🥀

summer depression is starting to fully hit and it's such a motherfucker 💔💔 so apologies to all my dearly beloved friends if my correspondences start to become even more like "silence for a few days and then a random burst of plenty of energy to have a thorough conversation" 💔💔💔 that's the way i already am but it becomes Even Worse in the summertime

blow drying hair when you have itchy dry scalp (not dandruff just dry skin) feels like heaven. like yessssss shuck all that off. yessirreeee

AND also waking up sweaty as a dog despite air conditioner... and I'm cold AF too so ofc I wanna have all the blankets on me. it's just the damn nightmares and restlessness... #willgrahammoment

dreams where you're trying to get home and you're literally a block away but then everything starts morphing and nothing is recognizable and your destination just gets further and further away. literally the worst I'M JUST TRYING TO GET HOME

I lost my plastic fork 💔💔💔 so now I have to use a normal fork. #iykyk #sensorynightmare

gay was an impulse name i might change it to shadow keep or shaman village...

I was gonna go remove characters but I lied so bad. in fact I am back to my old habits and I'm adding two more + duchess. grace of course. but then also I was looking at my list and saw imperfect cell on my crush section and was like darn i wish I could come up with lore for him that sticks... AND THEN I DID!!! what if. I was also a genius mechanic. and I found him after he hatched from his pod and was hiding away and gathering his strength and then I met him and thought he was actually the most perfect the way he already was... and then he let me reprogram him a bit so he can love himself in his best most beautiful bug form and he never commits any atrocities 🥰💔

I need to make a second switch account soon once I'm maxxed out on mostly everything on this island 😭😭😭 i keep thinking of characters then have to carefully choose if another one gets the chop and becomes reborn... I think I need to have a Blorbo Island and then a Silly Island. bc like Jacob elordi and rupaul are really funny to have but also... blorbos...

AND I still love messmer the impaler more than anyone else on planet earth or probably the entire universe. genuinely.

so basically that's where I have been for the past several months. stewing in that and getting evil about it. and I am sharing with you incase any of you are familiar or struggling... commiserating 👏👏 support group 👏👏 yay 👏👏 let's go 👏👏

so basically what I was doing for several months re: the Twitter issue, was, it taught me a really unhealthy coping mechanism, in that, when I had an issue with something, I'd try to protect myself from confronting my own feelings and turn it into an external issue; IE like being like THIS IS EVIL BC IT'S ANTI FEMINIST!!! and going into extreme detail as to why. which like. I have points, I'm not incorrect, but also, I'm completely avoiding touching my personal feelings on it by doing that... and leaving no room for genuine connection with anyone 😭😭

it feels so nice to have my little journal with friends hi guys. I will feel no guilt for not posting much about self ships anymore 😤😤 cause I haven't been very focused on it... but I still like hanging out with you all and having you be there to witness my Public Journaling