Control's long lost cousin, Organised Chaos

‘Let me take ya’ll back man, as I do so well…’

Story time! 

So! The weirdest thing to happen to me in a while just happened, like wow!

So last night, there I am watching The Grand Tour (the new show by the original Top Gear hosts) and I fall asleep, good times. I randomly wake up at 2a.m. I joke around with bae saying this happens when I haven’t sent her a goodnight message. So I send a one. Cool. I get myself some leftover steak and fake Fanta (a.k.a Miranda and it actually goes down, no lie. Just wish it was a bit more carbonated). Then I watch a bit more of The Grand Tour, put my phone aside and fall asleep

Now this is where it gets weird…

So I start to dream and it’s chilled. I’m at my house, all is well. My baby nephew would drive us around where we need to go and it’s all good! So we’re home the one time and everything turns into this Mad Max like world! Peeps are now fighting each other for food and whatnot.

I’m downstairs in my aunt’s room with this girl and my friend. The girl is asleep. She wakes up and I tell her to keep it down because things have turned to hell like Mad Max. Instead of taking my word for it, she starts yelling, “what?! What do you mean?!” (I’m there like 🙄). Then she runs out of the room but she’s back almost immediately as these two people heard her and came to check out what was happening.

So I now have to fight this very masculine woman (whom I’m sure I could have beat 😌 but it would have been quite a fight) and we SQUARE UP because that’s what we do in this new savage world!!!! 😤😤 But this entire time we’re about to fight, she keeps peeping at my phallic member bulging against my shorts 👀 and she even comments saying something to insinuate that if we weren’t about to fight, we’d be about to make wet macaroni. So I’m like 🤔 then I charge towards her, push her back onto the bed and pin her down. I pull out my meat cucumber, she must have been a hungry vegetarian because SHE TOOK IT WITH ENTHUSIASM but it’s then that I BUST THE MOTHER OF ALL OF ALL PIPES 🐳🍾🚀☔

Feeling saddened by the chasm we’ve let Fate create 

But I’m giving life too much credit, talking to you is like talking to someone heavily sedated 

Finally getting a reply and letting out a cry that, “mama I made it!”

I made it so that I’m never at more than arm’s length 

And your phone is that far away but I guess you couldn’t muster the strength 

To pick it up, hit me up and tell me that all is well

As well as a terminally ill patient who couldn’t get to the wishing well to wish me well

I wish I had William’s Wish Wellington’s to wish away the distance 

And the feeling that someone dear is clearly missing 

Or rather, they were never real and simply a vision 

Because this detour sold me dreams of a home and I lost track of the mission  

Blinded by light and my heart’s beat, now listen…

That silence is all I get from you

They say that actions speak louder than words and now I feel it’s true

I would send you these words hoping they get to you

I am terribly in need of a shrink to shrink my inferiority complex

Which is complex

My complexion states that I'm constantly fighting demons' reflection through my reflecting

Highlighting my lack of respect for character traits poised as defects

Seemingly defective for being introspective

Deemed depressed for being objective of self

Yeah, uh (Sun in the sky) (You know how I feel) Me and the RZA connect (Breeze driftin’ on by) Yeah, me and the RZA connect (Breeze driftin’ on by) (It’s a new life for me) (For me, for me) (Oooh, oooh) (And I’m feelin’ good)...

Ever felt the sun shine through your curtains? But have been too scared to look outside because you know seeing the sun will hurt you in a way you want?

...And I’ll never let my son have an ego He’ll be nice to everyone, wherever we go...

Especially since there was a storm the day before and the crashing and hammering of the thunder and lightning brought about a sense of comfort within that is so eerie but wonderful? No? Me neither.

...And I’ll never let ‘em leave his college girlfriend And get caught up with the groupies in the whirlwind And I’ll never let ‘em ever hit the telethon I mean even if people dyin’ and the world ends...

I had a dream that involved her and it was weird.

Her new bae not only came to see me but to chill with me like we had been friends from past lives reincarnated. It was a small room. The bathroom, kitchen and bed were all in arm’s length. I gave him the password to my WiFi. He was updating his apps and...Skyping and talking to her whilst I was there.

...(Breeze driftin’ on by) (It’s a new life for me) Me and the RZA connect...

I could only hear his side of the convo, yet visions of how she looked as she spoke to him were so clear, as if she was the one I was looking at. I’m sure they spoke at great length about a lot of stuff, but all I can remember is of them talking about hooking up.

...Promise to never leave him even if his mama tweakin’ Cause my dad left me and I promise never repeat him Never repeat him, never repeat him...

The only comfort I take from this is the “fact” that I guess I’m really not bitter. I always say that I want her to be happy and even my subconscious agrees...

If the tide is brave enough to trust the moon then what have you to hide?

Acting like coal under pressure when I ask you questions, petrified 

By the notion that gravity controls the waves of the ocean 

Arguing in a back and forth motion but see, you make the sea sick and that makes me sick

Tell me distance is an obstacle and I’ll add that to the list of things not to try

Is it a surprise that this is someone not willing to compromise?

So keen to make relations and set sail to that ship

Unprepared for the mishaps that tend to send us adrift 

Not only from the norm but from each other 

I see you warmly staring at the sun too ashamed to admit that I’m your lover 

Like NASA, keeping the truth under wraps and me under the covers

One day you’ll discover I grew the strength to leave, I hope that one day is soon