open she started talking—going on and on about her night and about whatever crossed her mind. She was so busy rambling that she completely missed the signs. She didn’t see how his gaze darkened and annoyance replace his usual saintly patience. 

He didn’t know it, but their late-night conversations (if you could call her monologues that) were the best part of her days at this point. After ending things with Sean and given how uncomfortable she felt at work with Angelica there, she didn’t have very much going on. Spending time with Mateo was refreshing and, above all, kept her distracted from the shitty state of her life. Maybe that was why she chose to ignore him as he asked her to stop. Or maybe she just wanted to tease him a little bit as she’d grown fond of doing. “So this customer literally threw up all over the counter and I had to clean up the whole damn thing,” she continued with a sigh, running her hand over the bunched up fabric of her dress. “I’m telling you I need to find another job and fast. I’m thinking of something in communication. Oh, what about ra—”

She finally shut the hell up when he raised his voice, her heart tightening in her chest and hurt flashing so quickly through her eyes that he most likely missed it. She was momentarily speechless, not used to this side of Teo. He’d been nothing but gentle and kind with her and she didn’t know how to deal with this. Her first instinct, of course, was the worst possible course of action. Her eyes narrowed at him, challenge replacing the hurt she felt just moments before. “Did I wake you up in the middle of a particularly nice dirty dream or something?” She asked, her tone both playful and snappy. “You telling me what to do makes me want to do the opposite. I’m also tempted to ask you what the fuck you’re going to do if I don’t stop.”