author from too many fandoms

"God, what on Earth is wrong with you two?" 

Keeho's brows arched further, glaring at us with uncertainty. The three of us weren't really having "lunch" at the nearest Starbucks on a gloomy day. It's more like we're discussing how we’d execute the plan… or better yet, make the plan.

But of course, he still noticed how the two of us seemed different from before. “Why are you wearing sunglasses? There’s no need for that," he commented, his finger pointing at the window, where the rain poured. Either way, it's best that I keep my mouth shut about it rather than make up some excuse. 

Luckily, one of the baristas from the counter returned with our order with a wide smile on his face. “Hey, can you get me some extra ice, please? No water.” Theo requested as the barista nodded, on the way to his station, when the assassin grabbed his elbow firmly, still unfinished. “Also, get some extra tissues. Like a lot of that.” He smiled at the employee, letting him go before he returned to his previous, slouched position.

"What is wrong with you both? This weird quietness is killing me," Keeho complained as I sighed, taking off my sunglasses. I thought it would've been gone from my face already, but it made him feel even more concerned. 

Theo? No, Keeho. “What?- Have you been crying? You could do that?”

“Oh, come on. It's not like I can't cry. I'm human.” I wanted to let that topic go – not get deeper into it. 

And for some reason, that same barista came back with both the extra cup of ice and the tissues, making my eyes roll further. Just a little more eyeroll and I might just lose my sight already because fuck, I can't stand this god-awful conversation anymore. 

“Thank you,” Theo said politely, holding the cup against his forehead as he took the deepest breath he’d ever taken, his eyes widening in a second. “Please, Keeho, the next time I’m onto something, remind me not to drink again.”

“Hey, I don't handle any other talents except Y/N. Maybe you should tell that to your own handler,” he bickered back, puffing his cheeks out before deciding to take out all the materials we needed for the plan. "So, let's start, shall we?"

“Let's just get this over with.” On a scale of 1 to 100, there's a 100% chance that I'm just bluffing. It'll take me a while to get this over with. 

The task? Of course. 

This thing between me and that name I don't ever want to mention? Not so much. “Do you need some ice? You can use it if you want,” the guy with the hangover suggested, handing the paper cup towards me as he leaned his chin on his other palm. He still didn't look at me, but it's just so painfully obvious that he still cared. He always did, but God, we're sometimes so full of our pride that he couldn't admit it, like come on, we’re already both so lost. Why are we playing this game of guessing? I'm hurt… and he is, too. 

“Come on,” Theo took a hesitant pause, finally giving me that look, “just take it."

I knew he was tired of it, so I snatched it away from him and placed it over my head.

“Thanks.”

“You're welcome.”

Keeho couldn’t stop himself from letting out an exhausted groan since he couldn’t start without us having to be completely awkward around each other. “Anyways, here is the blueprint for the yacht that the Chois borrowed,” he introduced us to the location after I had sent him the texts Jiung had for me as the two of us leaned forward, looking closer at where we’d be in just a few hours. “FNC can’t offer back-up because it’d cause too much attention from the city and from the inside of the yacht, so both of you should take Jiung’s men out first.” The two of us nodded as Theo later raised his hand, about to make a suggestion.

“I can do that on my own,” he proudly answered, which made Keeho raise an eyebrow at him. He probably didn’t trust one of us acting on it since we’re lacking men. “As far as I know, I’ve shot at least five men perfectly with one revolver. For this to be done neatly without FNC’s help, I need Poétesse to focus on those who work inside.” Theo turned to the side, glancing at me before facing Keeho once again. “And I’m sure that she could do the same without my assistance.”

Oh.

That’s back now? Because that’s something I’d want to hear today.

The man in front of us kept his lips in a side pout, suspecting us again, which wasn’t new to me. I know him very well. Whenever something didn’t sit right with him, he either started aggressively discussing it with me (without taking a pause) or he’d do this face for a long moment before asking another question. Most likely, it’s one of those questions he’s already asked seconds earlier. I don’t know why he does that. Maybe because he feels as if it wasn’t answered in the first place, which could be true at some point. 

“Are you two really okay? I’m sensing a lot of tension here,” he expressed, clearing his throat as he adjusted the collar of his turtleneck sweater for a bit. “It’s not making my throat feel very good.”

“We’re fine. I just cried at a movie last night. Couldn’t really wrap my head around it yet… The ending was very, very… Um… Just sad,” I lied, faking a laugh as Theo responded with the same, exact laugh. Great. That just made it a lot more obvious. How could we both be assassins and do a terrible job at this? It’s unbelievable. “I forgot the title… It’s nothing. We’re totally fine.” Never have I felt this embarrassed before.

But tonight, that won’t happen. 

When the skies turned dark, the two of us arrived separately, not wanting to make it seem obvious. While Theo’s bullets were firing in those precise seconds, I was at the inn near the beach, figuring out which earrings I should put on… I mean, anything could be a weapon if you’ve got enough courage. 

It’s uncomfortable to be seen this way and honestly, this is not the first time for me to feel like an object. If he really did like her and saw Ann as a person, he would’ve called the police and fired Christian on the spot.

But he didn’t because he wanted to save his ass from all the other crimes he committed. “Poétesse, I have everyone down. You have ten minutes.” I listened to the voicemail the early bird sent, causing me to finish off my makeup before leaving the inn’s bathroom. I have to say, a revenge dress is cliché because I’d rather wear one of those neon leather pants for the fun of it but I guess I’d have to dress for the occasion, just like how Theo would.

Black.

The color they’ll see once the light leaves their eyes.

The glasses continued to chime the moment I entered the boat, seeing the way my target had his attention fixated on me. Was it the lace? I hope so. I hope he enjoys the view when he still can because it won’t last longer than an hour. “Eight o’clock sharp,” I muttered to myself, checking the time on the watch wrapped around my once bruised wrist. The bruises have already healed by now since it’s been weeks, which is a relief because I couldn’t wear bracelets for days. A bummer. 

“Hey, sweetie.” I mouthed, setting my gaze on Jiung with a pint of derangement. The arms of the clock proceeded to tick and my patience started to decline in each second.

“Early, huh? I was about to ask you if you were available at nine but I like that you’re here right now. Early bird,” he greeted me, one of his eyebrows slightly arched as his pair of eyes slowly dropped from my face to the dress I’m wearing. I just know he’s more interested in what’s under it but he won’t get to touch any of it. Not anymore. “I see you’re even dolled up. Care to show me what you have?”

“Can I? I’d really want to do something others shouldn’t see,” I whispered right into his ear, luring him into my trap as he hummed, his voice all deep. “See me in the indoor dining room? Now?”

Catching one glimpse of Theo dressed in a chef’s uniform was one of the things I’d never thought he’d do. He’s out of his disguise. Black hair and that unkind look in his eyes, equally wild and full of control. It’s a sign that I’m doing a great job already just from the start and even though I know that to myself in the first place, it feels nice that a person like me thinks the same. 

And the new CEO and I were inside the dining room, all by ourselves and luring each other with seductive looks in our eyes. “What do you have for me, Ms. Gu?” He questioned, voice only getting deeper as he stared down at me, his palms taking a hold of my waist as I smiled at him. “God, you look so… irresistible right now,” he commented as I chuckled, still painting Ann as the girl who escaped hell brought to her by her lovely fiancé, Christian Lee. “And it looks like you don’t even care about what he’d think anymore. So shameless, huh? That’s nice.”

“I have one thing you’d never forget,” I said, licking my lips as I kept my distance from him, carefully crouching down as my left hand grabbed the waistband of his pants. 

But then, I pulled out the gun from the strap behind the slit of my dress. 

I stood up straight, hitting his jaw with the top of my head as I pulled the trigger more than once to the ceiling. “Oh, you’d never forget about this, wouldn’t you?”

“... How dare you?” He snarled.

I hit him once more with the bottom of the gun, smacking him across the face with no hint of remorse as I still kept it pointed at him. Blood started dripping down from his nose to his chin and that’s where he started laughing at me. 

“It’s a shame. I truly liked you… but unfortunately, I do have a plan with liars,” he chucked out of tongue, catching his breath every once in a while as I heard multiple footsteps coming into the room, causing me to roll my eyes. This again? When will these idiots learn? A bunch of lowlifes can’t compare to a skilled, midlife like me. 

“It’s over, love.” He declared, even pointing his own pistol towards me. “... Like how all good things must come to an end.”

He’s so full of himself but in those eyes, he really was fucking hurt. 

I looked around and saw how smug they looked. None of them had a scar. They seemed new to this field. 

I let out a silent chuckle. “You’ve planned this? For years? Maybe you should’ve hired more men with experience instead of these… fucking goofy goobers.” And then, the gun in my hands began to fire straight to them. No one even wore bulletproof vests for this. This is just humiliating.

Well, perhaps, it’s hard to shoot me when I’m running. “Coward!” I yelled, watching how he sped away with a few of his guards entering the dining room, giving him enough time to run to the emergency exit. I should’ve shot him dead already. “Oh, génial! Plus de vous!” I don’t know where to start when talking about these idiots. They started following some rich, wannabe mafia boss and think that they’re better than everyone else from doing it. I mean, I understand that life's low but really? I never thought that the bar would go lower than that.

It didn’t even take a minute for me to put them down. How are these men paid? God, it’s like Jiung never learned a single thing in FNC. What a shame.

“That son of a bitch!” Somebody from behind pulled me away, his hand gripping harder on both my hair and the wig I wore. Shockingly, it was a bigger threat, both figuratively and literally. I thrashed all of my limbs around, the heels of my shoes coming off because of how harshly he dragged me out of the dining room. 

But that was until a certain assassin stopped him. “Hey! Are you good?! We really have to go. He’s about to leave,” Theo checked up on me as I only nodded once, reassuring him that I’m fine even though the disguise already came off. 

“... Taeyang, I’m out of bullets.” 

Without thinking twice, he gave me his own gun; that one lucky revolver that he used in every task. “You get rid of him and everyone else, okay? You have to promise me.” 

“Wait for me to come back. I’ll get them,” I told him, resulting in him nodding with an unsure look on his face as I marched down the halls of the yacht, stopping for a bit to look at him once again. “I love you.” I couldn’t believe I finally said those words to him, catching my breath before I started running away from him, focusing on the situation. 

And oh, I loved the light that shone over his face when he heard me say it.

I’d wish to look at it every day if my life wasn’t just this fucked up.

Moments after, I was already at the outdoor base of the yacht, quite overwhelmed with the sight of blood and hot, barely breathing bodies on the floor. “Where could he be?” I murmured a question to myself, my eyes jolted open like a pair of magnifying glasses, looking for those who went down the emergency boat trail. Quietly, I walked around the base, smiling at the damage Theo brought. I didn’t even realize he did this all in just a few minutes on his own. To be given the chance to focus on the main task was something he should’ve taken but instead, he gave it to me. If that’s not love, then I wouldn’t know what it is. 

“There you are.” Aiming the revolver at them, I slowly knelt down the floorboards, biting my lip as I kept one eye closed to make sure that I executed it perfectly. Directly in their heads. Nowhere else but through their hard skulls. 

Then, it hit me. 

Something cold began to fall down from my shoulder as the rest of me felt numb like a nail had just pierced into a log. “No!” I heard his voice, scratchy and full of so much fear as another gunshot was heard. This time, it didn’t hit me. It hit someone else but it was too late.

I got shot. 

“Hey! I’m not losing you, alright? I’m not… I can’t…” He held me into his arms, his hands covered with my own blood as I felt too choked up to say something. God, he’s so devastated. I wanted to wipe those tears off but I couldn’t. Why am I so weak? Why couldn’t I do anything? I can’t let him feel this way. He shouldn’t feel this way about me. I can’t be a burden again. “Please, don’t die… Not now… I can’t lose you, please.” He buried his head over my shoulder, his arms pulling me closer to him while I looked up at the dark skies, my lips slowly curling into a smile as I listened to the waves under us.

“Taeyang, you have to jump.”

The terror in his eyes only got worse as he started shaking his head, which made me nod encouragingly. It’s the only way for him to save himself and leave no trace. “No, I can’t leave you out here. I need you to stay with me.” He didn’t want to accept it but the bullet in me was starting to drain the life out of my body that I was left with no choice. 

“You have to leave… Please?”

“I can’t. I can’t do it.” Theo’s stubbornness only made the pain worse as I grunted, letting tears fall as it felt like chains were tightening up around my shoulder. “... I’m taking you with me.” And he brought me up from the floor, helping with each step he took as we were nearing the rails on the edge of the yacht. 

It was so deep and so dark. The waters were even so strong that it’d be like I’m welcoming death into my life once I jumped. “On the count of three, we jump off together.” Theo instructed as I didn’t even have the life to just nod at least once, closing my eyes as I waited for him to say those three numbers, which were probably the last words I’d ever hear from him. 

“I’ll start… One,” Theo whispered the first number, making me open my eyes as I looked down at the oceans once again. Fear was taking hold of me. It’s like I have nowhere to go but that dark abyss below us. “Two…” He continued to count, slow and careful as he glanced at me a few more times, terrified of the sea as well. I mean, who wouldn’t be?

I’d rather die in that same place I was shot instead of jumping down with no certainty if I would ever live with this bullet digging deeper into my skin with each passing moment. His grip around me only got tighter as I listened to his lonely, rapid heartbeats. “... Three.”

I gave it my all, matching his pace as we leaped off the boat, falling into the swallowing waves of the beach. I could feel my limbs thrashing everywhere. Unstable. Unsure of what I’m even capable of in my lowest. “Where are you?!” Theo was catching his breath with every word that came out of his mouth, spitting out the water whenever it touched his lips. 

Yet with every second he searched for me, I was only sinking with nothing to hold onto. I couldn’t breathe. I barely saw anything. And the clashing sounds of the waves were the only things I could hear. All the way to the bottom, shaken up but couldn’t move a single inch. I wasn’t ready to die yet and it’s just so devastating that I’d realize it just now.

But then, I remembered that I wasn’t all alone.

And I finally closed my eyes when his hands reached out for me.

There’s that song in my head again, but this time, I wasn’t even close to finishing the task anymore. In fact, I was still so many steps away that it would be unbelievable if I were to tell anyone about my situation now.

Instead of finding myself on the couch of my apartment, I was under the smooth, red velvet covers of the chief operating officer of ZB1, Choi Jiung. “Shit,” I muttered, placing the bottom half of my palm on top of my forehead. Headaches are worse than nightmares because I don’t have a fucking clue how it all ended up this way. At least nightmares aren’t real. “... How am I gonna tell Theo about all this?” I asked myself, growing increasingly agitated as I realized I had no other answer to that.

And how convenient is this? Waking up in someone else’s bed with no clothes on is such a treat, isn’t it? Yeah, I don’t think so. I just can’t believe that an assassin like me still had the time to sleep with a potential target.

It’s like he wasn’t even grieving over Jiwoong.

My hands then scrambled off to my blonde locks as I sighed, relieved that the bond was strong enough for it not to fall. I mean, if it did, Jiung wouldn’t leave me all alone, and he’d probably tell the authorities about me, so I guess I’m lucky. ‘Shit, I have to text Theo.’ I thought, looking over to the far left corner of the room, where I had left my purse. Without thinking twice, I rose from bed and started to dress myself in the clothes I had worn the day before.

A bit icky, but this’ll do it. “Come on, come on.” I panicked, checking if my purse still had my phone just in case Jiung sensed something weird. “Oh, thank God.” I breathed out, later gasping at the barrage of messages Theo left since last night.

God, I’m in so much trouble.

*****

I’m so sorry if I went too far. Call me back.Y/N? Hi :)

Are you coming home tonight? Please text me back.

Where are you? Are you OK?

*****

Oh my god.

This just keeps on getting worse.

Shit.

“No, no, no… No!” I couldn’t think straight. This was not supposed to happen, but it did, and now, Theo’s probably looking for me.

“Ma’am?” I flinched at the soft voice that called me from the slightly opened door. A maid in her forties was standing right there with a tray of food in her hands. “Are you okay, Ma’am? Mr. Choi told me to bring you breakfast in bed,” She said, entering the room with zero tension in her veins compared to mine as she placed the tray on the table next to my purse. “I told him to wake you up since it’s his big day, but he still didn’t do it.”

The old maid chuckled, probably thinking that he was like a son to her, as I tilted my head, intrigued at those two words she said. “... Big day? Is it his birthday today? I hope I don’t miss the birthday party, then-”

“Oh, no, dear. He said that it’s about the company. I think he'll take over Jiwoong’s position since… he passed.”

Well, that’s interesting. “... Ah, well. I hope you don’t mind me rushing. I really want to see him at Jiwoong’s office,” I joked, letting out an unsettling laugh before shoving my phone down the deepest level of my purse. The woman stared at me with a rather disturbed look on her face, brows straightened with a stiff jaw and a slightly tensed, enlarged nose as if she had just seen the most unusual thing ever. “Remind me not to speak of my past boss like that, please?”

“Surely.”

Because of how awkward I was, she was forced to leave me alone in his bedroom. An honest mistake always gets me what I want. È come giocare al gatto col topo.

I set up traps, make him believe that it’s true, and the bullet will start forcing itself into his stupid, big brain. It’s a common game for people like me… but God, this somehow feels wrong.

It took me a few seconds to start looking for whatever I could find. Shelves, drawers, cabinets. You name it. Even the most expensive paintings he hung on his walls were later tilted. I wanted to see if he was related to those interns.

'Where is it?' I asked myself in silence, grunting in disappointment every single time nothing was interesting in his drawers. I mean, imagine finding a bunch of postcards in one corner while time runs? It's like trying to dig for gold in a trash hole. A complete mess. "... This is taking too long." Amazingly, my patience was still holding up, even if in reality, I wanted to scream and shout every single version of 'fuck' as my hands continued to pull and push the doors of the cabinets he had.

But there was nothing.

No proof that he was related to those two interns.

“Shit, did I make a mistake?” I felt my shoulders lower down, the adrenaline fading away as I sat there on the floor with nothing in my hands. I couldn’t have made a mistake. Sure, I’m still speculating, but I’ve never failed one mission. I could be a bit sloppy, but that’s just according to Rowoon. Tasks that are given to me are always done efficiently, not nicely and subtly, but perfectly enough in my eyes. There’s no way this was a mistake: I know my hunches were always right or somewhat close to it.

Just as all hope was drifting away, I noticed something odd under Jiung’s desk. There was this box, all black and made out of hard metal. “... Maybe I didn’t,” I muttered to myself, taking the heavy black box out of the corner as I turned it around, seeing somewhat of a lock that needed a code; this is a safe box.

“I knew it.” My fingertips began to explore the letters over the lock. If this opens through my very first guess, then maybe Jiung is guilty of what happened to the interns, and he won’t let Ann know about that, would he? Of course not. It’s too early.

This is what I call sloppy work.

Not mine.

Two of my fingers grabbed the cap-sized metal knob from its center, twisting it carefully to those two letters that were shown painted over the interns’ foreheads, “ㅈ ㅇ.” The door of the box snapped open, releasing that clicking sound as I widened my eyes, breathing out in astonishment. Eat shit, Rowoon. This isn’t sloppy work.

“I fucking knew it.” I let out an airy laugh, both pumped up and in disbelief at what I just witnessed. In my usual missions, it’d take me months to figure this out, but now, I just keep on getting better.

Taking my phone out of my blazer, I started to take pictures of the now exposed safe, later taking a deeper look into the single red folder placed in the middle of it.

When I flipped a few pages, I discovered something better than the safe even. Those pages showed me charts, dates, and names. This was all his plan after all. The killing of Jiwoong was just a distraction to all of it so that he could become the CEO, the owner of the company he started in the first place. It turns out he used to be another handler at FNC, just like Keeho, and even earlier than him, but he left after the CEO position was given to Rowoon and not him.

So, in conclusion, he’s just this petty ex-employee. Noted.

“That is some lazy work,” I said, chuckling as I returned the folder into its original place, locking the safe completely. “... Amateur.” And just seconds after, I finally sent Keeho everything, which was the confirmation he’s been asking for ever since day one.

*****

YKH: Confirmed?

Y/N: Yes. We found our target. Choi Jiung, CEO of ZeroBaseTech.

YKH: Impressive :) I’ll tell Rowoon all about it.

Y/N: Thanks.

*****

And when I took myself out of his home, there was nothing else in my head but the fact that I needed to get to my apartment. I was happy. I wanted to tell Theo all about it. That I didn’t need help and that he didn’t need to worry about me last night. That I’ve got it all covered on my own.

That song was in my head again, the instruments getting louder with every step I took, as a smile was plastered on my face. Everybody who walked the streets, those whom I bumped into, and those who chose to avoid my path, was frowning. They didn’t like it when I smiled and ran the streets like a child. But oh, how lovely it was to feel like the happiest person to live a life like this.

“I know who did it!”

Those jolly words were the first that came out of my mouth; the second my keys finally opened the door. But no one answered me. “... Theo?” I called his name, closing the door behind me as I walked closer to the living room, seeing his frame seated on the couch while the television played a replay episode from an old show. I guess it wasn’t just me who didn’t head to work today.

“Where were you last night?” He spoke out blankly, staying in his place as he lifelessly watched the television screen. Suddenly, my hands started growing colder, the sweat dripping down my face one by one as he later turned around, his arm resting against the couch’s cushion.

“I was at Jiung’s. I didn’t have the time to call you back-”

“Because you were too busy fucking him, right?”

I couldn’t find the words to explain myself because all of what he said was true. I did sleep with the target, but I only did it for more information. What else was I supposed to do? It meant nothing to me anyway.

“Did he feel good? Did you enjoy it? How was the experience while I was stuck here, clueless about your whereabouts?” Theo’s questions were like bullets to me, humiliating me in every way possible as I only stood there, realizing that I may have made a mistake. “Answer me, Y/N. If you couldn’t answer me last night, then at least do it now.” He stood up, facing me with both trust and hatred in his eyes as I gulped, not expecting any of this to be such a big deal. “Please… Just tell me.”

“I don’t care about what happened last night, so that shouldn’t matter to you, too. It’s just… It’s just part of the job, Theo.” I wanted to drive the conversation away, causing him to let out a scoff, clearly insulted by it.

“Y/N, you just spent the night with a potential threat! Do you have any idea how dangerous that is for us?!” The assassin didn’t have enough patience for it, like a puddle of gasoline being lit, walking to the kitchen to stay away from me. “You took too many risks. What if he found out? You’re lucky your wig didn’t fall from all of the fucking.”

“I had it all handled, Theo. I did it to get sympathy… for information. The information we both need,” I replied, keeping my tone calm. Not long after, my thoughts started to collide, patching up every single thing I remember about him, who stood there, keeping himself quiet. “Oh, this is because I’m a girl, isn’t it?”

Theo looked up from the counter, elbows still leaning on the surface as he scoffed, a smile not so genuine showing up on his face. “That’s different… It’s because you crossed a line, Y/N.” My confusion started to tick like a time bomb, waiting to explode in just seconds as I held my fist to my lips, knuckles under my nose, while I kept my lips tightly shut.

“Can you even tell me what line I did cross, Taeyang?”

Out of the blue, Theo took almost ten minutes to think about it. We said nothing. We just remained standing as if we were in the world’s quietest library. He had this look on his face where he’s a hundred feet deep into his thoughts behind what he said. How could he say that I’ve crossed the line when he wasn’t even sure of what it was in the first place? Maybe if he had just told me what exactly his problem with it was, then this conversation wouldn’t have existed.

If he just admitted to me that he didn’t want me to see someone else.

If he just said that he liked me.

If he knew that I did too, I wouldn’t have slept with Jiung.

Because after all, I couldn’t completely get him out of my mind last night. I couldn’t text him back because I was afraid. What if this drives him off? What if this becomes the border between us? What if this becomes the line I’d cross? And it did. “I just can’t stop thinking of you. Everywhere I go, you’re always here,” he said while he pointed at his head, his voice finally softer than before, which made me let out the deepest breath I held for minutes. “And I think it’s time for me to stop running in circles.”

That’s not even close to what I needed to hear from him. “I guess we’re not so similar after all.” I turned my back on him, feeling as if something so important had been taken away from me.

People like us don’t deserve to love. Not one bit, why? Because love is supposed to be pure. Love is supposed to be something you could give wholeheartedly to that one person. Love is when you accept all of that person’s flaws. How could anyone accept mine? How could anyone accept the fact that I have somebody else’s blood on my hands?

Love is for people who have normalcy.

And I won’t ever have that, no matter how many times I crave it.

All of a sudden, my phone buzzed inside my blazer, causing me to pull it out to check if FNC had any orders for me. Well, one message in particular was from the new CEO, who probably wanted to see me after work or something. I think he already knows that I didn’t really attend work today.

*****

CJU: hi? nan told me you left early. was planning to visit you at lunch.

Ann: Hey. Sorry I couldn’t be there rn. I had to explain things to Christian.

CJU: did he hurt you?

Ann: No, thankfully.

*****

I bit my bottom lip, finally understanding that this may have already been going too far. That could’ve been Theo’s concern, too, right? But I don’t need him. I don’t need him to help me over and over again. I can do this myself.

*****

CJU: alright, then. see you at dinner tomorrow. have a lot of paperwork to do.

Yeah, sure. What’s the paperwork about? Framing someone else for killing Jiwoong, or is it for the exposure of FNC’s data all over the country? Choose one.

CJU: hao said it’ll be Daecheon. the board let us borrow one of the city's ships.

Ann: Oh? That’s amazing!

CJU: right? wear something nice, okay? :-) see you.

*****

"Is that him? Is he after you?" For a second, there was that glimpse of hope when I heard him ask me those questions. Yet when I turned around, it only made things worse for me. Theo didn't move an inch at all, but this was what I asked for, right? For him to see me as an equal?

Well, guess what? He already did.

"Uh, no. He's still clueless about who we really are," I replied, looking down at the ground, hesitating to move. "Keeho told me that he'd tell Rowoon about this, so I guess he'll pay us another visit tomorrow." My eyes looked for it in Theo's glare. All I saw was how focused he was on the task, denying everything that had happened earlier.

"At least last night went well, especially for you." Sarcasm seeped into his words, probably trying to find the good in what he saw as a problem. "... I'll let myself out in a bit. Keep the doors locked, okay?" And again, he never even went close to me, on his way to the door with that cold gaze once more.

“God, why did I have to be Ann?” I mumbled to myself, sticking my tongue against my cheek while I figured out how to keep the wig’s edges cleaner than before. If I were the simple girl with the engagement ring last week, I should probably do a little twist by now, or things could get obvious.

No, I’m not paranoid. The people in this company are just way too smart, and for the first time in years, I'm afraid they'll get ahead of us.

Okay, so maybe I’m already a little paranoid…

“Hey, Y/N, are you done?” Theo asked from the other side of the bedroom, causing me to rise from my hunched position little by little. Turning around to see what he was doing, there was one question that popped into my head when I saw that blue accent on his clean, perfectly ironed white button-up shirt.

“Wait... Is that my tie?” I found it fascinating that he was wearing some of the accessories I've been wearing daily, as he looked down at his chest, later lifting his head once again to nod.

“It suits you,” I complimented him, my voice unusually sounding a lot deeper than it was since it was just six in the morning. “I told you, you should keep on wearing some brighter colors often. You always dress like you’re at someone’s funeral… Well, you literally are, but where’s the fun in that? You're getting paid a lot for the stuff you do, and I think you should celebrate that.” My mind was always so full of trying to lighten up situations with jokes, even if they didn’t need any enlightenment from me, that I didn’t even notice that I might’ve offended him.

Ashamed, I turned around yet again to look back at him. “Forget I said that. Any color suits you, whether that’d be black or gray or-”

“I think I get that already, Y/N.” He butted in, snickering at how I started doubling down, which still felt weird, actually.

I never double down. I never take my words back, and I always say things with all my might, so why am I doubling down on a stupid joke I just made? That’s me! I like jokes and I crack them all the time to make things less tense, but somehow, there’s this heat coming up my goddamn face and it does NOT feel nice.

“Blonde also suits you, but…” He took a pause mid-sentence, his fingers twirling the faux bleached locks that hovered over my head like silk curtains. “For so many reasons, the real you is a lot better than this.”

“Well, I can’t help it. I’m very charming.”

“Ugh, stop ruining the moment for once, can you?”

Like the past few days, there was this moment of silence between us again, as if the imaginary audience stopped to clap. As if the world had just stopped spinning. As if things just started getting serious the moment he stared into my eyes.

“Why do I feel like this when I’m around you?” Anxiety washed over Theo’s face like it was the waves of the ocean touching the sandy shore as I breathed in deeply, somewhat scared shitless over the possibility in my head.

No. We’re assassins. We’re paid to do this. Nothing more can happen between us. I can’t take that risk yet.

Thankfully, the phone in Theo’s pocket began to buzz, cutting off that long, silent second that felt like hours. “Yes, Mr. Zhang, what can I do for you?” He answered the call, his voice changing from his usual tone to a higher one as he had a cheeky smile on his face, totally in character. But then, the cheerful look on his face turned into a blank one, seeming as if he had just heard something that’d turn the whole day upside down.

“Why? Did something happen?” The unknown situation made me alert again as I watched how his eyes kept looking around the bedroom as if he’d been searching for something.

“It was Zhang Hao,” Theo replied, his lips closed tightly shut as I gulped, not knowing what words he’d say afterwards. “... It’s about the CEO… I don’t know how else I’d say this, but he just died… How does that even happen?”

Questions. So many questions lingered in my head as the two of us were on our way to the company together. How could something like this happen? We were just starting to dig deeper into him, and now, it seems like we’re being framed for something that we didn’t do… yet.

Well, the thing is, we don’t even know if it was him behind the interns’ murders! What a bummer.

The two of us stood behind the crowd that covered almost the rest of the glass walls, peeking over what the police were doing to the cold body. Jiwoong was found resting against his desk, his chair slowly rolling out, and his face down. He suffered too many head injuries as if someone had repeatedly bashed his head against the table before shooting his back.

I mean, that’s what I heard from those who were closer to the scene.

“Ann. Christian.” A voice from behind called as we turned around at the same time, surprised to see my handler in a police uniform with a name tag pinned to his right chest. Mingi Song. Not a bad name, lucky him. “I have a few questions to ask, can you come with me?” He continued, causing Theo and me to exchange looks, realizing how equally unsure we were before facing Keeho again, nodding.

Once we arrived at the warehouse of the building, Keeho had his knuckles against both sides of his waist as all three of us stared at each other. I could definitely see it in his eyes.

He wants to kill us.

Well, metaphorically at least.

“What happened out there? Y/N, tell me what that was all about,” Keeho snappishly said, pointing me out first since he knew me better. “Why is the CEO dead? None of you informed anybody in FNC that it’ll be done, especially me. Did you two ever learn what a ‘heads up’ means?” He was confused. Frustrated, yes, but also so confused over what happened, which isn’t so different from what we’ve been feeling too. Before he could continue scolding us into a pulp, the other assassin had his palm over his shoulder, catching his attention.

“Keeho… We didn’t do it. We didn’t kill him.” It didn’t seem to make things better for him as his eyes got bigger, staring at both of us in disbelief.

“What do you mean?” Keeho could only ask that one question as Theo’s shoulders rose up before letting them down lazily.

There was no way one of us could’ve taken him out because Theo and I stayed together at home. It’s not possible. It must be someone else. It can be anyone else. “Yesterday, me and Theo were just… You know? Going out and eating someplace else,” I said the truth, the only truth I’m aware of, as Keeho listened closely to every word that came out of my mouth as if he was scanning the lies out of it. But there was no lie. I have no idea who did it. “And we went straight back home. That’s it. I don’t know what could’ve happened in the company last night.”

I was desperate. I wanted Keeho to believe me because this was not my work. I don’t leave my targets where they initially were, and neither does Theo. “We’re gonna find whoever did it. We promise.” The fake Canadian brunet suddenly blurted out, both awkward yet confident over what he said, as the fake police officer took in another deep breath shakily, pressured and anxious about what he was going to tell FNC in the next few hours.

That was not something I’d hear Theo say, but rather a word that’d come from me.

Why do I feel so many things about this?

“Keep that promise, then. I'm not cleaning up for your mess, just so you know.” Keeho was all things sassy, straightforward, like how someone like me would throw a knife at someone within a few meters apart. Even if he and I were close, there were still FNC rules that applied to us. I can’t trust him with all my life, but I can trust him with my safety and the money that the organization sends through him as long as I get the job done.

I believe in him, and I think he does the same with me, but we’re not casual friends. He’s my handler and I’m his talent. “Where was that again?” We all turned our heads to the voice that came from outside the warehouse, which sent Keeho into hiding behind the farthest shelf as if he’d known already that I had something in mind to cover this up.

“Punch me. Hard.” I ordered through gritted teeth, waiting for my lovely fiancé to hit me like the useless upcoming wife I am, as his brows slowly knitted, horrified at what I just told him to do. “Punch you? I can’t do that-”

“We have no time, and if someone finds out about this, one of us dies.” Nothing will ever make me think that there’s another option, considering that the threat was just behind the entrance door. Theo let out a grunt, clearly disagreeing with what I wanted him to do to me before that piece of shit entered the room. “Hurt me like I’m the monster in your head,” I whispered, provoking him even more as his hand curled into a fist, knuckles protruding more than ever. “Do it now, Theo.”

So, he did.

And God, I didn’t think it would sting this badly.

“Oh, god- Oh my god, Ann!” The vice president of the company freaked out, screaming at the top of his lungs after he’d seen me fall on the ground, limp and withered away from whatever Ann’s relationship with Christian turned out to be. “Stay away from her, you son of a bitch.” Jiung held me closer, yelling at the brunet with all his heart. Ever since he found out that Christian’s favorite hobby was giving Ann some of the biggest bruises, he’s convinced that he could save me.

Good. “Sir, I’m sorry, but she’s my fiancée. Stay out of this,” Theo rolled his eyes, only causing the vice president to get more irritated with him. “This is not your problem, Sir. She’s mine to deal with.”

“Not anymore,” Jiung responded so quickly, helping me get up from the floor as he had a firm yet harmless grip around me. “Don’t come close or else, you’re fired.” Heroic much? It’s a good trait, but I’m not really in need of saving, especially now.

Once Theo was told off, Jiung walked me to his office, letting me sit on the couch that only he and his colleagues could end up relaxing on. It was only a few steps away from the large windows that gave such a beautiful, modern view of the city. You could see everything from up here.

It’s almost as if it’s better than the late CEO’s office. “I think you should stay here for another hour. I told you already, Ann, he’s not good for you.”

“He’s my boyfriend– almost my husband, Sir. He’s the love of my life. I can’t just leave him,” I voiced out Ann’s side of the story, my voice cracking midway to show the pain she felt as I shook my head, staring at the city view instead. “I can’t lose him… Not completely, at least.” I then faced him, letting tears fall down my cheeks as all that Jiung could do was mouth ‘no.’ He made his way to me, leaving his glass of wine on his marbled desk, his palm caressing the side of my face as he wiped away that one single streak of my tears.

“But he already left you. There’s no use in staying with that… that asshole.”

Glad to know I wasn’t the only one who thought he was a little prick. “Why don’t you stay the night with me, Ms. Gu?” I’ll be honest, it’s not the question I was waiting for, but it was a lot better than it. Staying the night with the potential target? This sounds fun.

“Do… Do you want me dead?” I still played the scared, vulnerable Ann, hugging myself tighter as if it were a personal barricade towards the people I didn’t trust.

But then, he softly tilted my head up with his thumb over my chin, making me look through his glasses to get a glimpse of what true love was; it’s bullshit.

“Let me save you, Ann.”

“... As you wish.”

Not even a second after, his lips were brushing against mine as he started to take over the space above me. His hands were clasped over mine, pressing them over the cushions of the black leather couch while I prayed to God that the blonde hair would stay on for a few more hours.

The first week of work was fine. Not boring but a little underwhelming. Theo and I are pretty close to the culprit, and I can't keep my excitement away. Is that unusual? 

Today is Saturday. I have been sitting alone in the living room ever since I came out of the shower. Living alone is something I miss these days, but that doesn't mean that I'd rather have Theo out of this flat, huh… On second thought, I actually would rather have all the time to myself than have him around. 

Sure, he's an insightful partner, but I can't pretend that I could stand him and his weird principles. Call me a hypocrite for it, but really? No socks over the coffee table? Come on, they're squeaky clean! I’m not as dirty or disorganized as he thinks I am. 

Just as I thought I’d have all the time to myself, the door of his room creaked open as his feet tapped across the wooden floorboards, heard loud and clear. “... You’re up?” Theo uttered, his voice deeper than before, as I turned around, waving my hand at him as a good morning.

“Yeah, I’ve got plans today,” I said, later munching on the spoonful of milk and cereal as he hummed back, making his way straight to the kitchen. “I’ll meet a friend.”

All of a sudden, the shuffling sounds that came from the kitchen cupboards stopped as he slowly turned around, facing me from behind while I watched the news on the TV screen. “You have friends? I thought it was just Keeho,” he joked, making me look back at him with a rather annoyed pout, causing him to raise both of his hands in the air as if he were being arrested. “Hey, don’t look at me like that. It’s not like I have any friends… at all.”

The two of us laughed at his words as I shifted the rest of me to the side of the couch, giving him enough space. I guess the acting week did pay off since we’ve gotten closer. I mean, who wouldn’t get closer after those few romantic bits? It’s one of the funniest and most bizarre things I’ve ever done in my three years of being an assassin. 

I guess it’ll have to go on for another few days, too. “Which friend are you visiting again?” He asked once more as my mind started to roam around the memories, causing me to get up from the couch to head to the rack, where I hung up Ann’s purse. 

As I unzipped the bag, my hand searched for the picture of him – the one that I stole from the orphanage. Pulling it out, I realized how crumpled it already was. Maybe I should’ve kept it in some nicer place, but I couldn’t afford that years before now, unfortunately. 

Returning to the leather couch, I handed Theo the photo carefully, not wanting it to form any more folds as he took it from me the same way, slow and cautious. “Who’s he? You two look young here, especially your friend,” he commented, placing the picture on my palm once again. “I’m guessing a lot of time has passed already, huh?”

“M’hm.”

Theo lifted his head from the photo, his lips curling into another small smile again, almost as if he was hiding it from the rest of the world except for me. “You know you have that look on your face that usually means ‘I miss him a lot’, am I right?” The smile on his face grew wider the moment I kept my distance from him, seeing how fascinated he was in causing reactions like this. 

“I don’t like your face near mine, okay?” I warned him, crossing my arms as he nodded casually in response, letting out an airy chuckle right after. 

“Oh, come on. We’re kinda engaged. This is fine.” His gaze showed patience, anticipating another reaction from me as I almost choked on what he told me. “There she is!” Theo cheered, clapping his hands rapidly with no rhythm whatsoever as I jokingly rolled my eyes back at him. 

He’s lucky I’m someone he could joke around with.

Because the last time I worked with a partner, my cheek ended up bruised.

“I’ll let you have your fun, Theo,” I said back with a calmer tone, later getting up from the couch with the empty bowl in my hands. ‘Should I wash the dishes?’ I thought as soon as I was at the sink, I would later shrug to myself before placing the dirty bowl on the sink’s metal surface. 

I have plans today. I wouldn’t want to waste my time on this. Maybe Theo could do this for me instead.

“Y/N, can I come with you?”

Well, I don’t think either of us will be able to wash the dishes this time. Turning to look behind, I could see him peek from the couch’s cushions, arms placed above it with a twinkling stare like a child persuading me to buy him some candy. “... It’s a Catholic orphanage. I don’t think you’d like to be there.” My tone was a bit condescending, but this was one of those rare times where I’d take something seriously. I didn’t want any mishaps to happen. Imperfect is fine, but somehow, I want everything to go smoothly for… him.

But it didn’t even faze the young assassin; it only caused him to further push his plump lower lip outwards. “I’ll take anything. Just save me from boredom.”

I don’t have much of a choice. I know this is unreasonable for me. I could’ve told him a single no, but half of me somewhat liked his company, which is the weirdest thing I’ve ever felt in my entire career. Everybody else knows that I’m nothing like this; that my weaknesses are shadowed by this huge ego. Although it's not something for me to be proud of, it’s still a great thing since I’m not easily threatened by anybody else. 

I know it resulted in a few injuries, but who survived? Who walked the streets of Milan? Who put a bullet in the mayor of that city? Just me. It’s all just me. 

But oh, so many things are changing in milliseconds.

Once all ready, the two of us walked the streets of Seoul, side to side, and watched each other’s backs. Unlike the past few days, I’m letting my hair down. Always putting it up in that stocking cap kind of irritates my scalp a little, so it’s honestly relieving to let it down today, just flowing over my back like a rippling river. Believe it or not, it IS difficult to play a blonde daily, I mean, imagine waking up so early every single day to get ready? It’s not the best part of this whole playing pretend sequence, but I have no choice.

If FNC falls, I fall.

And once I fall, how could I keep up my promise to him?

“I’m looking for Soullie. Is he there?” I leaned forward, trying to see him through the blurry windows behind the staff member, who stood inside the counter. Theo was next to me, dressed in an outfit with better color choices. 

Finally, some periwinkle. “Oh, I’ll call him!” The nice HR happily answered back, excusing herself later on as the assassin and I stayed at the lobby nearby. 

I remember how depressing it was to be here with no assurance of leaving… The only thing that could make anyone leave this place is once their eighteenth birthday comes up. It’s either that or we get adopted by some couple who wanted to house kids that weren’t theirs to begin with. 

And it turns out, my mother's suicide was a big deal to those potential parents I had before.

“... You okay, Y/N?”

“Yeah… Just a lot of memories.”

Looking over to the counter, the HR came out of the back door, already walking next to the boy I was looking for, as I smiled at the sight of him, all good and left without any scratches this time. “Soullie,” I whispered his name, rising from the bench as he sprinted towards me with his arms wide open, welcoming me for a hug. “Oh, I missed you so much!”

“Me too,” he responded softly, later keeping his distance from me to just stare for more than a second at least. “... I thought you wouldn’t show up anymore after you went to Milan.” I couldn’t even think of what I was going to tell him next. Did he think I would leave him for some easy job at Milan? Of course not. How could I leave the only human being I’ve ever cared for?

“No- That would never happen. Why would you think that?” I hugged him once again, tighter than the first one, as the HR smiled at the two of us. I’m just thankful that no one else knows about my job. It’d cause way too much drama with the priests. “I already told you before, I’ll always come back. A promise is a promise, Soul… Besides, I went there so we don’t have to think about the money anymore. For you… For both of us.”

It took me back to those days in the orphanage where I used to be bossed around by the older kids. No wonder they weren’t adopted, because who the fuck would want to take demons in for children? No, thanks. “Maybe if you weren’t such a bitch, your parents wouldn’t have given you up!” One of those ruthless kids screamed at the rookie, and I could just remember how I tucked my ears behind both ends of the pillow, trying to sleep so furiously. 

But God, I couldn’t take it anymore when I heard him cry.

Rubbing off the blur from my eyes, I went down the ladder of the bunk bed, setting my feet on the tiles flat, as my roommates repeatedly warned me not to go after them. “You know what happens when Jaemin sees you fucking around!” Yujin wanted me to remember the way that boy’s knuckles came straight to my face without a warning. It’s a good thing the orphanage still covered our insurance, or I would’ve been living with an uneven nose. 

“Well, I can’t sleep and I don’t want to waste time anymore,” I muttered back, making my way to the door as I silently twist the doorknob, not wanting to attract any attention. “If I don’t get back, put sunflowers on my grave. Thanks.”

All of my roommates raised their thumbs, later retreating under their blankets, shivering in fear after Jaemin probably struck another punch at the kid. I knew I had to do something. I can’t let that kid live with any serious injuries.

“I’m the fucking boss here, you hear me?!”

I rested my face against the side of the door, peeking at whatever torture was happening to the newbie as I couldn’t stop myself from barging in. Without a word, I balled up my fist and swung it against the boy’s face, blood dripping from his nose in less than a second. 

“Shut the fuck up.” I was sweating, both nervous and frustrated at him and his group of friends, but none of them even tried to fight back. I always asked myself why they decided to leave us alone, but now, I finally understood why: It was the first time someone from the “losers” fought back. 

“Are you okay? Let’s get you to the nurse.” 

“W- Who are you?”

There was a moment of silence and confusion before I could even say my name to him, which led me to find out that he must’ve been a foreigner since those words didn’t sound natural at all. “I’m Y/N… You?”

“Soul.”

Those three years with him were something that I never thought I’d get to experience again. I was sixteen and he was barely a teen when we met. It was like every time we hung out after a fight with those boys or the rude canteen staff, I was fixing my childhood; the inner child that I didn’t pay much attention to. 

I’m not the best at admitting things that pained me, but there are a lot of things I lacked from and whenever I remember them, it always makes me feel as if I didn’t deserve any of it.

But in the end, I was just a child. Maybe now, I don’t deserve to even skip down the streets with a look of victory on my face when the pulse left its body, but if the world decided not to commit arson on me, I wouldn’t have done anything close to what I’m doing now. 

“Y/N, please! Don’t leave me!” Soul’s hands were grabbing down my shirt, trying to pull me away from the two staff members who guarded me on my way out. After that one punch I gave Jaemin, my acts of violence refused to slow down. It’s faster. It got more creative over time, but I was never given the chance to have some extension the day I turned eighteen. Let’s just say it’s not the best birthday gift ever. “I’m so sorry, Soullie…” I kept my head down, not even taking a glance at him and the other staff members who prevented him from coming closer to me.

I felt like a monster that day.

And a year later, I turned into one.

“Y/N, can I ask you for something? I hope it doesn’t bother you too much,” Soul asked alongside a comment that caught my attention. The three of us were just talking about that new Spider-Man movie that got released and how we were going to watch it together once Theo and I had done the job. “I’ll be leaving in August and I don’t think I'll be adopted anytime soon… I have nowhere to go-”

“Oh, but you do. I’ll take you in.” I interrupted him, letting him know that I’d let him live with me after this whole orphanage fiasco. Sure, it’ll be a tough time once he realizes how hard it is to be a protected criminal, but no one else would be there for him except for me. That’s not selfish of me. The inside staff here could be shit, especially the ones at the canteen. I don’t know if they even changed the staff, but hopefully, they did because once I find out that they did something to Soul, blood will be on my knuckles again, and I’ll make sure it’s not mine. 

“You’d do that for me?”

“To be honest, she’d do anything for you.” 

This was one of the moments I’d accept the fact that Theo was right. Soul is my only family, and if I can’t save him, I’d never be able to forgive myself. “Thank you so much, Y/N. I don’t know how I could pay you back for this.” The young boy slightly smiled as if he’d been feeling guilty for asking me about it, which he shouldn’t. He should’ve expected that I would take him in once his extension ends. 

“You don’t have to. You’ve already done enough.” I brushed his brunet locks with my fingers gently, just finding him precious. 

Yeah, I don’t think he’d be a perfect roommate because he could be too annoying at times, but that’s what family is for. I think shit roommates are the most fun.

Speaking of shit roommates, I’m already trapped with one. “You know, I’m actually adopted.” Theo chuckled, dangling and playing with his spare keys before putting them down on the table next to the door. The two of us decided that it was best for us to come back home once the staff was looking for Soul already. For some reason, visitation hours at Saint Agnes's are worse than jail because once you’re already deep into the conversation, they just come and take away that piece of happiness from the orphan. 

“... Wait, you’re not joking?”

“M’hm.”

Theo made his way to the kitchen, opening up the fridge to take the last can of beer for himself as I followed him there. With no shame, I pulled one of the drawers from the counter, smiling at him before taking one of the glass straws he bought from Rhodes. “What makes you think you’re allowed to take stuff?” He snarkily shot back, only pushing me further into putting that straw into his freezing drink. 

“Can we just admit that you’re also a shit roommate?” There was absolutely nothing stopping me from asking him that question, catching him off-guard as he snickered at the way I just said it, no hint of conscience in my voice.

“Never did I think that we’d have so many similarities till now,'' Theo admitted with a brighter smile on his face, holding the drink near me as I took a few sips from it. “... If you think about it, we’re the same.”

“I won’t disagree with you there,” I admitted as well, staring back at the living room as I let out a breathy snicker. “We make a pretty great team.” That was another first. I’m normally not like this unless the person’s got on my good side. Even assassins like us have good sides, but most of the time, they remain hidden in plain sight.

Instead of blaming the ones who did the dirtiest work, why not ask questions to those who gave them money to do it?

“Mom and Dad were also FNC employees,” He said it all so casually that I wasn’t even sure how I was going to react to it. Theo always comes up with the craziest topics to talk about. I think his calm and collected personality cancels out the weirdness in him. “I guess you could say that I was both a son and an intern during my high school years.” He crossed his arms, smiling at the memories he had before, as I only stood there, too startled to even say something back. 

I felt sorry for him, but I didn’t know why. The emotion just came out like that. I can’t completely hold whatever I feel back.

My fingers unwittingly played with the top part of the glass straw, in a trance as I thought about how my life could’ve been if I were him. No trauma. No vengeance. No personal vendetta. It’s just nothing, and that disturbs me the most. “But when I watched the way you talked to Soul, I realized that I liked how…” He took a pause, turning to the side to stare back at me with fascination in his eyes. Like a scientist in the middle of a discovery. “... How normal you were.” Hearing him say that with a voice that sounded close to a whisper broke me. “Ever imagined a world where… we didn’t get to experience the things that hurt us?”

“Always.”

“Oh, we really are the same.”

He then pulled the beer can near him, taking a sip from the little opening, not caring if the end of the straw was touching his face. “I’ll go take a nap. Do whatever you want, just don’t make a mess.” Theo abruptly excused himself, but he still stood there, waiting for a response from me while I just looked back at him, finding it hard to turn away. 

His face. It’s hard not to stare at him. Is it just me, or have I not realized how good he looks before?

Theo cocked his head to the side, another smile creeping up his face as if he was ready to tease me about it– whatever this was. “It won’t be long,” he reminded me, patting my right shoulder nicely as he later leaned forward, his face inches away from mine. Softly, his pillow-like lips grazed over my forehead, letting out a bit of a squeaky noise as I looked up at him, feeling my heart race faster. Was he drunk? Why am I freaking out? There’s no way he’s drunk. He knows it. He knows whatever the hell he’s doing, and it’s making my heart–

“See you later, Ann.” 

To sum it up, my first day back in Seoul was maybe six on a scale of one to ten.

It was full of surprises, and I was a little annoyed. I think the airplane food made it worse but the gravy made it at least better.

My second day? It started off with laying down my suitcase on the floor of a new flat with the same arrogant, useless ghost following me from behind.

It’s not a home sweet home situation; it just feels like you’re coming over to an apartment you've never even stepped foot in and calling it home. Nothing familiar. Never anything.

“I had a bigger apartment than this.” I pointed out. 

My left eye was starting to twitch as I sat down on the huge couch comfortably. I used to live in white walls and clean tiles, black and gray cupboards, and the rectangular windows that showed me the essence of the city. “... But this isn’t so bad… I think…”

Now, I’m just living in some old apartment with dull colored walls and these antiques. It’s not my favorite aesthetic, but I could bear living in this home without this prick. “Italy, right?” Theo ignored what I said about his home, which also resulted in me nodding. I guess the only thing that’s great about this guy is that he’s somewhat of an engager. Someone with whom I could talk to about random things, which isn’t so bad in my opinion.

“Milan,” I said back casually, giving him some space to sit in but of course, this dimwit would want to remain standing. “I have a huge thing for clothes, you know?”

“Really?” The assassin grimaced, squinting his eyes at the clothes I wore. What’s wrong with the yellow coat? I mean, it looks like a rain coat, but it’s also because I’m a walking warning sign from the heavens above and especially the hells below… Or maybe the vibrance hurts his eyes. I should probably take a note of that. “I kinda don’t believe you.” He snickered as I faked a laugh, placing my boots over the table nearby. Somehow, it made him lightly slap my thigh– well, harshly.

“Hey! That hurt! Why’d you do that?!” I blurted out at him, softly caressing the part he hit, but he only shrugged nonchalantly as if he didn’t see the problem with that. “It’s my first day with you, and I’m trying my best to relax,” I grunted at him.

“This is my house and you are going to live with me, so please, have some manners,” he pleaded, half-assed of course, but I took it as an order. We’re working for the same organization as partners. He doesn’t hold power over me, and I don’t hold power over him since we should be a team, so I guess I’ll go towards the hard path instead. “What about you? Do you have any requests for me?”

“Clean freak? Sure, just don’t hit me again.” I scoffed

“... Understandable.” He muttered under his breath, bitter.

That made me smile… No reason, but I’m glad he saw me as an equal, too. “Anyway, no time for chit chat. Let’s check the profiles,” Theo quickly added, taking out the binder from his suitcase as he laid it flat on the table. Flipping through its pages, he made another face of disgust once he read the name. “... Christian Lee? Can’t FNC think of a better name than that?”

“Oh, come on. It’s not that bad,” I replied, turning to the next page to see my brand new profile. Good Lord, what in the world is that name? I’m squeamish when horrifying things like this happen. “Ann Gu… This is a nightmare.” I breathed out, stretching my arms up as I let out a loud groan.

This is annoying! It’s like FNC wants us to carry out the corniest stuff. Why can’t we pick our own names like Caitlyn Park? Or Matthew Seok?

A Canadian couple engaged last year and are starting a new life in Seoul, huh? Something about that sentence just didn’t sit well with me. I mean, seriously, what kind of background story is this? First, FNC wants me to work with this other guy, and then, there’s this. I have to play a nice, vulnerable character for their safety… Bummer.

I’m just uneasy; I’ve never been undercover before. I just do the job and go with my life with it.

But I guess I don’t have a choice. I’d need money to live, and as far as I know, people like me get the most cash. Sure, it’s like a leash around my neck at first, but as it gets longer, the power drives me to do it. No, not that kind of power that makes me want to act like a douche around helpless, dumb people but the capability of putting the fear of God over them is satisfactory; problematic for me, isn’t it? But God, I live for it.

“Oh? I’m engaged to Christian actually.” I posed sophisticatedly, showing off the cheap, fake diamond ring to my colleagues. I was no longer the Poétesse anymore. I’m just the lovely, daring Ann Gu of Toronto.

“Oh, you’re so lucky!” Julie, the woman sitting next to my space, congratulated me, and somehow, I could see how envious she was. If only she knew the ring was fake.

But then, the cheery look on her face turned to gray the moment she noticed the bruises that wrapped around my wrist, which were from my last stay in Milan. “... Um, is that- is he good?” She couldn't even form the right question as thoughts began to drain down my mind, running out of ideas. That was NOT part of the plan.

“... Oh, that’s not–” I bluntly chuckled, the enthusiasm fading away as I rolled down the sleeve. “Don't mind it.”

I refused to talk about it. It was just something that the target left on me before this whole catastrophe of a mission. It's no big deal, but when you're playing the shy and girlish character of someone named Ann, light bruises suddenly become a huge impact. Yeri nodded once and chose to follow those last three words, turning to her personal desk as she began doing her work, whatever that was. Data configuration? I don't really understand it. Math is not my strongest suit.

I decided to get up from my seat, walking over to the other side of the room, where Theo (well, Christian, Ann's fiancé) sat. “Hey, Honey, can I talk to you for a minute?” I asked him with the most polite tone I could ever form, so dainty and so light sounding as if he'd hear a feather speak.

“Sure thing.” The undercover assassin smiled back at me, his eyes glimmering under the light like he's been drawn to his… fiancée. By far, this is the weirdest thing I've done, and I'm used to putting bullets in people's heads.

"So, what do you want to talk about?" He asked as we were in a more private corner of the office, causing me to roll my sleeve up a little to show the bruises around my skin.

“Someone thinks I'm in an abusive relationship with you.” I later rolled it down once more, taking a few glances at our surroundings as relief sank in. I'm glad that no one's looking at us. We're kind of an introverted couple, I think?

"Well, keep the intrigue going."

"Wait, you're not against this…?"

Theo then crossed his arms, his head tilted to the side, before taking a closer look at the bruises. "The more 'personal' it gets, the more convincing we are." He was all relaxed about it, letting my wrist go by, carefully placing it down as he looked at me with nothing but determination in his gaze. "Let's go back. We don't want to be too suspicious on our first day."

And without a word, I was seated back at my spot again, figuring out the company's system. I should've learned more about tech, but hey, I didn't expect to work here for a few days.

I'm an assassin, not a girl from the IT department. I can’t even type on the keyboard as fast as these people; this is really hard.

Then, the glass doors slowly drifted apart, making way for the special person in the entire company. It was ZB1's founder and CEO, Jiwoong Kim. "Good morning, Sir." We all greeted him in unison, bowing down as he just stared back at us with an unreadable face. Well, in my opinion, I think he's feeling a lot of things all at once. Maybe not the expressive type of guy. Typical CEO things.

"Is he usually like that?" I asked the other data guy next to me (I'm basically sandwiched in between two nerds), as he didn't even take a pause to nod right away, his bottom lip slightly puckered out.

"Always. A lot of people say he's very mysterious," the guy took another pause, sipping from his cup of iced coffee. "It's pretty much expected not to get a reaction from him."

My eyes slowly trailed down from his face to his shirt, noticing the name tag he pinned over his chest that said, Sung Hanbin. "... Ah, well… That’s not wrong," I replied, still staring at the name tag before looking back at him. It's best for me to remember the names of the people I'm close to.

Hours passed by, and it was finally lunch break, which meant that Theo and I had to do some talking. I mean, it wouldn't be suspicious if I'm talking to a significant other, right? This is probably why FNC thought that it's best for us to be this foreign-engaged couple.

"Did you pick up on anything?" I questioned as he immediately showed me his screen. It turns out that he's been working as an assistant for the secretary, Zhang Hao, and it seems that he's noticed something strange with the company's list of participants in every single agenda.

"You see that? It's really weird that there are names with those letters," he said, pointing the tip of his finger towards the list of names as I looked closer at it. "Jangwoo, Jongwoo, Jungwon, Jaewon, Joo-In. They're all having those same syllabications at least."

ㅈ ㅇ

"Nice one," I admitted, chuckling as I scrolled down the pages further, later noticing something else.

Even the CEO and the vice president have similar first names, "Jiwoong Kim and Jiung Choi." That's strange. It could be a coincidence, but in a situation like this, it merely happens. "Jiwoong and Jiung are different people, correct?"

Oh, and how he widened his eyes at the realization. "... We need to look into them more." The corner of his lips curled upwards as he lifted his head up from the screen of his computer. I was expecting that he’d say a thank you, but I guess that’s why he reached out for my hand, grasping it into his own palm gently as he placed a soft kiss over it, plump lips brushing against my skin like a pillow.

“This is why I’ll marry you,” he expressed, his voice as smooth as ever as I raised an eyebrow a little, slightly tilting my head to the side, confused and in disbelief at what he just did. “You’re not the only one good at this.”

Oh, I almost forgot. “... I know,” I mouthed, rubbing the tip of my thumb against the back of his hand as I soon let go of it. “I’ll be back in a bit, honey.” I left a kiss on his cheek, leaving his place with a smile on my face while the rest of the employees stared in either awe or jealousy. Either way, I win.

However, there was someone who didn’t seem to like what he just saw. “I hope you know that there’s a time and place for flirting, Miss.” He had a deep, monotone voice, which made me turn around and face him. It was none other than Jiung Choi, the chief operating officer of the company.

“Oh? We’re engaged, actually,” I fired back, faking a smile while I showed him the ring that Christian proposed to me with. “I’m not just flirting with him. He’s my fiancé.”

In return, he just laughed at what I said, later shaking his head as if I had made a small mistake. “Oh, Ms. Ann, don’t be ridiculous. One of your friends told me he hurts you,” he says out loud, causing me to take a deep, shaky breath, pretending that I was offended by what he revealed. “Believe it or not, I can help you.”

“No, I’m fine–”

“You’re not. It’s never okay.”

I turned away from him once more, walking back to my desk as I could feel he watched every step I took. And when I reached my space, I noticed how much of a terrible liar Yeri was, acting all obvious about the fact that she told people about my relationship with Christian. For Ann, this could be her worst day ever. But for me, everything's just falling according to plan.

“I shouldn’t have told him,” she blurted out faintly, her fingers tapping across her keyboard frantically as she took short glances at me. “I’m sorry.”

There's a melody in my head.

Remember that song by that one band I keep forgetting about? The song goes along the lines of Sally waiting, and that has always been my favorite song ever since I first turned on the radio. It's funny to think that the first song that comes up would be my favorite, but you know, I wasn't offered the choice to choose a playlist when I was in prison.

Juvy.

I've come a long way from that.

The song even followed me to Milan, where I live in an old, quiet flat alongside a few neighbors. I'm narrating all of this from my point of view, even though no one really would listen to what I think; although, I do think the things I think about are interesting... Well, that's quite a tongue twister.

Okay, let's go back to the actual story. I'm getting way too distracted.

Hanging up the wet jet black jacket on the rack, I heard a few knocks on my door. Strange. I haven't had anyone knock on my door since last week.

"That's new." I quickly took the pistol from the coffee table next to my couch, gripping it firmly behind my back. I was slowly heading my way to the front door when I heard that familiar cough.

Oh, thank god.

It's just my boss.

"Keeho!" I exclaimed with such joy (and relief), welcoming him with a tight hug. No, not as tight as a chokehold. Just a normal, painless, and heartwarming hug. "È così bello vederti!"

Gosh, I've been waiting for his call since my last task. Unlike before, the two of us were more like roommates until I was transferred here, and life here was good. So, so good to me that I sometimes forget that I cut off the strings of a rando's life. FNC, on the other hand, had the real chokehold on him for the past few months, and I guess he needs to make up for whatever it is that's bothering the board.

"Woah, your Italian's getting a lot better," he complimented, his eyes seemingly widening at how natural it sounded. Well, I've had a few teachers. "No wonder the company didn't want to let you go."

"Well, I had someone believing in me and here I am... Being the best in my position." I returned the compliment to him, which made him chuckle. It didn't take him long to enter my apartment, his gaze fixated on the newly washed clothes that were hung up on the rack.

"So... what exactly brought you here again?"

Even if we were bonded at the hip, I knew that he was here for business, and I had no problem with that. Why? Because if the business never took place, then I wouldn't have met someone who'd pull me out of my misery, which is a nice feeling.

In just a second, the crinkle he had between his eyebrows disappeared as he put on a smile. "Oh, it's nothin'. Just a psychological check-up for you from FNC," he said, nodding eagerly as I did the same. "It wouldn't be such a bother if both of us returned to Seoul, right?"

"To Seoul? Are you serious? Is there no one else here who could do that for me?" I questioned, and he just shook his head. "... Oh? So, I really have to go all the way there instead of doing a check-up here." I have to be honest, I don't want to leave Milan at all. I have the best clothes. Nice apartment. And I wasn't a familiar face.

I already have a life here, and it's a good one.

"Then, I guess we will fly back. It's no problem." I smiled, pouring myself some cheap wine in one of those stunted, short glasses. No choice: I'm quite literally a free man with a target on his back. He pulled out a stapled paper bag from his coat, which had the money I was looking forward to since last night. To be honest, these fights aren't even that tough. I've had tougher ones in juvy; fights that I wasn't sure if I'd make it out of. But I did make it out and now, I'm here.

And for some fucking reason, I needed to fly back to Seoul. "You have twenty-four hours to pack up. I'll see you at the airport." Keeho, once again, waved his hand goodbye as he left the apartment. Well, honestly, it's not really that big of a deal. It's just a psychological check-up. I'm sure my mind isn't off the rails right now. I mean, I'm good at my job and maybe even the best, which is why I'm not stuck in Seoul, and it helps because I don't ever want to go back there.

The day after that, I found myself sitting next to Keeho once again, wearing a hat and a pair of sunglasses to keep myself away from the attention. No pink boots. Nothing. Just a regular, black, fitted top and a pair of slacks. It's depressing to be in these clothes – I feel a little bad for the office people who wear this mundane shit – but then, again, I'm going back to where I started and the Poétesse could be recognizable there, which is so not fetch.

For fuck's sake, it's like mental torture already. Maybe I did need that check-up because these clothes are just miserable. "Are you sure that I'm not in trouble?" I couldn't keep my mouth shut the moment we stepped out of Jeju Airlines as worry started to sink in. I didn't want to disappoint him or anyone else in the organization. I owe them too much. "I mean, what if I get fired?"

"No, you will not. Besides, it's just a little inspection," Keeho said with a rather comforting tone as he even let me inside his car first before going inside himself. "There's nothing to worry about, I can assure you. FNC is just like this... A little spontaneous as usual."

I hope he's saying this for real because the last time he said it wasn't a big deal, I was kept hostage by some crazy billionaire. Crazier than I am, huh? Such a weirdo. Possibly a pervert.

It wasn't fun to be trapped in his basement for more than a week but thankfully, my trusty handler, Keeho, was there to save the day. There's been so many times I almost died but this job is... It's just complicated; I have a golden leash that turns into a noose every time I hit a curb. Thanks, FNC.

"I'm glad you're finally here, my favorite." Rowoon, also known as the founder, welcomed the two of us into his office as I remembered the first time I ever walked into this room. It was the month of June, the time when I was bailed out of prison and had some of my information deleted.

"It's nice to see you too, Mr. Kim," I greeted back, slightly bowing my head down as I headed towards the empty seat. Another unusual thing is that he has this other guy around. That's not something I'd expect from a private meeting, but FNC has its ways... I think? Now, I'm just not sure of what's happening.

But I'm sure FNC has it handled.

"I'm sure you two have already met, right?" The big boss had his palms lying over the unseen air as if he were showcasing prizes from a game show. Yes, I've met this dark-haired, pale, and tall man in jet-black yet high fashion before, but only once and... I didn't like him completely; he was annoying to me. I just don't see the point in dressing like that, bland and boring. Where are the colors? Why do the others dress in funeral shades? I mean, if you're good at this job, wear it with confidence.

It's like saying condolences to the job, which makes sense, but why do the clothes have to pay respect to the dead? They don't even know them; Clothes don't even speak. "Of course, we've met- Why is he here?" I asked in a rather demanding tone because there's no way that the man sitting on the other side is my psychiatrist for the day. Did Keeho lie to me? I'm not even surprised, but I'm getting concerned about what words the big boss tells me. "I thought this was a mental health evaluation? A check-up?"

Am I getting fired? This is not great for my blood pressure.

Rowoon sighs, clasping his hands together with a nervous smile creeping up his face. "... This isn't therapy, is it?" I asked again, disappointment diving in without a cue as I side-eyed the other assassin, who already knew what was up. Just as I thought that I'd be returning here to live my life casually, even for a tiny second, I should've known it wasn't possible.

I kill people, what the hell is this about?

"You got that right," he murmured, still finding it difficult to tell me all the things that they've had planned. "... FNC... Well, we're sort of fucked at the moment."

I tilted my head to the side, curious about the matter. That's a new sentence from him. Usually, he'd either scold me for going too far with the job or he'd tell me that I deserved a raise, which would cover both Keeho and I. So, what's the meaning of this?

Why is FNC, a multimillion dollar private organization, fucked at the moment?

"Just two days ago, two of our interns were murdered at midnight." Rowoon then slid the folder over his desk, presenting the two victims. One was named Na Kamden, a newbie who started training a few months ago, while the other one was named Choi Jiho, a highly skilled hacker. "Their bodies were found in the lobby with these letters scribbled over their foreheads."

ㅈ ㅇ

Then, we saw the two letters written in what seemed like their own blood as I furrowed my brows. As much as I've done worse in the field, I'm just not a fan of these sick bastards like a hypocrite; I know they're just doing their jobs, but no need to kill off interns. For fuck's sake, they aren't even paid yet. "Do those seem familiar to you?" He asked, pointing at the symbols as I shook my head, later seeing how the other assassin did the same. It's strange that something like this would happen inside the company.

Maybe it's a mole.

Or maybe not. I don't know, I'm not a police officer.

But one thing I noticed for sure is that the son of a bitch had precise yet different technique. Bruises over the neck and taped-up mouths. It's classic strangling with a twist, as if it were someone like me who did it.

Is it a copycat assassin? I'm not sure at all.

"Fortunately, Mr. Yoon looked into more info, and here's what we've found." He slid another open folder next to the previous one, showing us the name of a famous tech company, "Zerobase Technologies."

What does that have to do with this?

"After doing a little more digging, I believe that Zerobase Technologies might be holding a form of blackmail against us... And that's why you two, my best talents, need to cooperate on this one."

Every bit of my nerves tingle just by hearing that last sentence from him. I know this is no ordinary task, but does he really think that I can't do this all by myself? I'm going to prove him wrong because I don't need anyone like Theo to accompany me. It's not impossible that the mastermind is just some old, scruffy man from some other foreign country. He's killed two interns from FNC, I know, but this scenario has been going on for ages. It's a big deal but unsurprising; I probably only need Theo when I'm about to die or something, which never happens, and I'm sure it never will.

But it could offer a lot of fun, I hope. "Wait, do you think I'm not capable of doing this on my own?" My words have never sounded as overconfident as ever, but what's not to be so confident about my skills? Numerous handlers told me they wished I were theirs, but that's the problem. Keeho doesn't claim to own me. We are equals.

"It's not that I think that... You're just a little sloppy these days." Rowoon's tone shifted to a more sarcastic tone as I let out a scoff, offended.

"Sloppy?! Where did that come from?"

"Remember, you are not an artist. You're a poet."

He crossed his arms, having a rather dominating stance, as I could just feel how Keeho buried his face under one palm. "I don't need any of your murals. I want silent work... much like how Theo does it."

"Ugh," I uttered, rolling my eyes shamelessly. "I'd rather work solo."

Being compared to another assassin wasn't what I asked for. I didn't even ask to fly back here just to be ranked lower than somebody else. God, I want to point a rifle at every single one of 'em.

Sleale, as the Italians say.

And what's even more annoying is the smirk painted on Theo's face like he tricked someone into walking down the staircase to hell without his awareness. "... But I must say, maybe Poétesse is right. Maybe it's better if we work separately... You did say we're your best talents." He tried persuading the founder, but it was no use; the look of hesitance dawning over his perfect, prince-like looks. No wonder he's so proud of himself over me being basically put down. He's nothing but a privileged assassin. A weird combination, but I can name a few of them.

"You both have no choice. I want whoever is behind this dead and gone, are we clear?"

Ugh.