Amortentia

STRANGER THINGS

When a young boy vanishes, a small town uncovers a mystery involving secret experiments, terrifying supernatural forces and one strange little girl.

CHARACTERS INCLUDE/MAY INCLUDE: robin buckley, nancy wheeler, steve harrington, eddie munson

OFF CAMPUS

A group of hockey players and college students all just trying to find their school-life balance

CHARACTERS INCLUDE/ MAY INCLUDE: john logan, john tucker, dean di laurentis

SUPERMAN

A bumbling reporter chasing after the next great story all while concealing his secret identity as Metropolis' Superman.

CHARACTER INCLUDE/MAY INCLUDE: clark kent, superman

MARVEL

In a world of androids, aliens, and wizards, even the superpowered heros deserve bit of normalcy.

CHARACTERS INCLUDE/MAY INCLUDE: bucky barnes, bob reynolds, johnny storm, (and anticipating others)

HARRY POTTER

Surrounding the world of The Boy Who Lived, and those who came before.

CHARACTERS INCLUDE/ MAY INCLUDE: george weasley, sirius black, regulus black, remus lupin, wolfstar, james potter

CRIMINAL MINDS

When an elite team of FBI profilers travel the country to investigate the nation's most twisted serial killers.

CHARACTERS INCLUDE/ MAY INCLUDE: aaron hotchner, spencer reid, elle greenaway, luke alvez

HOLIDAY SPECIALS

A holiday marathon for all of my fan-favorites to liven up the holiday season

CHARACTERS INCLUDE: steve harrington, spencer reid, bucky barnes, anthony bridgerton, clark kent, aaron hotchner, johnny storm, bob reynolds, george weasley, fiyero tigelaar, sirius black, eddie munson

MISCELLANEOUS

Where the rest of my stories reside when I am not ready to commit to an entire fandom.

You don’t date, you don’t do romance, and you certainly don’t do men. You kept mostly to yourself because it was easier to keep your head down and steer clear from the chaos the universe was ready to throw at you.

As far as you were concerned, you were at Briar U to study, pass, and graduate. No need for hookups, or relationships, or even parties. You didn’t want any of it.

The only reason why you were even here in the first place, in these clothes that weren’t even yours, in a bar you had no business being in, was because of the world most meddlesome roommates, Hannah and Allie.

You could barely even remember what favor you owed or bet you lost that put you in this position, but now you were paying it back in the form of a blind date.

The worst part about it all is that you had no clue who it was which, yes, was exactly the point of a blind date, but it didn’t soothe any of your worries. All you knew about this mystery man was that he was good-looking, a hockey player, ‘good with his hands’. (Allie’s words), and his name was John Logan.

No part of you liked that description. No part of you liked any of this. You tugged the hem of your dress down lower, anxiously looking around until you laid your eyes on who could only be your blind date.

You weren’t sure exactly how you could tell. Maybe it was because he walked in with the confidence you expected from a hockey player, or the fact that you’ve likely seen him around Allie and Hannah, or just sheer intuition.

All thoughts of running out and ditching this whole event went out the window the moment he made eye contact with you. A smile flashed across his cheeks—boyishly charming in a way that rang alarm bells in your head—as he made his way over to you.

“Hey, y/n right?”

He held hand out for you and hesitantly, you met his. “Yeah…you’re John Logan?”

Despite the callouses across his palm, there was a warmth to his hold, as if he was made to draw you in.

“That’s me.” And he smiled a smile that had this rare quality to it; something that invited you in. “Hannah told me you were beautiful, but I don’t think words describe it enough.”

You let out a small huff of a laugh as you disconnected your hand from his. “You say that to all the girls you go out with?”

Yet he didn’t falter, didn’t even pause as he slid into the bar stool next to you. “I haven’t really been in the dating business for a while so if that means just you then yeah…I do.”

Ironic that it was you who faltered, your heart stuttering in your chest before you clamped your mouth shut and plastered on a smile.

“Charming,” you mused. “That’s dangerous, isn’t it?”

His brows dipped down in a moment of confusion, but that same smile still took his lips, even if it dimmed down just an inch. “How so?”

“Well I—” you stopped, feeling that burning embarrassment spread through your chest. “Never mind, it’s nothing.”

Your smile was tight as you turned towards the bar and away from him. You weren’t quite sure what to do—where to put your hands, where to look, how to sit. You hated all of it. All you wanted was to find the safety of your room.

In your room there was no judgment, no thick tension that left you awaiting what the next person would say.

“Did you already order yourself something,” he asked, leaning his arms against the bar top as he looked over to you.

Maybe it was just the lights of the bar, but his eyes seemed to shine with some unsaid something as he looked at you hopefully.

But you shook it off.

“No,” you responded, voice clipped as you looked away from him., wringing your hands from underneath the bar top. “I’m not much of a drinker.”

“All cool,” he responded, hardly even fazed. “I’ve gotta drive home tonight so I wasn’t gonna get anything either.”

“Really?” There was a trying air of sarcasm lacing your voice. “I thought you hockey boys were all about your drinking and parties.”

And for the first time that night, he was struck silent. It sat in the air for a moment before you looked back up at him, eyes widened as he looked back at you.

Yet, in his eyes there was annoyance or boredom or even agitation…

He was studying you.

You didn’t have a snappy reply or some snide comment you managed to mutter under your breath. You could only bring yourself to anticipate his next move.

“Was it something I said?”

Your jaw fell slack for just a moment, unsure of what to say as you opened and closed your mouth before finally forcing something out. “What?”

“Did I say something wrong? Because I feel like I said something wrong.”

“No, no,” you sputtered out, more expressive than you had been the whole night. “It’s…no, you’re fine.”

He looked at you quizzically, tilting his head off to the side. “You clearly have some sort of chip on your shoulder.”

He didn’t look mad and he didn’t look frustrated. If anything, he only seemed to be scooting closer to you, trying desperately to understand what went wrong. And something in that only threw you off even more.

“I don’t have a chip on my shoulder,” you laughed—-well, tried to laugh. “I’m just out of my element here. I don’t really go on dates, much less with guys like y—.”

You cut yourself off, clamping your mouth shut, but he already caught it. A feeling of horror seemed to cover you as you watched him.

“Guys like me? What are ‘guys like me’ like, then?”

You shook your head, rising out of your seat. “I’m sorry I shouldn’t have—-this was a mistake. Sorry for wast—-,”

“Nonono,” you heard him before you felt him, but when you did it made you freeze. You looked back at him, his hand wrapped around your wrist as he looked at you hopefully. “Please I just…I mean it. What do you mean by guys like me?”

You were so sure that this was the moment. The moment he’d scoff and leave. Or the moment he’d call you some sort of name and leave. Or even the moment he’d just laugh in your face.

But he didn’t.

And that was the hardest part.

He only looked understanding, reaching out with a gentleness in his grasp. Not forcing you to stay…but asking.

So, with a bit of hesitance, you returned back to your seat right in front of him.

“I shouldn’t have said that…it came out wrong.”

He still wore that same smile across his cheeks. “Tell me about it.”

A small smile sneaked across your cheek before you let it fall, ever so stubborn. You let out the softest of sighs. “I just…I just feel like it’s always the same game with,” you looked at him as you measured your words out cautiously, “men. Boys.”

You continued on. “It’s always some sort of ruse, right? A terrible pick up line and a charming smile all to what, ditch them the second they’re no longer interesting? I’d rather cut bullshit altogether.”

It wasn’t until you finished your entire ramble that you realized that was the most you had spoken the whole night.

And John hadn’t run away yet.

If anything, he was smiling and you weren’t sure what to make of it.

“That’s fair,” he started, his voice low as he processed your words with a hint of amusement underneath it. “And if I told you I’m not the type to play games?”

You could feel that heat burn across your face, yet it wasn’t like before. Not the embarrassment that would tear through your chest as you felt put on the spot, but something new.

He was leaned in close to you, yet not quite invading your space. Just enough that you could smell the cologne he wore wafting over to you. You couldn’t help but think about how you always thought men’s cologne smelt rancid yet something about his didn’t.

“I—,” your words came out buffered before you sucked in a breath and jut your chin up. “I’d say you have to prove it to me.”

It wasn’t meant to be a challenge, but he took it as one. You felt your heart stutter as he stood from his seat and offered his hand up to you to guide you down from your bar stool.

“Okay then,” he grinned. “Lets go then.”

“Wait, what? I don’t—,”

“You said you were out of your element right? And you don’t really drink?”

You stammered for a moment but he kept looking at you with those expectant brown eyes. “I mean, yeah…”

You took his hand with hesitance, lowering yourself back down to the ground.

“Okay then,” he smiled. “I want to take you somewhere you actually like. If you have any suggestions?”

You stood there for a moment, crossing your arms. Yet Logan could see the smallest of smiles slipping on your face the longer you stared at him.

“I like music,” you offered quietly, suppressing your smile. “There’s a record shop I go to not too far from here.”

He grinned brightly, only encouraging your own steadily growing smile. “Well that sounds more entertaining than whatever we’ve got going on here, doesn’t it?”

“Yeah,” you smiled. “It does.”

He let you take the lead, trailing close behind you as you made your way to the exit. A chill ran up your spine as the cold air hit you hard.

“You’re cold,” he noted, already beginning to shrug off his letterman. “Here, take my jacket.”

“Oh, I can’t ask that of….you.” But it was too late, he was already tossing it over your shoulders.

A small part of you, the part of you that had you following this man out of the bar, simply let it happen.

“Did you drive yourself here,” he asked, taking your side as the two of you stepped in the parking lot, acting as though nothing was strange or unusual about you wearing his jacket.

“No,” you murmured. “Allie dropped me off. Figured I’d either call or…” you trailed off, letting him fill in the gap. “…yeah.”

Logan laughed. “No worries. My truck seats two for a reason.”

He was a gentleman, embarrassingly so as you recounted the entire ramble you put him through about ‘boys like him’. Before you could even reach for the door handle, he was there, already opening the door for you.

“After you.”

You let out a soft hum as you climbed into the truck, eyes trained on him. “Y’sure you’re not playing at anything?”

“Only giving you the night you deserve.”

You couldn’t help but feel grateful that he closed the door when he did as that small smile stretched into a reluctant grin across your face.

When the night began, you thought you’d be horribly miserable. You thought that Allie and Hannah would pair you with a man you could hardly even be around and you’d be counting down the minutes until you could send them the S.O.S. text.

You surely weren’t expecting to be left in a fit of laughter as John Logan walked you all the way to your door, his letterman tossed over your shoulder while the two of you bumped arms as you walked.

“Wait,” he laughed. “So in order to get you to go on this date—,”

“Allie had to cash in a bet I lost back in sophomore year,” you finished, smiling from ear to ear. “Pretty much. I probably wouldn’t have come out under any other circumstances.”

“Wow,” he gasped, putting a dramatic hand over his heart. “I’m starting to understand 10 Things I Hate About You.”

“Well then what did they tell you when they set this whole thing up?”

There was a wander in Logan’s stepped as he looked from his feet to you. “That’s actually a funny story.”

You looked up at him quizzically with a hint of amusement in your eyes. “Humor me, then.”

You watched as let out a breath of air and came to a stop. You hadn’t even realized you were right there at your door until he did.

“They didn’t have to do much convincing because I was already going to ask you out. Well at least I was in the process of trying…”

It was like your face fell away in a fell swoop—-your eyebrows dug down as your eyes widened, barely processing his words. “Wait, what?”

A sheepish laugh fell past his lips as he scratched the back of his neck. “I’ve been wanting to get to know you for…a while now.”

“I—why didn’t you?”

This time his laugh was fully humored, the crinkle under his eyes returning. “You’d glare at me every time I even got close to you!”

A gasp escaped you as you tried to stifle your laughter. “No!”

“Yes,” he exclaimed. “Hannah said it was too painful to watch!”

“Oh my god,” you grumbled, burying your face in your hands in utter embarrassment. “I’m so stupid. You probably thought I was a bitch or something.”

“Hey hey,” he laughed softly, gently taking his hands and wrapping them around your wrists, pulling your hands away from your face as he came to your level. “Don’t say that. You’re just guarded. It’s not a terrible trait to have, you just need to…get out of your head sometimes. The world isn’t always out to get you.”

And there is was again—-those eyes of his. It wasn’t the bar lights and it wasn’t the lights surrounding you, it was 100% him. They made you suddenly forget how quiet the surrounding area was, how it was just you two in that hallway. It made you suddenly feel the way he rubbed his thumbs lightly over your wrists as he held them.

And then came that feeling. Not the burning embarrass but the fluttering in your chest as you realized you couldn’t look away. And that you didn’t want to.

“If I didn’t absolutely disappoint you tonight,” he began slowly, his voice running deep as he spoke only for you to hear. “I’d love to take you out again.”

For the first time that night, you moved without hesitation. You nodded your head, letting that smile take a hold of your face. “I’d like that.”

i did NOT mean to write this all in one but oh well, hope yall love it!!

JOHN LOGAN

♡ the love advice (3+1)───as john logan's best friend, it was your moral obligation to give him love advice, even if it went direct against your own wants

♡ bloom───you didn't care for romance, nor did you care for men in romance. you were only on this blind date because you owed allie a favor. you weren't sure what to expect from this stranger john logan

JOHN TUCKER

♡ off-limits───garrett had always been overly protective of you, going so far as putting as declaring you 'off-limits' to his friends, but things don't always go to plan (coming soon!)

DEAN DI LAURENTIS

FIYERO TIGELAAR

♡ to forgive; to forget ( series )───having never lived in one place for long, you were used to being the one everyone eventually forgot about. and despite his promises, fiyero proved himself to be just like everyone else. or so you think

♡ let it snow───finding out that you don't know how to skate, fiyero dedicates his time to teaching you

ANTHONY BRIDGERTON

♡ winter wonderland───anthony was much too serious, especially around the holidays, you were dedicated to letting him have a bit of fun

BENEDICT BRIDGERTON

♡ exist for love (original character; series)───after being newly widowed, Aurelia Florentine decides to return back home, but she's not the same person from when Benedict last saw her

CISCO RAMON

♡ ghost spider)───central city knew their famous and heroic Flash, but what happens when there's a new hero in town with a set of special senses

JOHN LOGAN

AARON HOTCHNER

♡ where bridges burn

⤷ (ignited spark ; old flame ; burned hearts)───you can't help but fear the possibility of your love ruining everything

♡ rings───when facing an unsub, she asks you what you'd do to protect your daughter

♡ bewitched───after a date gone wrong, hotch finds you and gives you the night you deserve

♡ linus and lucy───you decide to share your christmas traditions with aaron and jack

SPENCER REID

♡ love, life, and death───as the ticking timebomb clicks closer and closer to your doom, you couldn't help but think about all the things you never said

♡ baby it's cold outside───when a snow storm get even worse, you and spencer take refuge in your home

ELLE GREENAWAY

GEORGE WEASLEY

♡ snowman───when you have nowhere else to go over the holiday break, george insists you come home with him

SIRIUS BLACK

♡ you're a mean one, mr. grinch───sirius black was always insufferable, but something about the winter season made him even more of a pain in the ass

REGULUS BLACK

♡ first times a charm───you never really got to know your best friend's brother, but when you finally do, you find yourself quite taken by him

REMUS LUPIN

♡ let me love you───despite all the signs he was giving you, you were so convinced that remus lupin did not like you

WOLFSTAR

BUCKY BARNES

♡ your void ; light in the dark (bonus)───as the entirety of new york city is cloaked in darkness, you are forced to come face to face with your past you worked so hard to put away

♡ my only wish (this year)───you don't think your grumpy neighbor should spend christmas alone

JOHNNY STORM

♡ phoenixed spark [sneak peek]───johnny never thought he'd see you, his old flame, ever again

♡ burning slow [ 3+1 ]───the three times johnny flirted with you + the one time you flirted back

♡ all i want for christmas───most of johnny's christmas season is spent trying to find the perfect gift for you

BOB REYNOLDS

CLARK KENT/SUPERMAN

♡ theory of goodness ( series )───as an up and coming journalist of the daily planet, you couldn't stand your co-worker Clark

STEVE HARRINGTON

♡ last christmas───maybe it's about time you stop lying to yourself about how you feel

EDDIE MUNSON

♡ this christmas───yet another christmas has passed where you haven't told eddie the truth

BYLER

Outcome one was like everyone else’s—have way too many drinks and spill a few too many secrets all while dancing like no one was watching. Sure, you probably misplaced your purse a while ago and the next morning you’d wake up with a killer hangover, but that was a future-you issue.

Outcome two was more pitiful. You likely had something important to do in the morning, so you decided against drinking, meaning your butt was glued to the booth that you shared with your best friend as he made googly eyes at the waitress.

It was nights like these that made you want to rip your heart out of your chest and stomp on it. That would hurt less than this.

“You know staring at her any harder won’t magically make her a mind reader, right?”

His eyes flickered back over to you with some poor attempt at confusion. “Who?”

“John Logan, do not play stupid with me, your smarts is the only thing you have going for you.”

A laugh escaped the boy, his lips spreading across his cheeks in a way that made your heart flutter. “Gee thanks, tell me what you really think.”

You attempted to mirror his actions, letting a similar smile find you that never truly reached your eyes. “If I told you what I really think, you’d be running for the hills.”

“Give me some credit,” he replied, bumping his shoulder into yours. “If I wanted to run, I would’ve done it ages ago.”

It was like something was tethering you to him wherever he touched you, urging you to seek him out. As he bumped his shoulder into yours, you leaned into it, smiling as the two of you met in the middle.

“I’ll hold you to it,” you smiled.

“Oh, I know you will.”

For that small bit of time as the music continued on and the world spun around the two of you, you were able to forget and play pretend just for a bit. Pretend that the way he leaned into your touch meant something more. Pretend that he also felt something every time your eyes would cross.

You could even imagine a world where you got over yourself and admitted everything that has sat on your chest since what felt like the beginning of time.

“Hey guys, welcome to Malone’s, I’m Hannah. What can I get started for you today.”

And in a flash, the moment would slip away to the nothingness you were dealt with as John sat up in his seat, leaning forward so his eyes were centered on her.

You felt it as that dagger in your chest twisted itself as you watched his eyes light up at the sight of her. Your eyes trailed over him observing the way his smile grew shy and how seemed to be fiddling with his hands as he talked to her.

Flicking your eyes up to Hannah, you could feel the way your heart sank. Some deep, selfish part of you wanted nothing more than to hate the girl. If you hated her, then maybe you’d find some weird twisted vindication for the way it all made you feel.

But you couldn’t bring yourself to hate her.

In turn, all you were left with were these cruel comparisons that lingered in your mind. How she seemed to carry herself with this assurance—like she knew exactly what she was going to do and nothing would get in her way. How she seemed to make people laugh without even trying. Even how she looked so effortlessly beautiful even after working the fifth hour of her nighttime shift.

It made you feel rather dull in comparison.

“And for you?”

You blinked back to attention, realizing both of their eyes were on you. “Oh um…just water please.” Your smile felt weak, reminding you that you’d be happier watching some rom-com back at your dorm instead of putting yourself through this hell.

“Y’sure you don’t want anything else,” John asked, his brow quirking up at you curiously.

You nodded, pulling your arms under the table and squeezing them together as you shoulders pulled in. “Yeah. I’m not all that hungry if I’m being honest.”

“Alright then,” Hannah smiled. “Just let me know if you change your mind, everything should be out shortly.”

Once she left the table, you remained silent. Your eyes swept across the room, seeing the live band playing from the front and the crowd forming around them, but you weren’t really watching them.

You kind of drifted off, staring aimlessly ahead of you as your thoughts and frustrations swirled heavily in your chest.

Then you felt the warmth that wrapped around your hand, threading between your fingers and holding you carefully. “Hey, you okay?”

And like a boulder being pushed back up the hill again, you felt the spiking of your heartbeat as you looked over to see John looking at you with concern. His brows pinched together in a way that made you want to cup his face and smooth over his frown lines.

You tried your best to push out the best ‘yeah!’ and inwardly cringed as it sounded to bright and chipper.

He squeezed your hand, bringing it to the table as he leaned in, tilting his head to you inquisitively. “You’re a terrible liar, y’know?”

You scoffed and smiled lightly. “Says you.”

John let out a drawn out hum. “Well now your deflecting.”

“Nothing gets past you, huh?”

A beat of silence passed over the two of you for just a moment as he his eyes scanned over your face carefully, a small frown taking his lips.

“Talk to me.” His tone was deeper now, softer as he lowered his voice just for you. “You always have.”

You couldn’t bring yourself to say anything at first, just staring back at him with a melancholic admiration. He could always read you. He knew it, his friends knew it, and you knew it all too well.

It swirled all too many feelings in your chest every time you were presented with that fact. Your heart bleeding at the thought that no one on this earth knew you better than him. Then it froze over with fear at the idea that one look too long would send him into the realization that you are hopelessly in love with him. And of course, it all shattered in hurt as you were forced to realize that he didn’t know.

He didn’t know the biggest, all-encompassing secret that kept you up into the long hours of the night and prevented you from being alone and drunk with out of the fear of spilling everything.

It made you wonder how much he truly knew you, and how much you fabricated in your head to cope with the fact that he wasn’t yours and probably never will be.

“I know,” you smiled convincingly enough, squeezing his hand back. “I’m just a little tired. It’s been a long week.”

You felt as his hand untangled itself from yours as he lifted his pinky up to you. “Promise?”

A short moment passed as you blinked at his finger. Swallowing the lump in your throat, you smiled and interlocked your pinky with his. “Promise.”

“Alright, guys. I’ve got two waters, an order of burgers and fries, and an extra fry.”

And just like that his gaze was back on her. “Thank you, Hannah.”

“Of course,” she smiled, throwing her hands up on her hips. “Did you guys want anything else?”

You only shook your head and smiled halfheartedly. “No, that’ll be all.”

“Great! If you need anything else, I’m Hannah!”

At first you watched as she walked away, then you let your eyes drift back to John where he had just the similar thought.

You bit your lip in thought, deeply mulling over the words that you knew you’d come to regret.

“You should talk to her…outside of here I mean.”

He whipped his head around to face you, his brows knitting back down in a form of confusion. “What,” he laughed. “No, I couldn’t.”

“Why not,” you joked, bumping your shoulder into his again. “If you stare at her longingly like that any longer then you’ll just look like a creep.”

His mouth fell open and shut as he searched for his words—or excuses. “I’m not her type—she doesn’t even like hockey guys.”

You nodded skeptically. “And how do you know that?”

He responded with a wince, his face contorting into a cringe as he rubbed the back of his neck. “I may or may not have overheard her telling her friend about it the other day at the counter.”

This time, it was your turn to laugh as your mouth fell open in disbelief. “Oh my god, you are a creep. I take it back, maybe you shouldn’t talk to her.”

“I’m not a creep,” he scoffed, hiding his smile. “It was an accident. I meant to talk to her, I just…froze up I guess.”

You could’ve teased him for it, but you didn’t. Instead you met him with sincerity. “You gotta take your chance at some point. Before someone swoops in and takes that chance before you. Then you’ll sit there regretting every action you didn’t take.”

You looked at him absentmindedly, not meaning it to come off as profound advice, but when you met his eyes again, they were back on you in a way that made your eyes widen a bit.

“Woah,” he commented half jokingly. “Sounds like you’re speaking from experience.”

You rolled your eyes, snagging a fry from his basket. “Wouldn’t you like to know, weather boy.”

John hummed and rolled his eyes. “Can’t go a moment without saying something sarcastic, can you?”

You grinned. “Nope. I’d die without it.”

He smiled again, making your heart sparkle once more.

“Here,” he replied, pushing his extra basket of fries in your direction. “That’s for you.”

“What? I didn’t order any.”

“I know,” he murmured. “But you always say you’re not hungry before eating half my fries. Can’t have you going hungry on me.”

You looked at the basket, hand hovering over it before flitting your eyes back up to him.

“…thank you…”

“Of course. What are friends for?”

[2]

You were 15 when you met John Logan—the guarded yet kind boy that ended up being your partner for the class project. From then on, the two of you were practically attached at the hip.

He was there for you at every bad day and rough moment and you were there whenever his world became too much.

The two of you balanced out the chaotic lives you lived and over those years, you learned a few things about him.

You knew that he had the tendency to bite his tongue, never wanting to step on someone else’s toes unless he pushed to his limit. You knew he was especially hard on himself because no one else was; because if he wasn’t he’d have to face the reality of losing everything he worked hard to build. You also knew that if he didn’t want to be found, he knew just how to make himself sparse.

The past few days had been fine, the both of you focusing on your respective schedules and finding time for each other in between, but then out of nowhere, it was radio silent from him.

You let it go on for a day, giving him the time to breathe because you knew he likely needed it if he was avoiding you, but after that you decided you should find him. And you knew exactly where to find him.

With a zip, you closed up your hoodie as you walked into the doors of the skating rink. Sure enough, he was right where you expected him to be: pushing himself beyond his limit as an excuse to get his mind off is life.

Wordlessly, you sat there and watched him as he paced back and forth on the ice, smacking the pucks aggressively into the goals. You didn’t flinch or react as the sound echoed through the room, only kept your eyes trained on him as he finally slowed to a stop and skated in your direction.

“Hey stranger,” you called once he was close enough. “Y’wanna talk about it?”

His breath was shallow as he looked at you through the metal of his helmet. You could see the sweat dripping off him as he shook his head. “It’s nothing.”

“Okay then,” you replied coolly, nodding before holding up a pair of skates for him to see. “Can I join you?”

He looked at you with a sense of disbelief. “You wanna do drills with me?”

You shrugged. “I don’t wanna play. I wanna skate. It’ll be kinda hard though with a big angry hockey player smacking his shit around on the ice.”

After a beat of contemplation from him, a small victorious smile slipped onto your lips as you saw his shoulders slump in defeat. “For old times sake Johnny.”

The boy lost the helmet and stick by time you slipped your skates onto your feet and made your way on the ice.

You didn’t wait for him as you kicked off, skating a jogging pace around the ice. You didn’t need to look back to know what he was already slowly catching up to you before finding his pace right next to you.

At first, the two of you skated in silence. Only the noise of the blades meeting the ice could be heard. Then he broke the silence.

“Garrett and Hannah got together.”

His words were blunt and spit out—you almost missed them. But when they eventually caught up to your ears, you came to a sudden stop, John stopping and turning around just a few feet ahead of you.

“What?”

He shook his head. “I really don’t wanna repeat it.”

Apart of you wanted to be gleeful. That recurring selfishness that wanted nothing more than to let Hannah be out the picture. But then you saw that hurt and frustration covering his face and it all melted into guilt.

“I–you were right. I should’ve said something when I had my chance. It’s just…pisses me off.”

You skated up to him slowly. “That she’s taken?”

“That it’s Garrett!” His voice rebounded off the walls as it raised slightly. “He—he didn’t even know her name a week ago and I just—,” he cut himself off.

His face was flushed red when you reached him, refusing to even look you in the eye. “Garrett’s great. My best friend or whatever but,” he looked up at you and shook his head, “I know him. He’s gonna be over her in less than a month and she doesn’t deserve that…”

You hated that feeling that rushed over you as you stood before him. Frustration and self-pity welling up in a bile that rested somewhere in your chest, waiting to just engulf you. The only thing worse than the feeling itself had to be shoving it away like your feelings were worth nothing.

Yet with a gentleness reserved for very few, you slipped your hands into his and gave it a squeeze. “John…I’m gonna tell you something. I know you’re not gonna wanna hear it but you need to.”

He didn’t look up at first, just glared at the ice below him.

“John.”

With stubborn defiance, he let his eyes meet yours and behind all that anger you could see the real vulnerability pouring through.

“It’s not your place to decide what’s good for Hannah.”

You could see his jaw clench as you continued, not in anger but when he knew you were right and didn’t want to admit it. “She is a grown woman who can date or hook up with whoever she likes…even Garrett.”

“I know,” he pushed out. “I just feel like he gets all these wins and I’m just…fucked. Like I can’t stop pulling the short end of the stick.”

You nodded, staring at him intently as you kept your grip on his hands. “I know. And unfortunately, that’s life. Sometimes you get shit and sometimes you get gold and most days you can’t control which hand you’re dealt. What you can control is what you do with it. Are you gonna obsess over this girl that isn’t yours, or are you gonna find a way to move past it?”

His breath was even now and his eyes stayed concentrated on you as his anger slowly slipped away. Wordlessly, he nodded and squeezed your hands one last time and let you ground him in this moment.

[INTERLUDE]

John was a man of consistency. Growing up the way he did, he chased that rhythm of knowing exactly was going to happen next in his life; whether that be with his academics, his career, or just sticking to a weekly schedule of class, gym, practice, studying, and sleep (save room for a party or two of course).

Within that schedule was movie night with you every week.

The two of you sat on the couch, lucky to snag the tv before any of the other boys. He sat in the corner of the couch, arm thrown over the back while you cozied into his side.

If he was being honest, he lost the plot of the movie a while ago; it had been a long day and practice was particularly rough so he felt dead. But he enjoyed these smaller moments with you when the world quieted itself just for the two of you.

“You’re not falling asleep on me,” you asked, looking up at him knowingly.

A rumble moved through his chest as he blinked himself awake. “Of course not. I could never miss the fundamentals of Jane Austen adaptations.”

“Don’t act like you don’t force me to watch your movies too,” you shoot back with a laugh while poking him in the side.

But before he could respond, a pain flared from his chest, forcing him to sit up with a groan. “Fuck.”

“Shit,” you murmured. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” he grunted, trying to shake it off before you got too worried. “Probably just a bruise.”

But John eventually learned that a world that you weren’t worried about him was a world that simply didn’t exist.

“Let me see.”

He laughed it off at first, looking up at you. “What?”

“You heard me.” Your voice was stern and stubborn, not offering much room for him to argue back. “Lift up your shirt.”

“Jesus, buy me dinner first.”

You frowned at him. “John Logan—,”

“Okay, okay fine,” he ushered, moving his hand that kept his shirt from riding up. “Forget how stubborn you can be.”

You didn’t give him much of a response as you reached for the hem of his shirt and lifted it up to reveal the large scrape running up the side of his abdomen.

“Jesus Christ, you’re bleeding.”

His mouth fell open a moment, looking down at his injury then back up at you. “I’d hardly call it bleeding. I’ve had worse.”

“Doesn’t mean you should be bleeding out on the couch.”

“I’m not bleeding out,” he tried. “The boys just got a little carried away during practice okay? I’ll go patch myself up right now if you’re so worried.”

“No,” you demanded, pushing him lightly back onto the couch as you now knelt above him to stand up. “You stay put, I’ll do it.”

“That’s really not necessary.”

You threw your hands up on your hips and glared at the boy. “How about this, either you let me help you or you let the doctor in the emergency room help you? Your pick.”

Once again, he let his mouth fall open and shut incredulously as a scoff of a laugh left. “Fine, okay. If you insist.”

You eventually returned with this silent concentration that he rarely ever saw in you. Wordlessly, you sat back down on the couch next to him.

He watched as you worked on him and somewhere between you lightly wiping the wet cloth over his wound and tearing open the bandage packet, something changed.

Suddenly he took notice of the way your eyes trained so heavily on him, the way you bit your bottom lip, the way your fingers brushed against his skin so lightly in a way that trailed a flame with every touch.

It was like you set him on fire and he had no clue what to do with it.

[3]

The library was typically where you found the most peace. Most times you were there with John, studying until your eyes hurt and you couldn’t bear to type another paper or jot down another formula. Tonight was meant to be no different.

But your study partner’s mind seemed to be wandering elsewhere.

“Okay I’ll bite,” you huffed out, tossing your pen down to the table. “What’s wrong?”

John’s eyes flickered up to you in confusion. “What do you mean?”

You stared at him. Hard. Your eyes scanned all over his face before leaning back in your chair with a sigh. “I thought you were done with all this Hannah mess.”

“I-,” he stammered. “I was—I am! What are you on about?”

You quirked a brow up at the boy. “You’re making that face you always do. That face when you see Hannah and you want her to look at you. Except now it’s worse because she’s not even here.”

“That’s not—I don’t—,” he cut himself off, rubbing his hand over face. “It’s not Hannah…not anymore.”

You paused, suddenly afraid of moving as he avoided your gaze. You knew the question you wanted to ask—it weighed on your chest, fat, heavy, and waiting to be addressed.

“But there is someone?”

The silence in the air was enough of an answer for you, but his responses that tumbled out only seemed to taunt you more, beating the dagger deeper into your chest.

“Yes? No. Maybe. I don’t know…it’s complicated.”

That silence sat uncomfortably with you, as if the room was closing in. You wanted nothing more than to take down the walls so hellbent on closing in on you.

“Two lovers in a month,” you joked, your smile half-assed. “Quite the Casanova, huh Johnny?”

You didn’t expect him to snap back at you.

“Don’t be like that.” It wasn’t harsh or mean, but you could sense the edge in his voice as he looked back up at you.

“Like what,” you bit back, your voice cautious on the air.

“Like…” he trailed off, searching for the words in his head. “I don’t know.”

You looked at him patiently, rolling the ball of thought in your head before finally speaking up. “Tell me about them?”

He looked up at you and in his eyes you found something new, something strange. You couldn’t quite put your finger on it, either.

“I…I just don’t want to fuck it up. I’m not good at this and you know I’m not but this time…they’re not like Hannah. I’d actually have something to lose if I do anything.”

God it felt like someone was punching you in the gut, watching him go on with this sparkle in his eyes that seemed to intensify from the times he’d go on about Hannah.

But you still did what you did best. You gave him advice.

“Well…I know it’s corny to say but, I think the best thing for you is listen to yourself…I can tell you that you need to man up or that you need to focus on yourself, but at the end of the day, it all comes down to what you’re willing to risk for what you want.”

He didn’t respond at first. Only sat there quietly and you weren’t really sure how he felt about what you had to say.

“I can say this. Ever since I met you, you always carefully picked the people you were friends with. If this person means as much to you as you say then something like this won’t chase them off.”

You leaned forward and let your hands cover his, rubbing your thumb over his knuckles in a way that only felt selfish.

You could only bring yourself to wonder why you kept putting yourself in positions like this with him.

[+1]

Finals season was finally over and you were free. It felt like one of the many weights were lifted off your shoulder and you were finally free to do what you really wanted to do.

Maybe on another night you would’ve stayed in and slept until the next semester, but somehow (with very little convincing) you were at Malone’s once again with your friends.

One thing led to another and suddenly you were settling on one of your two inevitable outcomes that came from Malone’s: enough drinks in your system to want to dance on a table. It was the kind of confidence you weren’t even sure where it came from.

You had already found the chair to help you reach the table before you felt someone tugging you down into their chest.

You whipped your head around suddenly before your shock melted into a dizzy smile as you recognized him.

“Johnny! I missed you. Where have you been?”

“Well,” he started with an amused smile, slowly leading you away from the crowd and towards the door. “One of your friends called and told me you were a bit to drunk to drive home.”

You let out a dramatic gasp, halting in your step before turning around to face him fully. “Was is Mackenzie? Or was it Kris? Traitors…”

John huffed out a laugh as he took you by your hand and continued to pull you toward the exit, guiding you to his car with the looming fear of you suddenly falling over or puking. Or both.

“I’m not supposed to be alone with you when I’m drunk,” you groaned as he began his drive. “Sober-me made drunk-me swear by it.”

He looked at you with a raised eyebrow. “Why’s that?”

“Because,” you hissed. “I have secrets! Big secrets. If I’m drunk then I’ll want to tell you my secrets.”

He could only let himself smile a bit as he tried to brush off your words. “Well then I’ll be sure you don’t spill any secrets to me.”

You only giggled and grinned as you turned to him. “That sounds like a challenge.”

“I thought you didn’t want me to have your secrets,” he laughed.

“That’s sober-me,” you replied with a feigned coolness. “Drunk-me doesn’t associate with them.”

“Talk about self-sabotage,” he chuckled lightly to himself.

His hand rested on the console between the two of you, drumming lightly in a way that caught your attention. Absentmindedly, you reached for it, running your fingers up and down to trace where his veins trailed.

“You have pretty hands, Johnny.”

His eyes flickered to look at you from his peripheral. “Thank you.”

His voice was clipped. Restrained.

“Johnny?”

A beat of silence passed between the two of you before he spoke up. “Yeah?”

“Can I tell you something?”

A small smile spread across his lips again. “Is it a secret?”

You giggled again, looking back at him. “No…it’s a question. I always give you advice, I think it’s about time you give me some earth=shattering advice.”

He couldn’t help but laugh at that before releasing a soft sigh. “Go for it.”

“If I have a this big fat secret that I technically shouldn’t tell, I know that I shouldn’t ever bring it up.”

“That’s typically how secrets work.”

“Okay smart-ass,” you frowned, flicking his hand before sitting back in your seat. “But what if this secret is like huge. Like…it makes me want to throw up, explode, and vomit all at the same time.”

“Aren’t vomiting and throwing up the same thing,” he questioned.

“Oh my god,” you groaned, throwing your head back to stare at the ceiling of the car. “Stop trying to be funny, a piece of me dies every time you try to be funny.”

“Wow,” he muttered, failing to even try to hide his smile. “I think a secret like that should be told to the right person. You should find someone you trust with it if you can’t share it.”

The car finally came to a stop, allowing him a moment to fully look at you as your eyes drooped back down to him. “And if the secret is about the person I trust the most in the world?”

The silence that passed between the two of you was typically short and quick, shoved under the rug before it could even be processed. This silence was not like that.

It laid in the air with heavy existence as John struggled to come up with anything to say. All he could focus on was the way your eyes seemed to glimmer under the lights of the nearby street lights.

And of course, he was always the one to break it. “Look at that, we’re here. C’mon.”

Even drunk, you knew the routine whenever you spent the night at John’s. You’d take the bathroom first, then him and he’d let you take the bed while he took the floor (no matter how hard you fought him over it). You had stayed over so often that he already had your clothes waiting for you in his bottom drawer.

It didn’t take long for the two of you to get ready. You sat on his bed, watching him expectantly as he made his own makeshift bed on the floor beside you.

“You should know my secret,” you blurted out.

“I really don’t think I should,” he replied softly.

“I really think you should.”

“y/n.”

“It’s really important actually—been eating me alive since freshman year.”

“y/n.”

“I’m in love with you John Logan.”

With his back to you, the man froze in his actions. Unable to move as the words fully moved through his head. But you kept going.

“I wanted to tell you immediately actually, but then there was her. Yo—you liked her for so long and y’know it was always Hannah. Always. And a part of me, a really really selfish part of me, wishes it stayed Hannah. Because then…it means less. Hannah is amazing and kind and beautiful, and so so so funny. Hell I’d be in love with Hannah if I wasn’t so in love with you.”

He knew he should stop the words free-falling from your lips, but he couldn’t even gather himself to move much less convince you to stop saying all the things he knew you’d regret in the morning.

“But then you met someone else and then I finally realized it. It was never about me not being like Hannah. It was about me not being right…for you. I’ll never be right for you, will I?”

Not enough words could describe everything John wanted to say in that moment, but it truly didn’t matter. For when he turned around to face you, you were already fast asleep.

[the aftermass]

You weren’t sure exactly what time it was when you eventually woke up, all you knew is that you were drenched in regret as a headache pounded incessantly in your head.

The night came back to you in pieces, like a puzzle waiting to be put back together slowly. You remember your friends inviting you to Malone’s, having a few too many drinks, the dancing, the attempts to climb on the table.

It got fuzzier as you tried to recall. John had shown up, dragging you out the bar, convincing you not to spill—

You sat up suddenly, headache be damned, as your memories slammed itself back into your mind.

And then the voice you dreaded to hear. “Good morning.”

He was seated there on the floor, just like he always was when you woke up. You would exchange your ‘good mornings’, laugh about whatever happened the night before, talk about what you had planned that day.

“You remember much from last night,” he asked, sounding as if he’d been up for hours.

You only nodded.

If you were being honest, you wanted to skip over the entire routine. You swung your feet over the bed, planting your feet on the ground while avoiding his gaze.

“Do you want to talk about it,” he asked.

You shook your head at first. “No.”

You didn’t need to look at him to register how much he was thrown off. “No?”

“No just…not yet.” You began for the door, hand landing on the doorknob. “I need coffee before I can talk about anything.”

You knew he was following and you really wished you didn’t. Knowing he was just a few steps behind you only made the thudding in your heart all the more intense.

It was a huge awkward silence that settled between the two of you as he stood there, waiting for the moment you gave any indication as to wanting to continue the conversation.

“You want some,” you ask, back turned completely to him.

“y/n.”

You let out a sigh as you gripped your now full mug, glaring into the pool of brown liquid before eventually turning around to face him from where he stood at the other side of the island.

“Guess that’s a no,” you attempted to joke, but he didn’t quite return the sentiment. He only seemed to look back at you with that look of conflict he wore so often.

“If you don’t want to talk about it…”

“No,” you blurted out suddenly. “I just…”

You pinched the bridge of your nose before tossing your hand up and letting it fall to the side. “I kinda said everything I needed to say last night. Yes, I’ve liked you or been in love with you since we moved here. Yes, I was jealous of Hannah and I’m jealous of whoever you seem to like right now and no, I had no intention of telling you.

First it was Hannah and then it was your mystery person and I just don’t want to stand in the way of what you have going on and ruin thin—”

“y/n.”

He was beginning to make it a habit of saying your name in that specific tone that made you all dizzy inside.

“Can I have a turn to speak,” he asked softly.

You let out a brisk sigh before motioning for him to speak.

“Do you remember that one night a few weeks ago? When we were watching Pride and Prejudice in the living room?”

Your brows furrowed down in confusion before nodding slowly. “Yeaaah…? What about it?”

He took a step around the island, walking just a bit closer to you while still offering you that space. “Well, when I was sitting there, watching you patch me up, I realized something.”

He took another step. “I realized that you’re stubborn. And you rarely let other people have their way. But I like that about you.”

Another step. “You’re considerate. You always put other’s feelings before your own…even if it means sacrificing something for yourself.”

He took a final step forward, landing barely even a foot away from you. “I also learned that no one else in the world cares for me like you do. And I was blind to miss it for so long.”

Your mouth fell open, looking at him in with a mix of disbelief and skepticism. “I don’t understand. Your…your mystery person.”

With a gentle hand, he reached for your coffee mug and placed it down on the counter before grasping your hand to squeeze it tight, just like every time you did so to ground him.

“You are that person. It’s always been you. And if I’m being honest…ever since that night I have been doing everything in my power to not kiss you on the spot.”

And for a moment, neither of you moved. Neither of you was sure if one should. But then you saw that flicker of doubt in his eyes and the way he slowly leaned back from you.

In a split moment of decision making, you finally let your impulses speak for themselves and you grabbed the fabric of his shirt and pulled him into you, letting your lips collide.

He didn’t react at first, his eyes blowing wide as his senses caught up to him. But when they did, everything seemed to melt in place. With one arm wrapping itself around your waist, he let his other hand find the nape of your neck, cradling you close as you tried to breathe in every inch of him.

Your hand buried itself in his hair, nails scratching gently at his scalp, only making him sigh into the kiss. “Damn,” he mumbled against your lips, his breathing shallow as he pressed his forehead against yours.

You let out a soft laugh, unable to believe everything that’s finally happened. “Took you long enough to catch up, Johnny. You were killing me here.”

A smile blessed his lips as he continued to kiss you, like a vice. “I know. How will I ever make it up to you?”

You grinned devilishly. “I can think of a few different ways.

main masterlist

a/n: this was NOT meant to be this long omg. I just finished this show earlier this week and I'm obsessed with Logan, he's honestly one of my favorites. I hope this gets all the love, please comment and reblog it would mean so much to me!!

But as Super man, he could hear it—your heart. 

He’d never admit it out loud but he knew what your heart sounded like. Slow, steady, seemingly controlled. It thudded only a beat and a half faster than when he wore his red and blue but still—slow and steady. 

Yet the moment you asked him that question, the moment you asked him to entertain the lie you’d soon perform for your mother—he could hear the way your heart never slowed. It was as if your heartbeat picked up three times its usual rate and never fell back down. 

“Breathe,” he murmured as he stood behind you. 

You stood in front of your mirror, glaring at your reflection as you fiddled with the necklace around your neck, only allowing a flickering glance to Clark. 

“I am breathing. I’m clearly breathing. If I wasn’t breathing I’d be dead on the ground and—,” you stopped, casting another look at him before snapping your mouth shut defiantly. 

“You know I’m not one to tell you what to do…or feel,” Clark bit his tongue, almost recoiling as he tasted the words that were about to fall from his lips, “you should probably calm down.” 

Your glare back at him through the mirror was an answer enough for him. With his hands up in surrender, he took a step away from you as you let out an aggravated huff of air and continued to fiddle with the same necklace. 

He let a beat pass through the air, simply watching you as you worked in stubborn silence. He knew that you knew he was staring, his eyes carefully trained on the silent concentration that you basked in. 

Then he broke it. 

“Do you need help?” 

You let out yet another huff, ignoring the burning in your arms. “No.” 

And like a carefully timed joke, the chain slipped through your fingers, the necklace making the smallest chiming noise as it hit the ground. 

You were fast to grab it but Clark was faster, a swift stride in his movements that rang familiar to you. Just a little. 

“You’re so stubborn,” he murmured as he studied the necklace, fiddling with the clasp before gaining a good hold on it. 

You faced him now, glaring at him with defiant stubbornness that only rang as superficial to him. “Clark.” 

“Turn around,” he insisted. 

A wordless battle; silence settled between the two of you as you flicked an eyebrow up at him, arms crossed over your chest. Yet, your uncooperation was only met with his amusement. 

“What happened to the Clark that would apologize profusely just for stumbling by my desk? I miss that Clark.” 

Clark didn’t need superhearing to hear the soft joking undertone in your voice as you turned away, your back facing him. 

“I guess I’m not as scared of you anymore.”

The words rolled off his tongue easily, not meaning much behind it, but it made you stop in your tracks as that funny feeling rushed over you all over again. 

It began in your chest, flaring outward, almost like a twinge. Worst of all, it made you feel so painfully aware of everything, all at once. The way you were standing, where Clark was standing, how close he stood from you. The way he looked at you so carefully that you felt like he was looking straight into everything you tucked away. 

A person who knew you less, wouldn’t have even noticed; the way every muscle in your face and body seemed to still. 

If Clark was that person, the person who was capable of seeing the multitudes behind your stillness, he didn’t say anything about it. 

You blinked once, then twice, then shoo-ed it away to the confines of your mind.  

The hum that you forced past your throat almost hurt, splitting up the ounce of thick tension that snuck into the air as you turned away from him. “I guess I need to work on my glare then.” 

Clark seemed to suck in a breath of air as he moved to lift the necklace over you. In the reflection though, his face seemed to lay perfectly even behind his glasses. 

You felt the cool sensation of the metal touching your collarbone first as you watched him through the mirror lower the necklace over you. 

“Or,” he murmured from behind you, spoken dangerously close to your ear. “You’re finally opening up to me?” 

It wasn’t a statement of declaration. It was a question; a quiver of uncertainty as he tested the height of the walls you kept rebuilding around him. 

His hands lingered as he clasped the chain, daring to let them connect to you. But he only let them brush against the space between your upper-back and curve of your neck. He could hear the pacing of your heart, spiking as your skin prickled beneath him. 

He looked from the necklace to your reflection, but you were already there first looking at him with a focused yet unsure gaze. 

His words came out with hesitance. “That wouldn’t be so terrible…would it?” 

You didn’t move. You didn’t turn around. You simply stared at him through the mirror. Staring at his reflection in a way that made him wonder if you were refusing to look at him. 

“I don’t know,” you mumbled. Clark wasn’t even sure if he was supposed to hear it.

But he did.

A moment of bravery crossed over Clark, the kind of bravery he only knew in blue and red. With a gentle hand, he let it brush over your shoulder. A silent way of saying that he was here. 

But it was all too short-lived, the touch killed by your flinching sending his hands away from you.

His eyes widened as he cleared his throat and took a step back away from you, allowing you to finally turn around with pursed lips. 

“Look at the bright side. You survived the rehearsal, now it’s just the dinner.” 

You scoffed and smiled, looking away from him. “Just the dinner, he says.” 

Clark let out a laugh. “I think if you can survive a hard lecture from Perry, you might be able to survive a dinner with your mom.” 

“Well Perry doesn’t get personal now does he?” 

You weren’t trying to shut him down and a part of Clark knew that. He could see it in the fear set behind your eyes as your poorly attempted comedy.

He let out the softest of sighs as he rolled his options around in his mind before stepping forward. “It’ll be okay,” he soothed. “I promise.” 

You shook your head slightly. “You don’t know my mom.” 

“No. But I know that you’re not alone here. You have me and I have you.” 

A soft air settled around the two of you now, shrouded in silence. Not awkward or full of tension. Just…soft. 

“Your back, I mean,” Clark corrected. “I’ll have your back.” 

And for the first time in a while, you cracked a humored, non-sarcastic smile. “Got it.”  

Clark smiled and the room fell back to his silence—silence except for the faint sound of your beating heart. 

Clark was never intentionally trying to eavesdrop on the movement of your heart. It was always a passive habit; the same way humans don’t try to breathe, they simply do. 

He could never turn it off, but something that noise, the fact that it belonged to you, Clark couldn’t help but seek it out. It was the closest Clark could ever get to knowing your true inner-monologue—your thoughts, fears…what you truly thought of him. 

As you smiled up at him, he could hear how your rhythm slowed yet made itself irregular; as if it were tripping over its own leisure pace. Clark didn’t know what to make of it. 

Clark wanted nothing more than to reach out for you. On a physical sense, sure, but likewise on an emotional level. He knew the walls were there but he also knew there was a reason for everything you did and how you reacted. Even the way you looked at him now with such guarded emotion. 

He wanted nothing more than to just know you. Truly. 

But as you cleared your throat and took a step back, clearing the fog that filled the air, he knew that you’d likely never let him. 

“We should probably get out there before my mom starts looking for us.” 

“...yeah.” 

You stepped out of your room, Clark shortly behind you as you made your way to the kitchen. 

Clark looked around the room. It was only your brother, his fiancee, your parents, and the two of you. Your eyes weren’t focused on the table where everyone else sat; yours fell on your mother, carrying two large plates from the kitchen. 

And Clark did what he did best. 

“Let me get that for you, ma’am.” 

Swiftly, he slipped the plates from your mother’s hands and brought them to the center of the dining table where everyone seemed to watch him in amusement. 

“Oh thank you Clark,” she gasped, a hand over her heart. “I don’t remember the last time y/n has tried to help me in the kitchen.”

You frown set in as Clark paused, looking at you with wide eyes. 

“I just hope they don’t have you doing all the work back at home. You weren’t the most active when you were younger, were you?” 

Tension lingered in the air as you and Clark took your seats, right across from your mom. A strained smile found your face and some odd beat of confliction found Clark’s until he eventually offered: “It’s nothing I don’t mind doing ma'am.” 

It was going to be a long night…you just knew it. 

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credit to @enchanthings for divider

okkk ik last time i said i'm back but NOW i'm back, i promise. i just finished my second year of college and it was a lot tbh. between all the creative writing and poetry classes i was taking, finding extra time to write a story with a confined plot was killing me, but i'm hoping to come back swinging this summer!! i did make a few changes, mainly being, reader is now femme presenting and using she/her pronouns occasionally just because i find it hard writing around it when writing about their mom, i hope this doesn't upset anyone too much, as a genderqueer person myself, i know its frustrating finding specifically gendered fics everywhere, so i'll try to still keep it as neutral as possible :)

and don't forget to comment if you'd like to be added to the taglist or if I missed you somewhere in here