lungs transform to take in water

*talking loudly to my fat golf friends* now jeez… chevy chase. if he had a pussy i would lay him out like pizza dough

i was working a woodfire pizza oven at a golf course in college when i wrote this, in case you ever doubted the puzzle that is my world

Cannot overstate how many flavours of bullshit disguised as political opinion can be shut down by “none of my business” or “don’t be rude”

I'm imagining a world where RPGMaker somehow made it as the de facto codebase for software and you have to navigate your banking app by walking around in a huge room full of NPCs named "make deposit" and "make withdrawal" etc and there's loud as fuck stock music playing

does spilling sauce all over yourself and eating in bed stop at 25 or am i fucked

do u have a vibrator in ur pants or is ur penis just so scared

the monastery sensory room has some herbs to smell as well as a handful of fun textured relics

NOBODY HELPS ME