The One Momma Warned You About

I want her so bad it hurts

"Lovebirds" always sounded too neutral and weak to me. I'm a lovemegaladon. Just like the Megaladon my love life is also extinct.

Sometimes I see people and get this tingly sensation all over and I'm not sure if it's sexual desire or bloodlust.

what if instead of father we called reverends daddy instead

I wish my life was a harem anime

One time in fourth grade there was a fun day thing in the gymnasium and one of the games was firing a sticky dart gun at a movie poster for Space Jam. I grabbed the gun and the guy running the game said to shoot my least favorite character so I took aim at Daffy faggot fucking Duck and his stupid goddamn duck bill and his fucking beady little eyes and right before I pulled the trigger a kid nudged me so I ended up shooting Michael Jordan right in his legendary face and everybody around me thought I was racist so I ran away to the food table and that's the story of how I tasted my first no bake cookie

I used to be cute and handsome as a kid I'm not sure what sent wrong