It's My World... Your In It

47 y/o man with 3 kids:

Me: I don’t personally understand the desire to have children, or why do many feel like failures when they’re unable to

Dad: (in that voice that indicates he thinks he’s about to drop some real Knowledge™️ on me) well you have to understand; if you reach a certain age and don’t have children, people will look at you weirdly. Nobody wants that

Me: …You’re saying you were peer pressured into having a baby? Like you were afraid of being “the weird kid” except you were a grown man with a job? Do you think that’s a good thing?

Dad:

*Scooby dashes inside to escape the monster*

*moment of silence*

*Scooby exits again, without a word*

*takes time to wipe his paws off on the mat*

Me: “Whoa! That’s, like… an actual joke, which never happens in the show! That’s worth 1/3rd of a point, A Pup Named Scooby-Doo.”

*much later*

*the whole gang is freaked out by the aforementioned monster*

*they all frantically run inside*

*moment of silence*

*they exit again, and – simultaneously – all wipe their feet off*

Me: “Ok, that’s cheesy and wonderful. 2/3rds of a point.”

*monster immediately scrambles inside after them*

*moment of silence*

Me: “…pleasepleasepleasepleaseplease–”

Me: “YESSSSSSSSSSSSSS”

Me: “FULL COMEDY POINT AWARDED, A PUP NAMED SCOOBY-DOO!”